Ka0.012: ::poke poke::
Ryo: LEAVE ME ALONE!
Bakura: and quit poking him!
kao: ::poke poke::
Ryo: ::starts crying::
kao: ::poke poke::
Bakura: hey! Go away!
kao: ::poke poke::
Bakura: okay okay! This is a yaoi fic and ka0.012 doesn't own yu gi oh. Are you happy now?!
kao: btw, if something's written as a flashback, a will be typed around it. Kinda like this:
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kao: ::poke poke::
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kao: okay? okay! lets get the story started!
This is My Life. . . .
. . . It's Different from Yours
chapt.1 - love sucks
(Baku's POV)
It. . . . hurts. Bad.
Everything hurts all over.
I'm being greedy and selfish when I say this, but. . . . I want my hikari back. . . . I miss him.
I really miss him. . . .
It's been about three or four weeks now. . . . I'm not exactly sure, I haven't been keeping track. It's been almost about a month since Ryou left. I don't even understand why.
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"WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN DOING TO HIM, BAKURA?!?!" I heard Yami scream.
Ryou had his shirt removed (with much resistance), exposing many scars all over his fragile body. Yami continued forcing off Ryou's pants, revealing even more numerous scars and bruises.
I just stared. Did I really do all that to him?
Ryo just stood there, blushing hard, looking down at his socks, tears pouring out form his eyes. Just moments before we (me, Ryou, pharaoh and all the other idiots they hang out with) were playing a game of cards when that clumsy Jou or whatever his name is lost balance and fell on top of my hikari. With Ryou screaming out in pain, the damned pharaoh immediately knew something was wrong and stripped off Ryou's shirt, showing all the marks that should've proved I was 'mistreating' him again. But it didn't.
And this is why.
All the other fools were still babbling on things like 'What happened, Ryou?" "did Bakura do this?" and etc. when poor Ryou finally managed to say something. I never expected something like this.
"Guys. . . . it wasn't Bakura. . . . "
"WHAT?!" everyone shouted in unison.
Yea, what? I thought to myself.
". . . . um. . . .I. . . . I-I did this. . . . to me. . .. "
Once again, I just stared.
"b-but. . . . why, Ryou?" I heard Yugi whisper.
"Just because. . . . "
"Is it because of Bakura?" I heard the pharaoh speak.
"NO! it has nothing to do with my yami. . . . I did this. . . .all by myself. Bakura has nothing to do with it. . . . " he tried to grin sheepishly, trying to give it off as nothing. . . . but we all kept staring at him and his body.
How I wish that they had known the truth. . . .
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Tears started trickling down my cheeks. Yes, that's right, me. Bakura, was crying. But I couldn't help it, Ryou was gone. The next day they forced him to the mental place, where people try to "help" you, as they like to say. That. . . . stupid. . . . asylum! Damn it!
I don't even understand why he did it. He could have gone the easier way. The much easier way, he could have told them the truth, that it really was me that was hurting him. He wouldn't have to go through all the crap he's going through right now, and even better. . . . he wouldn't have to deal with me.
If he had just told the truth. . . . then nobody would think he was crazy. I'd be in the shadow realm or somewhere other than here, in his house. He'd be living a normal life for once, without me. He would've had it so much better off. Why did he say that he was intentionally hurting himself?
Everything's just so. . . . so confusing.
I started crying a little harder when I suddenly heard the phone ring. And ring, and ring and ring. Finally I got mad enough to pick it up and explode at the speaker on the other line.
"WHAT?!?! WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT, QUIT CALLING ALREADY!"
". . . . " silence. Then, "Bakura?"
I stood, stunned. "R-Ryou?"
"Bakura, are you okay?"
"I could be asking you the same question!"
He sounded upset with me.
"I'm fine, but how have you been? Yami and Yugi told me that you locked yourself up in the house. They said that you've just been sitting there crying. . . . are you okay at all?"
. . . . How can I be okay?! The one and possibly only person that I love and will ever love is supposedly insane because of ME. Many thoughts passed by, but this one was the loudest.
"Bakura?" I heard.
"N-no."
"Bakura, why are you, of all people so upset? If this is your idea of a sick joke, cut it out."
I loved him. Of course I would fucking be upset! But I can't tell him that. . . . he'd just laugh probably. . . . or be more scared than ever. Damn.
I never really meant to hurt him in the first place. The first time I did it, I wasn't even mad at HIM, but at someone else. . . . but then it actually felt good for some reason. To have all my anger out. All of it. I didn't really want to. . . . how I wish that I never beat him in the first place. After that, after each beating I used to tell myself 'it's too late now. . . . you can't apologize for what you've done.' So I kept doing it. But I didn't want to.
Tears rolled down even harder now as I heard Ryou continuously asking "hello? Bakura are you still there?" until finally I answered back.
"Y-yea, I'm here. Did you need anything from home?"
"No, I just wanted to. . . . to say hi, and just see how you were doing."
I wanted to talk to him. I wanted to ask him why he didn't tell everyone I was hurting him, I wanted so much just to be able to speak with him but. . . .
"Hey R-Ryou. . . . d-don't. . . . don't call back." I hung up.
It's confusing, isn't it? I love him but I tell him to never call back again. Yeah well life's confusing, get over it. I just. . . . I just didn't want him talking to someone like me. . . .
And for the eleventh time that day, I fell down and cried.
(Ryou's POV)
"Ryou. . . . don't call back."
I heard a small click sound as my yami hung up. I started crying. Crying has become one of my most daily habits now. Now that I'm away from Bakura.
I fell to the floor, wondering why he didn't want me to call back. . . . then I finally got it registered.
He doesn't want me. He doesn't want me around, he doesn't want anything to do with me. He hates me. . ..
All I ever really wanted was his love. And this is what I get. Am I asking for too much?
. . . . you know what, I am. I guess I don't deserve him. After all, he's so much. . . . better. . . . than me.
I sigh, burrowing my face into my knees, still crying.
I remember an incident not too long ago when everyone finally found out that Bakura was still abusing me. Well actually, they don't know that. They think I did it. Good. It better stay that way. You're probably thinking I am really crazy aren't you? Making myself look bad when it was really Bakura that hurt me. Well you know what love is crazy. That's right, I love my yami, Bakura. I'd never dare tell him though; he'd kill me. But even if he caused some misfortunes in my life, and also that he beats me, I still love him. I don't know why, I just do. . . . There's just something about him that drives me crazy for him.
But it doesn't matter, he hates me. He's probably living up his life now, now that I'm gone. What Yugi and Yami said must've been a lie, just to cheer me up. Bakura would never be crying, especially not for me. No doubt about it.
Sobbing, I tried to get up in this "prison" as I like to call it. This damned mental asylum's going to really drive me crazy if I stay here any longer I swear.
I cry a little bit longer, until I finally fall asleep.
When I woke up, it was around 5, 6, or 6:30 am. I looked around the room for no apparent reason until I got up and headed for the door. I was about to put my hand on the knob when it opened before me. There stood a lady with a clipboard at hand.
"You've got a roomie," she informed rather bluntly. "I'll leave you two in peace to commute. Go ahead, mingle." She turned and left.
I stared at my "roomie" as I saw him toss his suitcase onto his bed and jump onto mine.
"SO!" he started. "How have you been?"
Dumbfounded, I kept staring, making me feel awkward even though he kept on smiling.
"Malik?!"
"No, I'm the pharaoh. Trust me." he said sarcastically.
"Why are you in here?" I asked.
He simply shrugged. "I don't know. Just bored, I guess. I heard you were here so I decided to sign up to keep you company. These places have a tendency to turn people crazy for real."
Heh, my thoughts exactly.
"Plus, I kinda have a tendency to burn myself a little so Isis made me come."
"You burn yourself?"
"No, I strut around acting all high and mighty so now they put me in the mental house." He mocked, walking around with his hands on his hips acting like Yami.
I giggled. "So I'm guessing you're still not over the pharaoh thing. . . . "
"Nope. I still wanna be Mr. Mighty."
"When will you ever give up?"
"NEVER!" he smiled childishly as he jumped from my bed to his. "So. . . . I heard everyone saw your body. How come Bakura's not in here?"
Malik's the only one I willingly showed my scars to. He's my best friend, I can talk to him about anything. Heck, he could probably write an entire biography on me.
"Long story."
"Do you actually believe that we'll be getting out of here anytime soon?"
He had a good point.
"well, pretty much, Yami saw all the scars and stuff that Bakura did. I just told everyone that I did it, and that Bakura had nothing to do with it. So now, here I am."
"Oh."
I sat down on my bed. And we sat. For a long time, too, until finally, "I don't understand why you don't just tell him that you like him."
"Malik, we've been through this a million times."
"ah whatever."
Suddenly he came over to my bed and climbed on top of me. And kissed me.
"MALIK! What do you think you're doing?!"
"Kissing you." He said it like it was an everyday thing.
"What? Why?! You already know that I love Bakura!"
"Yea, maybe but think about it: you're never going to tell him, I'm already hopeless, what better chance do we have but each other?"
He had a point, but still. . . .
He started attacking my neck and moved up a little and started sucking gently on my lip. I groaned, not really meaning to, and that encouraged him. I didn't really want to do this, but. . . . I couldn't find any reason to stop him. So we did this for like maybe an hour or more. Probably more. Okay fine it was for about two and a half hours. Not really a long time. Right?
I woke up the next morning with Malik still on top of me. He didn't actually do anything to me while I was out, did he? Not thinking straight, I sat up, awaking the dazed boy from his slumber by accident.
"Oops."
"hhnnn?" he sat up on my lap, his legs still wrapped around me. Well, at least we both had our clothes on. That's always a good sign. Don't get me wrong, Malik's my best friend and all, but sometimes he can get a little too friendly. . . .
"wake up" I said.
"Yea ok sure. Whatever." He immediately fell back asleep, his head leaning on my chest. Even though he was older than me, I could still swear that he was so childish sometimes. Then again, it was actually kinda. . . . cute.
I sighed.
Laying back down I caught a glimpse of the clock. It read 8:30 am. What day is it today? I think it's Thursday. . . . Great. I have therapy on Thursdays.
Having an Egyptian lying on me did make it feel a little better though. I fell asleep with ease, my arms coiled around Malik's body.
Sigh. Stupid therapy.
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Kao: so! How did you like it so far?
Ryou: not a lot.
Kao: don't make me get my poking stick out again!
Ryou: PLEASE REVIEW! She's hiding the anti-poking creme from me!