A/N: Hello again to all my friends. I'm glad you came to play. And we
haven't even gotten into the fun part of the game yet... which, by the way,
does NOT include lemon of any kind. After all, this is fanfiction.net. And
I just don't write that stuff. Anyway, I guess I should provide you with a
few notes... At this point, I've come to the conclusion that this is an AU
fic somewhere where the American high school meets Japan. I have every
respect for the Japanese culture, as well as any other culture you could
name, but I just can't write what I originally intended to write, for the
purpose I originally intended to write it, unless we all just plow through
this one schoolday, however difficult it maybe, for the sake of our beloved
protagonist, Yukito. As for the *tiny* bit of Japanese I threw in:
"Sensei", for those of you who don't already know, means "teacher". And
"shimatta!" is an interjection expressing unpleasant surprise. Depending on
the tone of voice, its meaning can be anywhere from "oh no!" to "dammit!" I
can't imagine our Yuki-chan using it so harshly, in fact I'm not sure he'd
say it at all, but bear in mind that he's really stressed this morning. And
it's early for both of us. Like 4:30 am early, for me at least. Oh, the
things I do for love and lack of sleep... That said, I hope you all enjoy
this segment of "The Dance", and if you do, review! Happy Hanukkah!
Chapter 2: The Preparation
I slam my locker shut and am already halfway down the hall before I notice I've forgotten to get my books. Geez, and this is only second period. I wonder how long I can possibly last... I didn't see Touya before school started, since I had slept in and was running so late Grandma had told Touya to go on ahead without me. At this rate, I probably can't see him until lunch, although today is the first day within memory that I'm not sure whether that's a good or bad thing.
CLANG!!! Oh, crap. I'm so far away in Forever-With-Touya land that I've forgotten where my physical body is. That was the bell! I'm running as fast as I can, but there's no way sensei will let me get away with this... Shimatta! Just what I need, a detention on the last day of school before Winter Break. And the day of The Dance, no less. However, as I enter the room, panting hard, I'm told that as my Christmas gift, sensei won't mark me tardy today. This is certainly not the first sigh of relief I've breathed today.
A few grueling classes later, it's finally lunchtime. Too cold to eat outside, so I stay inside. I grab my food and had over to Touya's classroom, hoping I can finally see him. My wish is granted, and I spend the rest of the lunch insisting that, since he paid for the tickets, let me take care of dinner. He finally concedes, and I tell him to be at my place no later that 6:30 tonight, but I don't want to see him from until he arrives. Nodding, I bid him farewell. "'Bye, To-ya!" Why does his name always come out like that? I'm blushing as I run out the door. Wonder if he noticed...
I'm finally home, and I've decided to lie down and let myself think awhile before getting ready for him. Touya... See, I can think his name just fine, but the moment it touches my lips, it becomes "To-ya". The moment Touya touches my lips... How I long for such a moment. I'm sure it would be pure bliss, even if it's the only kiss I ever get from my beloved. If it is, I'll only treasure it that much more. You know, tongues are involved in forming words, too. Touya touching my tongue... God, I can't even imagine. It would be my first French kiss, and... Let's not go there, however much I want to. If I start to think of him like that, I feel like I'm using him, you know? And I'd never use Touya.
That's the thing I'm worried about the most, that if I tell Touya how I feel, it'll hurt him. Touya would be hurt because of my selfishness; I just can't bear that thought. And yet, would he want me hurt because of my "unselfishness"? Because I'm only thinking of how he would feel, would he dislike me pushing myself so hard? I feel like my secret is already harming our relationship, and yet I'm not sure if hiding it or finally telling it would make it worse. Or am I just afraid that telling would take away what I want, and I don't care about doing what's best for Touya? Of course, I know it's not completely that, but I do have some selfish reasons for my confession...
I want to tell partly because I can't stand it anymore. I feel like I'm going crazy, like nothing will ever be alright for us unless I tell him. It's an obsessive-compulsive feeling, that I have to do this or some evil will descend upon the both of us. And one of the things I'm most afraid of: if I tell him, will he stop saying "I love you."? Now I know that's selfish, and yet it's one of my only arguments against my ultimate Selfish Thing. But now that I think about it, do I really, in my heart of hearts, want him to continue saying "I love you" but not mean it the way I want him to mean it? Honestly, do I? No. Thinking of it like that, it's easy. The guy has no clue what the things he says do to me, and he would want to know that it hurts me. And I realize now that, while it does feel really good at first (as Sakura says, "floaty"), after a while it hurts me more than the initial high could ever heal. Now I know what I have to do, all that's left is the doing...
5:15!?%$#@! Yup, I looked at the clock again to verify the time. I mean, I know I'm a deep thinker, but 5:15??? I can't believe I still haven't started getting ready! Realizing that with less than an hour and a half to dress, decorate, and set the table, I was just not going to have time to cook. I look up the number of a catering place that delivers food from whatever restaurant you choose to your home, and decide upon Italian. "Yes, I'd like five sampler platters from La Bella Italiana... Mmm hmm. Tsukishiro. ...Yes, what vintage would you suggest? Alright, we'll try it. Yes. Thank you." They knew my address very well. My typical order from Bella Italiana consisted of several fettucine alfredos (my *very* favorite pasta) and some breadsticks with marinara, and I'd certainly never ordered wine before. But Touya likes lasagna, and the sampler consists of a half- serving each of both of our favorite dishes, as well as one of the best spaghetti-and-meatballs you could ever hope to taste in a lifetime. Two and a half servings each should satisfy us.
Right. Now it's time to get dressed. Shutting the door to my room, a shuck my outer garments. Retrieving my wardrobe from the closet, I smile. Touya is sure to like this. I pull on the pants, crisp and white. Over my undershirt I button a light blue dress shirt. The collar is still quite stiff, but it looks so sharp I could care less. I lace around my neck a tie of deep lavender, then button down the flaps of the collar to secure it. A white dress jacket that perfectly matches the pants completes the ensemble. Glancing in the mirror even for a second delights me; I look stunning. Happily, I spin around in front of the mirror, admiring myself from every angle. Touya is sure to like this...
Suddenly, I hear the doorbell. Touya can't be here yet; it must be the food. I grab my money and rush downstairs excitedly. Outside, the snow continues to blanket the world in white in preparation for the coming holiday. I wonder if Touya is looking out and thinking the same thing...
I slam my locker shut and am already halfway down the hall before I notice I've forgotten to get my books. Geez, and this is only second period. I wonder how long I can possibly last... I didn't see Touya before school started, since I had slept in and was running so late Grandma had told Touya to go on ahead without me. At this rate, I probably can't see him until lunch, although today is the first day within memory that I'm not sure whether that's a good or bad thing.
CLANG!!! Oh, crap. I'm so far away in Forever-With-Touya land that I've forgotten where my physical body is. That was the bell! I'm running as fast as I can, but there's no way sensei will let me get away with this... Shimatta! Just what I need, a detention on the last day of school before Winter Break. And the day of The Dance, no less. However, as I enter the room, panting hard, I'm told that as my Christmas gift, sensei won't mark me tardy today. This is certainly not the first sigh of relief I've breathed today.
A few grueling classes later, it's finally lunchtime. Too cold to eat outside, so I stay inside. I grab my food and had over to Touya's classroom, hoping I can finally see him. My wish is granted, and I spend the rest of the lunch insisting that, since he paid for the tickets, let me take care of dinner. He finally concedes, and I tell him to be at my place no later that 6:30 tonight, but I don't want to see him from until he arrives. Nodding, I bid him farewell. "'Bye, To-ya!" Why does his name always come out like that? I'm blushing as I run out the door. Wonder if he noticed...
I'm finally home, and I've decided to lie down and let myself think awhile before getting ready for him. Touya... See, I can think his name just fine, but the moment it touches my lips, it becomes "To-ya". The moment Touya touches my lips... How I long for such a moment. I'm sure it would be pure bliss, even if it's the only kiss I ever get from my beloved. If it is, I'll only treasure it that much more. You know, tongues are involved in forming words, too. Touya touching my tongue... God, I can't even imagine. It would be my first French kiss, and... Let's not go there, however much I want to. If I start to think of him like that, I feel like I'm using him, you know? And I'd never use Touya.
That's the thing I'm worried about the most, that if I tell Touya how I feel, it'll hurt him. Touya would be hurt because of my selfishness; I just can't bear that thought. And yet, would he want me hurt because of my "unselfishness"? Because I'm only thinking of how he would feel, would he dislike me pushing myself so hard? I feel like my secret is already harming our relationship, and yet I'm not sure if hiding it or finally telling it would make it worse. Or am I just afraid that telling would take away what I want, and I don't care about doing what's best for Touya? Of course, I know it's not completely that, but I do have some selfish reasons for my confession...
I want to tell partly because I can't stand it anymore. I feel like I'm going crazy, like nothing will ever be alright for us unless I tell him. It's an obsessive-compulsive feeling, that I have to do this or some evil will descend upon the both of us. And one of the things I'm most afraid of: if I tell him, will he stop saying "I love you."? Now I know that's selfish, and yet it's one of my only arguments against my ultimate Selfish Thing. But now that I think about it, do I really, in my heart of hearts, want him to continue saying "I love you" but not mean it the way I want him to mean it? Honestly, do I? No. Thinking of it like that, it's easy. The guy has no clue what the things he says do to me, and he would want to know that it hurts me. And I realize now that, while it does feel really good at first (as Sakura says, "floaty"), after a while it hurts me more than the initial high could ever heal. Now I know what I have to do, all that's left is the doing...
5:15!?%$#@! Yup, I looked at the clock again to verify the time. I mean, I know I'm a deep thinker, but 5:15??? I can't believe I still haven't started getting ready! Realizing that with less than an hour and a half to dress, decorate, and set the table, I was just not going to have time to cook. I look up the number of a catering place that delivers food from whatever restaurant you choose to your home, and decide upon Italian. "Yes, I'd like five sampler platters from La Bella Italiana... Mmm hmm. Tsukishiro. ...Yes, what vintage would you suggest? Alright, we'll try it. Yes. Thank you." They knew my address very well. My typical order from Bella Italiana consisted of several fettucine alfredos (my *very* favorite pasta) and some breadsticks with marinara, and I'd certainly never ordered wine before. But Touya likes lasagna, and the sampler consists of a half- serving each of both of our favorite dishes, as well as one of the best spaghetti-and-meatballs you could ever hope to taste in a lifetime. Two and a half servings each should satisfy us.
Right. Now it's time to get dressed. Shutting the door to my room, a shuck my outer garments. Retrieving my wardrobe from the closet, I smile. Touya is sure to like this. I pull on the pants, crisp and white. Over my undershirt I button a light blue dress shirt. The collar is still quite stiff, but it looks so sharp I could care less. I lace around my neck a tie of deep lavender, then button down the flaps of the collar to secure it. A white dress jacket that perfectly matches the pants completes the ensemble. Glancing in the mirror even for a second delights me; I look stunning. Happily, I spin around in front of the mirror, admiring myself from every angle. Touya is sure to like this...
Suddenly, I hear the doorbell. Touya can't be here yet; it must be the food. I grab my money and rush downstairs excitedly. Outside, the snow continues to blanket the world in white in preparation for the coming holiday. I wonder if Touya is looking out and thinking the same thing...