As Seen On TV By HamClover

::::::::::::::::::::::Author's Note::::::::::::::::::::::::

Don't you hate it when you get those uber-cheesy Christmas songs stuck in your head?

Last Christmas, I have you my heart and the very next day, you gave it away. This year, to save me from tears, I'll give it to someone special…special.

IN THE NAME OF JAR JAR BINKS MAKE IT STOP!

Chapter Eighteen .:No Intern Left Behind:.

Wes was busy cleaning a glass, and the last thing he expected was Sparkle to come scrambling down the stairs and throw herself at him.

"WES!!" She shouted, clutching his white shirt tightly. Wes blinked.

"Um, what the hell?"

"I need a car!!!"

"Why?"

Sparkle moaned out of frustration and flopped herself in a barstool. Rubbing her forehead and watching for Scout out of the corner of her eye, she answered, "Because, you idiot. Scout is a pervert stalker and I would really like to get away from him for good." Wes sighed as he rubbed the glass ever more vigorously from his annoyance with the bratty girl.

"Yes well don't we all," He replied sarcastically.

Sparkle leaned back in the stool and stared at the ceiling. "Idiot…" She coughed.

"Stop it!" Whined a moody Wes.

"No!!! Really! Give me a God Damn car! NOW!"

"Why should I?" Wes retorted, arms all akimbo in a way that suddenly made Sparkle burst into a laughter of insanity.

"Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaa!"

Wes' face melted. "What the heck? Stop it!" He cried like an overgrown child.

"Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha-are you gay-?"

Wes gasped. "I most certainly am not!"

Sparkle spun around the barstool, her eyes focused on the irritated bartender, that grin on her face.

"I think yes."

"No."

"Yesss"

"No"

"Yes-sir-ree bob!"

"NO!"

"Admit it"

"NOOO"

"Then give me the keys to your car dammit!"

"Fine, here you go! Now get lost!"

Wes plopped a pile of keys in Sparkle's paw. With a grin of defeat, she trotted out the door. When she was a safe distance from Wes and the building, she shouted, "GAAAAY!" She kept the grin of a win as she heard Wes scream something back, but she was too busy finding what car was Wes' to hear. He had some old red 80's car. Big, boxy, and ugly. As she sat in the car, it suddenly hit her.

Nero.

"Holy shit! I forgot Nero at the rest stop!"

Meanwhile, poor little Nero was sitting in Blair's BMW. (Remember, she left it unlocked, keys and all) He didn't know how to drive, so he didn't dare start the car. Plus, if he crashed it, Blair and Sparkle both would have his head…if they ever got back. Nero sighed and stared out of the sunroof. It looked like it was about to rain soon.

Sipping some cold coffee he found in the cup holder, Nero looked around the car; a book in the glove box caught his eye. "Huh. What's this?" He asked himself and he took it out and flipped through the pages. As he did, one certain page caught his eye, and began reading.

And as if by magic, along came Sparkle, screeching through the parking lot in the retro 80's car. Nearly ramming into a nearby drinking fountain, Sparkle left the red car not worrying what happened to it and scrambled to Nero and Blair's BMW. Nero looked up from his book, and in pure delight he shoved the book back into the glove box and hurriedly rolled down the window.

"NERO!"

"SPARKLE! Oh my gosh I'm sooo happy to see you!" Nero squealed with delight as he jumped out and squeezed Sparkle. Suddenly realizing the sin he had just committed, he shyly looked up at Sparkle and smiled. "Uh, hey."

"Nero…" Sparkle said, trailing off and trying to vent her anger elsewhere. Opening the door and pushing Nero into the passenger side, Sparkle searched for the keys. "Come on, I want to go home." She answered rather quietly. "I've had enough of this B.S."

Nero plopped the keys on Sparkle's head. "I had them with me so no one would take them. See? Common sense."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. Let's go home."

Sparkle started the car. "Right-o!" Said an eager Nero as he buckled himself up.

As Sparkle and Nero zoomed out of the parking lot and onto the highway, a public bus pulled into the parking lot. As the doors opened, the person out was not other than Blair. She B-lined for where her car was parked, and to her horror, it was gone.

At this point, she wanted to pull her hair out.

"Can this job get any more worse!?"

(A/N- I'm sorry for the lame chapter, I haven't written in a while and am a little rusty…)