Disclaimer: Anything you recognize I probably don't own
AN: I ADDED SOME ON THE END SO IF YOU READ THIS CHAPTER WITHIN THE FIRST TWO DAYS IT WAS PUBLISHED YOU SHOULD RE-READ THE ENDING! OTHERWISE THE NEXT CHAPTER WON'T MAKE MUCH SENSE!
7, October, 9: 40, Commonroom,
Lily, James, Sirius and I are playing team scrabble right now (girls against boys) and I am happy to report that we are pummeling the two of them. Mostly because we decided that swear words are legal and Lily can make up the most convincing sounding nonsense in that department.
No development in the Sirius department.
8, October, 2: 41, Charms,
I just got back from the bathroom and the most humiliating thing happened to me while I was in there. I went in and to my surprise Chris S and Rosie were in their washing their hands and as I walked by to get to one of the stalls Chris gave me this really nasty look. It was exactly the same look Rosie gives me everytime she realizes how much of a freak I am (almost every time she looks at me).
And it occurred to me just then that I had done the a thing I had sworn not to from the very first moment I realized that all my friends and were beginning to be attracted to the opposite sex: I had lost a friend over a boy. It seemed like Chris S.'s and my friendship had just disintegrated over next to nothing and now we were almost enemies.
How had that happened? Why had that happened? If I hadn't liked James or Kevin I would have told Lily or Chris about it but I wouldn't have issued the ultimatum I had apparently gotten from Chris S. I wouldn't have made them chose between the two of us. But there it was and now I had burned the bridge between us and I didn't even have Sirius in the bargain.
"Chris." I said almost before I had finished thinking. "I'm really sorry about everything I did."
She looked like for a moment she was going to let me bury the hatchet but then she seemed to remember who was right next to her and rolled her eyes. "Yeah whatever." She said and began to brush her hair. Rosie laughed and I felt sick to my stomach but I continued. I must be a sado-masochist or something.
"I'm serious Chris. I'm really serious." I said. "Is there anything I can do to make it up to you?" I was practically pleading at this point and it really disgusted me but I was so sad about what had happened.
"Yeah actually there is." Chris said in her meanest voice.
"What?" I asked knowing she was just going to say something really personal and vicious.
"You can make That Boy fall out of love with you." She said in a sarcastic voice but the look in her eyes told me she was completely serious.
I didn't have to ask who That Boy was. "He's not in love with me." I protested.
"You would say that." She said meanly and flounced off.
10, October, 12: 38, Great Hall,
To the Hogwart's school body:
In honor of the twelve hundredth birthday of our beautiful school the Head Boy and Head Girl along with the Prefects have elected to hold a celebration ball on the 31st of October. Students below fifth year may come only if invited by an older student. Costume trousseau is mandatory.
Albus Dumbledoor
More later.
10, October, 10: 52, Dormitory,
No one can seem to shut up about this ball. I mean don't get me wrong I'm pretty excited myself but still...can we talk about something ELSE? Maybe I'm just disappointed and bitter because the chance of everything working out just the way I want it to is like the square root of zero and everyone else seems to be getting exactly what they want.
I mean after we all looked up the word trousseau Lily and James spent all of lunch whispering together about what they're planning to wear and refusing in this really annoying superior voice to tell anyone what they're planning to wear.
Chris and Kevin are really excited too. At first they were really depressed because they didn't see any way they could possibly go together but that was until yours truly stepped in. I'm not even sure where this burst of brilliance came from but I hunted them down in Moaning Mrytle's bathroom.
"Hey Chris you want to go to the ball with me?" I asked.
He nodded. "Thanks Em."
"Hey Kevin, you want to go to the ball with me?" I asked, turning to the other ball.
It took them about five seconds to realize what I was up to but then Chris let out this shriek and grabbed me up in this bone crushing hug. And Kevin was laughing in this really relieved way. "You are the sweetest girl I know." He told me.
I shook my head. "This way you guys aren't gay. Just my friends."
"Emily if I wasn't a complete fag I would ask you to marry me." Chris said giving me a big kiss on the cheek. "Because I'll never find a better woman." Well that made me feel good.
Deus ex Machina I'm telling you.
Most people will be buying their costume from either the costume shop in Hogsmead or the one in the muggle village a few miles away but Chris is an awesome clothing designer/maker so he and Kevin decided to do our costumes as a little couples project. "I can't sow worth a damn but I can learn to pin things or something." Kevin shrugged.
But they were both so happy with me that they completely exempted me from any costume making/planning sessions. In fact they decided to not even tell me what I was going to be wearing. Which is so annoying but I guess better then having to try to pick out fabric.
Lily says what I did with Chris and Kevin was selfless because I desperately want to go to this dance with a certain bestfriend of her boyfriend. I decided to just let her think that because I didn't feel like divulging that the real reason was that I wasn't exactly optimistic about my chances of getting asked by that certain person. I mean don't get me wrong, Kevin, Chris and I are going to have a great time but neither of them are likely to sweep me off my feet with an incredible kiss like Sirius might have.
I wonder what everyone will wear. I hope Sirius' outfit includes really tight pants.
11, October, 8: 31, Moaning Myrtle's Bathroom,
Lily and I got up extra super early because we're painting pro-James T-shirts with Madame Greenbaum's super fast drying paint for this afternoon's Quidditch match against Ravenclaw and we have to be done and cleaned up in time for breakfast otherwise he might suspect us.
Lily's says "mess with the best, die with the rest." And I am pretty sure she stole that from her local highschool's lacrosse team but I have decided not to comment because Lily is already in her pre-game rage. Mine says "Who is more foolish: the fool or the Ravenclaws who follow him?"
"I don't see how that is supportive of our team." Lily pointed out after we were done.
I shrugged. "I am saying something demeaning about the other team. And if nothing else it is a sage piece of age old Jedi advise that you and every one else would do well to think on. Even if George Lucas probably stole from some philosophy book by some dead white guy." I explained.
"You're a weird kid." She said and made me let her draw a very graphic image of her boyfriend eviscerating the Ravenclaw seeker with his broom.
And she says I'm the weird one.
12, October, 4: 55, Commonroom,
Gryfindor won.
With that out of the way, exactly three people got the joke on the back of my shirt (one Gryfindor third year and two Ravenclaws sixth years, I can't be sure about them but they did give me the finger so I can only assume). Most people thought it was really deep and that I had made it up or gave me funny looks.
We're have a party in the commonroom right now and I can barely think for all the loud shrieking and the occasional crash. Mostly what I'm trying to do right now is stay away from James because he's all sweaty and addrenalized from a really spectacular chase right now and can't stop making out with my best friend which is all a little traumatizing.
Besides all these simpering fifth years keep trying to congregate around him and watching them try to feel his muscles is a little nauseating. And I so don't want to be there when Lily finally flips shit. So I'm curled up next to Chris and we're watching the unfolding of Remus and Peter's game (I'm periodically shouting encouragement at Remus and Chris is at Peter) of exploding snap while I beg him to tell me what he and Kevin are planning for my ball attire.
It's actually quite nice because I can feel Chris' heart beat, stomach rumbles and his voice I'm pressed up so close to him, which you wouldn't think would be soothing but it really is. Lily or Dr. Freud would probably say that it has to do with that I was born a two weeks premature so I didn't get to hear or feel all the tummy rumbles and heartbeats I wanted to pre-natally.
But I think it's just nice to be that close to someone.
13, October, 12: 38, Great Hall,
Apparently I fell asleep on the couch there with Chris' rumbling tummy because when I woke up that's where I was. I blinked hard and rolled over in the thick duvet thingy that someone had thrown over me in the night and found Sirius Black playing solitaire on the floor with exploding snap cards.
I checked the clock hanging over the mantle piece. It was only a little after six but the wind and rain I could hear beating the windows explained what he was doing down here. "Put the black ten on the red jack." I told him, drawing his attention to me.
"Morning." He greeted me.
"Morning." I returned. "What am I doing down here?"
"Well no one wanted to wake you up last night or lug you up to the girl's dorm so we just got a blanket and pillow and let you sleep down here." He explained, moving the black ten to the red jack. "Did you know you make a little snuffling noise when you sleep?"
I sat up. "I most certainly do not." I protested.
He laughed. "You most certainly do. It's really cute but you still do it." He retorted. I let it drop.
"What are you thinking about?" I asked after a bit of silence.
He shrugged. "I'm going to be eighteen on Saturday." He said. "I was just thinking how our lives are going to change once we leave school. I mean James and I are going to be aurors and with all this weird political stuff happening..." He trailed off.
I'd never seen him, or practically anyone, look so serious. He was really worried about James and all his friends. I tried to smile. "We'll be fine." I assured him. "You and James are best friends. You'll take care of each other."
He smiled and seemed to shake off his dreary mood. "I warned you I get weird when it rains." He said cheerily. "Now you never told me what you and Lily were planning to do after Hogwarts."
"Lily wants to be an auror too but I think I want to be a nurse. I was always really good with healing spells and like you said with this Lord fellow on the rise and maybe a war coming we'll need nurses just as much as we'll need warriors right?" I shrugged. "And I never was any good at hexes."
Sirius smiled again but this time he really looked like he was happy about something. "Well at least we'll keep in touch them right. I mean you'll be around the ministry during training and such and there if I get my arm blowed off or something of the like." He pointed out.
I giggled. "You get your arm blowed off and I'll cripple you myself." I threatened.
Sirius rolled his eyes. "You and James both no doubt."
"What do you want for your birthday?" I asked suddenly remembering what he had told me.
"Nothing." He said in what looked like honesty.
I punched him in the arm. "Don't be mean like that Sirius. You're a blood hard person to shop for I can tell just by looking at you and it's just cruelty to do that. To your own friends too!"
He grabbed my hand. "I'm being serious. Don't get me anything. There's nothing I really want."
I resolved to get him something anyway but I knew that fighting him about more would be completely pointless. I'll ask James about it later. "So who are you going to the ball?" I asked.
"Actually Peter Remus and I are going together as a group." He said re-dealing the cards.
"Why?" I asked. I could understand a group of boys going together if they couldn't find dates, and maybe this was true for Peter but certainly not for Remus or Sirius.
He shrugged. "Our theme only works with three people." He explained.
"The Three Stooges!" I exclaimed.
"The who?" He asked.
"You're going as The Who?" I asked. "There were four people in The Who?"
"What?" He asked.
"The Who! You said you were going as The Who." I reminded him.
"Who are The Who? I wanted to know who the Three Stooges were!" He explained.
"Oh. The Three Stooges are this old comedy group. Slapstick mostly. And the Who are an old band from the sixties." I said.
"Oh well we aren't going as either of those things." He said.
"Then who are you going as?" I asked.
"I'm sworn to secrecy." He smirked.
I let out the cry of a woman pushed the limits of her frustration. "Why am I always the one left out of the secretes?" I shrieked.
Sirius laughed. "But you know what you, Kevin and Chris will be wearing." He pointed out.
"They won't tell me!" I whined. "And it's not fair!"
He laughed again and I had the strong urge to hit him as hard as I could.
14, October, 10: 31, Dormitory,
For once in my life nothing humiliating happened all day. Fucking red letter day in the life of Emily Stanton let me tell you!
15, October, 12: 12, Transfiguration,
Professor McGonagall informed us in a calm, reasonable voice at the beginning of last class that if she confiscated any notes or overheard any conversations concerning the impending ball that the guilty parties would face detention in the darkest coldest dungeon she could find the night of it.
The class room was deadly silent the whole class.
15, October, 4:29, Library,
"What does Sirius want for his birthday?" I asked James during our Arithmancy tutoring session (we've just moved on to bigger and significantly harder things).
James shrugged. "I dunno." He said and started explaining the thing over again.
It's a conspiracy! It's completely a conspiracy! It has to be! They couldn't possibly be this annoying without some planning involved. I thought about ripping James' head off but I really do need him to explain Arithmancy to me.
16, October, 6:39, Dormitory,
I met Chris and Kevin after last class so Chris could take my measurements for my costume. And then I stuck around so Kevin could teach me how to do that cool flippy-open thing with his zippo. And then Chris made me tell the story about how in the fourth year I ACCIDENTALLY set fire to my grandmother's prize grand piano and was grounded the whole summer for it.
"Did you grandmother flip shit?" Kevin asked.
I rolled my eyes. "I swear to god if we had a family bible she would have rubbed my name right out of it faster then you could say 'crotchety old hag.'"
"The biggest thing I ever set fire to was this huge topiary phoenix we used to have in the west garden. It was actually pretty cool, big flaming thing and all, but my parents were pretty pissed." Kevin didn't look to upset about whatever strife he might have caused his parents however.
"Did you tell them you expected a little baby topiary phoenix to rise any day now?" I asked.
He laughed. "No but I wish I'd thought of it." I felt so fucking witty.
17, October, 2: 45, Charms,
Lily and I decided to take the easy way to Sirius' birthday and make our specialty "sparkle" cake for him. I know it's kind of the chickenshit way out but everything else I could think of seemed to intimate for our just-friends relationship. But in my defense my sparkle cake rocks.
We've just got to figure out what to write on it.
18, October, 8: 31, Kitchens,
It's so early I can hardly believe it but here we are waiting for our sparkle cake to cook. It's really freaking the poor house elves out. They can't just figure out why we want to make something ourselves because they can obviously do it better but they're being really accommodating and keeping the suggestions to a minimum.
Right now I'm supposed to be brainstorming for something to write on the cake but I just can't think of anything. We were going to write "two years past sweet and still going strong." What dreamers we were a few minutes ago. We just tried to write something on this plate with the icing and man was it hard.
19, October, 10: 56 AM, Commonroom,
We ended up writing "Happy B-day, Seriously," in case you care. And we also almost set the commonroom on fire lighting the candles but the cake was much appreciated. I don't know if it was good first hand because it disappeared so quickly but the general murmur said it was just great.
Lily and I also had a great time pretending that the recipe was this big secret when really we stole it from the joy of cooking and added sprinkles to the batter for the sparkles. "Didn't you promise never to pun my name ever again?" Sirius said as he consumed his slice of cake.
"Yeah but Lily didn't."
"But thanks for the cake. It's really good." He said.
I shrugged. "Happy Birthday. Many happy returns of the day."
"What does that mean?" Sirius asked.
I shrugged again. "I dunno it's what my uncle used to write in my birthday cards. I guess it just means I'm glad you were born. The day had many great rewards." I explained.
He thought about that for a second. "I like that." He finally decided.
"It always used to make me feel good." I said.
Later Lily, James, Peter, Remus, Sirus and I all curled up on the couches and talked into the night until one by one we all dropped off to sleep. Sirius and I were the last to go and it was really great to sit in the firelight, just the two of us. It felt so comfortable, tonight there wasn't anything sexual, we were just great friends enjoying the fire.
But finally around three o'clock in the morning we got tired and went to find somewhere to drop of. I wormed my way back onto the super wide couch, next to and slightly under Lily and he curled up beside it. "Many happy returns indeed." I heard him whisper just as I dropped of to sleep.
20, October, 2:31, Charms,
Me: What are you and James going to the ball as?
Lily: You know I can't tell you. Besides it's more fun this way.
Me: Yeah, so fun I can hardly stand it
Lily: You won't tell me what Chris, Kevin and you are going as
Me: That's because I don't know!
Lily: Really?
Me: They won't tell me!
Lily: That's really funny
Me: I know where you sleep Evans
21, October, 9:34, History of Magic,
Ode to History of Magic (a Hiku)
Oh Professor Binns,
Why do you do this to us?
The madness must stop!
22, October, 4: 05, Library,
Professor Nor told me today that my grade is up to passing! And I'm really starting to get this new stuff. I mean I still have to work at it but it's still paying off. I can't wait to tell James.
22, October, 4: 58, Library,
James' reaction didn't come close to meeting my expectations. "Congratulations Emily." He said but I could tell he was thinking about something else. His eyes had a sort of glazed look in them.
I waved a hand in front of his face. "Houston to James. Come in James." I said.
His eyes focused. "Oh yeah, sorry Emily. That's great." He said with only a little more conviction.
"What's wrong with you?" I asked.
He shook his head. "It's nothing. Let's start going over that stuff." He said, opening his book.
I shut it. "I'm serious James tell me." I insisted.
He frowned deeply. "Promise not to tell Lily?" He asked.
I had to consider that. It was so damn hard to keep secrets from her, but I really was dying to know so I made a little x over my heart. "Cross my heart and hope to die." I promised.
"Well it's just that she's been acting really weird lately." He said.
"Who Lily? Lily always acts weird, how did you miss that?" I laughed but he looked so serious I stopped very quickly. "Look, James, chances are it has nothing to do with you. She's probably just PMSing. Give it three more days and she'll be back to herself."
He shook his head and looked really uncomfortable. "No, it isn't that."
My curiosity doubled. "What happened?" Had they had sex, I wondered. Had my best friend had sex and not even bothered to tell me about it? "Did you two have sex?" I demanded. I was going to kill her for not telling me!
James rolled his eyes. "No, we didn't have sex."
"Then what?" I asked, or sort of shrieked.
He gestured for me to keep it down. "I sort of told her that I was in love with her." He said really quickly.
I blinked. "What do you mean you sort of told her you loved her?" I asked bluntly.
"I mean I fucking told her!" He said, louder.
I blinked again. "You love her?" I asked.
"No! I told her that for my health." He was sort of shrieking now.
"Why did you do that?" In my stunned state I really wasn't equipped to recognize sarcasm.
"I was being sarcastic!" He exhaled deeply and all the pompous wind seemed to leave him. "Of course I love her." In the seven years I had known James Potter I had never once seen him look so humble.
I nodded. "Well, what did she say?" I asked.
He took off his glasses and covered the top half of his face with a hand. "She dodged." He said. "It's sort of a blur now but I think she said something like 'that's nice' and then that she had to go. And she's been acting weird ever since." If James hadn't looked like he might cry I would have laughed. What a classically Lily thing to do!
I kind of scooted my chair right next to his and awkwardly patted his back. "You know I don't know if anyone ever told you this about Lily but she's shit scared of commitment." I consoled him.
"You're totally making that up." James protested. "But thanks anyway."
"I'm not making it up." I protested. "Before you her longest boyfriend lasted about a week."
That seemed to cheer him up, or at least he took his hand off his face and he sat up straight again. "How do I fix this Emily?" He asked. "I can't take it back and I don't know if I would even if I could."
"I'll talk to her to about it. She really does love you James." I assured him, rubbing his back still.
"You think so?" He asked.
"I know so. But James, just don't let her back out of this." I said.
"Okay but don't tell her I told you okay?"
"Discretion, Mr. Potter, is my middle name."
22, October, 9: 59, Dormitory,
"WHAT WERE YOU THINKING LILY!" I screamed at her when she entered the dormitory that night, pretty much throwing discretion out the fucking window but whatever. She was just lucky we were alone, I was all ready to read her the riot act for breaking poor James' heart.
She didn't even to bother to ask what I was on about, she took one look at me and knew. "Oh god. I knew he was going to tell you." She said dropping to her bed with a deep sigh that reminded me of how James had looked in the library. "I just knew it."
"AND A GOOD THING TOO!" I yelled. "WHAT WERE YOU THINKING! YOU KNOW YOU LOVE HIM BUT YOU'RE JUST TO SCARED TO DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT!"
"Don't yell at me Emily." She said, looking close to tears.
That knocked all the anger right out of me. I mean sure she'd hurt James but she was still my best friend and I still loved her and she looked like she really needed a cuddle. I got into her bed and snuggled up next to her under the covers, wrapping an arm across her waist and tucking my head into the crook of her shoulder. "I'm so sorry Lily but he's my friend too now and you broke his little heart." I whispered. "I just got mad."
That got her to crying. "I just d-d-didn't know w-w-what to do." She sobbed. "I mean there we w-w-were k-k-kissing in the Astronomy Tower and h- h-he just pulled back and l-l-l-looked right at me and said he l-l-l-loved me and I just f-f-freaked out." The stutters were punctuated with little explosions of tears and the jerky inhalation aftermaths.
I tried to remember the last time I'd seen Lily cry, if I ever had. "Oh sweetie it's okay." I assured her.
"How do I fix this Emily?" She. It struck me as kind of funny that she used the same words that James had. "What do I do?"
"I think you talk to him about it." I said.
Her crying intensified. "I don't want to talk to him." She squalled curling into me like a little kid.
"I know you don't." I said. "But I think you're going to have to. Otherwise I'll kick your ass."
That got a weak little out of her. "Like you could Stanton." She sniffed.
I laughed too. "What in your emotionally weakened condition? It'd be a piece of cake." I said handing her the ever present box of Kleenex off of Alice's bedside table (she's got major allergies). "I'd trounce you three ways to Sunday and make it look easy too."
She giggled in that way you only do after a long cry. A sort of hysterical laugh. I wiped away her tears with the sleeve of my robe. "Thanks Em." She whispered snuggling in closer to me.
I nodded and began stroking her hair. "What scares you so much about James? I've seen the way you look at him. You've totally fallen for him and I'd say it's fatal." I said. "Shouldn't you be happy he loves you?"
She whimpered a little bit. "That's just it. I look at James and before I even realize it I'm wondering what our children would look like and worse, I'm hoping I find out!" It was so strange listening in this in my tough-as-nails best friend's voice. "That's certainly never happened before! It's just so much new and not enough familiar. I'm out of my, oh, what does my cousin call it... I'm out of my comfort zone."
I sighed. "I guess that's understandable, hell I know exactly how you feel." Thanks to Sirius Black I do anyway. "But Lily you've never been too scared to do something in your whole life and this is something I think you need."
She sniffed again. "I guess."
"I'll referee your "little talk" if you'd like." I offered.
She shook her head. "No, James and I have to work this out on our own, like the adults we're almost. And even if we rip each other apart again you'll be around to pick up the pieces and it'll have been a learning experience right?" She didn't sound to convinced but defiantly resolved.
I nodded and gave her a paternal kiss on the forehead and because I was feeling very corny and sentimental I said, "I'll always pick up the pieces for you Lily."
23, October, 11: 21, Transfiguration,
Music I am Ashamed to Say I Like:
1) Under my Thumb by The Rolling Stones (I know it's sexist and subversive and Mick Jagger is a stupid prick for writing it but that doesn't make the tune any less great)
2) Steve Goodman (Now I know I co-founded the anti-country music sect at Hogwarts but for me it just doesn't get better then when he sings Donald and Lydia)
3) Frank Sinatra (Don't ask, it's an affliction)
4) You're The One That I Want from the Grease soundtrack (yeah, there's no excuse for this one)
23, October, 11:29, Transfiguration,
Me: How can you look at John Travolta Chris: Very easily. He's a hunk.
Me: But I mean don't you just start hearing the Bee Gees?
Chris: The Bee Gees weren't that bad
Me: I've got two words for you: Stayin' Alive. In my opinion that song is enough to condemn the whole group to eternal damnation in the inner circle of hell. You know the one where it's like cold.
Chris: It's disco music, it's better if you're dancing to it
Me: There is no possible way to improve Stayin' Alive.
Chris: Shut up about John Travolta or I'll make your costume really ugly
Me: John Ravolta more like it
Chris: I'm serious
Me: You wouldn't able to bring yourself to make ugly clothes
Chris: I'm not accepting any more notes from you
Me: John Ravolta! John Ravolta!
Me: Chris and John Ravolta sitting in a tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G
Me: Spoil sport
23, October, 12: 43, Great Hall,
For the first time in a long time James, Sirius, Remus and Peter did not sit with Chris, Lily and myself today. In fact they sat almost on the other end of the table. "Did you talk to him yet?" I asked Lily.
She shook her head, looking a little white and sick. "I was going to do it after Quiddich Practice tonight." She said. "Are you sure about this Emily?"
"Look Lily he told me yesterday he wouldn't take it back. He's probably just trying to give you the space you sort of bluntly asked for." I pointed out.
She nodded but kept casting little worried glances at James the whole lunch.
"Um...did I miss something?" Chris asked.
"Nothing." Lily started to say but I cut her off.
"James told Lily that he loved her and she flipped out and blew him off, thus breaking both their hearts and plunging them into an agony of despair." I summed up.
"Oh." Chris said and went back to his mashed potatoes.
"She's a liar you know." Lily tried to convince Chris.
"Yeah." Chris said quickly, not at all sounding convinced.
Lily glared at me. "Don't blame me, he just knows you too well." I said.
23, October, 4: 12, Library,
Sirius was waiting for me when I left Arithmancy and he pulled me aside. "What's up with Lily and James?" He asked. "Why aren't we sitting with you guys anymore?"
It was sort of flattering that James would tell me what happened between him and Lily but not his best friend but I guess I sort of was James' relationship councilor from the beginning. I thought about respecting any wishes James might have had about Sirius not knowing but had the roles have been reversed I would have wanted Sirius to tell me.
"James told Lily he loved her and she's sort of really commitmentaphobic so naturally she flipped out and etcetera, etcetera. You can probably fill in the nasty details." I explained to him.
"Fuck." Sirius sighed. "Are you taking care of it?" He asked.
I nodded. "They're talking about it after Quiddich practice."
"Great." He said.
I twirled a strand of hair around my finger. "Hey Sirius." I wanted to ask him something but I wasn't sure I wanted to know the answer. "Until Lily and James resolve this, we're still friends right?"
He shook his head but in a way that suggested he couldn't believe I was asking something so stupid. "Don't be daft Emily. Just because your best friend broke my best friend's hear doesn't mean I'm going to abandon you. If James wants to play with emotional fire and get burned it's his own fucking fault. I don't play favorites with my friends." He said ruffling my hair.
It made me feel good to know that Sirius considered me a real friend, not just his best friend's girlfriend's friend. Lily and James should have issues more often because all things considered, this has been great for my ego. I mean first there was James confiding in me and then there was Lily needing me and now this thing with Sirius.
AN: Well kids this is either the penultimate or the antepenultimate chapter (depending on how I deal with the rest of the time till the ball). Yes, that's right, by the day after the ball everything will be resolved for better or for worse. Though I am going to write an epilogue (there is a slim possibility that it'll turn into a sequel) about what happens when Sirius breaks out of Azkaban.
And as always REVIEW! Mark Twian once said that he could live for two months on a good compliment and while I don't know about that flattery certainly greases my creative gears.
AN: I ADDED SOME ON THE END SO IF YOU READ THIS CHAPTER WITHIN THE FIRST TWO DAYS IT WAS PUBLISHED YOU SHOULD RE-READ THE ENDING! OTHERWISE THE NEXT CHAPTER WON'T MAKE MUCH SENSE!
7, October, 9: 40, Commonroom,
Lily, James, Sirius and I are playing team scrabble right now (girls against boys) and I am happy to report that we are pummeling the two of them. Mostly because we decided that swear words are legal and Lily can make up the most convincing sounding nonsense in that department.
No development in the Sirius department.
8, October, 2: 41, Charms,
I just got back from the bathroom and the most humiliating thing happened to me while I was in there. I went in and to my surprise Chris S and Rosie were in their washing their hands and as I walked by to get to one of the stalls Chris gave me this really nasty look. It was exactly the same look Rosie gives me everytime she realizes how much of a freak I am (almost every time she looks at me).
And it occurred to me just then that I had done the a thing I had sworn not to from the very first moment I realized that all my friends and were beginning to be attracted to the opposite sex: I had lost a friend over a boy. It seemed like Chris S.'s and my friendship had just disintegrated over next to nothing and now we were almost enemies.
How had that happened? Why had that happened? If I hadn't liked James or Kevin I would have told Lily or Chris about it but I wouldn't have issued the ultimatum I had apparently gotten from Chris S. I wouldn't have made them chose between the two of us. But there it was and now I had burned the bridge between us and I didn't even have Sirius in the bargain.
"Chris." I said almost before I had finished thinking. "I'm really sorry about everything I did."
She looked like for a moment she was going to let me bury the hatchet but then she seemed to remember who was right next to her and rolled her eyes. "Yeah whatever." She said and began to brush her hair. Rosie laughed and I felt sick to my stomach but I continued. I must be a sado-masochist or something.
"I'm serious Chris. I'm really serious." I said. "Is there anything I can do to make it up to you?" I was practically pleading at this point and it really disgusted me but I was so sad about what had happened.
"Yeah actually there is." Chris said in her meanest voice.
"What?" I asked knowing she was just going to say something really personal and vicious.
"You can make That Boy fall out of love with you." She said in a sarcastic voice but the look in her eyes told me she was completely serious.
I didn't have to ask who That Boy was. "He's not in love with me." I protested.
"You would say that." She said meanly and flounced off.
10, October, 12: 38, Great Hall,
To the Hogwart's school body:
In honor of the twelve hundredth birthday of our beautiful school the Head Boy and Head Girl along with the Prefects have elected to hold a celebration ball on the 31st of October. Students below fifth year may come only if invited by an older student. Costume trousseau is mandatory.
Albus Dumbledoor
More later.
10, October, 10: 52, Dormitory,
No one can seem to shut up about this ball. I mean don't get me wrong I'm pretty excited myself but still...can we talk about something ELSE? Maybe I'm just disappointed and bitter because the chance of everything working out just the way I want it to is like the square root of zero and everyone else seems to be getting exactly what they want.
I mean after we all looked up the word trousseau Lily and James spent all of lunch whispering together about what they're planning to wear and refusing in this really annoying superior voice to tell anyone what they're planning to wear.
Chris and Kevin are really excited too. At first they were really depressed because they didn't see any way they could possibly go together but that was until yours truly stepped in. I'm not even sure where this burst of brilliance came from but I hunted them down in Moaning Mrytle's bathroom.
"Hey Chris you want to go to the ball with me?" I asked.
He nodded. "Thanks Em."
"Hey Kevin, you want to go to the ball with me?" I asked, turning to the other ball.
It took them about five seconds to realize what I was up to but then Chris let out this shriek and grabbed me up in this bone crushing hug. And Kevin was laughing in this really relieved way. "You are the sweetest girl I know." He told me.
I shook my head. "This way you guys aren't gay. Just my friends."
"Emily if I wasn't a complete fag I would ask you to marry me." Chris said giving me a big kiss on the cheek. "Because I'll never find a better woman." Well that made me feel good.
Deus ex Machina I'm telling you.
Most people will be buying their costume from either the costume shop in Hogsmead or the one in the muggle village a few miles away but Chris is an awesome clothing designer/maker so he and Kevin decided to do our costumes as a little couples project. "I can't sow worth a damn but I can learn to pin things or something." Kevin shrugged.
But they were both so happy with me that they completely exempted me from any costume making/planning sessions. In fact they decided to not even tell me what I was going to be wearing. Which is so annoying but I guess better then having to try to pick out fabric.
Lily says what I did with Chris and Kevin was selfless because I desperately want to go to this dance with a certain bestfriend of her boyfriend. I decided to just let her think that because I didn't feel like divulging that the real reason was that I wasn't exactly optimistic about my chances of getting asked by that certain person. I mean don't get me wrong, Kevin, Chris and I are going to have a great time but neither of them are likely to sweep me off my feet with an incredible kiss like Sirius might have.
I wonder what everyone will wear. I hope Sirius' outfit includes really tight pants.
11, October, 8: 31, Moaning Myrtle's Bathroom,
Lily and I got up extra super early because we're painting pro-James T-shirts with Madame Greenbaum's super fast drying paint for this afternoon's Quidditch match against Ravenclaw and we have to be done and cleaned up in time for breakfast otherwise he might suspect us.
Lily's says "mess with the best, die with the rest." And I am pretty sure she stole that from her local highschool's lacrosse team but I have decided not to comment because Lily is already in her pre-game rage. Mine says "Who is more foolish: the fool or the Ravenclaws who follow him?"
"I don't see how that is supportive of our team." Lily pointed out after we were done.
I shrugged. "I am saying something demeaning about the other team. And if nothing else it is a sage piece of age old Jedi advise that you and every one else would do well to think on. Even if George Lucas probably stole from some philosophy book by some dead white guy." I explained.
"You're a weird kid." She said and made me let her draw a very graphic image of her boyfriend eviscerating the Ravenclaw seeker with his broom.
And she says I'm the weird one.
12, October, 4: 55, Commonroom,
Gryfindor won.
With that out of the way, exactly three people got the joke on the back of my shirt (one Gryfindor third year and two Ravenclaws sixth years, I can't be sure about them but they did give me the finger so I can only assume). Most people thought it was really deep and that I had made it up or gave me funny looks.
We're have a party in the commonroom right now and I can barely think for all the loud shrieking and the occasional crash. Mostly what I'm trying to do right now is stay away from James because he's all sweaty and addrenalized from a really spectacular chase right now and can't stop making out with my best friend which is all a little traumatizing.
Besides all these simpering fifth years keep trying to congregate around him and watching them try to feel his muscles is a little nauseating. And I so don't want to be there when Lily finally flips shit. So I'm curled up next to Chris and we're watching the unfolding of Remus and Peter's game (I'm periodically shouting encouragement at Remus and Chris is at Peter) of exploding snap while I beg him to tell me what he and Kevin are planning for my ball attire.
It's actually quite nice because I can feel Chris' heart beat, stomach rumbles and his voice I'm pressed up so close to him, which you wouldn't think would be soothing but it really is. Lily or Dr. Freud would probably say that it has to do with that I was born a two weeks premature so I didn't get to hear or feel all the tummy rumbles and heartbeats I wanted to pre-natally.
But I think it's just nice to be that close to someone.
13, October, 12: 38, Great Hall,
Apparently I fell asleep on the couch there with Chris' rumbling tummy because when I woke up that's where I was. I blinked hard and rolled over in the thick duvet thingy that someone had thrown over me in the night and found Sirius Black playing solitaire on the floor with exploding snap cards.
I checked the clock hanging over the mantle piece. It was only a little after six but the wind and rain I could hear beating the windows explained what he was doing down here. "Put the black ten on the red jack." I told him, drawing his attention to me.
"Morning." He greeted me.
"Morning." I returned. "What am I doing down here?"
"Well no one wanted to wake you up last night or lug you up to the girl's dorm so we just got a blanket and pillow and let you sleep down here." He explained, moving the black ten to the red jack. "Did you know you make a little snuffling noise when you sleep?"
I sat up. "I most certainly do not." I protested.
He laughed. "You most certainly do. It's really cute but you still do it." He retorted. I let it drop.
"What are you thinking about?" I asked after a bit of silence.
He shrugged. "I'm going to be eighteen on Saturday." He said. "I was just thinking how our lives are going to change once we leave school. I mean James and I are going to be aurors and with all this weird political stuff happening..." He trailed off.
I'd never seen him, or practically anyone, look so serious. He was really worried about James and all his friends. I tried to smile. "We'll be fine." I assured him. "You and James are best friends. You'll take care of each other."
He smiled and seemed to shake off his dreary mood. "I warned you I get weird when it rains." He said cheerily. "Now you never told me what you and Lily were planning to do after Hogwarts."
"Lily wants to be an auror too but I think I want to be a nurse. I was always really good with healing spells and like you said with this Lord fellow on the rise and maybe a war coming we'll need nurses just as much as we'll need warriors right?" I shrugged. "And I never was any good at hexes."
Sirius smiled again but this time he really looked like he was happy about something. "Well at least we'll keep in touch them right. I mean you'll be around the ministry during training and such and there if I get my arm blowed off or something of the like." He pointed out.
I giggled. "You get your arm blowed off and I'll cripple you myself." I threatened.
Sirius rolled his eyes. "You and James both no doubt."
"What do you want for your birthday?" I asked suddenly remembering what he had told me.
"Nothing." He said in what looked like honesty.
I punched him in the arm. "Don't be mean like that Sirius. You're a blood hard person to shop for I can tell just by looking at you and it's just cruelty to do that. To your own friends too!"
He grabbed my hand. "I'm being serious. Don't get me anything. There's nothing I really want."
I resolved to get him something anyway but I knew that fighting him about more would be completely pointless. I'll ask James about it later. "So who are you going to the ball?" I asked.
"Actually Peter Remus and I are going together as a group." He said re-dealing the cards.
"Why?" I asked. I could understand a group of boys going together if they couldn't find dates, and maybe this was true for Peter but certainly not for Remus or Sirius.
He shrugged. "Our theme only works with three people." He explained.
"The Three Stooges!" I exclaimed.
"The who?" He asked.
"You're going as The Who?" I asked. "There were four people in The Who?"
"What?" He asked.
"The Who! You said you were going as The Who." I reminded him.
"Who are The Who? I wanted to know who the Three Stooges were!" He explained.
"Oh. The Three Stooges are this old comedy group. Slapstick mostly. And the Who are an old band from the sixties." I said.
"Oh well we aren't going as either of those things." He said.
"Then who are you going as?" I asked.
"I'm sworn to secrecy." He smirked.
I let out the cry of a woman pushed the limits of her frustration. "Why am I always the one left out of the secretes?" I shrieked.
Sirius laughed. "But you know what you, Kevin and Chris will be wearing." He pointed out.
"They won't tell me!" I whined. "And it's not fair!"
He laughed again and I had the strong urge to hit him as hard as I could.
14, October, 10: 31, Dormitory,
For once in my life nothing humiliating happened all day. Fucking red letter day in the life of Emily Stanton let me tell you!
15, October, 12: 12, Transfiguration,
Professor McGonagall informed us in a calm, reasonable voice at the beginning of last class that if she confiscated any notes or overheard any conversations concerning the impending ball that the guilty parties would face detention in the darkest coldest dungeon she could find the night of it.
The class room was deadly silent the whole class.
15, October, 4:29, Library,
"What does Sirius want for his birthday?" I asked James during our Arithmancy tutoring session (we've just moved on to bigger and significantly harder things).
James shrugged. "I dunno." He said and started explaining the thing over again.
It's a conspiracy! It's completely a conspiracy! It has to be! They couldn't possibly be this annoying without some planning involved. I thought about ripping James' head off but I really do need him to explain Arithmancy to me.
16, October, 6:39, Dormitory,
I met Chris and Kevin after last class so Chris could take my measurements for my costume. And then I stuck around so Kevin could teach me how to do that cool flippy-open thing with his zippo. And then Chris made me tell the story about how in the fourth year I ACCIDENTALLY set fire to my grandmother's prize grand piano and was grounded the whole summer for it.
"Did you grandmother flip shit?" Kevin asked.
I rolled my eyes. "I swear to god if we had a family bible she would have rubbed my name right out of it faster then you could say 'crotchety old hag.'"
"The biggest thing I ever set fire to was this huge topiary phoenix we used to have in the west garden. It was actually pretty cool, big flaming thing and all, but my parents were pretty pissed." Kevin didn't look to upset about whatever strife he might have caused his parents however.
"Did you tell them you expected a little baby topiary phoenix to rise any day now?" I asked.
He laughed. "No but I wish I'd thought of it." I felt so fucking witty.
17, October, 2: 45, Charms,
Lily and I decided to take the easy way to Sirius' birthday and make our specialty "sparkle" cake for him. I know it's kind of the chickenshit way out but everything else I could think of seemed to intimate for our just-friends relationship. But in my defense my sparkle cake rocks.
We've just got to figure out what to write on it.
18, October, 8: 31, Kitchens,
It's so early I can hardly believe it but here we are waiting for our sparkle cake to cook. It's really freaking the poor house elves out. They can't just figure out why we want to make something ourselves because they can obviously do it better but they're being really accommodating and keeping the suggestions to a minimum.
Right now I'm supposed to be brainstorming for something to write on the cake but I just can't think of anything. We were going to write "two years past sweet and still going strong." What dreamers we were a few minutes ago. We just tried to write something on this plate with the icing and man was it hard.
19, October, 10: 56 AM, Commonroom,
We ended up writing "Happy B-day, Seriously," in case you care. And we also almost set the commonroom on fire lighting the candles but the cake was much appreciated. I don't know if it was good first hand because it disappeared so quickly but the general murmur said it was just great.
Lily and I also had a great time pretending that the recipe was this big secret when really we stole it from the joy of cooking and added sprinkles to the batter for the sparkles. "Didn't you promise never to pun my name ever again?" Sirius said as he consumed his slice of cake.
"Yeah but Lily didn't."
"But thanks for the cake. It's really good." He said.
I shrugged. "Happy Birthday. Many happy returns of the day."
"What does that mean?" Sirius asked.
I shrugged again. "I dunno it's what my uncle used to write in my birthday cards. I guess it just means I'm glad you were born. The day had many great rewards." I explained.
He thought about that for a second. "I like that." He finally decided.
"It always used to make me feel good." I said.
Later Lily, James, Peter, Remus, Sirus and I all curled up on the couches and talked into the night until one by one we all dropped off to sleep. Sirius and I were the last to go and it was really great to sit in the firelight, just the two of us. It felt so comfortable, tonight there wasn't anything sexual, we were just great friends enjoying the fire.
But finally around three o'clock in the morning we got tired and went to find somewhere to drop of. I wormed my way back onto the super wide couch, next to and slightly under Lily and he curled up beside it. "Many happy returns indeed." I heard him whisper just as I dropped of to sleep.
20, October, 2:31, Charms,
Me: What are you and James going to the ball as?
Lily: You know I can't tell you. Besides it's more fun this way.
Me: Yeah, so fun I can hardly stand it
Lily: You won't tell me what Chris, Kevin and you are going as
Me: That's because I don't know!
Lily: Really?
Me: They won't tell me!
Lily: That's really funny
Me: I know where you sleep Evans
21, October, 9:34, History of Magic,
Ode to History of Magic (a Hiku)
Oh Professor Binns,
Why do you do this to us?
The madness must stop!
22, October, 4: 05, Library,
Professor Nor told me today that my grade is up to passing! And I'm really starting to get this new stuff. I mean I still have to work at it but it's still paying off. I can't wait to tell James.
22, October, 4: 58, Library,
James' reaction didn't come close to meeting my expectations. "Congratulations Emily." He said but I could tell he was thinking about something else. His eyes had a sort of glazed look in them.
I waved a hand in front of his face. "Houston to James. Come in James." I said.
His eyes focused. "Oh yeah, sorry Emily. That's great." He said with only a little more conviction.
"What's wrong with you?" I asked.
He shook his head. "It's nothing. Let's start going over that stuff." He said, opening his book.
I shut it. "I'm serious James tell me." I insisted.
He frowned deeply. "Promise not to tell Lily?" He asked.
I had to consider that. It was so damn hard to keep secrets from her, but I really was dying to know so I made a little x over my heart. "Cross my heart and hope to die." I promised.
"Well it's just that she's been acting really weird lately." He said.
"Who Lily? Lily always acts weird, how did you miss that?" I laughed but he looked so serious I stopped very quickly. "Look, James, chances are it has nothing to do with you. She's probably just PMSing. Give it three more days and she'll be back to herself."
He shook his head and looked really uncomfortable. "No, it isn't that."
My curiosity doubled. "What happened?" Had they had sex, I wondered. Had my best friend had sex and not even bothered to tell me about it? "Did you two have sex?" I demanded. I was going to kill her for not telling me!
James rolled his eyes. "No, we didn't have sex."
"Then what?" I asked, or sort of shrieked.
He gestured for me to keep it down. "I sort of told her that I was in love with her." He said really quickly.
I blinked. "What do you mean you sort of told her you loved her?" I asked bluntly.
"I mean I fucking told her!" He said, louder.
I blinked again. "You love her?" I asked.
"No! I told her that for my health." He was sort of shrieking now.
"Why did you do that?" In my stunned state I really wasn't equipped to recognize sarcasm.
"I was being sarcastic!" He exhaled deeply and all the pompous wind seemed to leave him. "Of course I love her." In the seven years I had known James Potter I had never once seen him look so humble.
I nodded. "Well, what did she say?" I asked.
He took off his glasses and covered the top half of his face with a hand. "She dodged." He said. "It's sort of a blur now but I think she said something like 'that's nice' and then that she had to go. And she's been acting weird ever since." If James hadn't looked like he might cry I would have laughed. What a classically Lily thing to do!
I kind of scooted my chair right next to his and awkwardly patted his back. "You know I don't know if anyone ever told you this about Lily but she's shit scared of commitment." I consoled him.
"You're totally making that up." James protested. "But thanks anyway."
"I'm not making it up." I protested. "Before you her longest boyfriend lasted about a week."
That seemed to cheer him up, or at least he took his hand off his face and he sat up straight again. "How do I fix this Emily?" He asked. "I can't take it back and I don't know if I would even if I could."
"I'll talk to her to about it. She really does love you James." I assured him, rubbing his back still.
"You think so?" He asked.
"I know so. But James, just don't let her back out of this." I said.
"Okay but don't tell her I told you okay?"
"Discretion, Mr. Potter, is my middle name."
22, October, 9: 59, Dormitory,
"WHAT WERE YOU THINKING LILY!" I screamed at her when she entered the dormitory that night, pretty much throwing discretion out the fucking window but whatever. She was just lucky we were alone, I was all ready to read her the riot act for breaking poor James' heart.
She didn't even to bother to ask what I was on about, she took one look at me and knew. "Oh god. I knew he was going to tell you." She said dropping to her bed with a deep sigh that reminded me of how James had looked in the library. "I just knew it."
"AND A GOOD THING TOO!" I yelled. "WHAT WERE YOU THINKING! YOU KNOW YOU LOVE HIM BUT YOU'RE JUST TO SCARED TO DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT!"
"Don't yell at me Emily." She said, looking close to tears.
That knocked all the anger right out of me. I mean sure she'd hurt James but she was still my best friend and I still loved her and she looked like she really needed a cuddle. I got into her bed and snuggled up next to her under the covers, wrapping an arm across her waist and tucking my head into the crook of her shoulder. "I'm so sorry Lily but he's my friend too now and you broke his little heart." I whispered. "I just got mad."
That got her to crying. "I just d-d-didn't know w-w-what to do." She sobbed. "I mean there we w-w-were k-k-kissing in the Astronomy Tower and h- h-he just pulled back and l-l-l-looked right at me and said he l-l-l-loved me and I just f-f-freaked out." The stutters were punctuated with little explosions of tears and the jerky inhalation aftermaths.
I tried to remember the last time I'd seen Lily cry, if I ever had. "Oh sweetie it's okay." I assured her.
"How do I fix this Emily?" She. It struck me as kind of funny that she used the same words that James had. "What do I do?"
"I think you talk to him about it." I said.
Her crying intensified. "I don't want to talk to him." She squalled curling into me like a little kid.
"I know you don't." I said. "But I think you're going to have to. Otherwise I'll kick your ass."
That got a weak little out of her. "Like you could Stanton." She sniffed.
I laughed too. "What in your emotionally weakened condition? It'd be a piece of cake." I said handing her the ever present box of Kleenex off of Alice's bedside table (she's got major allergies). "I'd trounce you three ways to Sunday and make it look easy too."
She giggled in that way you only do after a long cry. A sort of hysterical laugh. I wiped away her tears with the sleeve of my robe. "Thanks Em." She whispered snuggling in closer to me.
I nodded and began stroking her hair. "What scares you so much about James? I've seen the way you look at him. You've totally fallen for him and I'd say it's fatal." I said. "Shouldn't you be happy he loves you?"
She whimpered a little bit. "That's just it. I look at James and before I even realize it I'm wondering what our children would look like and worse, I'm hoping I find out!" It was so strange listening in this in my tough-as-nails best friend's voice. "That's certainly never happened before! It's just so much new and not enough familiar. I'm out of my, oh, what does my cousin call it... I'm out of my comfort zone."
I sighed. "I guess that's understandable, hell I know exactly how you feel." Thanks to Sirius Black I do anyway. "But Lily you've never been too scared to do something in your whole life and this is something I think you need."
She sniffed again. "I guess."
"I'll referee your "little talk" if you'd like." I offered.
She shook her head. "No, James and I have to work this out on our own, like the adults we're almost. And even if we rip each other apart again you'll be around to pick up the pieces and it'll have been a learning experience right?" She didn't sound to convinced but defiantly resolved.
I nodded and gave her a paternal kiss on the forehead and because I was feeling very corny and sentimental I said, "I'll always pick up the pieces for you Lily."
23, October, 11: 21, Transfiguration,
Music I am Ashamed to Say I Like:
1) Under my Thumb by The Rolling Stones (I know it's sexist and subversive and Mick Jagger is a stupid prick for writing it but that doesn't make the tune any less great)
2) Steve Goodman (Now I know I co-founded the anti-country music sect at Hogwarts but for me it just doesn't get better then when he sings Donald and Lydia)
3) Frank Sinatra (Don't ask, it's an affliction)
4) You're The One That I Want from the Grease soundtrack (yeah, there's no excuse for this one)
23, October, 11:29, Transfiguration,
Me: How can you look at John Travolta Chris: Very easily. He's a hunk.
Me: But I mean don't you just start hearing the Bee Gees?
Chris: The Bee Gees weren't that bad
Me: I've got two words for you: Stayin' Alive. In my opinion that song is enough to condemn the whole group to eternal damnation in the inner circle of hell. You know the one where it's like cold.
Chris: It's disco music, it's better if you're dancing to it
Me: There is no possible way to improve Stayin' Alive.
Chris: Shut up about John Travolta or I'll make your costume really ugly
Me: John Ravolta more like it
Chris: I'm serious
Me: You wouldn't able to bring yourself to make ugly clothes
Chris: I'm not accepting any more notes from you
Me: John Ravolta! John Ravolta!
Me: Chris and John Ravolta sitting in a tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G
Me: Spoil sport
23, October, 12: 43, Great Hall,
For the first time in a long time James, Sirius, Remus and Peter did not sit with Chris, Lily and myself today. In fact they sat almost on the other end of the table. "Did you talk to him yet?" I asked Lily.
She shook her head, looking a little white and sick. "I was going to do it after Quiddich Practice tonight." She said. "Are you sure about this Emily?"
"Look Lily he told me yesterday he wouldn't take it back. He's probably just trying to give you the space you sort of bluntly asked for." I pointed out.
She nodded but kept casting little worried glances at James the whole lunch.
"Um...did I miss something?" Chris asked.
"Nothing." Lily started to say but I cut her off.
"James told Lily that he loved her and she flipped out and blew him off, thus breaking both their hearts and plunging them into an agony of despair." I summed up.
"Oh." Chris said and went back to his mashed potatoes.
"She's a liar you know." Lily tried to convince Chris.
"Yeah." Chris said quickly, not at all sounding convinced.
Lily glared at me. "Don't blame me, he just knows you too well." I said.
23, October, 4: 12, Library,
Sirius was waiting for me when I left Arithmancy and he pulled me aside. "What's up with Lily and James?" He asked. "Why aren't we sitting with you guys anymore?"
It was sort of flattering that James would tell me what happened between him and Lily but not his best friend but I guess I sort of was James' relationship councilor from the beginning. I thought about respecting any wishes James might have had about Sirius not knowing but had the roles have been reversed I would have wanted Sirius to tell me.
"James told Lily he loved her and she's sort of really commitmentaphobic so naturally she flipped out and etcetera, etcetera. You can probably fill in the nasty details." I explained to him.
"Fuck." Sirius sighed. "Are you taking care of it?" He asked.
I nodded. "They're talking about it after Quiddich practice."
"Great." He said.
I twirled a strand of hair around my finger. "Hey Sirius." I wanted to ask him something but I wasn't sure I wanted to know the answer. "Until Lily and James resolve this, we're still friends right?"
He shook his head but in a way that suggested he couldn't believe I was asking something so stupid. "Don't be daft Emily. Just because your best friend broke my best friend's hear doesn't mean I'm going to abandon you. If James wants to play with emotional fire and get burned it's his own fucking fault. I don't play favorites with my friends." He said ruffling my hair.
It made me feel good to know that Sirius considered me a real friend, not just his best friend's girlfriend's friend. Lily and James should have issues more often because all things considered, this has been great for my ego. I mean first there was James confiding in me and then there was Lily needing me and now this thing with Sirius.
AN: Well kids this is either the penultimate or the antepenultimate chapter (depending on how I deal with the rest of the time till the ball). Yes, that's right, by the day after the ball everything will be resolved for better or for worse. Though I am going to write an epilogue (there is a slim possibility that it'll turn into a sequel) about what happens when Sirius breaks out of Azkaban.
And as always REVIEW! Mark Twian once said that he could live for two months on a good compliment and while I don't know about that flattery certainly greases my creative gears.