A/N: REVIEWS ROCK MY WORLD. I lurv you. I reely reely do! And so heres anudder chapter, just for you, Carolyn, LadyGglory and nightwoman

Jenneva/Gollum/Sam/Frodo/Carolyn

Jenneva was now equipped with a stick. Any time Gollum came near her, she whapped him on the head. Unfortunately, this only seemed to increase Gollum's interest. After all, anything worth having is worth fighting for or whatnot. So Carolyn watched the anguish of her bald friend and laughed. This did not last very long, however. That night, Jenneva exacted her revenge.

Carolyn woke up and rubbed her eyes at the bright morning light. But, her eyes felt weird. She dug out her mirror and screamed in utter agony. Jenneva had shaved her eyebrows, and given her a flock of seagulls haircut.

"JENNEVA, I'M GONNA KICK YOUR SCRAWNY ASS!!!"

Carolyn chased Jenneva around, completely forgetting about the stun gun in her fit of rage. Gollum, however, had remembered quite well and grabbed it. He aimed and hit Carolyn straight in the bum.

"We saved Jennewah. We loves Jennewah, precious. Jennewah is grateful and will give us love."

Jenneva groaned. "How about cheezits?"

"What are cheezits, precious?"

"They are yummy squares of cheese that you eat," and with that, she gave him a handful. They had a rather odd affect on him, however. He began jumping around and singing in an excruciatingly awful voice.

"GOLLUM, SHUT UP OR I'LL NEVER GIVE YOU CHEEZITS AGAIN" Jenneva yelled over the singing.

Gollum immediately shut his trap.

"You shouldn't be so mean to him. He was something like a hobbit once. Weren't you, Smeagol?" asked Frodo, remembering what Gandalf had told him.

"No. We was a cheezit once, precious." Gollum went into a fit of laughter at his own bad joke. Sam rolled his eyes.

"Just quiet him down, I hear an odd noise."

Boromir/Fabio

silence

"Thank you thank you thank you," Boromir whispered.

"Haldir, should we bring him down now? He wont be such an irritation since-"

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"

Haldir gave a pointed look at his companion.

"Never mind."

Kelsey/Aragorn/Gimli/Legolas?Gandalf

So now Gandalf wore all white, and Kelsey was puzzled. Was he getting married? Was he a fairy? Only people getting married and faeries wore all white. Kelsey proceeded to ask him this, making him laugh until he wheezed.

"No, I am neither a faerie nor am I getting married. I wear white because I am the image of what Saruman could have been."

"...oh...Why are we going to Rohan?"

"Saruman's armies are mobilizing, we need to warn Rohan of their coming."

"...oh...umm...what if the enemy captures me since I know the future and all?"

"Then you will be tortured until you reveal what they wish to know."

"...oh...shit..."

"I wont allow that to happen, Kelsey," said Legolas, using his new-found weapon.

Kelsey sighed happily. Legolas smirked to himself. Gandalf started to whistle, and a gorgeous white horse galloped up. Kelsey ran to pet him, and Shadowfax neighed happily. Carrying Gandalf around without petting was getting on Shadowfax's nerves. A plan formed in his equine mind. When Gandalf came to mount him, he shied away and went next to Kelsey. This game continued until Gandalf gave up.

"Fine," he snapped. "Kelsey, you will ride Shadowfax. I will ride behind Aragorn, since my mount has lost his mind. Pride of the king's stables, my beard. Humfph."

Kelsey was in her element. She graciously mounted her noble steed, then let out a shriek as he bolted towards Rohan. The males shook their heads and went off after her. After about an hour of heavy riding, they arrived at the horse capitol of middle earth. They all walked up the long stairs, Kelsey puffing. By the time she reached the top, Gandalf was talking to Saruman inside of the king.

"BE GONE!"

Somehow the moldy old crusty king dude turned into a younger less moldy king dude. Éowyn was happy, and assisted her uncle. Kelsey had noticed with jealousy how Éowyn had looked at Aragorn. This was HER half of the fellowship, Damnit! Éowyn could go find her own burly menfolk to protect her from being tortured.

Gandalf gave his rousing speech, and the new non-crusty king was thinking it over when Kelsey spoke up.

"If you call for aid-"

"Silence! Women do not speak in matters of state."

"Oh no he didn't!" said Kelsey, warning her friends.

"Kelsey, he didn't mean-"

Unfortunately, Aragorn wasn't quick enough to stop Kelsey. She dodged his hands, grabbed a random object on the table and stuffed it in the esteemed monarch's mouth.

"WOMEN ARE JUST AS SMART AS MEN, MAYBE IF YOU KNEW THAT YOU WOULDN'T HAVE BEEN DRIED OUT AND CRUSTY AND POSSESED LIKE IN THE EXORCIST!"

At this point, the king's guard dragged Kelsey off of their sovereign and he removed the weasel from his mouth.