Disclaimer: I hope no one actually thinks that I'm J.K. Rowling, because I happen to know that my writing is no where near her standards.

A/N: I have decided to make this a neutral fic SS/HG wise. They will end the school year as somewhat closer than student/teacher – but as friends, with each having a healthy respect for the other. I will also plan on an epilogue for SS/HG shippers that will involve Hermione coming back to Hogwarts a few years after graduation and something developing then. That's the plan anyway. You never know what your characters decide to do sometimes J

Crystal56: Thanks! I appreciate your reviews a lot. I hope this chapter is better than the last one, I wasn't entirely satisfied with # 4. I have an idea for the water-gun prank, but I won't give it away. And Chuckles is in the next chap!

Other Thanks to: SilverKnight7 – for always reviewing; Daintress – for keeping giving me a great 'proposal' idea; and all my other revers who I haven't named. Thanks everyone!

Chapter 5

For the next few weeks they played it casual. Hermione behaved during Monday's detention and Harry and Ron avoided Snape as much as possible. According to Hermione, this was to put Snape off his guard by letting him think that he had scared them off. Which of course he had not. Nope, not scared a bit. They were taking on the meanest teacher in school, a former Death Eater, former spy, and a Slytherin to boot. But they weren't bothered a bit. No, really!

Next item on the agenda: Harry was going to drool in his potion. If anything would tick Snape off, it would have to be that. It was Monday, four weeks and two days after 'the hallucination incident' as they called it. Potions was the first class of the day, and they were already running late because of Harry's shenanigans that morning.

*Flashback*

"Harry mate, get up, we'll miss breakfast." Harry's only response was a groan. "Come on Harry! It's not that bad a task, after all, Mione had to hug him!" Harry pulled his pillow over his head and mumbled something that sounded like 'don' wanna go, he'll kill me'. Ron rolled his eyes and flipped Harry's comforter on the ground. "You're coming, if it's the last thing I do Harry! Hermione's done almost all the work so far and I asked Snape how old he is, it's your turn!" He grabbed Harry's feet and tried to pull him out of the bed. Unfortunately, Harry had a

very firm grip on the headboard of his bed, resulting in a tug of war.

"Fine, be that way! I'm going to go get Hermione!" Ron turned to leave but Harry leapt to his feet at the threat and began getting dressed. "Smart man, I'd rather face an angry Snape than an angry Mione any day. Ready now? We've missed breakfast thanks to you."

"I don't think I'd be able to eat anyway Ron, I might be sick anyhow."

*End flashback*

"Well, Messieurs Potter and Weasley, what a pleasant surprise. Snape sneered as they entered. "To what do we owe this illustrious privilege? Perhaps you got lost without your friend Miss Granger to show you the way? Whatever the undoubtedly important reason, that will be 10 points each from Gryffindor."

The Slytherins all sniggered and Ron hurried to his seat, but Harry stopped and looked at Snape. 'Oh, I am so sick of this man. It is definitely beyond payback time.' Then, with a smirk that could rival Malfoy's, if not Snape's, he said "Actually sir, it wasn't anything important, I just felt that since this class is pretty much insignificant I would sleep in. Ron was late because he was trying to pull me out of bed." Forget the pin, you could have heard a feather drop in the moment of silence that followed this pronouncement. Ron and several other Gryffindors were looking from Harry to Snape with mingled awe and fear, the Slytherins were for once speechless, Hermione had her face buried in her hands and the shaking of her shoulders could have been contained sobs or contained laughter. Snape was surprised for a moment, but he was most definitely NOT AMUSED.

"Well Mr. Potter, since you seem to think this class unimportant, despite your proclaimed hope of being an auror, perhaps you would like to drop it. Hmm?" Harry began to pale visibly. "No? Well then, I suggest one week of detention with Mr. Filch, a six foot essay of the importance of potions through the last one hundred years due Friday, and say, fifty points from Gryffindor." The Gryffindor half of the class groaned aloud but stopped as Snape swung around to face them.

"Now then, today we shall be making a very delicate potion, the Elixir of Grief. A Durmstrang Potions Master, Wilhiem van Homen, developed it in 1656 in the aftermath of the Goblin Wars. The Elixir's cause it to help the drinker come to terms with pain and heartache. The Ministry of Magic restricts the potion because its' uses can be turned toward the Dark if used or made improperly. Both preparation and technique must be perfect. No doubt you will all fail in this assignment, but one can always hope. I expect you to pay attention to what you're doing. If the Elixir is made to weak, it will merely refresh the pain, making it worse than before. If made to strong it will compound the grief, most often leading to insanity or suicide. Instructions are on the board and you may begin…now."

Everyone rushed to get their ingredients from the cabinet and started on their potions. Harry was paying close attention to his potion, but still kept an eye on Snape as he worked. He wanted to make sure Snape saw him drool in his elixir. 'It would be some delicate potion that we work on today. If it were Gnome Repellant or Pepper-Up Potion it wouldn't have made any difference. Sure he would still have thrown a fit, but I wouldn't have got a zero. I am so going to get Ron and Mione for this.' He looked down at his cauldron, everything seem right, consistency was good and color was deep. 'Of course, the time I'm doing a good job I have to ruin it. Argh! Oh well, he's watching me, I think…just about…now!' Keeping eye contact with Snape, he let a little spit ooze from his mouth and dribble into his potion. The effect was almost instantaneous, in more ways than one.

Snape almost literally flew over to him, pushing people aside as he came, bellowing in an incredulous voice, "POTTER! Are you insane? This potion is completely useless now! What the bloody hell is the matter with you? I knew teenage hormones could meddle with someone's mind, but never to the level of salivating all over the place! Do you…"

BOOM! The elixir exploded everywhere covering Snape completely. As he had pushed Harry out of the way and was standing between him and the potion Harry escaped, a few others were hit on the sleeves of their robes, or a little on their face, but Snape was in the direct line of fire. Everyone stared at the now ooze-covered professor. The potion's color had gone from deep blue to a vomit-like green and the texture from smooth and silky to almost cement like. Snape's entire left side and most of his right were unmovable. The only part of his face that could be seen the very tip of his nose and his glittering eyes. He looked like a creature out of the old muggle horror films, as if he had climbed out of a quagmire or perhaps was one of the walking dead. If he had not been amused before it was nothing to this. This was unadulterated wrath. He wasn't even able to talk and people were cowering.

Harry, Ron, and several others were staring at him in amazement. Hermione gasped before taking charge. "Right then, I think that this lesson is over for today so all of you get out of here unless you're helping." The room cleared quickly, Harry raced out the door and Ron tried to but "Don't you dare! Harry James Potter, you come back here! Don't even think about leaving Ronald Weasley!" Harry did not return, but Ron turned reluctantly back towards Hermione. "You will go get Madam Pomfrey please." He brightened, obviously glad not to have to stay in the room, and fled.

Hermione turned toward her statue-like teacher with a thoughtful look on her face. Snape right now didn't frighten her, he might once he was loose, but right now she had a problem to solve and she was going to solve it. "Well, I suppose the first thing to try is Scourgify of course." She pointed her wand at Snape and cast the simple cleansing spell, but it had very little effect. Some of his face was now free, including his mouth - which he then began to use, cursing Harry, herself, Ron, Dumbledore, potion classes in general, teenage hormones, and several other things that she wasn't sure she wanted to know about to oblivion. Or at least, he was cursing them all until she placed a silencing charm on him. Which seemed to set him off again, but at least she didn't have to hear it. Once he had gasped for breath several times he seemed to calm somewhat, but was by no means placated. Hermione was a little pale, but she calmly pointed her wand at one of his hands an concentrated her spell just on that one place.

It seemed to work better that time. Madam Pomfrey arrived a moment later, and between the two of them he was soon free enough to move to the infirmary. Madam Pomfrey escorted him, which Hermione was glad of since the way he was glaring at her she wasn't sure she'd live very long if she was in reach once he could move quickly once more. Madam Pomfrey wasn't helping his mood any by the soft chuckling sounds she was trying to cover.

By dinner the entire school had heard of the incident. Every one in the Great Hall was waiting for Snape to appear. He did not until the meal was almost half over; even then he tried to sneak in unobserved. He did not succeed, but then, you might have had trouble to if a potion had turned your skin and hair completely green. "He should thank me really," said Harry, "it's almost an improvement, at least he has a little color in his cheeks now."

Really it couldn't have turned out better if they'd planned it. Colin McCreevy even got a picture.

~ ~ ~

A very green, very haggard, and very violent Professor Severus Antonius Snape warded the door after himself in his rooms. 'Those little delinquents think that they can best me? I will make them pay for this!' With an evil grin, he began to look through his potion books. 'Oh yes, they will pay. Starting with our dear Miss Hermione. Little chit. Intelligent yes, but incredibly stupid to mess with me.' He pulled down his charms too, you never know, he might be able to find something. 'No more mister nice Snape. I'm a patient man, and I know when I will strike. It's my turn now.' A yawn escaped him… 'After a nap.' Another yawn. 'A long nap.'