As Seen On TV By HamClover
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::Author's Note:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Oh wow Homecoming was great. (No date, just went with friends, it's better that way) My friends and I ate at Chili's before the dance and I was being myself as usual. (I.e. I was pushing French fries into the honey mustard cup and then pouring any topping I could get my paws on in the mix. Then some guys from our school asked if they could have it and ate some!) So then we went to my super-duper crowded school. It was crowded and I found the sight of random people around you making out every six minutes unpleasant, but I had a good time. We were trying to teach one of my guy-that-happens-to-be-a-friend friend how to dance. I have come to the conclusion that guys can't dance. Yeah. Okay well I'll post a pic of me all spruced up in my profile at my forums! Stop on by read my profile and look at me! (I'm not very candid I admit...)
Oh yes, happy birthday to Mable and Celeste. They are now two years old. (As of October 5th) Wow, time sure does fly. For those who have ever read my older much crappier fics, you'll know whom I'm talking about. Never read my old fics? You should. I do, when I need a good laugh!
Chapter Thirteen .:Powder Room:."Orange barrel, orange barrel, orange barrel, orange barrel, orange barrel, orange barrel, orange barrel, orange barrel,"
"You sure you can drive now Blair?" Sparkle asked Blair, who appeared to be fine now and was now driving down the highway.
"Orange barrel, orange barrel, orange barrel, orange barrel, orange barrel, orange barrel, orange barrel, orange barrel,"
"Yes I'm fine," Blair answered with a sigh, "Just a slight headache, but I'm fine, Miss."
"Orange barrel, orange barrel, orange barrel, orange barrel, orange barrel, orange barrel, orange barrel, orange barrel,"
Sparkle smiled a little. "That's good," She said. Blair only nodded.
"Orange barrel, orange barrel, orange barrel, orange barrel, orange barrel, orange barrel, orange barrel, orange barrel,"
"Dude! Nero shut the hell up!"
Nero gasped and cowered slightly like a little kid. Sparkle was leaning over her seat scowling at him like the evil teacher every student feared.
"That dumb orange barrel thing is freaking annoying," Sparkled sneered, turning back around.
Nero sighed as he recollected on the amount of orange barrels he counted. Twenty four to be exact.
"Soo," Began Sparkle, "How much farther? I hate being in a car for so long."
Blair kept her eyes on the road. "Not far....I hope."
"Oh great!" Sparkle moaned, flopping her back on the car seat, which frazzled poor Nero sitting directly behind her. Nero whimpered like a puppy slightly.
"Well it won't be too soon," Said Blair, trying to avoid any conflict between Sparkle and Nero. Sparkle nodding and Nero sighing was the response she received.
"Even though I haven't really achieved what I wanted yet, I am really looking forward to coming home," Sparkle said, drifting off daydreaming about being home with Glitter and living all carefree again. She really wanted that at the moment. Her big welcoming cage, her nice warm bed, her overstocked wardrobe, her vanity fit for a princess. All was waiting for her to come home. Oh and how she looked forward to soaking in a real hot tub, not like the one at that trashy motel. Oh how nice that would be right then and now...
"Can we pull over????" Nero squeaked, snapping Sparkle out of her happy place.
Blair sighed. "...Why?"
"Because I need to go really baaad!" Nero whined in response. Sparkle grumbled to herself in annoyance.
Blair leaned forward in the driver's seat and squinted ahead. "Okay Nero, that sign says a rest stop will be about one mile. Okay?"
"Yes! Yes! Hurry!"
"Yes, hurry!" Sparkle spat, "I don't want Nero pissing in the back seat now, now do I?"
Blair shot an irritated look at Sparkle as she pulled into the rest stop. (AN: I'm not sure if you guys have rest stops on your highways, but in Michigan they are lifesavers, when the time calls for it of course )
As soon as Blair parked her black Honda, Nero jumped out of the car and galloped into the building. Both Blair and Sparkle got out simultaneously and stood next to each other watching Nero scramble like Indiana Jones running from that big rock thingy.
Hand over her forehead to block the sun Sparkle squinted off at him.
"Hey Blair," She said, "How old is Nero anyways?"
Blair, who was the type to remain silent unless spoken to, turned to the girl and smiled slightly, as if think what a silly question to come from her!
"Well," Blair began, shifting her clipboard from one paw to the other, "I believe Nero is the same age as you; older, maybe." Sparkle was quiet for a moment. "Really?" She said. "He doesn't look as old as he does." Blair chuckled a bit, kicking a rock next to her Honda.
"Yeah well not everyone was as fortunate as you were in finding a good job."
Sparkle's smile faded as she glanced at the grinning Blair. "What are you implying?" She asked rather quizzically. Blair shrugged. "Well, oh how do I put this, well you're envied by a lot of people because you have a good job, good pay, and a good home. Lot's of people don't have that."
"What'cha talking about now?"
"Well, you should talk to Nero more often. He's a smart boy, just in the wrong place."
Sparkle kicked a rock this time; is rolled quickly and jumped the curb into a flowerbed.
"He has a lot to say," Blair went on, "He told me he likes working where he does."
"Pssh, really?" Commented Sparkle.
"Yes. He doesn't have a good home life. And he lives in a really bad college with a nasty room mate."
Sparkle was quiet for a moment, thinking about what Blair said. "He...likes his job here?" She asked.
"Well I think he'd much rather be anywhere but home." Blair paused and stared at the ever-redder setting sun. "There will forever always be a reason why people act a certain way," She said, digging for the right words to say, "Nero's one of those, I figure. His behavior has a cause, so does yours; mine too."
There was an eerie moment after what Blair said. Suddenly no cars were driving in and out, and people didn't run to and fro. The wind didn't even blow. It was as if life was at a standstill. Just waiting for Sparkle to say the right thing...that she did not.
"Gee, Nero sure does take a long time!"
Blair sneezed in reaction to Sparkle's comment. "He better darn well hurry up," Was all she had to say.
Meanwhile, there actually was a reason why Nero was taking so long, for once. A line. Stomping his feet impatiently like a little kid, Nero leaned over and peered over the line. It was pretty long, for a bathroom. The guy in front of him coughed as the fidgeting Nero bumped into accidentally.
"Watch it, kid." The guy scoffed. Nero glared at him angrily as he peered across again. The line still didn't move. Swell.
"I don't want to wait forever," Sparkle moaned, leaning against the front of the car; she tapped her nails on the hood with a tone of frustration present. Blair gave Sparkle a nasty look indicating she didn't approve of her tapping her car's hood. Sticking her tongue out, Sparkle obeyed, but not without a comment.
"Dang, this is getting so freaking annoying!"
"Please, for Pete's Sake, have some patience for one," Blair sighed while inspecting her nails like a girly-girl.
"Hey, what's that...?"
Blair looked up at what Sparkle was pointing at. Halfway across the parking lot was a tacky looking booth sort of thing with a big huge sign no one could miss on top. The print on the sign wrote; "Once in a lifetime experience for bachelorettes! Join today!"
Positively intrigued, Sparkle hovered over to the booth like a moth to fire. Blair quickly followed, forgetting about Nero and her unlocked Honda.
When they arrived at the booth, Sparkle immediately asked, "What's this for??"
The guy on the other side stood up and puffed his chest out, apparently happy to have caught someone's interest.
"Well," The booth guy began, "This is a sign up sheet for the new hottest reality show, premiering this fall!!"
"What is it?" Asked an eager Sparkle.
"This reality show is called Single's Camp! The newest sensation from the creators of I'm A Weirdo, Get Me Out Of Here! and Win A Million Bucks By Acting Like A Freaking Loser!! All were hits, and so will this one!"
"What's this show about???"
"Single's Camp is where all these lucky young ladies get to hang out with a really hot single guy and try to woo him! The bachelor chooses the girls he likes, and soon, only one will be left, and they will be together forever, in love and they can kiss all they want!"
"Hm, it sounds sort of familiar in a way, but you said we kiss! How do I sign up?????"
The booth guy smiled broadly as he slid a sign-up sheet out from the bottom of the booth. Both Sparkle and Blair seemed absolutely sure that this would take the cake; Sparkle would kiss, they would go home, Blair could finally see Mint, Sparkle could get paid, and Stefan would stop flapping his mouth. It seemed so perfect.
"Well, shall we go?" The booth guy asked, gesturing his paw to a bus behind him.
Blair and Sparkle looked at each other, both thinking, We're going now?, hesitated, and jumped in the bus.
As for Nero, he had finally managed to defeat the evil line and had finally relieved himself. He ran out as fast as he could, only to find Blair's Honda unlocked and an empty booth.