A/N: some of the stuff in the last chappie was carolyn's idea. She rants to me at school, and I use it sometimes. XD. REVIEW!!! And there's a few disclaimers around here somewhere, look in other chappies if you want one.

Jenneva/Frodo/Sam/Carolyn/Gollum/Sméagol can you believe the spellchecker wants it to be seagull

Carolyn was getting antsy. She was going to meet Faramir soon, and her eyebrows still hadn't grown back. Her hair was semi-normal, but her eyebrows were non-existent. Jenneva's hair was restored to almost normality as well. Something in the lembas bread, they had decided. And though Jen's hair had grown back, Gollum was still in love with her. Back to her problems. Faramir.

And as Carolyn was thinking, Gollum popped up with two dead rabbits in his mouth.

"Look what Sméagol found!" And laid one in Jenneva's lap and one in Frodo's.

"Stop that, you'll make them sick!" yelled Sam, grabbing the rabbits and threw them in a cookpot.

"There's only one way to cook a brace of conies. If we only had some taters."

"What's taters, precious?" asked Gollum curiously.

"You know, po-ta-toes. Boil em, mash em, stick em in a stew."

"Look Sam, oliphants!" Frodo yelled, breaking up the impending fight.

"Oooooh, aaaaaaaaah," the whole group oo-ed and ah-ed.

All of a sudden, someone grabbed Carolyn's shoulder. She reacted instinctively and stun gunned them, then the two guys with him.

"Shit, its Faramir!"

"Carolyn, what are we gonna do with him? We can't just leave him here, and we can't tie him up or anything, there's no rope. And if we bring him with us, there's no way to keep him with us."

"Oh yes there is." Carolyn has a devious mind.

Merry/Pippin

"Lets get the ents to destroy Isenguard."

"Sounds good to me...I'm hungry."

Kelsey/Legolas/Aragorn/Gimli/Gandalf

"I'm going to ride out and find Éomer. Look for me by first light on the fifth day DAMNIT SHADOWFAX, LEMME ON!"

"Gandalf, how about I go?" suggested Kelsey. "I'm lighter, Shadowfax likes me, I've actually meet Éomer before, I know where they are, kinda, and you can help with the battle here, where as I'd be in the back with all the women and children because SOMEONE is a sexist bastard."

"Well...Kelsey, this is an important task-"

"I know, the entire fate of Middle earth hangs on this, cause if you guys die, Frodo loses. But if you stay, Gandalf, you can save Haldir. When Aragorn yells to fall back, don't let Haldir get his head split open. Got it? And Aragorn, stay away from Éowyn. She's a bitch, and you're already taken, remember? Now, rig a compass to point to Éomer or something so I can leave."

"Kelsey, it's too dangerous. As your assigned protector, I-"

"Shut up, Legolas." And with that, Kelsey threw her arms around his neck and gave him a thorough kissing. When she was done, she took Gandalf's compass thingy, mounted Shadowfax, and headed off to find Éomer.

"Well, we finally got rid of her," said Gimli, with a worried look on his face.

"She'll be fine," Aragorn said uncertainly.

"Her tongue is weird," said Legolas with a decidedly odd look on his face.

Jenneva/Frodo/Sam/Carolyn/Gollum/Sméagol/Faramir/two other random guys

Faramir woke up slowly. Remembering what had happened, he cracked open one eye to assess the situation. Seeing only two girls and two children, he sprang up and started to run away. Until he noticed it was a bit breezy. He looked down, and realized he wasn't wearing any pants. HE ran back to his captors and demanded in a whiny voice

"Where are my pants?"

Carolyn looked at him and almost giggled. He was just TOO cute.

"I don't know, Gollum's around here somewhere. Gollum! Sméagol! Come here!"

And with that Gollum came skidding into the clearing, wearing Faramir's pants on his head. Those cheezits had really done something to his brain. Faramir chased him around awhile until he realized he wouldn't catch the gangly little bugger. He looked at his captors, preparing to plead for some kind of covering (he was quite modest) when he noticed one of the girls didn't have any eyebrows.

How exotic (A/N: Carolyn's) he thought, and immediately regretted it, because he wasn't wearing pants. In his thin boxers, his...um...sticky-uppy-thing was obvious. Upon seeing it, the girls shrieked.

"Gollum, give him back his pants! Put it away!" yelled Jenneva.

"Shut it off, shut it off," screeched Carolyn. She had plans for him, and was not about to get on his bad side.

After Faramir had his pants on and his face turned back to a normal color, he calmly asked "who are you, why have you taken me prisoner and what do you intend to do with me?"

Carolyn grinned evilly.