This chapter is dedicated to Daintress and Kyra Invictus Black as my first
reviewers. :D love you guys!
Disclaimer: Oops! I forgot the disclaimer in my previous chapter. Please don't eat me! *Cringes in fear* I own nothing but the plot. And not even all of that. Most of the pranks are borrowed also, but a few of them are my
own brain-children.
Chapter 2
Hermione woke up the next morning tired but pleased. She had stayed up a couple of hours after the boys had gone to bed, working on the list. Most of the ideas on it were childish and unrealistic, but several of them were workable and she had added a couple more of her own, and now had the list down from its original 172 to a more doable 50. They still might not get completely through it, but it was still going to be fun giving Snape back some of his own. 'Hmm, perhaps Fred and George might even think of a few more things too.I'll have to ask them.'
With this happy thought a very contented Hermione went to breakfast to fill in the boys. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "But, but, Hermione! You can't be serious!" Ron was having a little difficulty believing that follow-the-rules, don't-talk-back-to-teachers, chew-with-your-mouth-closed-for-heaven's-sake Hermione was proposing that they prank, of all people!, Snape!
They were sitting at breakfast in the Great Hall, Harry and Ron both still staring open-mouthed. 'At least Ron can still articulate, that's a good sign. Harry won't be too hard to convince.' Hermione thought. "Oh for heaven's sake you two! You'd think we were facing Voldemort" Ron shuddered but Harry remained unresponsive "himself the way you're behaving!"
"Well You-Know-Who isn't here to get us expelled! He is, and you KNOW THAT HE'S JUST WAITING FOR THE OPPORTUNITY TO."
"RON!" Hermione yelped, clapping a hand over his mouth "SHUT UP! Do you want him to hear?! Look, we'll talk about this later. I have no desire to be expelled so we have to plan this carefully. We don't want to be overheard, so we'll meet in the Room of Requirement after dinner."
Ron growled but said nothing and they finished breakfast in silence. Hermione was finished first and headed off to Arithmancy while Harry and Ron went to Care of Magical Creatures a few minutes later. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
At Dinner
Make casual but loud references to Harry Potter being considered for an Order of Merlin
Slip him a potion that makes him sing everything he says to the tune of 'I've Got A Lovely Bunch Of Coconuts'
Imply that you think Professor Lupin was the only deserving applicant for the Dark Arts job.
Set his robes on fire.
Ponder aloud on the color of his underwear (preferably when you know he's close by, but he doesn't know you know.)
Anytime you catch his eye, mouth something undecipherable at him. Make it look urgent
In the Halls
Sneak up behind him and shout 'Your robes are on fire!'
Go 'Da-da-da-dum!' in a deep voice anytime he passes by or enters a room.
Follow him closely through the hallways. Imitate his stern look and determined walk. If he turns around, stand still and smile sweetly.
Clap noisily when he finishes telling someone off.
'Finite Incantatem' his robes with lots of witnesses. Say you were just wondering if he charmed them to billow like that.
As he stalks by, enquire loudly of your friends if he 'isn't just the cutest little thing you ever did see?
When he looks like he's about to snap at someone, yell, "Sic' em, Snape!" Run.
Whisper to people and point at him, whenever he is likely to see you.
Keep a water pistol handy. Use it whenever the time seems right.
Personal Contact/Hygiene
Hug him. Say you were on strict instructions from Dumbledore to do it.
Draw a lightening-bolt scar on his forehead when he's asleep.
Ask him if he fears the sunlight, or is he just naturally pale
Ask for his autograph.
Approach. Kneel. Propose. Run
Throw your arms around him on random occasions
Enquire of him if he would like to borrow some shampoo.
Tackle him while under the invisibility cloak
Ask him how old he is.
'How's that rash healing up, Professor?
Hide in his office and giggle until he finds you
Skip up to him in the halls, spin him around with you while singing annoying song, flee.
Owls
Owl him long and detailed accounts of your summer holidays.
Send him Valentines in February
Send him Valentines in November
Subscribe to unlikely magazines in his name
Send him a howler. 'Severus Snape! What WOULD your mother think?'
'Pity about that Dark Arts job, a real pity....'
Owl him your results from those awful tests in really girlie magazines. Regularly
Every article written about Harry since he survived Voldemort and an autographed photo of Harry from Colin's collection.
In Class
Tell him you've lost your pet werewolf and has he seen it?
Hide your face with your hands in class. When he approaches remove them and shout 'Peek-a-boo!'
Doodle things on your potions notes about 'that cute Longbottom kid'
Every lesson, quote things he said last lesson. Word for word.
Write long extra-curricular essays about the benefits of good, strong cleansing-potions
When he leans down to inspect your work - Grab your wand, place the tip of it directly between his eyes and shout 'Lumos!'
Transfigure all his quills into giant purple peacock feathers
Ask him at the end of every Potions lesson if he knows a good love-potion
Drool in your potion.
When he leans towards you in class, looming over you and generally looking menacing - reach up, tweak his nose, then twiddle your thumb between your index and forefinger and say 'Got your nose!' triumphantly.
When he's teaching, say 'Delicious' or 'Scrumptious!' after every ingredient he lists off.
Procure some ferret-droppings. Leave a large pile of them in his desk. Insist that Draco Malfoy did it.
Giggle constantly. Give no reason. Continue until he kicks you out of the dungeons.
Should he ever sarcastically enquire if you would like a detention, hold up a hand and say 'I will not be swayed by your sweet words of temptation!
When he calls on you in class, look stunned, stutter and garble some nonsense - then fall out of your seat.
When he leans over your cauldron to inspect your work, reach out and pin a S.P.E.W badge on him.
Bounce up and down with anticipation until he begins each class
At the end of each potions class, leave him a 'report card' detailing how you think he did that lesson. Comments like 'has potential' 'adequate' and 'moderately intimidating' are perfect.
During a quiet moment in potions, leap onto your desk, point at him and shout 'Where were you on the night of February the 21st, 1946?!'
General Annoyance
Learn a charm that makes fabric turn day-glow pink. You know what to do next.
Shout '10 points from Professor Snape!' at random moments.
Tell loud stories about Neville Longbottom's boggart
Become his 'Good-Snape' and 'Bad-Snape'. (Ie. Poke your head over his shoulder and advise him according to which Snape you are. Then switch shoulders and say the opposite. Use a silly voice. )
Transfigure a jack-in-the box's head to look like him. Wind it up and leave it outside his door. Run like hell.
Leave a well-worn and sickeningly cute teddy-bear where it can be easily seen by staff and students. Ensure it has a tag, written in a child's hand, stating that he 'belongs to Severus' and is called 'Chuckles'
Smile at him. All the time.
Charm the walls to sing Christmas carols outside his door. Do not cease singing until dawn. Do this in April
Scheme loudly about him in the library. When you know he's behind the nearest shelf
Refer to him as 'Lord and Master of all things Slimy'
Wolf-howl loudly from a VERY good hiding place
Throw a Mad-Eye Moody at him at random quiet moments. 'CONSTANT VIGILANCE!'
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In the Room of Requirement later that day, Harry and Ron stared at the 'New and Improved List of Annoying Tricks/Pranks/Schemes to pull on Snape' in silence for a good ten minutes. "Well," Harry started, "it certainly looks.promising Hermione. I still think some of these would be hard to pull off, but it has potential.are you sure about this?"
"Of course I am! Think about it! We've put up with that greasy git for six years, we deserve to get some our own back! It's our last year, we're entitled to have some fun! We'll plan it carefully and have plenty of time for studying and Quidditch. What do you say? Harry?"
Harry pondered the list for another moment, then grinned across their small table at her. "Just so long as I'm not the one who has to propose to him." He looked a bit startled at her squeal of excitement but kept grinning, Hermione's enthusiasm was contagious.
Both turned to Ron, Hermione hopeful - Harry confidant. Ron sighed, but then laughed. "Who am I to stand in the way of brilliance? But there is definitely no way I'm proposing to Snape, so if that happens it's going to have to be you Hermione."
"Deal!"
A/N: Ok everyone, what pranks are your favorites? Vote and tell me you're top two from each category and we'll see which pranks get covered! R/R!
reviewers. :D love you guys!
Disclaimer: Oops! I forgot the disclaimer in my previous chapter. Please don't eat me! *Cringes in fear* I own nothing but the plot. And not even all of that. Most of the pranks are borrowed also, but a few of them are my
own brain-children.
Chapter 2
Hermione woke up the next morning tired but pleased. She had stayed up a couple of hours after the boys had gone to bed, working on the list. Most of the ideas on it were childish and unrealistic, but several of them were workable and she had added a couple more of her own, and now had the list down from its original 172 to a more doable 50. They still might not get completely through it, but it was still going to be fun giving Snape back some of his own. 'Hmm, perhaps Fred and George might even think of a few more things too.I'll have to ask them.'
With this happy thought a very contented Hermione went to breakfast to fill in the boys. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "But, but, Hermione! You can't be serious!" Ron was having a little difficulty believing that follow-the-rules, don't-talk-back-to-teachers, chew-with-your-mouth-closed-for-heaven's-sake Hermione was proposing that they prank, of all people!, Snape!
They were sitting at breakfast in the Great Hall, Harry and Ron both still staring open-mouthed. 'At least Ron can still articulate, that's a good sign. Harry won't be too hard to convince.' Hermione thought. "Oh for heaven's sake you two! You'd think we were facing Voldemort" Ron shuddered but Harry remained unresponsive "himself the way you're behaving!"
"Well You-Know-Who isn't here to get us expelled! He is, and you KNOW THAT HE'S JUST WAITING FOR THE OPPORTUNITY TO."
"RON!" Hermione yelped, clapping a hand over his mouth "SHUT UP! Do you want him to hear?! Look, we'll talk about this later. I have no desire to be expelled so we have to plan this carefully. We don't want to be overheard, so we'll meet in the Room of Requirement after dinner."
Ron growled but said nothing and they finished breakfast in silence. Hermione was finished first and headed off to Arithmancy while Harry and Ron went to Care of Magical Creatures a few minutes later. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
At Dinner
Make casual but loud references to Harry Potter being considered for an Order of Merlin
Slip him a potion that makes him sing everything he says to the tune of 'I've Got A Lovely Bunch Of Coconuts'
Imply that you think Professor Lupin was the only deserving applicant for the Dark Arts job.
Set his robes on fire.
Ponder aloud on the color of his underwear (preferably when you know he's close by, but he doesn't know you know.)
Anytime you catch his eye, mouth something undecipherable at him. Make it look urgent
In the Halls
Sneak up behind him and shout 'Your robes are on fire!'
Go 'Da-da-da-dum!' in a deep voice anytime he passes by or enters a room.
Follow him closely through the hallways. Imitate his stern look and determined walk. If he turns around, stand still and smile sweetly.
Clap noisily when he finishes telling someone off.
'Finite Incantatem' his robes with lots of witnesses. Say you were just wondering if he charmed them to billow like that.
As he stalks by, enquire loudly of your friends if he 'isn't just the cutest little thing you ever did see?
When he looks like he's about to snap at someone, yell, "Sic' em, Snape!" Run.
Whisper to people and point at him, whenever he is likely to see you.
Keep a water pistol handy. Use it whenever the time seems right.
Personal Contact/Hygiene
Hug him. Say you were on strict instructions from Dumbledore to do it.
Draw a lightening-bolt scar on his forehead when he's asleep.
Ask him if he fears the sunlight, or is he just naturally pale
Ask for his autograph.
Approach. Kneel. Propose. Run
Throw your arms around him on random occasions
Enquire of him if he would like to borrow some shampoo.
Tackle him while under the invisibility cloak
Ask him how old he is.
'How's that rash healing up, Professor?
Hide in his office and giggle until he finds you
Skip up to him in the halls, spin him around with you while singing annoying song, flee.
Owls
Owl him long and detailed accounts of your summer holidays.
Send him Valentines in February
Send him Valentines in November
Subscribe to unlikely magazines in his name
Send him a howler. 'Severus Snape! What WOULD your mother think?'
'Pity about that Dark Arts job, a real pity....'
Owl him your results from those awful tests in really girlie magazines. Regularly
Every article written about Harry since he survived Voldemort and an autographed photo of Harry from Colin's collection.
In Class
Tell him you've lost your pet werewolf and has he seen it?
Hide your face with your hands in class. When he approaches remove them and shout 'Peek-a-boo!'
Doodle things on your potions notes about 'that cute Longbottom kid'
Every lesson, quote things he said last lesson. Word for word.
Write long extra-curricular essays about the benefits of good, strong cleansing-potions
When he leans down to inspect your work - Grab your wand, place the tip of it directly between his eyes and shout 'Lumos!'
Transfigure all his quills into giant purple peacock feathers
Ask him at the end of every Potions lesson if he knows a good love-potion
Drool in your potion.
When he leans towards you in class, looming over you and generally looking menacing - reach up, tweak his nose, then twiddle your thumb between your index and forefinger and say 'Got your nose!' triumphantly.
When he's teaching, say 'Delicious' or 'Scrumptious!' after every ingredient he lists off.
Procure some ferret-droppings. Leave a large pile of them in his desk. Insist that Draco Malfoy did it.
Giggle constantly. Give no reason. Continue until he kicks you out of the dungeons.
Should he ever sarcastically enquire if you would like a detention, hold up a hand and say 'I will not be swayed by your sweet words of temptation!
When he calls on you in class, look stunned, stutter and garble some nonsense - then fall out of your seat.
When he leans over your cauldron to inspect your work, reach out and pin a S.P.E.W badge on him.
Bounce up and down with anticipation until he begins each class
At the end of each potions class, leave him a 'report card' detailing how you think he did that lesson. Comments like 'has potential' 'adequate' and 'moderately intimidating' are perfect.
During a quiet moment in potions, leap onto your desk, point at him and shout 'Where were you on the night of February the 21st, 1946?!'
General Annoyance
Learn a charm that makes fabric turn day-glow pink. You know what to do next.
Shout '10 points from Professor Snape!' at random moments.
Tell loud stories about Neville Longbottom's boggart
Become his 'Good-Snape' and 'Bad-Snape'. (Ie. Poke your head over his shoulder and advise him according to which Snape you are. Then switch shoulders and say the opposite. Use a silly voice. )
Transfigure a jack-in-the box's head to look like him. Wind it up and leave it outside his door. Run like hell.
Leave a well-worn and sickeningly cute teddy-bear where it can be easily seen by staff and students. Ensure it has a tag, written in a child's hand, stating that he 'belongs to Severus' and is called 'Chuckles'
Smile at him. All the time.
Charm the walls to sing Christmas carols outside his door. Do not cease singing until dawn. Do this in April
Scheme loudly about him in the library. When you know he's behind the nearest shelf
Refer to him as 'Lord and Master of all things Slimy'
Wolf-howl loudly from a VERY good hiding place
Throw a Mad-Eye Moody at him at random quiet moments. 'CONSTANT VIGILANCE!'
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In the Room of Requirement later that day, Harry and Ron stared at the 'New and Improved List of Annoying Tricks/Pranks/Schemes to pull on Snape' in silence for a good ten minutes. "Well," Harry started, "it certainly looks.promising Hermione. I still think some of these would be hard to pull off, but it has potential.are you sure about this?"
"Of course I am! Think about it! We've put up with that greasy git for six years, we deserve to get some our own back! It's our last year, we're entitled to have some fun! We'll plan it carefully and have plenty of time for studying and Quidditch. What do you say? Harry?"
Harry pondered the list for another moment, then grinned across their small table at her. "Just so long as I'm not the one who has to propose to him." He looked a bit startled at her squeal of excitement but kept grinning, Hermione's enthusiasm was contagious.
Both turned to Ron, Hermione hopeful - Harry confidant. Ron sighed, but then laughed. "Who am I to stand in the way of brilliance? But there is definitely no way I'm proposing to Snape, so if that happens it's going to have to be you Hermione."
"Deal!"
A/N: Ok everyone, what pranks are your favorites? Vote and tell me you're top two from each category and we'll see which pranks get covered! R/R!