Strawberry: Did you enjoy the chapter? I can't believe I was that stupid. I told you I wouldn't tell you my username and that you would have to read to fink out. I forgot I was the one how wrote the story. I thought Ellen submitted it under her username. Oh well! I have no idea what you thought of the chapter because I'm writing the day after I submitted it. I will also not be using the same characters as Ellen did I'll be using Suze, and a surprise guest. Ooooooo who could it be? So if you didn't read what I was saying for the other story I'm doing this one under WHO WANTS TO BE A MILLIONAIRE. I'm using Regis for this because he is so much funnier than that whatever-her-name is lady who's hosting. Okie Artichokeys! Here's the next story:
Regis: These stunts have been done by and are supervised by trained professionals. They are extremely dangerous and should not be attempted by anyone, anywhere, anyti- oh wait, what? Ohhhhhh… this isn't Fear Factor. Sorry about that folks! Let's introduce our first contestant……. Susannah Simon!
Suze walks out and admires the pretty lights, walks toward camera
Suze: Hi mom!
Regis: Suze, could you come here?
Suze: humming Mary had a Little Lamb to herself, walks over to chair
Whoa, dude…. I'm on tv!
Regis: So Suze, before we start tell us about yourself-
Suze: Well, it all started when I was a born in Puerto Rico…
Regis: (sarcastically) WOOOOOW!
Suze: No! Of course not Mr. Trump! Why would I have used your pet iguana Frankie as a hammer? No! NO! DON'T FIRE ME! PLEASE!
Regis: That's err… nice Suze.
freaky music starts and lights flash
Suze: becomes extremely paranoid EGAD! THE ELVES HAVE RETURNED!
Regis: I don't see any elves.
Regis: No.
Suze: twitches so they all say………. Can I borrow your car?
Suze: Your microwave?
Regis: No
Suze: Your wig?
Regis: No… I mean I don't… your so freakin' confusing! Uhhhhh….. Soooo… do you have any loved ones in the audience?
Suze: Yes, I brought my stuffed animal, Ricardo, and my 2001 Ford Mustang.
Regis: You brought a car and a stuffed animal… I see. Do you, Ricardo, and Mustang like to say anything?
Ricardo: ………………………-
Suze: Ricardo, that's enough, I think Regis has heard enough.
Ford Mustang: COMMERCIAL TIME! COMMERCIAL TIME! GEICO….. 15
MINUTES COULD SAVE YOU 15 OR MORE ON CAR INSURANCE!
DRIVE ME SUZE! WE CAN RUN OVER PEDESTRIANS AND WHEN THE COPS COME WE'LL BE ALL LIKE "REGIS OWNS THIS CAR, WE ONLY RAN OVER
1,000,000,000,0000 SQUIRELS, CANTALOUPES, AND CLOWNS. IS THAT A CRIME?!?!?
Regis: Okay, let's get to your first question. (music and lights come on)
In the nursery rhyme, Jack and Jill, what do the characters go up the hill to fetch?
an infection C. High School yearbook of 1962-63
a pail of water D. None of the above
Suze: AW MAN THIS IS AHARD ONE! CAN I PHONE A FRIEND!!!!
Regis: Okay, who would you like to phone?
Suze: My favorite buddy, Shmutslingchopkoflitwerheimer Lee. (Sorry if I used your name I know it is a really common name.)
Regis: Ok then, let's get Shmutslingchopkoflitwerheimer on the line.
Shmutslingchopkoflitwerheimer: Hello?
Suze: HELLO FRIEND! HOW ARE YOU TODAY!?!
Shmutslingchopkoflitwerheimer: NO! DUDE! SHE'S ALL WEIRD, DUDE! SHE LIKE DRANK ALL MY BEER, BURNED MY GUITAR FOR HEAT, AND A LOT MORE!
Regis: Sorry, Suze your seconds are up, pick an answer.
Suze: I'd like the two-eleven wise men.
Regis: You mean the three wise men? Sorry, that's super million-
Suze: SO YOU'RE ACCUSING ME OF SOMETHING!?! OH YEAH REGIS, HOW NICE! GOD! YOU ARE SO INSULTING, PURPLE, SHIMIEGKLDSOFA, AND, XYLOPHONE!
Regis: Suze Suze Suze, Fear is apparently a factor for you.
Suze: (gone wild runs into audience) HEY YOU! YEAH YOU! Shmutslingchopkoflitwerheimer LEE. I KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMER AND IF YOU DON'T DO AS I SAY I'LL TELL DR. PHIL!
Shmutslingchopkoflitwerheimer: NO PLEASE! I'LL DO ANYTHING!
Suze: I'd like to phone
Regis: (dials) TV screen says "We are sorry we could not dial Big Bird would you like to phone the Boohbah or Teletubbies?
Suze: THE TELEUBBIES! YEAH I'D LIKE TO PHONE THEM!
Teletubbies come on line
Teletubbies: EH OH! EH OH! EH OH! OOOHH WUDDAT!
Narrator: It's Regis Philbin.
Teletubbies eat SARS infested tubby custard before they can answer.
Suze mysteriously vanishes, CBS will air full story on CBS 10 o'clock news.
Regis: It seems like Suze has disapperare from the show. Let's meet our new contestant GRANDPA SLATER!
(Grandpa Slater walks out and sits on chair)
Grandpa Slater: WHOA! I THINK I WON BINGO NIGHT!
Regis: No, this is who wants to be a fear factor.
Grandpa Slater: Ohhh….
(2 hours later)
Grandpa Slater: Am I in heaven?
Regis: Okkkkkkk… First question.
Who-
Grandpa Slater: I'll always remember you Margie. (dies)
Regis: Okay we're out of time tune in next week for the next episodes of WHO WANTS TO BE A MILLIONAIRE?
Teletubbies awakened from their death and start shooting everybody with paintball guns.
Teletubbies: YAY! TELETUBBY GUN!
Audience: AHHHHHH!
The End.
I know you all think we're on drugs. Well we are. Which ones? ALL OF COURSE! Sorry if there is spelling/grammatical errors I didn't have time to check it over. Oh yeah. I got to give credit to my brother for helping me out (he made me do that). REVIEW! REVIEW!