As Seen On TV By HamClover

Disclaimer-I do not own Hamtaro or any of its' characters. If did, I would be a rich little girl. Blair, Nero, Stefan, and all other made up characters are owned and created by HamClover.

::::::::::::::::::: Author's Note :::::::::::::::::

This is gonna be tough, I can tell you that. I'm planning for this fic to be fairly long, and I am just hoping I can simply finish it in time! Since school is starting soon, chapters won't be updated every single day. Every other day is the soonest you can expect these chapters out, peoples. I also have to tell you that this plot is really based off me in RL. I do a lot of drama, and going into high school, plan to try out for the plays. They are much bigger than the ones I am used to, and I know for a fact that there is often kissing in it! Well, one of my biggest fears is that someday I will land a role where I have to kiss someone in it, but yet that will be the first time kissing someone! Okay, yeah, laugh all you want, but I just decided to turn a little fear of mine and turn it into fanfiction. So you can sort of call this "based on a true story"!

Chapter One .:The Snack Table From Hell:.

For anyone with any taste, or any common sense for that matter, would not go near the snack table in that studio. It was like the devil. Pure evil for any weight-watching actress. Snacks, snacks, and more snacks. It seemed "the snack table of everything evil" was more suited for the stage crew. Not for anyone as pure and wonderful as Sparkle.

"What is all this!?" Sparkle, in her normal mood again, squeaked.

Standing in front of the snack table, she was staring coldly at all the fatty delicacies.

"Well, Miss Sparkle, this is what people would call food." A middle-aged female hamster answered. She was off-white in color with a few tan spots here and there. She wore tiny granny-glasses and her long dark brown hair was tied into a neat bun. With almost too perfect of posture, she looked more suited to a tiny cubicle. Blair.

Sparkle gave Blair a cold stare.

"Well, duh! I know its' food!" Sparkle snapped, her nose scrunched up in a snobby manner. "What do you think I think it is!? Blubber?"

Blair rolled her eyes and adjusted her granny glasses.

"No, Miss Sparkle, I don't, but I think you'd like to know that blubber is often a delicacy in places such as Alaska." She stated.

"Pssh! Those weird Eskimos can have all the blubber they want! I want my food!" Sparkle retorted.

Blair looked at her clipboard, which was with her at all times, and then looked at Sparkle.

"Yes, Miss, your usual is right where it always is. On the snack table."

Sparkle gave Blair an "I knew that, idiot" looked as she reached for the bag of Atkins' Approved sunflower seeds. Pouring a few in a bowl, she then reached out for a bottle of mustard. And when she was just about to pour the mustard on her sunflower seeds, Sparkle stopped short. Gawking at the mustard's logo.

"...what...type of....mustard is this!?" She cried, her hand shaking in frustration.

"Well Miss," Blair began, "That is-"

"NOT GREY POUPON!"

"Oh my. Well we might have made a mistake there."

"BUT I REFUSE TO HAVE MY USUAL UNLESS THE MUSTARD IS GREY POUPON!!!! HOW THE HELL DO YOU THINK I AM TO SURVUVE OFF THIS NORMAL PERSON MUSTARD!???!!!!"

"Miss Sparkle it tastes just like your favorite brand, I even tried it fo-"

"YOU ARE SUCH A DOLT!" Sparkle exploded, her face nearly red with anger. "I WANT MY GREY POUPON, DAMMIT!"

Blair sighed and checked her clipboard again.

"I'm sorry, we seem to have run out of your favorite mustard. You make due with what you have or don't." She said calmly. She felt like she was talking to a three-year old. Sparkle scrunched her nose up again and folding her arms, abruptly turned the other away.

"Well," The snootily began, "If you cannot provide me with my precious Grey Poupon, then I know who will...INTERN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

After Sparkle's scream filled the studio, a hamster came scrambling around the corner as if he were running for his life. When he arrived by Sparkle's side, he panted, "What...do you want?"

"I want Grey Poupon!" Sparkle shouted for the millionth time.

The hamster, a slightly chubby little fellow with tan fur, looked wearily at Blair. Blair shook her head.

"Ummm....." The hamster stuttered.

Sparkle sighed and folded her arms.

"Well, if Blair can't get Grey Poupon, then I would expect you, of all, interns, Nero!"

The intern named Nero looked at the ground and sighed.

"Sorry, Sparkle" Nero apologized. His gaze quickly shifted from the ground to Sparkle's ever growing crueler face.

"But," He began, "Stefan said he wanted to see you in his office. He said it was something about a change in the script." After saying so, Nero quickly lost eye contact with Sparkle and twiddled his thumbs nervously.

Shoving the Grey Poupon-less bowl of sunflower seeds at Nero, Sparkle trotted off to meet with Stefan. When she was out of hearing range, Nero stood up and looked wearily at Blair. He popped a few sunflower seeds in his mouth.

"Why'd we say we didn't have any Grey Poupon? I knew we did." Nero asked; mouth full.

Blair smiled at last and answered, "Oh, it's fun just to see her break down."

Nero swallowed his snack and with a board smile nodded.

Blair set her paws on her hips and looked over towards Stefan's office.

"And wait till' she hears what Stefan has to tell her about the changes in the script. This ought to get interesting..."