A/N: in this chappie each section will be preceded by the name of the person/s it is occurring to. Teehee.

Jenneva/Carolyn

After 5 minutes of walking, Jenneva came upon Carolyn and Sam. Squealing, Jen ran up to Carolyn and gave he a big hug. Carolyn looked around uncomfortably.

"I'm glad you're okay, where's Kelsey?" asked a concerned Jenneva (caffeine really does turn her into a human)

"I dunno, probably with her elvish prince. Lets go, I want to meet Faramir."

"Who is Faramir?" asked Frodo.

"My cat," said Carolyn quickly. A little too quickly...seeing as how she had a cat back in Michigan named Frodo...

"Oh." Frodo sounded disappointed for some strange reason. Strange. Strange indeed. Who knows what goes on in the mind of a hobbit? But I digress, back to the story.

So Frodo started off towards the boat. Sam started to follow, which lead to Sam almost drowning. A/N: If you haven't seen the movie, poo on you. I'm not going to explain it because I don't want to type it out. Except now I've types enough to have made it worth the effort...I'm crazy, sorry.

So Carolyn and Jenneva dove in to save Sam with a lifeguarding technique learned from Kelsey. Unfortunately, they can't swim either. So Frodo ended up hauling a hobbit and two humans into the little boat. Wow, he's strong (hobbit wheaties). Frodo and Sam had their touching discussion about never parting, while Carolyn sobbed over her hair. Now it was wet. And she HATES having her hair wet. Jenneva was also afraid of water, since she had sunk like a rock (she has no body fat). So off the four companions went, paddling off into the sunset...

Kelsey/Merry/Pippin

Kelsey regained consciousness once again on the back of a wooly icky smelly orc. Sighing, she considered whether getting knocked out again was worth the effort. Deciding it wasn't, she tore off the pin to her cloak, ready to leave it for the man/elf/dwarf to find. But then she started to think.

It really is a preety pin, and Merry slash Pippin will spit theirs out for them to find. It really is quite pretty, and Merry slash Pippin never did get his back...I think ill just keep it. I wouldn't want to lose it. It's too pretty. And think of how much I could sell it for on ebay. I'm rambling, aren't I? Sorry...

So Kelsey resolved to keep her pin, only now it was in her mouth. She left something else for the guys to find. After about an hour, Kelsey felt something prick her tongue quite painfully. She stuck out her tongue to find it had been pierced by the brooch/pin thing. Her eyes widened, and she almost screamed before realizing screaming would get her running or a knock on the head. So she kept quiet, contemplating how she would look with a tongue ring.

Suddenly all of the orcs stopped, and Kelsey was dumped unceremoniously on the ground. She saw Merry and Pippin a few yards away, and started to crawl towards them. Merry and Pippin just stared at her when she reached them.

"What?"

"You have a...hole in your tongue..." said Pippin uneasily."

"Yeah I know, doesn't it rock?"

Before either of the hobbits could answer, the orcs started talking about eating them. Merry and Pippin were off the menu, as the leader orc guy pointed out. Unfortunately, the same could not be said about Kelsey. The orcs were looking at her hungrily.

"Uh, so guys, have you ever considered vegetarianism?"

"What's that?"

"Well, to preserve the welfare of all mammals and quadrupeds, the consumer refrains from ingestion of any creature on the list." Kelsey had used lots of big words on purpose, hoping to confuse the orcs. They looked at her considerably interested.

"What is your position on the consumption of fish and sea creatures for a vegetarian?"

Kelsey was stunned. The orcs wanted to have a philosophical discussion? Strange...

Luckily, Kelsey was saved by a spear stabbing the orc who had asked the bizarre question. She ducked for cover, but was immediately grabbed by the waist and hauled upwards. She screamed, thinking she was going to die, and swung her arms around till she felt her fist connect with what felt like a jaw.

"Fear not, milady, I will not hurt you," a man said stiffly, probably because his jaw was stiff from her punch.

Kelsey nearly sobbed in relief. A human had pulled her onto his horse and was heading away from the battle. Kelsey started to get suspicious when he dismounted in a nearby clearing. Men were horny after all. But all he did was help her down, before he mounted and headed back towards the battle with a warning to stay put. Kelsey did stay put, until the same rider cam to get her.

"Milady, the battle is won. My name is éomer. May I inquire as to yours?"

"Oh. I'm Kelsey. Thanks for saving me. Sorry for hitting you, its just a defense mechanism," Kelsey said abashedly.

"Ah."

Awkward silence.

Aragorn/Legolas/Gimli

"Look, a hobbit lost his pin. They went that way. Lets go."

"Aragorn, how do you know it was a hobbit lost that pin?"

"Legolas, do you think Kelsey would leave anything shiny or pretty behind?"

"Oh, right."

"I've found something...interesting," said Gimli in a strange voice.

Aragorn and Legolas looked over to where the dwarf was. They nodded sagely. They were going in the right direction. Gimli was holding a condom, which had become Kelsey's trademark.