Disclaimer: Here's a riddle for all of you: What is cool and not owned by
Priss?
Answer: Well a lot of things but Harry Potter was really what we were
looking for
25, September, 7: 31, Dormitory,
The visit with Kevin and Chris F. wasn't so bad, in fact I actually had fun. Around Chris, Kevin is a totally different person. He's actually pretty funny and they both seem so happy just to be around each other its hard to be anything but happy yourself.
I am so fucking jealous.
But they were actually very polite about being affectionate around me, Kevin even went so far as to ask if I was comfortable watching them kiss before he let Chris just peck him. "Look Kevin, it's like this. I don't mind watching you two kiss any more then I mind watching a guy and a girl kiss all right? But just try not to do it so long I start trying to remember all the organelles in a eukariotic cell okay?"
"Organelles? Eukariotic cell?" He asked looking miffed. I had forgotten that magic born kids didn't have to learn all that shit.
"Don't worry about it." I told him. "Just try to keep it Pg and not Pg-13."
"What?" He looked more confused.
"Under five seconds." I clarified.
Chris, damn him, was snickering at us by this point. "Just give up on it Kevin and start trying to guess what the hell she's babbling about." He advised his boyfriend.
"What exactly are you insinuating Chris Farius?" I demanded.
"Nothing luv, just that you are far to deeply submersed in muggle culture to ever be anything more then a misfit." He explained.
I took offense. "I am not." I denied.
He shook his head. "I wasn't insulting you. Everyone I've ever met thinks it's endearing but you do think in muggle terms, you listen to muggle music, you watch muggle movies and it still freaks you out when the pictures move." He ticked off against his fingers.
"What's wrong with that?" I asked, a little hurt to tell the truth.
"Nothing at all." He looked exasperated. "It's just hard to understand the full implications of everything you're saying if you're of magical descent."
I'm not sure how I feel about that but Chris had said it was endearing.
Walking back to the commonroom Chris told me that Kevin spent every summer until he was ten in France so he can speak French fluently. And sometimes just out of habit he whispers things in French while they're kissing. I said if they got anymore sickeningly sweet I'd hex them both into next week but internally I was picturing what Sirius would sound like speaking French.
26, September, 11. 26, Transfiguration,
It's so strange to have a secret from Lily. I don't know if I can keep this thing about Chris F. and Kevin to myself. I mean I've always told Lily EVERYTHING. I'm not kidding! She knew I started my period before my own mother did! But I promised Chris F. and Kevin to keep it a secret! DAMN ME!
In other news my uniform is absa-fucking-lutly stifling! We're getting some sort of freakish weather and for some reason it's practically hot around the grounds. So weird considering it's September.
Things that Make a Movie Awesome:
1) Nazis
2) Pirates
3) Sean Conery
4) Ninjas
5) Assassins
6) Machine Guns
(please that note that as these things compile they do so exponentially, for example, if you could somehow work in a Nazi ninja pirate assassin with a machine gun played by Sean Conery the movie would totally be worth five stars even if he just walked across the screen once)
26, September, 12: 38, Great Hall,
I found this note addressed to me in my bag which I can only assume Sirius slipped me during Transfiguration.
Emily, Meet me in the commonroom at Midnight tonight. Sirius
Perfect, now I have all day to wonder what that boy is going to pull this time.
Possible Things Sirius is Going to Pull:
1) Try to seduce me (I wish...sort of)
2) Take me to another club
3) Pull some nasty prank on me
4) Try to sacrifice me to the Demon Lord Bearson (hey, I am a virgin after all!)
27, 1: 39, Dormitory,
I had a fabulous time last night.
I admit I did enter the common room with a little caution but to my surprise there were no tricks. He even looked a little relieved that I had showed up. "Is this going to be a bad surprise?" I asked him bluntly.
He chuckled. "No Emily. You'll like it."
"Promise?" I pressed.
"Promise." He assured.
"What's in the bag?" I asked as we jogged downstairs. He was dressed strangely, I don't think I'd ever seen him in shorts but now he had on a pair that feel just below the knees and a loose white shirt. And over his shoulder was a simple canvas bag. I was also dressed in shorts (fucking weather) and a comfortable black tank top with my hair up in a surprisingly neat ponytail.
"You'll find out soon." He promised as we turned into what seemed like a perfectly solid wall and were somehow outside on the grounds. In front of us the lake glimmered a beautiful silver in the moon light. It was a perfect (and romantic) night. Not to hot, not to cold and a lovely breeze was stirring the air.
I got a little nervous when we headed strait for the forbidden forest but I bit my tongue, I trusted Sirius (sort of) and I didn't want him to think me cowardly. But I was not to have to prove my trust in his judgment (or my foolishness) because when we got to the beach of the lake he kicked off his shoes, pulled his shirt over his head and waded in.
I stared at him (and not even just because his abs were really nice). "What are you doing?"
"Come on in the waters fine." He gestured.
"Uh... have you forgotten that this particular lake is inhabited by a HUGE MAN-EATING SQUID!" I reminded him in a harsh whisper, though I had never actually heard of the squid eating anybody. "Or are you just STUPID!"
"Oh him. He's a pussy cat. James and I have done this before I promise." He told me. "Or are you just too scared?" He splashed some water in my direction.
I knew he was just trying to get to me but I let it work anyway. I was scared of that water (que the theme from Jaws to begin playing in my head) and its easier to do scary things when you're mad. I kicked my shoes off and pulled my hair out of it's pony tail. "Scared my ass.." I said wading in.
The water was chilly but somehow deliciously refreshing and I swam out to where he was treading water with determined, even strokes. "A true daughter of Gryffindor." He saluted me.
That made me feel nice. "Someday I'm going to make you watch the muggle movie Jaws and then you'll never get in this water ever again." I promised as we treaded water together.
I felt something brush by my leg. I almost leaped out of my skin but instead I held perfectly still. "Did you feel that?" I asked in a tiny voice.
"Something slipped by your leg too." Sirius asked quietly.
"I knew this was a bad idea." I was so scared at that point I could barely breathe. "Ok on three we'll both swim for the shore..." I trailed off as I realized that Sirius was practically bursting a blood vessel in his fucking brain to keep from laughing.
I kicked him in the shins. "I fucking hate you." I said trying to push him under.
But he was too strong and instead I was the one who got dunked (which really wasn't fair, I mean, he kind of owed me a cheap shot after that stupid trick). We wrestled in the water until we were both worn out and had to swim for the shore. "You know, you're my favorite girl in the world." He said as we lay side by side stomach up on a large, flat rock.
I laughed. "And I haven't even let you do the job on me."
He didn't try to deny his reputation or anything but he did seem a little saddened by my remark even if all he did was shrug. "Not that it wouldn't be nice and all Emily, but I'd rather have you as a friend anyway." He said flicking me in the nose.
"What are you talking about?" I asked. Maybe he held me underwater a little to long or something because I had never before felt compelled to this kind of bluntness but now these questions were rolling off my tongue almost without my own consent.
"You claim you are a lesbian right?" I nodded vigorously at this point. "Well then you've probably never had sex with a woman and so you don't know that sex changes everything." He explained. "And I wouldn't want you to change for anything."
It was possibly the sweetest thing anyone had ever said to me and it should have kicked the cheesy line radar into red alert but he looked right at me and said it with such sincerity a little shiver ran over my whole body. "Me either." I only half joked. "And I'd rather have you as just a friend too."
And the funny thing is, I meant it.
27, September, 2: 31, Dormitory,
Lily asked me today at lunch if I wanted to come out to the Quidditch Pitch with James and her and try flying on James' new racing broom tomorrow. "Are you crazy?" I asked. "Do you even remember what happened the last time I was on one of those flying death traps?"
"That was in the first year mandatory class." She rolled her eyes.
"Yeah! And I sucked so badly that they concluded that I didn't have to do that class anymore. Might I remind you that I was the only person in history to have that acceptation made for them?" I said.
"Come on, I'm sure you'll do better this time." She assured me. "Besides if you can ride behind me and that way you won't have to steer or anything."
"Do better? I'm a fucking acrophobic Lily!" I half yelled. "Remember when my parents took me to New York that one summer? And remember how I never told you I peed my pants when they took me up into the Empire States building?"
She snickered. "You peed your pants?" Then seeing my face she repeated only this time in a concerned tone. "You peed your pants." She said solemnly.
"Yes." I said shortly.
"Come on Emmy....just do this for me ok? I already told James you were coming. Besides if you don't it'll be like a real date or something." She explained. I rolled my eyes. Lily Evans scared of something as ordinary as a date. All I can say is she better not laugh at me next time I flip shit about something stupid. "Please Emmy, please come." She begged, jerking on my arm.
"You're a Jimmy Page short of Led Zeppelin you know that?" I told her.
She shrugged. "But you love me right?"
"But I love you." I conceded.
"And you'll come with me flying?"
"And I'll come with you flying."
27, September, 8: 12, Hospital Wing,
Today I learned that the protection charm I bought in one of those hokey faux pagan stores doesn't work. And you want to know how I found this out? Trial and fucking error that's how. So the day started out all right I guess, the oatmeal wasn't as disgusting as usual, but that was like the last good moment of the day.
For extra good luck or whatever I wore my Sex Pistol panties, the protection charm I told you about earlier and my very favorite pair of jeans that I've had since like the ninth grade and are held together with threads and a little love. So I was feeling pretty confidant but when I got out to the pitch I discovered that James was not alone.
No, standing right behind him looking completely sexy in muggle jeans and a tight white T-shirt (my mouth was actually watering he looked so fucking fine) was Sirius Black. Great, the more people to witness my intense humiliation the better really. Why don't we go get for Cousin Rosie and Chris S, I bet they'd love to come watch this. "Hey." He greeted us.
Lily went up first while the two boys and I sat up against one of the stands listening to James make up things he did on that broom and in my case try not be caught staring at Sirius. "Is this a good sign that she brought you?" James asked as we watched Lily zip back and forth, shrieking with delight.
I shrugged. "Yeah probably. Lily likes being single a lot, it's part of her take-no-shit persona, so even agreeing to do this is a stretch for her. I'm just along so she can claim it wasn't a date." I explained flicking my hair back over my shoulders.
It was nice sitting propped up against the tall wooden structure with them. I felt strangely cool, sitting between the two most popular boys in school and just chatting. A feeling which deserted me instantly as soon as Lily touched down. "Come on, your turn Ems. Get on behind me." Lily pointed at me.
I thought about trying to wheedle my way out of this but I decided not to. I was actually kind of curious to see if I was still terrified of heights. Besides, I thought, it's healthy to face your fears right? How stupid was I.
"You two had better come to my funeral." I told Sirius and James as I straddled the hateful thing.
I pressed my face against Lily's back, closed my eyes and held onto her waist so tightly I was probably crushing her ribs but she deserved it for making me do this. I felt the kick off, that bizarre feeling that my stomach was still trying to catch up and the wind whipping my face and it really wasn't so bad, almost pleasant. But then I decided that it might be fun to enjoy the view.
I looked down and my mind froze, my hands loosened on Lily's waist and vertigo took me. I remember falling and the vague idea that it was going to hurt a lot when I hit but I think I must have blacked out before I actually hit. The next thing I knew I was in the hospital wing with Madame Pomfrey leaning over me. "Oh good, you're awake. You took a nasty tumble." She said without emotion.
I looked down and found that the "nasty tumble" had created a new joint in my forearm. The skin hadn't been punctured or anything but I could see the bone poking up against it. I was felt strangely indifferent about that. "Is my arm going to heal properly." I asked coolly.
"You'll have to stay the night." She informed me.
"Okay." I said serenely. I was a fucking Zen Master.
"But nothing to worry about. I'll have you right as rain in a jiffy." She felt my arm with her fingers (boy did that hurt) and then with a flick of her wand the strangest sensation took me. I could feel the bones slide over each other as they began to reknitt and the muscles too.
Sirius, Lily and James were all admitted in as soon as the primary healing was finished. "Oh Emily. I thought you were dead when you hit the ground." Lily said and when she leaned down to give me a hug I could see the dry tear tracks on her cheeks. "I'm never letting you near a broom again."
"What happened?" James asked.
"I looked down." I explained. "Fucking vertigo."
"I didn't know you had vertigo." Sirius said.
"Good. That probably means you've forgotten about the time I threw up on Madame Hooch when we had to learn to fly in the first year." I said, sitting up and rolling my arm around in its socket. It hurt but only because it was sore.
James began to laugh. "I'd completely forgotten about that."
"Glad you think its funny." I glared at him.
We sat in silence for a few moments. They all seemed to be assuring themselves that I was alive and apart from a broken arm still my usual enchanting self. It made me feel nice that such a thing could give the three of them such a scare.
The three of them left a little while ago for dinner, after a rousing game of monopoly that I won only because I was the banker and it's always easier to embezzle funds then it is to steal them. Honestly, I haven't seen that much cheating since I played Uncle Paul at Scrabble when I was to young to know that Xjaqha wasn't a real word. Fucking amoral the whole lot of us.
But at least they weren't sore enough about loosing not to promising to bring me up generous portions from the great hall (the food in the hospital always tastes a little like Madame Pomfrey laced it with something healthy.)
28, September, 3: 29, Arithmancy,
To every gray cloud there is a silver lining. By telling Madame Pomfrey my arm hurt a little still this morning I was able to avoid History of Magic and Potions but still be released from the Hospital wing in time for lunch. I rule.
28, September, 9: 29, Dormitory
I think my head might just explode.
I was walking back from the detention Professor Dermer assigned me for that picture Lily drew of his head on fire. He had assigned me detention helping Professor Sprout squeeze the pus out of Boobotubers (eww) and so I had a way to walk back from Greenhouse three.
So there I was, walking along all by myself with my head in the goddamn clouds when all of the sudden I ran into Sirius. Literally. Papers and books went flying everywhere and I myself was knocked to the floor but luckily for me he was too so I didn't feel like such a loser. "Oh hello Sirius." I greeted him sardonically, pressing myself up onto my elbows.
"Well I've been meaning to run into you Emily but that wasn't exactly what I had in mind." He snorted, beginning to help me pick up my books. "What are you doing down this way?" He asked.
"Detention." I grumbled. "How about you?"
"Well that's really none of your business young lady but I wouldn't go that way if I were you. I for one, wouldn't want to be around when the Professor Dermer finds it." He smirked. "And the stench might be a little intense." He warned.
I rolled my eyes. I would have bet all the money in the world that he had let loose another dozen dung bombs in Dermer's office. "Well which route do you suggest I take then?" I asked, sitting up so my legs were tucked to one side of me.
But he never answered, because that was when the worst thing in the world happened: Sirius Black picked you up. And worse then that! You were open to August thirtieth, which in case you don't remember was the date I listed the ten sexiest men ever.
AND HE WAS NUMBER TWO!
"You think I'm sexy at its best?" He asked gleefully.
"What?" I asked, still picking my books off the floor. So young, so innocent, so unprepared for what came next.
"2) Sirius Black- just take my word for it, he is sexy at its best" He quoted at me.
I looked up and for a second I was fine, dismissing this as just too embarrassing to actually be happening, but then I processed what he was saying and my heart stood still for a whole minute. My mouth dropped open and I could feel my face turn magenta (so much for denying it).
If I could have evaporated and reassembled in Siberia I would have.
It was funny, squatted down with practically all my secrets in his hands he had never looked sexier. The unbuttoned black robes, white shirt and even the gold and red tie hanging loosely around the second button of his shirt all made my heart beat double time. Or maybe that was the intense mortification.
"Uh...I...you..." I said dumbly.
And that was when he leaned forward and touched his lips to mine. The books fell from my hands. It wasn't like the one after Hogsmead had been. No thoughts, no hesitations.
It's funny but touching lips isn't like touching any other part of the body. You walk down the hall and you knock elbows with five people but no one cares. Even holding hands is different, friends can do that as well as lovers. It was a soft kiss at first, if I hadn't known him better I would have said he was shy, but as I lay back on the cold stone floor it was abruptly more passionate.
That classic line from Hemmingway's the Sun Also Rises when Bill Gorton asks Mike Campbell how he went bankrupt and he says, "Gradually, then suddenly," ran through my head.
There seemed to be no past or future for those moments. It was everything a kiss is supposed to be: tingles were shooting up my spine, there was an explosion behind my eyes that made Chernobyl look like a fire cracker and I swear I could hear the 1812 Overture pounding in my ears.
My knees probably gave out too but since I was on the floor it hardly mattered. Somewhere in the back of my mind it half registered that to do something this well Sirius would have probably had to have done it at least a billion times before.
I don't know how we would have ended that kiss or what would have happened next if just then we hadn't become aware of encroaching voices. If we had thought it through we would have realized that who ever it was couldn't have possibly known what we had been doing (and probably wouldn't have cared anyway).
I know I at least wasn't thinking clearly and apparently neither was Sirius because as soon as I had grabbed my book bag he grabbed my hand and pulled me through what had appeared to be a tapestry into a long dark corridor. As we ran down the tunnel the torches on the walls burst into flames as we approached so we were never in complete darkness but we also couldn't see before us.
However, it didn't seem to matter, Sirius navigated the maze of side tunnels like he'd done this thousands of times until finally he pushed open what appeared to be solid wall and as I stepped out I realized we were right outside the Gryffindor commonroom. "I'll have to remember that." I said, smiling, placidly, my head was still light years behind my mouth trying to process what had just happened to me.
"Oh I wouldn't attempt it. It took James, Peter, Remus and me almost four months to figure out that passageway." He said. "You can get lost very easily down there." I don't know where Sirius finds the time to find and memorize what seems like every single passageways in Hogwarts. I'm in my seventh year and I still get lost regularly wondering about this mad house.
"Well it was nice to see you Sirius." I said, understanding that we had reached a tacit agreement not to talk about the kiss and wanting to avoid the impending awkward silence.
The worst kind of curses are the ones that feel like blessings.
Buddy Holly song (he died very famously in a plane crash). Any of you who have heard that song American Pie (either the original or the Maddona remake) please note that song is about Buddy Holly's death.
I am aware that the melt down at Chernobyl happened in the late 80s but if Shakespere can write chimmnies and jackets into the Roman' Era I'm allowed to just pretend right?
AN: Dun dun dun! What could possibly happen? You'll just have to wait until I post more to find out won't you? Please, please, please, please, please, please review! A huge, huge thank you to all who reviewed and an equally big apology for taking so fucking long to update but when you're me, life is hectic at its best.
P.S. (just a little sneak peak into Sirius' head for all the curious or concerned) Don't worry! Sirius is totally jonsin' for Emily (and possibly in love with her too) but remember how they kind of half promised to be just friends down by the lake? He honestly thinks that's what Emily wants (yeah right) so he's a little bit embaressed about what he considers a slip up.
25, September, 7: 31, Dormitory,
The visit with Kevin and Chris F. wasn't so bad, in fact I actually had fun. Around Chris, Kevin is a totally different person. He's actually pretty funny and they both seem so happy just to be around each other its hard to be anything but happy yourself.
I am so fucking jealous.
But they were actually very polite about being affectionate around me, Kevin even went so far as to ask if I was comfortable watching them kiss before he let Chris just peck him. "Look Kevin, it's like this. I don't mind watching you two kiss any more then I mind watching a guy and a girl kiss all right? But just try not to do it so long I start trying to remember all the organelles in a eukariotic cell okay?"
"Organelles? Eukariotic cell?" He asked looking miffed. I had forgotten that magic born kids didn't have to learn all that shit.
"Don't worry about it." I told him. "Just try to keep it Pg and not Pg-13."
"What?" He looked more confused.
"Under five seconds." I clarified.
Chris, damn him, was snickering at us by this point. "Just give up on it Kevin and start trying to guess what the hell she's babbling about." He advised his boyfriend.
"What exactly are you insinuating Chris Farius?" I demanded.
"Nothing luv, just that you are far to deeply submersed in muggle culture to ever be anything more then a misfit." He explained.
I took offense. "I am not." I denied.
He shook his head. "I wasn't insulting you. Everyone I've ever met thinks it's endearing but you do think in muggle terms, you listen to muggle music, you watch muggle movies and it still freaks you out when the pictures move." He ticked off against his fingers.
"What's wrong with that?" I asked, a little hurt to tell the truth.
"Nothing at all." He looked exasperated. "It's just hard to understand the full implications of everything you're saying if you're of magical descent."
I'm not sure how I feel about that but Chris had said it was endearing.
Walking back to the commonroom Chris told me that Kevin spent every summer until he was ten in France so he can speak French fluently. And sometimes just out of habit he whispers things in French while they're kissing. I said if they got anymore sickeningly sweet I'd hex them both into next week but internally I was picturing what Sirius would sound like speaking French.
26, September, 11. 26, Transfiguration,
It's so strange to have a secret from Lily. I don't know if I can keep this thing about Chris F. and Kevin to myself. I mean I've always told Lily EVERYTHING. I'm not kidding! She knew I started my period before my own mother did! But I promised Chris F. and Kevin to keep it a secret! DAMN ME!
In other news my uniform is absa-fucking-lutly stifling! We're getting some sort of freakish weather and for some reason it's practically hot around the grounds. So weird considering it's September.
Things that Make a Movie Awesome:
1) Nazis
2) Pirates
3) Sean Conery
4) Ninjas
5) Assassins
6) Machine Guns
(please that note that as these things compile they do so exponentially, for example, if you could somehow work in a Nazi ninja pirate assassin with a machine gun played by Sean Conery the movie would totally be worth five stars even if he just walked across the screen once)
26, September, 12: 38, Great Hall,
I found this note addressed to me in my bag which I can only assume Sirius slipped me during Transfiguration.
Emily, Meet me in the commonroom at Midnight tonight. Sirius
Perfect, now I have all day to wonder what that boy is going to pull this time.
Possible Things Sirius is Going to Pull:
1) Try to seduce me (I wish...sort of)
2) Take me to another club
3) Pull some nasty prank on me
4) Try to sacrifice me to the Demon Lord Bearson (hey, I am a virgin after all!)
27, 1: 39, Dormitory,
I had a fabulous time last night.
I admit I did enter the common room with a little caution but to my surprise there were no tricks. He even looked a little relieved that I had showed up. "Is this going to be a bad surprise?" I asked him bluntly.
He chuckled. "No Emily. You'll like it."
"Promise?" I pressed.
"Promise." He assured.
"What's in the bag?" I asked as we jogged downstairs. He was dressed strangely, I don't think I'd ever seen him in shorts but now he had on a pair that feel just below the knees and a loose white shirt. And over his shoulder was a simple canvas bag. I was also dressed in shorts (fucking weather) and a comfortable black tank top with my hair up in a surprisingly neat ponytail.
"You'll find out soon." He promised as we turned into what seemed like a perfectly solid wall and were somehow outside on the grounds. In front of us the lake glimmered a beautiful silver in the moon light. It was a perfect (and romantic) night. Not to hot, not to cold and a lovely breeze was stirring the air.
I got a little nervous when we headed strait for the forbidden forest but I bit my tongue, I trusted Sirius (sort of) and I didn't want him to think me cowardly. But I was not to have to prove my trust in his judgment (or my foolishness) because when we got to the beach of the lake he kicked off his shoes, pulled his shirt over his head and waded in.
I stared at him (and not even just because his abs were really nice). "What are you doing?"
"Come on in the waters fine." He gestured.
"Uh... have you forgotten that this particular lake is inhabited by a HUGE MAN-EATING SQUID!" I reminded him in a harsh whisper, though I had never actually heard of the squid eating anybody. "Or are you just STUPID!"
"Oh him. He's a pussy cat. James and I have done this before I promise." He told me. "Or are you just too scared?" He splashed some water in my direction.
I knew he was just trying to get to me but I let it work anyway. I was scared of that water (que the theme from Jaws to begin playing in my head) and its easier to do scary things when you're mad. I kicked my shoes off and pulled my hair out of it's pony tail. "Scared my ass.." I said wading in.
The water was chilly but somehow deliciously refreshing and I swam out to where he was treading water with determined, even strokes. "A true daughter of Gryffindor." He saluted me.
That made me feel nice. "Someday I'm going to make you watch the muggle movie Jaws and then you'll never get in this water ever again." I promised as we treaded water together.
I felt something brush by my leg. I almost leaped out of my skin but instead I held perfectly still. "Did you feel that?" I asked in a tiny voice.
"Something slipped by your leg too." Sirius asked quietly.
"I knew this was a bad idea." I was so scared at that point I could barely breathe. "Ok on three we'll both swim for the shore..." I trailed off as I realized that Sirius was practically bursting a blood vessel in his fucking brain to keep from laughing.
I kicked him in the shins. "I fucking hate you." I said trying to push him under.
But he was too strong and instead I was the one who got dunked (which really wasn't fair, I mean, he kind of owed me a cheap shot after that stupid trick). We wrestled in the water until we were both worn out and had to swim for the shore. "You know, you're my favorite girl in the world." He said as we lay side by side stomach up on a large, flat rock.
I laughed. "And I haven't even let you do the job on me."
He didn't try to deny his reputation or anything but he did seem a little saddened by my remark even if all he did was shrug. "Not that it wouldn't be nice and all Emily, but I'd rather have you as a friend anyway." He said flicking me in the nose.
"What are you talking about?" I asked. Maybe he held me underwater a little to long or something because I had never before felt compelled to this kind of bluntness but now these questions were rolling off my tongue almost without my own consent.
"You claim you are a lesbian right?" I nodded vigorously at this point. "Well then you've probably never had sex with a woman and so you don't know that sex changes everything." He explained. "And I wouldn't want you to change for anything."
It was possibly the sweetest thing anyone had ever said to me and it should have kicked the cheesy line radar into red alert but he looked right at me and said it with such sincerity a little shiver ran over my whole body. "Me either." I only half joked. "And I'd rather have you as just a friend too."
And the funny thing is, I meant it.
27, September, 2: 31, Dormitory,
Lily asked me today at lunch if I wanted to come out to the Quidditch Pitch with James and her and try flying on James' new racing broom tomorrow. "Are you crazy?" I asked. "Do you even remember what happened the last time I was on one of those flying death traps?"
"That was in the first year mandatory class." She rolled her eyes.
"Yeah! And I sucked so badly that they concluded that I didn't have to do that class anymore. Might I remind you that I was the only person in history to have that acceptation made for them?" I said.
"Come on, I'm sure you'll do better this time." She assured me. "Besides if you can ride behind me and that way you won't have to steer or anything."
"Do better? I'm a fucking acrophobic Lily!" I half yelled. "Remember when my parents took me to New York that one summer? And remember how I never told you I peed my pants when they took me up into the Empire States building?"
She snickered. "You peed your pants?" Then seeing my face she repeated only this time in a concerned tone. "You peed your pants." She said solemnly.
"Yes." I said shortly.
"Come on Emmy....just do this for me ok? I already told James you were coming. Besides if you don't it'll be like a real date or something." She explained. I rolled my eyes. Lily Evans scared of something as ordinary as a date. All I can say is she better not laugh at me next time I flip shit about something stupid. "Please Emmy, please come." She begged, jerking on my arm.
"You're a Jimmy Page short of Led Zeppelin you know that?" I told her.
She shrugged. "But you love me right?"
"But I love you." I conceded.
"And you'll come with me flying?"
"And I'll come with you flying."
27, September, 8: 12, Hospital Wing,
Today I learned that the protection charm I bought in one of those hokey faux pagan stores doesn't work. And you want to know how I found this out? Trial and fucking error that's how. So the day started out all right I guess, the oatmeal wasn't as disgusting as usual, but that was like the last good moment of the day.
For extra good luck or whatever I wore my Sex Pistol panties, the protection charm I told you about earlier and my very favorite pair of jeans that I've had since like the ninth grade and are held together with threads and a little love. So I was feeling pretty confidant but when I got out to the pitch I discovered that James was not alone.
No, standing right behind him looking completely sexy in muggle jeans and a tight white T-shirt (my mouth was actually watering he looked so fucking fine) was Sirius Black. Great, the more people to witness my intense humiliation the better really. Why don't we go get for Cousin Rosie and Chris S, I bet they'd love to come watch this. "Hey." He greeted us.
Lily went up first while the two boys and I sat up against one of the stands listening to James make up things he did on that broom and in my case try not be caught staring at Sirius. "Is this a good sign that she brought you?" James asked as we watched Lily zip back and forth, shrieking with delight.
I shrugged. "Yeah probably. Lily likes being single a lot, it's part of her take-no-shit persona, so even agreeing to do this is a stretch for her. I'm just along so she can claim it wasn't a date." I explained flicking my hair back over my shoulders.
It was nice sitting propped up against the tall wooden structure with them. I felt strangely cool, sitting between the two most popular boys in school and just chatting. A feeling which deserted me instantly as soon as Lily touched down. "Come on, your turn Ems. Get on behind me." Lily pointed at me.
I thought about trying to wheedle my way out of this but I decided not to. I was actually kind of curious to see if I was still terrified of heights. Besides, I thought, it's healthy to face your fears right? How stupid was I.
"You two had better come to my funeral." I told Sirius and James as I straddled the hateful thing.
I pressed my face against Lily's back, closed my eyes and held onto her waist so tightly I was probably crushing her ribs but she deserved it for making me do this. I felt the kick off, that bizarre feeling that my stomach was still trying to catch up and the wind whipping my face and it really wasn't so bad, almost pleasant. But then I decided that it might be fun to enjoy the view.
I looked down and my mind froze, my hands loosened on Lily's waist and vertigo took me. I remember falling and the vague idea that it was going to hurt a lot when I hit but I think I must have blacked out before I actually hit. The next thing I knew I was in the hospital wing with Madame Pomfrey leaning over me. "Oh good, you're awake. You took a nasty tumble." She said without emotion.
I looked down and found that the "nasty tumble" had created a new joint in my forearm. The skin hadn't been punctured or anything but I could see the bone poking up against it. I was felt strangely indifferent about that. "Is my arm going to heal properly." I asked coolly.
"You'll have to stay the night." She informed me.
"Okay." I said serenely. I was a fucking Zen Master.
"But nothing to worry about. I'll have you right as rain in a jiffy." She felt my arm with her fingers (boy did that hurt) and then with a flick of her wand the strangest sensation took me. I could feel the bones slide over each other as they began to reknitt and the muscles too.
Sirius, Lily and James were all admitted in as soon as the primary healing was finished. "Oh Emily. I thought you were dead when you hit the ground." Lily said and when she leaned down to give me a hug I could see the dry tear tracks on her cheeks. "I'm never letting you near a broom again."
"What happened?" James asked.
"I looked down." I explained. "Fucking vertigo."
"I didn't know you had vertigo." Sirius said.
"Good. That probably means you've forgotten about the time I threw up on Madame Hooch when we had to learn to fly in the first year." I said, sitting up and rolling my arm around in its socket. It hurt but only because it was sore.
James began to laugh. "I'd completely forgotten about that."
"Glad you think its funny." I glared at him.
We sat in silence for a few moments. They all seemed to be assuring themselves that I was alive and apart from a broken arm still my usual enchanting self. It made me feel nice that such a thing could give the three of them such a scare.
The three of them left a little while ago for dinner, after a rousing game of monopoly that I won only because I was the banker and it's always easier to embezzle funds then it is to steal them. Honestly, I haven't seen that much cheating since I played Uncle Paul at Scrabble when I was to young to know that Xjaqha wasn't a real word. Fucking amoral the whole lot of us.
But at least they weren't sore enough about loosing not to promising to bring me up generous portions from the great hall (the food in the hospital always tastes a little like Madame Pomfrey laced it with something healthy.)
28, September, 3: 29, Arithmancy,
To every gray cloud there is a silver lining. By telling Madame Pomfrey my arm hurt a little still this morning I was able to avoid History of Magic and Potions but still be released from the Hospital wing in time for lunch. I rule.
28, September, 9: 29, Dormitory
I think my head might just explode.
I was walking back from the detention Professor Dermer assigned me for that picture Lily drew of his head on fire. He had assigned me detention helping Professor Sprout squeeze the pus out of Boobotubers (eww) and so I had a way to walk back from Greenhouse three.
So there I was, walking along all by myself with my head in the goddamn clouds when all of the sudden I ran into Sirius. Literally. Papers and books went flying everywhere and I myself was knocked to the floor but luckily for me he was too so I didn't feel like such a loser. "Oh hello Sirius." I greeted him sardonically, pressing myself up onto my elbows.
"Well I've been meaning to run into you Emily but that wasn't exactly what I had in mind." He snorted, beginning to help me pick up my books. "What are you doing down this way?" He asked.
"Detention." I grumbled. "How about you?"
"Well that's really none of your business young lady but I wouldn't go that way if I were you. I for one, wouldn't want to be around when the Professor Dermer finds it." He smirked. "And the stench might be a little intense." He warned.
I rolled my eyes. I would have bet all the money in the world that he had let loose another dozen dung bombs in Dermer's office. "Well which route do you suggest I take then?" I asked, sitting up so my legs were tucked to one side of me.
But he never answered, because that was when the worst thing in the world happened: Sirius Black picked you up. And worse then that! You were open to August thirtieth, which in case you don't remember was the date I listed the ten sexiest men ever.
AND HE WAS NUMBER TWO!
"You think I'm sexy at its best?" He asked gleefully.
"What?" I asked, still picking my books off the floor. So young, so innocent, so unprepared for what came next.
"2) Sirius Black- just take my word for it, he is sexy at its best" He quoted at me.
I looked up and for a second I was fine, dismissing this as just too embarrassing to actually be happening, but then I processed what he was saying and my heart stood still for a whole minute. My mouth dropped open and I could feel my face turn magenta (so much for denying it).
If I could have evaporated and reassembled in Siberia I would have.
It was funny, squatted down with practically all my secrets in his hands he had never looked sexier. The unbuttoned black robes, white shirt and even the gold and red tie hanging loosely around the second button of his shirt all made my heart beat double time. Or maybe that was the intense mortification.
"Uh...I...you..." I said dumbly.
And that was when he leaned forward and touched his lips to mine. The books fell from my hands. It wasn't like the one after Hogsmead had been. No thoughts, no hesitations.
It's funny but touching lips isn't like touching any other part of the body. You walk down the hall and you knock elbows with five people but no one cares. Even holding hands is different, friends can do that as well as lovers. It was a soft kiss at first, if I hadn't known him better I would have said he was shy, but as I lay back on the cold stone floor it was abruptly more passionate.
That classic line from Hemmingway's the Sun Also Rises when Bill Gorton asks Mike Campbell how he went bankrupt and he says, "Gradually, then suddenly," ran through my head.
There seemed to be no past or future for those moments. It was everything a kiss is supposed to be: tingles were shooting up my spine, there was an explosion behind my eyes that made Chernobyl look like a fire cracker and I swear I could hear the 1812 Overture pounding in my ears.
My knees probably gave out too but since I was on the floor it hardly mattered. Somewhere in the back of my mind it half registered that to do something this well Sirius would have probably had to have done it at least a billion times before.
I don't know how we would have ended that kiss or what would have happened next if just then we hadn't become aware of encroaching voices. If we had thought it through we would have realized that who ever it was couldn't have possibly known what we had been doing (and probably wouldn't have cared anyway).
I know I at least wasn't thinking clearly and apparently neither was Sirius because as soon as I had grabbed my book bag he grabbed my hand and pulled me through what had appeared to be a tapestry into a long dark corridor. As we ran down the tunnel the torches on the walls burst into flames as we approached so we were never in complete darkness but we also couldn't see before us.
However, it didn't seem to matter, Sirius navigated the maze of side tunnels like he'd done this thousands of times until finally he pushed open what appeared to be solid wall and as I stepped out I realized we were right outside the Gryffindor commonroom. "I'll have to remember that." I said, smiling, placidly, my head was still light years behind my mouth trying to process what had just happened to me.
"Oh I wouldn't attempt it. It took James, Peter, Remus and me almost four months to figure out that passageway." He said. "You can get lost very easily down there." I don't know where Sirius finds the time to find and memorize what seems like every single passageways in Hogwarts. I'm in my seventh year and I still get lost regularly wondering about this mad house.
"Well it was nice to see you Sirius." I said, understanding that we had reached a tacit agreement not to talk about the kiss and wanting to avoid the impending awkward silence.
The worst kind of curses are the ones that feel like blessings.
Buddy Holly song (he died very famously in a plane crash). Any of you who have heard that song American Pie (either the original or the Maddona remake) please note that song is about Buddy Holly's death.
I am aware that the melt down at Chernobyl happened in the late 80s but if Shakespere can write chimmnies and jackets into the Roman' Era I'm allowed to just pretend right?
AN: Dun dun dun! What could possibly happen? You'll just have to wait until I post more to find out won't you? Please, please, please, please, please, please review! A huge, huge thank you to all who reviewed and an equally big apology for taking so fucking long to update but when you're me, life is hectic at its best.
P.S. (just a little sneak peak into Sirius' head for all the curious or concerned) Don't worry! Sirius is totally jonsin' for Emily (and possibly in love with her too) but remember how they kind of half promised to be just friends down by the lake? He honestly thinks that's what Emily wants (yeah right) so he's a little bit embaressed about what he considers a slip up.