DISCLAIMER: If I owned Harry Potter or any of the other things I might mention I would be sitting on a beach somewhere sunny and enjoying all my money
AN: All right, I never claimed to be a genius or even anything more then mildly funny (not intentionally of course) so a big thank you to NicolaPadfoot for pointing out that I had made my settings so only people who were logged in could review. I have rectified that and sorry about the inconvenience. Please review!
3, September, 8:32, my dormitory,
I went to watch Lily practice her flying skills and fell asleep in the bleachers. And when I woke up do you know what I found her doing? Practically flirting with James Potter that's what! After six years of telling him (and me) how much of a prat he is now suddenly she's leaning into their conversations and doing her cute laugh at his jokes?
I couldn't hear what they were saying exactly but from the way he was gesturing skyward and the way her eyes were shinning I could guess it was about Quidditch. Lily isn't the best at Quidditch, she's on the Gryffindor reserve team and she tries hard and plays harder but she somehow lacks the innate skill of some...like James for instance.
I thought about marching over there and demanding what exactly they thought they were doing but looking at her face I couldn't. She looked so happy and alive and animated that I couldn't spoil her fun. So I sat on the cold bleachers, faking sleep and watching them through my eyelashes for what seemed like hours until finally Lily sent him off and came to wake me up.
She was so cheerful after that it made me a little sad. Suppose she liked James better then me?
4, September, 11:35, Transfiguration,
I gave Lily one of my strips of bacon this morning to remind her why she likes me so much. "What did you do to it?" She asked.
"Nothing." I said. "My gift to you as your best friend." I stressed the best friend part.
She looked as if she might like to check my forehead for a temperature but wasn't fool enough to turn down free bacon. "All right then, thanks Ems." She said and turned back to her eggs.
And then Chris F. sa
4, September, 12: 09, Great Hall,
Sorry had to cut out there without notice. Sirius was reading over my shoulder. So naturally I slammed it shut and fixed him with my most withering stare but did he get the message? Of course not.
And this is the note he passed me.
Sirius: What are you writing in?Me: My journal
Sirius: What were you writing?
Me: None of your goddamn business
Sirius: You and Lily having issues?
Me: No
Sirius: Is it because she's started hanging out with James?
Me: YOU KNEW ABOUT THAT?
Sirius: James isn't exactly a stealth master
Me: Me may be James but he isn't James Bond?
Sirius: What?
Me:
Nothing
Sirius: Whatever. Yes I knew but it doesn't really bother me. I mean it did at first, especially when he spent time we used to spend together with her, but James would never ditch me and if it makes him happy I shouldn't care right?
Me: I guess so. I mean at least they'd have totally adorable kids that I could spoil rotten
Sirius: Whatever you say
Me: So you going to tell me why you're being so nice to me?
Sirius: I like you
Me: What? Why? What are you talking about?
Sirius: I think you're funny
Me: Is that good or bad?
And that was when McGonagall handed out our pop quiz and we had to deist.
I wonder why he thinks that I'm funny? It's a very odd thing to say. I mean yes I have a sort of weird acidic humor but that's not usually considered an attribute. In fact Lily and Chris F are like the only people who think I'm amusing. Even Chris S. thinks it can get annoying and she's one of my best friends.
Maybe it was one of those stupid jokes where someone goes 'you're funny...looking' and I just didn't get to hear the punch line. But he has been being very nice to me lately so maybe he was serious.
When did life get so damn complicated? Why can't I just lust for Sirius at a distance? Doomed I am to lead a life of complication and drama.
4, September, 2: 29, Charms,
Lilly Evan's List of the Hottest Guys Ever:
1) James Dean
Lily: The first person to tell their parents to fuck themselves, paving the way for generations of rudeness
Me: Amen to that sister!
2) Al Pacino
Lily: He's sexy. Case and point.
Me: He can make me an offer I can't refuse any day
3) Ret Butler (Gone with the wind)
Lily: Just plain yummy
Me: Yeah but Scarlet was really annoying
Lily: But a good dresser
4) The Six Million Dollar Man
Lily: Great show, sexy guy
Me: You are a sick woman
5) Mick Jones (The Clash)
Lily: He's hot and he can play the guitar
Me: Yeah, he's pretty damn cute but I can't believe Paul McCartney was no where on your list
Lily: Just because you have a sick obsession with someone twice your age doesn't mean we all do
Me: Oh shut up, at least I don't get all hot for a robot
Lily: The Six Million Dollar man is cool!
4, September, 9:41, Dormitory,
Lily and I were doing our homework in the library tonight (free from distractions because James was at Quidditch practice) when Rosie came in. She gave me the dirtiest look in the world and continued to shoot mean glances at me the whole time. At first I thought it was because she'd found the copy of Lady Chatterly's Lover I slipped under her pillow but she had a look that went way beyond such childish jokes.
I had seen that look only once before and that was when this schizophrenic kid flipped out and tried to drown me at a public pool. She genuinely wanted to hurt me, badly. What could I possibly have done to arouse such malice?
I mean I am not a bad person. Sure I'm a little vindictive, a little childish and at times I have even been known to be down right vicious but I didn't think anyone really HATED me. Until now. And Rosie is a lot sneakier then you would think from looking at her.
I thought about telling Lily but then decided against it. Why worry her? It wasn't as if Rosie could actually DO anything against me, you know except glare at me a lot.
In other news next weekend is a Hogsmead weekend.
5, September, 11: 47, Transfiguration
Today is a beautiful day. It's a Friday, the sun is shinning and I am wearing my Sex Pistols panties. And all the major crisis in my life- my cousin wanting to kill me, my best friend preparing to leave me for a former enemy and my parents thinking I am of the homosexual orientation- can be counted on a single hand.
5, September, 12:25, Great Hall,
I have pasted the note that Sirius Black slipped me as we were getting let out of Transfiguration in so I won't loose it.
You want to go to Hogsmead next weekend?
In shock. More once I can think.
5, September, 1:16, Girls Lavatory (sort of ditching Herbology),
Told Madame Sprout I had to use the loo.
So there I was having a heart attack, trying not to leap out of my seat, re-reading the note to check for signs of malicious sarcasm and planning what I would wear all at the same time when Chris S. grabs it from me. "What's this?" She asked.
I hate it when she does that but I was to happy to care. "That," I whispered to my three friends, "is my invite to Hogsmead, a la Sirius Black!" Lily and Chris F. both making high squealing noises that dimmed a little when I shushed them quickly. "No, shut up! Don't make a lot of noise he's right over there"
"This is great Ems." Chris F. sighed. "He's so sexy."
"Yeah, you're going to have a great time." Lily assured me.
"You guys, it's not like a proper date or anything, we're just friends really." I said, but I was so flushed and pink and smug I'm sure they didn't believe me.
"I don't think you should go." Chris S. said suddenly, not bothering to keep her voice low.
We all stared at her. "Why?" I finally asked.
Chris S. snorted. "Don't be so nieve Emily. This is Sirius Black we're talking about here. We all know he only wants one thing from you and once he gets it you'll be just another notch on his bed post."
"Don't be such a bitch." Lily said defensively. "Emily isn't like the other girls."
Chris S. looked livid. "Whatever. Emily if you want to keep your head buried in the sand that's your business but you know what I think." And she stormed off.
Lily and Chris F. kept assuring me that Chris S. was just stupid but really all she had done was say what I was thinking out loud. Sirius changed girlfriends about as often as the pope prays and there really was a large possibility that I could end up with a broken heart and a whole head full of crazy from this.
So in light of his reputation, I have decided to do this: I will accept his invitation but I will not sleep with him until either he becomes bored with me or I will have to admit that he is a) superhumanly patient or b) of pure intentions. Slowly I will wear him down.
6, September, 2:47 (in the fucking morning), Dormitory,
I missed dinner, which with hindsight seems like such an obviously stupid thing to do. But apparently when I am asleep I have even less foresight then I do when I'm awake. Before the whole roach fiasco I would have snacked on some of Emma's strewn about chocolate but not now. God damn I am so fucking hungry.
I wish I knew where the kitchens were.
6, September, 5: 31 AM, Dormitory,
So there I was, so hungry my stomach growling so loud I was honestly surprised the rest of the girls weren't awake. When suddenly I realized that while I didn't know where the kitchens were Sirius Black certainly did.
I slipped as quietly as I could to the boys dormitory and that was when I realized that I didn't know which bed was his and didn't dare risk waking up the wrong person. So I stood on the cold floor in my all-together too thin socks and looked around in the half dark for his curly mop of hair.
I narrowed it down to two boys and was just about to just go with the one closest to me when I suddenly spotted peaking out from under the other one's bed the very edge of a sack I recognized as the one the 50 dung bomb Zonko's special came in.
Well that settled it. I strode over to his bed and shook him roughly the by the shoulders. "Sirius get up!" I whispered in his ear.
He turned over looking tried and completely sexy with his hair all smushed down from bed and no shirt. "Emily?" He moaned, his voice a pitch lower then usual. "What's up?"
"I need you to take me to the kitchens." I whispered back, only now realizing how weird and lame this was going to sound and three o'clock in the morning.
"Why?" He asked, but he was already getting up and pulling a robe on (damn him).
"I missed dinner and I'm way hungry." I explained, blushing slightly in the dark.
"Fair enough." He agreed as he pulled a little slip of parchment out of what had to be James Potter's trunk (the fancy broomstick on top was a dead give away) and whispered something to low for me to hear, tapping it with his wand. "All right let's go."
I was curious about the bit of paper at that point but it was tantamount to torture later when he checked it later and then took me "the long way" because he said Filch was patrolling the other corridor. But I bit my tongue and didn't ask, it was killer but I was just glad he was taking me at all.
He took me to a bit picture of a bowl of fruit in a corridor I had never been to before and tickled the pair, which turned into a handle and let us into the huge kitchens. I was all prepared to begin scavenging for something quick and yummy when all of the sudden a house elf seemed to materialize next to me.
"Can Binky get you something miss?" It asked.
"Uh yeah, how about just some PB and J sandwiches?" I asked, a little taken a back by its sudden appearance. "Anything for you Sirius?"
"I could go for some pumpkin juice." He said still rubbing sleep from his eyes.
We sat at this little table while Binky went to make us food. "Thanks for doing this for me Sirius." I said to break the silence as we waited.
"No problem." He yawned. We were silent for a few moments, that late night silence where you're really, honestly thinking about nothing, but finally he spoke. "I like you socks." He said leaning back so he could stare pointedly at where they poked out from under my pajama pants (the exact moment I realized that I had worn the pants with little red hearts- god I hate me).
Now let me, before I describe my socks, explain this: matching socks are for people with a lot more time then me. So one of my socks was a sort of lime green/magenta affair and the other was Christmas themed one with little Santas and a few bells.
I had nothing to say, there is no excuse for such horrible socks, so I just blushed and we were silent until the sandwiches and pumpkin juice came. "So does this mean you'll go with me to Hogsmead?" Sirius asked.
"I'd love to." I said without hesitation. I had made up my mind hours earlier that this was just one of the risks I was going to have to take, after all, it wasn't like I could bring myself to refuse.
After that the conversation flowed comfortably and between us we managed to consume the entire heaping tray of sandwiches. I laughed quiet a bit as he regaled me with stories of the wild late adventures he and his friends had participated in.
It must have been a strange sight, me with my horrible pajamas, him in his robe, laughing uproariously, so out of place in the impeccable kitchen. God he acts strangely for someone who just wants into my pants.
AN: Well I hope you enjoyed this chapter and please review! And send all comments, questions, audition tapes or penis enlargement offers to