Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended. This plot was created by me and is original.

A/N: I am so sorry for not updating this as quickly as possible, but I try as soon as I have time. I want it all to be as good as it can be and satisfying to your likings. I don't want to put out whatever comes to my little mind I want it to make sense and have it good, and I'm sure you would appreciate it better that way anyhow. Thank you for the 5 reviews I receive don't worry I will acknowledge you because I want to thank you for the support and your encouragement. Those lovely people would be: Genie FF03, john, Miss Shirley-Blythe, Yang Hall PotterGurl, and Amelia Wren Granger. Thank you for the reviews!! This chapter is a little short but I promise the next two chapters will be out by this weekend as a bonus so YEAH!! And I hope you like it.

Chapter 5: Internal Struggle

The next morning Harry awoke bright and early way too early in anybody's right mind. Last night he went to bed with a happy goofy grin on his face. All night he slept in a peaceful slumber dreaming of a red-haired goddess. But of course the great Harry Potter was not offered even a one nights rest away from all the pain and suffering he endures.

Harry had awoken to a rather obnoxious and loud grunt from Ron. Normally Harry is used to his loud snores, but every since the end of last year he has been rather jumpy and paranoid. Turning into a little bit like Moody. As his racing heart and finally settled down he prepared to fall back asleep, but pleasant dreams did not return. Instead he received a very frightening dream indeed.

One minute he was sitting with Ginny under the big oak tree, and then as he turned to look at her smiling carefree face, she was lying lifeless on the ground. He fell to the ground and gathered her into his arms and cried. Screaming for all the pain. Seeing Ginny lifeless and no smile gracing her angelic face just tore at his heart. It felt like a piece of him had been ripped out of him. Without any warning Ginny as pale as a ghost turned to Harry, still in his arms, and screamed at him "YOU KILLED ME HARRY, YOU KILLED ALL OF US!" Then all around Harry, familiar faces of the Weasleys, Sirius, his mom and dad, Remus, Tonks, and classmates all screamed and yelled at him, blaming him for their death.

Harry just sat there taking it all. He took the blame as they swarmed around him like angry bees stinging him everywhere making him feel the pain in every fiber of his being. The guilt washed over him, like a river washing away a village in a blink of an eye. Then that all familiar cackle rang out, a shiver engulfing his body with such closeness to evil, and said menacingly as it continued to laugh "Your loved ones will perish one by one, no one to save them."

Harry shot up in his bed holding in his scream as to not to wake anyone. After finally catching his breath, he quietly made his way downstairs. The light of the morning had not even pierced through the sky. Sighing he realized sleep was to never be a friend to Harry. Seeking solitude in the darkness of early morning hours he crept outside to it now seemed his all to familiar spot leaning against the oak tree. That's where Harry currently resides now.

Harry sighed for the hundredth time since he had come out here. Life seems so peaceful out in the yard under the oak tree. It seemed as if no worries could penetrate the mind as long as he sat there.

Last night with Ginny had helped him forget his worries for the time being. Just being around Ginny made him feel. He didn't know how to describe it. He just felt solitude and comfort with her there. It just felt so right to be with Ginny, to kiss Ginny. But after that dream he wasn't so sure if it was right anymore.

He shuddered suppressing the horrifying images in a mental block for as long as possible. After that dream it just seem to make sense, that it was all truly his fault. It didn't want to push the pain away anymore; he felt he was meant to endure it for all the death and suffering he has caused. He didn't want to hurt or cause anyone anymore pain. He was guilty and was the one to blame. He just felt numb now with all the pain. All suffering was bent up inside. No outward emotions could be shown. His body was an empty shell, broken by the pain

#It's my entire fault all of it; every thing bad that has occurred is my fault. I just bring trouble and pain to everyone I love. What is love anymore, anyway? I never received love when I was little or now for that matter. Everyone just loves the great famous Harry potter the boy who lived. All they care about is keeping their precious savior alive so he can rid the world of all evil and defeat Voldemort. It's all cause of a stupid prophecy. To be murdered or to be the murderer, what great choices you got there Potter. Life just isn't fair. Why does everyone that I care about have to go and leave me? I don't want to be their savior. I want a normal life and to be a normal teenage boy. #

These thoughts kept running htrough his head increasing his angry and tormenting himself unknowingly.. Clenching his fists and grinding his teeth, he tried to keep control of emotions and not let them outpour

Pain, suffering, worry, anger and guilt all weighed heavily on Harry's mind. It was tearing him up inside. He was suffering from the inside out. He needed help from all the misery and despair but was he willing to finally realize everything is not his fault and people do love him not for the boy who lived but for the boy known just as Harry.

Harry turned his head to look at the beautiful crystal clear sky. The sun was finally making an appearance and was slowly creeping into the horizon. Washing the earth with its warmth. Trees swayed lightly with the invisible wind. Sweet smelling flowers wafted through the air tickling the nose with their scents. Birds gracefully flew in the sky and began to chirp with the rising of the sun. The gnomes seemed to have awaken as well and were scurrying about. Mother nature had awoken in all its beauty. Nature just seemed to capture Harry and have a calming effect. Sitting underneath the oak calmed and relaxed by nature Harry drifted off to sleep as nature awoke and the early risers in the Burrow began to awake.

As Harry finally seemed to drift off and into a peaceful rest, four sets of worrying eyes stood watch just beyond in bushes just beyond him.

A/N: So who is watching Harry?? Why is Harry so relaxed in nature?? What about this internal struggle of emotions that is going on inside Harry?? What will happen between Harry and Ginny?? Oh and Angelina, Alicia, Katie, and Lee come to visit. more to come (feel free to take a stab at what is going to occur in future chapters) #and the chapters will get longer don't worry# There you have it short and sweet (at least I hope) Thank you for those reviewers mention above once again. I am please to have reviews but am disappointed to say the least that I didn't get many reviews. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW! I like to read your opinions and inputs on my story and on how it is coming so far, trust me it benefits both of us if you review and you'll feel better. So please Review for me!! Author pouts and makes a puppy dogface until next time ( MUAH XOXOXOXO)