Miroku called in sick for Inu-yasha. He didn't tell a lie (for once), either. For three days the half-demon stayed in his bed with a fever, tossing and turning with fantastic hallucinations. Miroku didn't leave his side except to cook or shop for groceries, and was by Wednesday evening finally able to see an improvement. That night Inu-yasha opened his eyes and saw Miroku, and spoke for the first time since that fateful Sunday.
"Hi," he said.
"Idiot," said Miroku, and hit him with a shoe. "You stupid idiot! How long had you been lying there when I found you? In the hall, with the window wide open and with nothing on but T-shirt and pants?! It's late autumn! I know it was warm in the morning but it gets fucking freezing in the evening! You could have caught pneumonia!" His voice softened as he reached out a hand to feel Inu-yasha's forehead. "Fever's gone down now, at least. Do you know how worried I've been?"
"I'm sorry." Inu-yasha coughed pathetically, reaching out for a glass of water. "I guess I was a little crazy."
"Care to share?"
Inu-yasha was silent for several seconds, but then looked up at his friend, looking more hurt than Miroku had ever seen him. "They're getting married," he said.
"Oh." What do you say at moments like this? thought Miroku. What do you say when the girl he's been dreaming of his entire life marries someone else? When a dream that has sustained him through I don't know how many years suddenly ends? When he wakes up and sees reality?
"But I think I am going to be alright." Inu-yasha was looking down at his hands, gripping them together tight, almost convulsively. He looked young, Miroku reflected, young and very vulnerable. "I must. Because I'm going to be at their wedding, and I can't upset her..." The hard self control he'd been keeping since he woke up wavered, started to crack. His hands were shaking.
Miroku sat down on the bed and put his arms around him.
"I think you need a good cry," he said quietly.
Inu-yasha gave in, and cried.
……………………….
The worst part is the loneliness. Large parts of my life, both the past and the present, have been so lonely. And once you've tasted friendship and love, it's so hard to go back to being without them. That's why I craved Kagome. Because she would know me and the other me, and she would share this secret. I don't know if I can carry it alone... It's such a big part of me. Even if I meet another girl, even if I fall in love again, can she live with me when there is clearly something I'm hiding?
"Yo, Inu-yasha!" Miroku shouted, startling him from his thoughts. Popping his head around the doorframe, the once-monk, now as-far-from-monk-as-you-could-possibly-get grinned as he saw Inu-yasha sitting propped up against a couple of pillows, with a steaming mug on the bedside table. "Good to see you're feeling better, mate. I'm just going to nip out for a bit, see this exhibition about exotic fruit at the Botanical Gardens, but I'll be back in a couple of hours. There's some soup on the stove, you can heat it up if you get too hungry, otherwise I'll be here in time to make dinner so don't worry about that. And don't forget to drink that mug there. You know it's good for you."
"Knowing you, I'm not so sure." Inu-yasha smiled and picked up the cup, peering into it critically. "Hmm... it looks like normal tea, it smells like normal tea, but..." he took a small sip and snorted, "it sure as hell doesn't taste like normal tea. Miroku, what is the percentage in this? Seventy-five? And don't you know how to make anything without alcohol?"
Miroku frowned. "Well, there is the Teetotaler's Surprise, of course... no, I tell a lie, it's got Scotch in it. That's the surprise." He winked; Inu-yasha rolled his eyes. "Well, I have to get going. See you later... oh! There was one more thing. I know this might not be the right time, but..." He pointed to a piece of paper on the table. Inu-yasha picked it up with a puzzled frown and saw a phone number written in a sloping hand. There was also a cute cartoon in one corner, of a long-haired girl doing the victory sign and winking. "Yoko gave me that, to pass on to you. She said call her anytime you want to do some headbanging. And, well, it's Friday... but of course, I understand if you hate the idea. I just wanted to tell you."
Miroku left, and Inu-yasha lay back again. Actually, now that almost a week had passed since he'd talked to Kagome, he was feeling better. Lighter, somehow. He had loved Kagome, loved her with all his heart. And it was something that he'd never fully get over. But that had been the "old" Kagome, the one he knew so long ago. That had been something that belonged to his past, his other life. For Inu-yasha had changed, no matter how much he had tried to tell himself that he hadn't. He had finally realized that. The new Kagome – well, in a way he loved her, too, but for different reasons. He would never forget that, could never forget that, but he might be able to get over her.
And love someone else.
And Kagome still knows about me. She knows me and the other me, and she can like me for both of them, I hope. And I have Miroku.
Suddenly he grinned. He might get over Kagome, and he might not. He might find a girl who was willing to love him even though he wouldn't tell her everything about him, and he might not. There was no way of knowing. But he could damn well try.
Inu-yasha picked up Yoko's note and reached out for the phone.
The End…………………………
Hey guys! I'm really sorry it took me so long to update this – and I'm especially sorry since this is the last chapter. The reason for the break is that I lived away from home for a while and could not get at the computer.
I decided long ago when I started on this story to make it a pretty open ending. However, after reading all your reviews for the last chapter I became really inspired. So when I've got some time off from school – sometime next year – I might tackle this again and do a sequel. I've got a few ideas; nothing serious yet, but I might make something of it eventually.
Until then, tallyho! Thank you very much to all reviewers, especially you faithful ones who were with me right from the start.
Ciao!