Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or any of the assorted patented things I may mention. Really there just on loan, so sorry if this spoils the magic for some of the younger viewers.
AN: A big thanks to all three people who reviewed. The rest of you suck in a major way.
September
1, September, 11:30, aboard the Hogwarts Express,
I am surprisingly chipper this morning considering that this is the earliest I've gotten up all summer but that probably has more to do with the half pot of coffee I downed in about three sips twenty minutes ago. My hands are still shaking a little bit.
I'm actually a little glad to be going back, I mean lying around is nice and all but it can get old after a few months. I can't believe I said that, but it's true. I mean I know I'm only glad because I can't remember how much homework the teachers assign and how much of a suck fest it is but still I'm a bit excited.
Chris and Chris are fighting again. It's times like this that make me appreciate the incredible coincidence of their names because if I want them to shut up I only have to say "Chris shut it" and they both assume I'm talking to them. Not that either of them listen or anything, it just saves me time.
Oh god now they're starting in on their polar movie tastes. I've got to get out of here!
1, September, 7:39, the Great Hall,
The most amazing thing in the world just happened to me. I'm still feeling a little surreal. I got up and went to the bathroom to get away from the battling Chrises. The bathrooms on the Hogwarts express are really very nice- they're unisex (very important for later developments), with thick red carpet and little couches and what not- so it was only natural that I decide that now would be the time to paint my nails.
I'm not what you would call a girly girl and I bite my fingernails far to back for nail polish but I do love to paint my toenails. For some reason it's like my Sex Pistols underwear: even though no one but me ever sees it, it gives me a little bounce in my step. So I sat down on one of the couches took off my shoes and made myself at home.
It had only been about five minutes and I was only done with the first coat on the first foot when the door opens and to my horror in walks Sirius Black! I cursed myself for forgetting to lock the door. He seemed surprised to see me (who wouldn't be surprised to find a girl painting her toenails in the lavatory- God I am such a freak). "Oh I'm sorry." He said starting for the door.
"No it's all right, I can do this in my compartment." I said getting up and beginning to put on my shoe, keeping my head bent over in hopes of hiding behind my hair so he wouldn't be able to recognize me as the girl who ate it in her kitchen only a few days prior.
But I had just pulled my shoe on when the train went around a curve a little faster then it should have and several things happened at once: the heavy bathroom door slammed shut hard enough to jam itself, I toppled to the floor with a squeak (thank god still in my muggle blue jeans or my robes most certainly would have flown up) and Sirius swore loudly in surprise.
"Are you all right?" He asked.
What kind of crack was this man smoking? I had just humiliated myself more times then I could possibly count in the last five minutes and he wanted to know if I'm all right? No, of course I'm not "all right." What does that mean anyway? "Yeah." I said. "How about you?"
"I'm fine." He assured me. "But I have the bad feeling that we aren't going to be able to get this door open." He gave it a few experimental pulls. "It seems jammed."
God? Why do you hate me?
I went over and stood next to him. "Lets both try together." I suggested. And we did, we pulled on it long and hard but nothing seemed to work.
My older brother Andrew (whose now left for collage) once "pennied" me into my closet which basically meant that he pulled the door sideways and crammed pennies into the crack until the door wouldn't move. Which, apart from being a complete fire hazard was a little embarrassing because it took my parents two days to realize I was missing.
And when they finally did they flipped out and called the fire department over to break down my closet door with an ax instead of doing the logical thing and taking the bloody door off it's hinges. And my mother has her Ph.D.! You'd think they'd be more selective about who they make Doctors.
But the point of the story is to explain that I didn't panic because I had experience in this field, otherwise I would have no doubt been flipping out. "Someone's bound to come and use this rest room sometime soon and then we can simply get them to take the door off it's hinges." I reasoned aloud. "Unless you have your wand with you."
He shook his head. "Left it in my compartment."
"Well then we're stuck here for a bit. My name is..." I began to introduce myself.
"Emily Stanton, I know. You're Rosie's cousin right. I recognized you." He cut in. "I'm Sirius Black." As if I didn't know his name. Please, there wasn't a straight girl in this school who didn't have explicit sexual fantasies about him.
"I'm not a lesbian." I blurted out. Fuck! What the hell did I say that for?
He stared at me. "That's good to know. I'm not gay." He said laughing his deep, rolling laugh. I liked his laugh, it was rich and honest starting somewhere in his sternum and bubbling up in rolling peals. Am I fucking poetic or what?
I could feel the color rush to my face as I hurried to explain. "No...it's just that...well my parents...and I thought that maybe Rosie.... you know told you that...oh forget it." I finally gave up trying to have a conversation and did the logical thing: I took my shoe back off and resumed my nail painting.
Only a few moments had passed in silence when I began to feel uncomfortable and realized that Sirius must be staring at me. I looked up and sure enough his intense blue eyes locked with mine. "You want me to paint yours next or what?" I asked, well snapped really, a little angry that he had allowed me to humiliate myself so atrociously.
He eyed the fusha color. "You don't look like a toenail polish kinda girl." He said instead of answering me, his eyes flicking over the hole in the knee of my jeans, the ductape wrapped around the toe of my left sneaker to hold it together and my spray paint 'art is not a crime' T.
"And you don't look like someone who would like Rosie. Looks are deceiving." I shot back.
"Don't get along with your cousin?"
"Your arrogant aren't you." I accused.
"Maybe. But I'm right aren't I?" He smirked.
"Yeah." I conceded. "But so what. She's perfect and all, I understand that but that doesn't mean I have to like her." I defended.
"Hey I never claimed your cousin wasn't a major drag." He said.
I cocked an inquisitive eyebrow at him. "You two seemed to get along so well I just assumed..."
He cut me off. "Well you assumed wrong. No denying your cousin is hot Emily and in theory she's like the ultimate dream girl but she's kind of annoying in practice." He said. "You wanna hear a secret?"
I nodded. "Sure, why not."
"Come here." He said crooking a finger at me. Oh god, I thought, if this is a dream don't ever let me wake up. I swallowed hard and leaned in so he could whisper in my ear. "I like you better."
A shiver ran up my spine at his words but I leaned back and said as calmly as I could, "well that would make you exactly the second person in the whole world." Just keep breathing Ems, I instructed myself firmly, just keep breathing, fainting will just make it worse.
"Don't tell me, Lily Evans is the first." I must have looked surprised because he said. "James used to take me along on his pathetic stalking sessions and a good three fourths of the time you were with her. That's how I know I like you better then your cousin."
It took me a second to process that. "James Potter follows us places?" I shrieked.
Sirius laughed. "You knew we were there! We weren't like creeping along behind you, crouched down in the shrubbery. Lily used to blow up at James in the most spectacular ways and we'd all get thrown out of the library, surely you remember that."
I laughed, how could I forget?
And having nothing better to do we fell into reminiscing about our friend's more spectacular fights. We talked quiet comfortably after that, I couldn't have asked for a better person to be locked in a bathroom with.
I painted his nails and we talked about movies, books and music. I was surprised and pleased to find we had very similar tastes in almost everything which I am now realizing might not be a good thing because he is twice as attractive to me and just as unattainable.
In fact I was almost sad when we were found, sad that I had to leave this tiny utopia where Sirius and I could be friends and get back to reality.
Oh good the sorting is over. Got to go!
2, September, 8:13, Great Hall,
I have pasted my schedule in this diary so you will better understand what a complete catastrophe this is. Also, on a side note, Gooey Bubble Bombs and Exploding Frisbees have been added the list of banned things (now swollen to almost two hundred items, no doubt a good deal of which are courtesy of Sirius Black and his friends).
9-10: History of Magic (with the Ravenclaws)
10-11: Potions (with the Ravenclaws)
11-12: Transfiguration (with the Hufflepuffs)
12-1: Lunch
1-2: Herbology (with the Slytherins)
2-3: Charms (with the Slytherins)
3-4: Arithmancy (a mixed class)
I mean how they expect me to stay awake in History of Magic at nine o'clock in the morning is totally beyond me! Have the faculty ever met Professor Binns? And Transfiguration with the Hufflepuffs! I mean don't get me wrong the Hufflepuffs are great people but there is always a high risk of ending up with something you didn't want in the first place attached to your body with them.
And don't even get me started on my double period with the Slytherins! Or the fact that my first two periods are with Rose (she's in Ravenclaw). Got to dash, I need to eat something to fortify myself for my impending doom.
2, September, 2: 39, Charms,
Lilly called, she's getting in this afternoon, feeling considerably better. That's good.
Chris Farius' list of the five ten sexiest men ever:
(a note of sorts)
1. John Travolta
Chris: Black hair, sexy voice and a way sexy attitude
Me: Eww, please be kidding, I mean this is the man from Saturday Night Fever, you do know this don't you?
Chris: What about in Grease?
Me: He was annoying in Grease as well. "Oh Sandy! I'm a stupid fucker who is confined by social norms even as I strive desperately to define myself as a rebel!"
Chris: I still think he's sexy
2. Sirius Black
Chris: Do I even have to say anything
Me: Now we're talking. Maybe there is some hope left for you
3. Paul McCartney
Chris: Possibly the last true romantic on the whole planet
Me: I would do him in a heart beat
4. John Lennon
Chris: A little twisted yes but that's part of the appeal
Me: Well as you know I prefer Paul but John has a certain allure about him yes
5. Kevin Knowell
Chris: Sexy in a dark way
Me: KEVIN KNOWELL! As in Kevin sitting-in-the-back-of-the-classroom-slashing-my-wrists Kevin? As in the captain of depressing, hopeless, and too deep to have any meaning humans can recognize poetry? As in the same Kevin who thinks fucking Apocalypse Now is too cheerful?
Chris: No the other Kevin Knowell
Me: Oh that's good, I thought you actually meant depresso-boy
Chris: How could you possibly be so stupid?
I am forced to conclude that Chris was trying to employ a obscure form of sarcasm in an attempt at humor, though I don't see anything funny about the sever chemical imbalance that has made him find Kevin Knowell attractive. Though I can't say that I shouldn't have seen it coming, after all Kevin finds only the weird ones attractive.
For example there is a boy at Hogwarts named Kenny, he's a scrawny kid, a real mouth breather with a peanut allergy so sever that he could go into anaphylactic shock from the tiniest trace of it. I used to fantasize that someday he would cross the Mafia and they would pump him full of peanut oil but apparently Chris had entirely different fantasies.
Or that at least is what he told me late one night in the common room in our second or third year. Luckily I don't think Chris is still infatuated with him, which is good because I'm not sure I could have kept from laughing at the wedding if they ever got married.
Are gay marriages legal?
2, September, 2:49, Charms,
I asked Chris S. if two men could get married.
Chris S: No, sodomy isn't even legal
Me: What's sodomy?
Chris: It's the technical term for doing it in the butt
Me: They have a technical term for that?
Chris: Two actually: sodomy and anal sex
Me: Why do they need two euphemisms for doing it in the butt. Or for that matter why can't they just call it doing it in the butt? I mean I understand it's a touchy topic but most of societies problems could be avoided if we just talked strait about them
Chris: Interesting point but it'll never fly
Me: Why not?
Chris: People like Euphemisms, they're comfortable. For instance if I wanted to tell you that The Chairman was dead, I would tell you he had passed, or that he was put to sleep. I wouldn't tell you that your cat kicked it, that would just upset you more.
Me: Did something happen to Meow?
Chris: No your cat is fine. That was just example
Me: But I'd be so upset anyway it would make minuscule difference how you broke the news to me
Chris: Maybe but it will still never fly
3, September, 12: 37, Great Hall,
I did not get enough sleep last night. In fact none of the Gryffindor girls did really. See last night we found a roach in our dormitory (which I suspect has something to do with all the boxes of sweets Emma gets halfway through before remembering she is on a diet and leaving them scattered about). And after about an hour and a half of panicked jumping from bed to bed Lily finally smashed it with a Transfiguration book.
My Transfiguration book to be exact. And in trying to get the roach er...remains off my book I subsequently got water all over the first two chapters (I didn't think to use magic having just come back from the hols), smearing it into illegibility. So today when I got the class and Professor McGonagall told us all to turn to page five I obviously didn't.
"Miss Stanton is there any reason your book is not open?" He asked, those hawk eyes flashing to me almost instantly.
I swallowed hard, she always made me feel uncomfortable. "Yes Professor I accidentally got water on the first two chapters of my book." I explained meekly.
"Well who will volunteer to share their book with Miss Stanton until we have moved out of the first two chapters?" McGonagall asked the class.
Four hands went up. Lily and the two Chrises had obviously offered but so had...Sirius Black! McGonagall considered the four of them. I could see her thoughts as if her head were transparent, if she put me with any of my friends we would just chat and pass notes so she had no choice but to... "Mr. Black I'm surprised to see you are in an altruistic mood, Miss Stanton please push your desk next to Mr. Blacks and begin reading the text."
Well obviously it was the square root of impossible to concentrate of the history of some spell with Sirius Black so close to me. I could feel him reading next to me and smell the subtle sent of him: soap, leather, mint and something else I couldn't place. It made my knees a little weak.
3, September, 2:45, Charms,
Herbology was evil today. Lucius Malfoy kept flinging Jam-Bam seeds at me all period and claiming it was an accident. Stupid prick. Mostly I managed to duck the crystalline orbs filled with a thick jelly that inflames any skin it touched but one hit my shirt and so my stomach is still a little red and tender.
Not a lot red because, well, I pulled off my shirt quickly enough. In front of most of the Gryffindor and Slytherin seventh years. Only afterwards did I realize what exactly I had done but luckily for me Chris F. was nice (and quick) enough to take off his shirt and give it to me before almost anyone could see. Partly I think because he is a good friend and partly because he's so f-ing proud of his six-pack.
My only consolation is that Malfoy got detention.
To do list:
1) Form Mafia connections
2) Kill Lucius Malfoy with said Mafia connections
3) Stop thinking about Sirius Black
AN: Anyway tell me what you think please of this chapter please! And as always send all comments, flames, reviews, love letters, hate mail, suicide notes or tax refunds to