Author's Notes: Firstly, to anyone who hasn't already, I highly suggest reading my first Matrix Story, Insert Clever Matrix Parody Name Here. You can find it on the second page of Matrix stories, or you can just check my story list in my profile. Oh, and if anyone has been wondering, this is where I get the name for this story. You know, ICMPNH Reloaded? Stands for Insert Clever Matrix Parody Name Here Reloaded? But ICMPNH Reloaded is a lot shorter? Get it? Oh, I'll just go on with the story. Oh, and to paranoidxdesire, of course I will do the entire story. If I didn't, I would kill myself.

Chapter 3: Peace and Control
 Inside the one room in Zion that the rebels didn't make into an actual room and just left it as a cave, on a big, conveniently shaped rock balcony, Councilman Hamann stood, speaking to the crowd.

"Tonight, let us honour these men and women. These are our soldiers, our warriors. These are our husbands and wives, our brothers and sisters, our children. These are our servants, butlers, maids, personal chefs."
Everyone in the cave was staring at him.

"Oh, right! I guess you public aren't rich like the council. Oh, well. You win some, you lose some. And now, to finish this speech that was supposed to be a prayer but was really just a way for me to get attention, please welcome Morpheus!"

Loud talk-show theme music played as Morpheus walked onto the balcony.

"It's great to be here!" said Morpheus. "But before I plug my new movie, Blue Man Group: The Movie, I would like to say a long, weird speech. Zion! Hear me!"

"We can here you! You don't have to tell us!"

"It is true, what many of you have heard. The machines have gathered an army, and as I speak that army is drawing nearer to our home."
"Ooh, ahh," said a guy in the back.

"Believe me when I say we have a difficult time ahead of us. But if we are to be prepared for it, we must first shed our fear of it! I stand here before you now, truthfully unafraid. Why? Because I believe something you do not? No! I stand here without fear because I REMEMBER. I REMEMBER that I am HERE not because of the path that lies BEFORE me, but because of the path that lies BEHIND me! I remember that for 100 YEARS we have fought these MACHINES. I remember that for 100 YEARS they have sent their ARMIES to DESTROY us. And after a CENTURY of WAR, I REMEBER that which matters MOST. We are still HERE!"

"Oh, I'm sorry, what? I stopped listening after a few seconds," said a guy in the back. "Nice William Shatner impression, though."

"TONIGHT let us send a MESSSAGE to that ARMY. Tonight let us shake this CAVE! Tonight let us TREMBLE these halls of EARTH, STEEL, AND STONE!"

"Wait a minute—steel? There's steel in these caves? And we've been using Lego to build Zion! That stuff costs, like, 5 dollars a box, man!"

"Let us be heard from RED CORE to BLACK SKY. Tonight, let us make them REMEMBER. This is ZION! And we are not AFRAID!"

"Yay," said a guy in the back.

Loud, annoying music began playing.

Can't touch this!

Can't touch this!
Can't touch this! Oh-oh oh oh oh-oh-oh!

Can't touch this! Oh-oh oh oh oh-oh-oh!

And then, everyone in the cave started dancing. But, since it was a cave, and the entire room was made out of rock, and for some reason the entire ultra-advanced civilization of Zion didn't wear shoes, it hurt very much.

"Ooh! Eee! Ahh! Oww! Eee!"

Meanwhile, back on the balcony, Niobe looked over to Morpheus and said, "I REMEMBER. You used to dance. You were pretty good."

"I've never danced before."
"Are you sure? I remember you danced at the Christmas party. You got up on the table, put a lampshade on your head—"

"Shut up!"

Niobe smiled.

"Some things never change."

"Why do you always say that?"
Lock, who was on the other side of, once again, the conveniently shaped rock-room, called, "Come on, Niobe!"
"Some things do change," said Morpheus.
"And some things don't."
"I know. You don't have to say that."
"But saying that some things do change is an equally obvious statement—"

"Niobe, come on!" yelled Lock. "I'm gonna miss Scooby-Doo!"

"Gotta go," said Niobe, and she walked off.

Morpheus paused.

"Damn! I missed my chance to ask her out!"

Meanwhile, back on the...um...dancefloor...

Man, this is a weird scene!

Neo walked up to Trinity.
"Hey."
"Hi."
"I missed you."
"I can tell."
"How?"
"I can read minds."
"Cool."
"I know what you're thinking."
"Really? What?"

"You're thinking you wanna have sex with me."
"Uh..."
"Let's go."
And then, there's a weird montage-type-thing, where everyone dances and Trinity and Neo have sex. Creepy.

But after a while, Trinity noticed Neo looking upset.

"What is it? Did you think of all the innocent victims Apple has claimed?"
"No, it's..."
"What? You can tell me."
"Don't interrupt me!"
"Sorry."
"It's just—"

Trinity held Neo's hand.

"See this? I'm never letting go."
"Thank you, Interrupter Jones!"
"Sorry."
"Oh, and yes, you will let go. And many times, from what I can see in the Revolutions trailer I downloaded."

Meanwhile, outside, on a balcony somewhere, Morpheus surveyed the huge city as the lights began to turn off and the city began falling asleep.
"Goodnight, Zion. Sweet dreams."

A guy was walking by him as he said that.
"Can you only talk in metaphors?"
"Pretty much, yeah."

Also meanwhile, two rebels ran into the warehouse nervously.

"You alright?" asked Bane, the first one.

"I'll be fine," said Malachi, the second one. "Did you see that Agent? He was like, 'Oh, no you di-'nt!' and we were all, 'Oh, yeah, we did!' and he was all—"

"Shut up."

"Sorry."
"Anyway, we've gotta get out of here. You go first."

Malachi reached for the phone.

Just then, Agent Smith jumped down from the roof and landed painfully.

"Weeeeeeeeee—! Ow!"

"Oh, god," said Bane. "Let's go!"
Malachi picked up the receiver.
"What are you doing?" cried Bane. "Don't leave me here!"

Malachi paused.

"Mmmmm....nah."

He disappeared.

"Crap."
Smith walked over to him.

"Hey, wanna see a magic trick?" he asked.

"Okay, sure."
"I bet I can turn you into Jell-O!"
"Okay, you're on!"

Smith stuck his hand into Bane's stomach. For a moment, Bane was made out of a strange gelatin-type thing, and then he went back to normal.

"Whoa. That was weird," said Bane. "I look the same, but now I have a sudden urge to make a long boring speech before a kung fu sequence."

Agent Smith groaned.

"Oh, crap! You're not Jell-O! I always get the trick wrong."

"Well," said Smith-Bane, "At least I can help you kill Neo."
"Oh, yeah! Cool!"

A few hours later, Neo stood on a balcony outside his apartment, staring blankly into space.

"Need some company?" asked Councilman Hamann, coming up behind him.

"Whoa! Hamann!" cried Neo. "You scared the bejeezus outta me!"

"Hey, that's my line!"
"Shut up, Cypher," said Neo.

"I understand if you'd rather be alone," said Hamann.

"No, I could use some company."

"Good. I'm scared when I'm alone."
Hamann looked out at Zion.
"Nice night," he said.

"Wait a minute," said Neo. "If we're underground, how do we know when it's night and when it's day?"
"I had the lighting system preset to go off at 10:30. It used to be just 10:00, but that's when The Simpsons comes on."
"I see."
"It seems like such a peaceful night...everyone seems to be sleeping so peacefully."
"Not everyone."
"I'm afraid of the dark."
"I see."
"And because since I was asleep the first eleven years of my life, I guess I'm making up for it."
"You were unplugged when you were eleven?"
"No, I had narcolepsy."

"Oh."

"Why aren't you asleep?"
"I dunno. I guess I just haven't been able to sleep much lately."
"That's good."
"Why?"
"It's a sign that you are, in fact, human."
"How?"
"Because if you go a few days without sleeping, you die, and dying is a very human occurrence."

"Thanks for the pleasant thoughts."
"Welcome. Have you ever been to the control room?"
"No."
"Wanna see it?"

"No."
"Well, I'm gonna take you anyway."
Hamann grabbed Neo by the arm and began dragging him.

The control room was a huge room with several gigantic machines, doing all the maintenance work for Zion.

"People don't usually come down here, but I always do. I find it comforting."
"But, all these machines are doing the work, while the humans of Zion do nothing."
"What's your point?"
"Well, isn't that why the Earth's robots rebelled in the first place a hundred years ago?"
"Umm...no."
"Oh, okay."

"Anyway, see that machine over there?"
"No."
"It has something to do with recycling our water supply. I have absolutely no idea how it works."
"But, sir, that's the most elementary machine in the control room. Even children know how the water recycling process works."
"Well, yeah, but I wasn't paying attention when the technicians told me how it worked."

"Oh."

"You know, when I think about all the people still plugged into the Matrix towers, I still can't help but think that we're plugged into these machines here."
"But, we control them."
"You're right. We could smash them to bits, if we wanted to. But then we'd have to do something about of heat, or water, our oxygen."
"So, you're saying that the machines are really controlling us?"
"Yes, I am."
"Crap."

"AS I SAID, I DON'T KNOW HOW THAT WATER MACHINE THING DOES WHAT IT DOES, AND I DON'T—"

"Wait, why are you yelling?"
"Sorry. The author accidentally pressed the Caps Lock button."
"Oh."
"Anyway, as I was saying, I don't know how that water machine does what it does, and I'm not quite sure how you do some of the things you do—"

"Oh, it's quite simple. Whenever something like a fist or a bullet comes at me, everything goes into slow-motion, and then—"

"Shut up! Now, I don't know how you do some of the things you do, but I just hope we know that reason before it's too late."

Neo groaned.

The next day, Link had gotten a call from Neo. The Oracle had contacted the Caduceus, asking to meet with Neo, and the Nebucadnezzar needed to leave right away.

"Morpheus said this is how it's gonna happen," Link told Zee. "I don't know. Maybe the prophecy is true, maybe pigs fly. All I know is that ship needs an operator. Right now, that operator's me."

"What, you mean, like, now, now?"
"Well, depends what you mean by 'now'. Do you mean, like, right this second, now? Or, like, this day?"
"Probably somewhere around 'right this minute'."
"Oh, okay, them I'm not the ship's technician right now, but I will be soon!"
"Well, if you're gonna go, where this."
Zee handed Link a necklace.

"What's this?"
"It's a necklace I found in the garbage next door. I'm assuming it's lucky."
"Okay, fine."
Link took the necklace.

Outside, at the docks, Neo, Trinity and Morpheus were heading into the Nebucadnezzar.

Just as they were about to go in, Bane walked up behind them.
"Neo."
"Bane? What are you doing here?"
"I just wanted to say goodbye before you left."
"Well...thanks, I guess."

Zoom in on Bane's knife, which is weird that he has it, because he doesn't even use it.

Bane walked off.

"Neo!" yelled a voice from around the corner.

"Oh, god," said Neo.

Hamster ran up to him. Neo drew his gun and held it to his head.

"Make one annoying remark and I blow your brains out."
"No, I just wanted to give you this. It's a gift from one of the orphans."
Hamster handed Neo a bundle wrapped in cloth.

"Oh," said Neo. He threw his gun behind him.

"Ow! Someone threw a gun at me!"

Neo took the bundle and unwrapped it. It was a crudely made spoon.

"Hey! A spoon! I can use this for my pudding! No more eating with my fingers for me!"
"No, it was from that bald British kid in the monk costume."
"Oh. Oh...oh! Spoon Boy! Oh, yeah, now I get it!"
Neo looked down at the spoon.

"There is no spoon," he said, concentrating very hard.

"Look, Neo," said Hamster, "I understand if you don't like the gift, but you don't have to pretend it doesn't exist."
The spoon began to telekinetically contort itself.

"OH MY GOD! IT'S ALIVE!" screamed Hamster.

"No, I'm just bending it with my mind—"

"RUN! RUN! RUN AWAY FROM THE DEMON SPOON! DEMON SPOOOON!!"
Hamster ran away screaming.

"Well, that was weird," commented Neo. He turned back to the spoon. He continued bending it. But, it was too crudely made, and it snapped in half after a few seconds.

"Uh-oh," murmured Neo. He looked around and tossed the spoon away.

"Okay, I think the swelling from that gun that hit my head is going down—ow! Now a spoon's hit my head! This is a bad day for me!"

Author's Notes: Please help fight narcolepsy.

http:www.ninds.nih.gov/healthandmedical/disorders/narcolepdoc.htm