"I figured y'all would be living on the Mexico border by now, helping fugitives get their Green Card and teaching Mexican kids how to speak English." Tara almost grimaced, more at her friend's words then the amused tone of voice she'd adopted. She rested her head against the window frame behind her and shook her head.
"Just because Landon and I spent two and a half months in Mexico and take regular vacations there, every other month, does not mean that we'd be living there or helping fugitives get their Green cards or teaching Mexican kids how to speak English," she pointed out, glowering across the yard in the direction of the kids that were running around. "At least Umeko knows only one language and not seven different languages."
Angel made a face and wrapped her arms around Julius' neck, giving him a half hug, though his head was more even with her stomache since she was standing. For once, he responded by putting his arms around her waist and hugging her back. Both of them had gotten to be, strangely comfortable with showing some form of affection to each other since their daughter's birth three years prior.
Angel and Julius had tested out seeing other people for the first year and half of their daughter's life. It became painfully obvious to them bothafter that amount of time that hardly anyone else could put up with them. He'd proposed at the beginning of October, they'd married the following Halloween, and officially became parents to Amethyst.
"Can I help it if Amy's a tape recorder?" she asked, watching the dark haired three-year-old that was romping along with another child and apuppy that would have been equal to her heigth if he'd stood on his back paws.
One of Amethyst's eyes had remained gray while the other had simply darkened until it turned the green of her mother's, though the single oddity made her more endearing. For being so young, she was taller than most children and overly hyper even without the added effects of the sugar filled treats that Remy often gave her. She'd developed Angel's looks outside of the single gray eye and how dark her hair was but otherwise behaved much like her father except for the tape recording.
The three-year-old picked up everything that was said and often repeated it to any adults who were willing to listen or her playmates. Her latest recording had consisted of one of her parents fights, complete with swear words and other languages, namely French.
Tara shrugged. "Maybe you should watch your language around her," she suggested after checking to be sure Logan wasn't around. She seemed to be getting into trouble a lot lately for the lack of cursing that she'd passed onto hers and Landon's offspring.
"Mommy, lookit!" The plaintive voice echoed from across the yard where Amethyst and her puppy, Silas, were running in circles around a tree. Umeko pointed then clapped her hands. "Puppy 'tacks."
"That's nice, sweetie. Why don't you and Amy leave the puppy alone for a bit, okay?" she asked with a smile.
There was a seven-month gap between Amethyst's birth date and Umeko's. Unlike her friend's too early pregnancy and lack of marriage, Tara had learned she was pregnant after their return from their first trip to Mexico, their honeymoon. Eight months later, she'd gone into labor and given birth to the little terror that even now preferred to yell 'ribbit ribbit' rather than speak normal English or any other language.
Umeko's hair was lighter than Landon's but cut until it somewhat mirrored the little Spanish girl off of some cartoon that she'd seen too many times. Big, hazel eyes stared at most people until they were made uncomfortable, though her ribbitting worried more people than the staring. Yes, the little girl had some problems to solve.
"Daddy, can we get another puppy?" Amethyst scrambled up the steps and threw herself against Julius, pulling out a handful of his hair she used as a hand hold to pull herself onto the swing with him. She hopped up and down on the swing before he picked her up. "Can we, can we, can we?" she demanded, kicking her feet several times.
"We already have a puppy, Miranda. I thought you liked Silas?" Julius asked, attempting to stop his daughter's wiggling. It failed and after a moment she'd hopped down and was running across the porch, Silas at her heels, jumping from different furniture bits onto the rails then off again.
Umeko answered instead of Amethyst. "Puppy 'tacks," she announced before holding out one of her hands, closed into a fist toward Tara. "Present, Mommy."
"Thanks, kid. What is it?" Tara asked, crouching to her daughter's level. She blinked when her daughter's hand opened to reveal a rather fat, green toad that immediately croaked several times. "Umeko, how many times do I have to tell you to leave the frogs alone? Just because Uncle Mort is a toad does not mean that all toads are family members..."
"Leave the kid alone, Tara. Who cares if she has a fascination with gathering frogs and keeping them in her closet? Neither you nor Angel were even halfway that normal..." Logan stepped onto the porch, cigar hanging from his mouth, teeth chomping into the end of it. He leaned against one of the posts and looked down at his honary, frog-obsessed yet suprisingly normal granddaughter. "What are you naming this one?"
Umeko thought a minute, scrunching her face up then brightened. "Uncle Mort. Can I have a shoebox, Mommy?"
How did I wind up with the weird kid? Angel and Julius should have gotten the demon but instead they recieved... Her thoughts died off when she noticed the energetic Amethyst take off running across the front yard. She scrambled up into a tree and leaped out, yelling something that sounded remotely similar to 'I am Superman'. Maybe I did get the normal kid.
The little girl never hit the ground thanks to her mother and the use of telekenesis. Instead of hitting the ground, she landed in the midst of Jean's flower bed and killed several different flowers that were in the process of blooming or had already bloomed.
"Umeko, Amethyst, come see what Grandpa Remy has for you," Rogue called from inside before she came outside, dragging Remy and an oversized bag behind her.
"Remy is not Grandpa! Remy be too sexy to be de Grandpa..."
"Get over it, Gumbo. You weren't even that sexy to begin with."
Umeko and Amethyst reacted by rushing across the porch and to the couple. Their identical outfits made the two look like twins rather than just friends who had been having play dates together for the last two and a third years. Bubblegum pink Converse sneakers covered both girls' feet and were paired with child-sized jeans that had obviously been through hell already. Their shirts had been a gift from Jean, black and with a giant, yellow duck in the center of each one, though the ducks had fangs and little horns.
"I still can't believe we survived another Jean-planned wedding or that Nanaki and Kitty both lived through the wedding," Tara said with a smile. She looked up at Landon's arrival from inside; he'd been on the phone, talking to Apocalypse and attempting to. There'd been an answering machine for the last three hours.
Landon nodded, taking a rather large gulp from the beer bottle he held. "I can't either. I never did figure out why you sent him an invitation; I mean, I get that he was your kitty once upon a time and all, but didn't you figure that Nanaki might get a little upset about seeing crazy uncle Vic?" he questioned then held out a full bottle of beer toward Julius.
He took it with a nod then popped the lid off, managing only to get it halfway to his mouth before Angel took it instead. She took a large swallow from the bottle than gave it back after making a face; she settled herself onto the floor, leaning against the swing and his legs.
"Thankies, Grampy." Amethyst brightened and hugged Remy around the neck, kissing him on the cheek and crushing her gift between them.
"Thanks, Roguey." Umeko offered a smile than ran over over to Logan, holding out her prize to him. She hopped up and down several times until he'd taken the gift and turned it over. "Blu'erry Muffin, Grampy Logan," she said as though that explained the blue-haired doll that she held in one arm.
"Mommy, Daddy, lookee what Grampy and Grammy got me! It's St'awberry Shortcake," Amethyst announced, thrusting the vibrant red-headed doll into Julius' face before curling up in Angel's arms. She held the doll, tightly in her arms then looked up at her mom. "Mommy, can we color your hair like St'awberry Shortcake again?"
"No, honey. That was an accident."
Someone honked a horn from down the road then an oversized, black hummer turned into the drive of the mansion, making it's way up the drive and toward them. If the badly done driving could count for anything, they could assume that it was Jax's driving or that Apocalypse had finally figured out what the point of cars were. The first was widely more possible than the latter could ever become.
"I have to go to the store," Logan mumbled then went inside, returning after a moment with a wooden drawer from a desk. He was searching through the drawer, tossing things out and then removed a set of keys. "Time to go to the store. Anyone need anything? I should be back in...a few hours."
"You're not going anywhere, fuzzball. Jax and I have news." Natasha hurried up the steps and onto the porch, stopping to patch Amethyst and Umeko on their heads before continuing across the porch. On the other hand, Jax hadn't even bothered to remove himself from the car and instead still had the radio playing, lowered volume but still playing.
"Good news or bad news? I always do love to hear the misfortune of your generation..." Logan tossed the drawer back into the mansion without ackowledging the splintering of wood that followed it. There was an outraged shriek from inside, Jean, then the sound of footsteps hurrying down the stairs.
Santiago and David emerged moments later, followedafter a few minutesby a tirading Jean. The teenagers didn't even glance her way but hurried down the steps and toward the garage; or at least that had been their original goal. Santiago stopped short at the crowded porch.
"Oh, jeez, did someone die or is it another festive occassion?" Santiago asked, stopping to pat his neice on the head and feign an interest in the doll she held. He talked to her for a moment then straightened and leaned against the porch, watching David who kept casting disinterested glances toward the entire group on the front porch. "We have time for small talk... unless your mom comes out with The Book then we have to leave.."
'The Book' referred to a giant volume handwritten papers that listed every single wrong doing that the two had committed in the last five and a half years. Jean had started the book but allowed others to write in it when the occassions arose, though on some occassions she'd been known to throw the book at them. The amount of papers and photos of different events made the book hurt even more when it made contact with a person's head.
Natasha gave him a withering look. "It's a little of both, you brat. Don't you have stray animals to torment or illegal activities to engage in?" she demanded, turning her attention back toward the others who were watching, expectantly. She blinked then seemed to remember something. "Oh, yeah, I have news."
Amethyst's eyes filled with tears and she tightened her arms around Angel's neck before grabbing Julius' hand in an almost death grip. "You and Daddy are gonna run away to Canada. And I'm gonna be one of those orphaned kiddies that are on the tellyvision," she cried, burying her face against Angel's neck and crying. "And all because Daddy called mommy a bitch."
There was silence for a moment while Angel attempted to calm her almost hysterical daughter down while glaring at her husband. "It's nice to see that you pay attention to when Amethyst is listening to us and when she isn't," she scowled, stroking her daughter's hair and kissing her forehead. "It's okay, sweetie. Daddy and Aunt Natasha aren't running away to Canada.... How many times have Daddy and I said not to repeat what you hear at home?"
Amethyst coughed and then frowned at her hands; she tightened her arms around the doll that her grandparents had gotten her. "Bunches and bunches. 'Amy isn't a tape 'corder and best not repeat what Mommy calls Daddy, or Grampy Remy will kill him and Amy mights become an orphan. Mommy 'preciates that Amy behaves and never says the word damn'," she repeated as a tape recorder again. She beamed at her parents. "How was that, Daddy?"
"Terrific, Miranda. Why don't you and Umeko go play?" Julius smiled, uneasily in Remy, Rogue, and Logan's direction then turned back to his daughter. He gave her a dollar while the others were distracted and moments later, Amethyst had taken off across the yard with Umeko in tow. "Uh....kids say the damnedest things, don't they?"
Amethyst Miranda Kanteon was going to have an identity crisis at five at the rate those two were going. Julius referred to her only as Miranda while Angel often called her either Amethyst, Amy, or simply 'no'. There was no telling how many other names the child had adapted tosince Remy tended to forget her name altogether from time to time.
"What was your news, Natasha?" Tara asked, clearing her throat in a way that made everyone fall silent. She adjusted her position against the window sill and took another drink from her glass. "I think we all need a good distraction from.... the excitement of the dysfunctional family moment that we've been enjoying...."
Natasha beamed. "I'm pregnant."
There was silence then lots of shouting. "You're WHAT?!"
"...the doctor said there's a possibility of twins." Jax walked onto the porch and placed his hands on her shoulders. He smirked at the looks of horror that crossed everyone's face except for Angel and Tara whose mouths were hanging open. "You're going to attract unwanted attention with those expressions."
"Wait a minute...." Remy stared at them a moment then repeated the group question, sounding more shocked than ever before. "You're WHAT?!"
"Pregnant, Rems. You've got to know what that is, considering you have two honary grandchildren and I have a feeling that you probably excercised your right to freedom of activities," Natasha replied.
"With WHAT?!" Logan's mouth had fallen open and the cigar hit the ground. It rolled to the steps then down, thumping to a stop against the ground
"Twins."
"Oh, God, now there's going to be two more? ARE YOU PEOPLE COMPLETLY AND UTTERLY INSANE?" David demanded, glaring at them all then shaking his head. He began to mumble and rant, incoherently.
Natasha shrugged. "No, I'm just pregnant."
"I was sane once then I had kids," Angel commented, earning a nod from the other parents who had children under the age of four.
Jean exited the mansion then, book in hand and an enraged expression on her face. "And just who is pregnant this time? I, personally, think that it's time you people stopped having kids and thought of normalizing the ones you already have!!"
Natasha blinked then placed her hand against her stomache. "I'm pregnant... with twins."
"You're WHAT?!"