As Seen On TV By HamClover
:::::::::::::::::::::Author's Note:::::::::::::::::::::
In this A/N I plan to clarify a few things! Yay for clarifying! Ok well in chapter three, that's not an actual chatroom conversation. If it was real and I was "spying", I would be very disturbed, but I'm almost positive something very similar has happened. (Which would still be very nightmarish) There's a plethora of in-jokes in this fic, like Grey Poupon and why this chapter (that you are reading now) is named what it is. I guess you can say if you don't understand some of these jokes, you will figure them out sooner or later, and finally get the joke...yeah. (I watch a lot of the super-hilarious VH1 show "I Love The 80's" (And all the other ones) and that's where I get a lot of my in-jokes here. Watch it! You'll pee your pants!)
Oh yeah, please keep in mind that I am only a 14 year old fangirl and that I do have to go to school. I'm not keeping some sort of update schedule, I'm very sorry to say, I hate bein' on schedules, I am a free spirit! Woo!
Chapter Six .:A Gem and Scout:.
It was a long day for Sparkle and a nice long bath seemed ideal. So she quickly returned to her motel (They were fairly far away from the studio, and Blair didn't have that much money to spare, so they got stuck in a two-star)
After entering the motel bathroom, it didn't seem too ideal anymore.
Sparkle scrunched her nose in disgust, "Ew! You call this a bathroom!?"
After about twenty minutes of complaining on her cell phone to Blair, Sparkle finally decided to just take a bath and get on with her life. When it was ready, she slipped into the tub and let out a sigh of relief.
"Ah, for once, I am alone," She said contently to herself.
She didn't notice the window nearby creaking open.
A black spotted hamster's head peeked through the window. He had that type of childish smirk on his face only a very tolerant mother could love. And he was looking at Sparkle.
"HI!!!!" He obnoxiously shouted.
"AIEEE!!" Sparkle screamed in surprise as she sunk herself deeper in the tub. The hamster in the window stared at her, not sure if he had just drowned her or not.
"Hey, uh are you o-"
"DAMMIT!"
Sparkle grabbed a nearby towel and hopped out of the tub, she was not happy.
"You effin' idiot!" She screamed at the top of her lungs.
The spotted hamster blinked.
"Oh, uh, I'm sorry, I was just wondering what you were doing, that's all,"
Sparkle stomped up to the window and placed her finger on his nose.
"Listen...um, whoever you are! You have no freaking' right to peep! Ever since you were the "lucky guy" on that gay show Nero shoved me in, you've been following me around like a stalker!!!"
The spotted hamster stared cross-eyed at his nose and Sparkle rambled on.
"AND, how did you even find this place!? I thought I told Blair to get a restraining order on you!!"
And with that, Sparkle flicked her finger on his nose. The hamster in the window wiggled his nose and whimpered slightly like a baby. Finally gaining his composure, the spotted hamster cleared his throat and said, "Um, Sparkle, my name is Scout. Don't you remember, the audience thought we were meant to be!"
Sparkle turned around from brushing her hair and sneered at him. "Pshaw!" She commented, "Like we were meant to be! It's more like meant to be apart!"
Scout sighed and adjusted his position. "Oh, why is that??" He asked in an annoying tone of voice.
Sparkle ignored him.
"C'mon, I'm a young, handsome, single guy, and you are a cute, famous, single gal!"
No words from Sparkle's lips. Scout took this as a signal to go on. He now wore a seductive smile.
"We could have a lot of fun, ya' know?"
SMACK
"Get out!"
Scout rubbed his cheek. Whimpering like a puppy, he whined, "Oh, come on! I was only trying to break the ice!"
Sparkle turned around from grooming herself.
"Feh, like that was breaking the ice!? It was more like being an old perverted goose!" She sneered.
Scout ignored her as he attempted to wriggle his way through the window. Sparkle just gawked at him as he did so.
Finally plopping in the room, butt-first, in the sink, Scout looked around the room and rubbed his rear end.
"Man, that sure did hurt my ass!" He exclaimed.
Sparkle ignored him as hard as she possibly could.
Scout leaned forward looking at Sparkle.
"Hey, is your ass alright?" He asked, "Cause' if it isn't, I know how to help it!"
"PERVERT!!!!!"
SMACK (again)
Sparkle had about enough. Pushing the dazed Scout out of the room, she sighed to herself.
'Dang, this is so annoying. I just need to get a kiss by next week, and this has turned into a freaking mess!' She thought to herself angrily.
"Unnyaahh...mommy..." Scout muttered, nearly out cold. Sparkle kicked him slightly to shut him up.
"Damn, you're heavy," She coughed to herself, shoving him out the front door. Through all of Scout's whining, she hadn't heard her cell phone ringing; Nero was on the other line.
"Oh no," Nero muttered, still at the "Mucho Smucho" studio with Blair. He faced Sparkle's assistant with a solemn look. "Sparkle isn't answering. She must have caller ID,"
Blair rolled her eyes, "Well duh," She sighed; it was a long day and all she wanted was some coffee at that point.
Nero sniffed slightly.
"Yeah but she's gonna really be mad," He whispered.
"And why is that??"
"I forgot to tell her to kill me,"
(A/N: Annnd that's the end of chapter 6! Enjoy it? Heh, I don't know if this chapter was amusing enough, but I can tell you the upcoming chapters will be hilarious. I'll give you a hint- politics! Yay!)