Here's another chappie. I am trying to put out another one this week, but it's doubtful. I've had too much work and some extracurricular activities getting in the way. As well as mom's birthday, my cousin's baby shower and my best friends nephew's birth day. I am fried at the moment. I wanted to get this all done and finished before Thanksgiving, but, okay, we'll see. There will be either 2 or 3 chapters more.

Okay, so here is 15.

Enjoy! J.

Thanks to: XBlueShadowX, LieutenantjgMegAustin , maidenpride21, froggy0319, Navy Babe, Hieros Gamos, Charmboy4, blonde-brain, Anaika Skywalker, Charmboy4, zeilfanaat, Nikki, jaggurl, achaon, cbw, Manda May, FoxyWombat, zeilfanaat, Jackia, DD2, xobabygurlxo, Kitty25, Lori, amanda cook, joanoa, G, Cristina, Lori, BrokenSkye, ami, iammusic, unknown, mandaj97, Jagfan724, ashnic6289, KittyX25, Deb, & Jenny, for all the feedback. :) You lurkers - :::points::: you too. ;)

PART 15– Tell Me Where It Hurts

0125 Zulu
AJ Chegwidden's House
McLean, Virginia

The night air was cold, but Harm felt even colder inside. How could anyone accuse him of such a heinous and disgusting crime? Sure, he'd had his sexist, pigheaded moments with women, but to be accused of rape and dirty his name was just too much. Breaking up with Renee had been the correct decision for all party's involved. They would never have been happy together, this he knew and understood. He knew she had been badly hurt and it wasn't easy to get over such a hit to the ego, but what she was doing to him, to them, defied anything he could have ever dreamt possible. When she mentioned a plot of revenge against him and Mac, Harm thought that she would be back to cause some sort of scene. Unfortunately, she caused more than one scene, luckily, the show was preempted this week and if the higher ups had their way, it would never be seen again. "Here you go, Harm." Looking up, Harm found AJ offering him a beer.

Harm grabbed the bottle and look a long pull, alcohol probably wasn't the solution at the moment, but he needed to relax and feel lose. Ever since he was accused he felt tense and out of sorts. "Thank you."

His CO sat next to him, on the steps outside of his home. AJ managed to get the ball rolling early on because no more than twenty minutes after Harm had been cuffed, he received a call from the Captain. He vehemently argued against the accusation and was more than astonished to hear that the accuser was non-other than Renee Peterson. Within the day, he had worked on everything to have Harm flown back to DC. Though the Captain was the convening authority in the matter, he man knew better than to argue with an Admiral especially when he was the Navy JAG. Right away AJ made sure people knew Harm was not a flight risk, nor did he need to be put into the brig.

Though he was fearing his return to Washington, Harm was relieved to find his commanding officer on his side. Furthermore, the Admiral had requested to be his counsel, Harm knew he would be zealously represented and trusted AJ's capable litigation skills.

"How are you doing Harm?" The Admiral had asked Harm over to his house, figuring it would be better for them to go over things in a non-work like environment. Mainly though, AJ was trying to avoid the media and the picking the would do at his client.

"With all due respect, sir. . . like shit." He took another swig of his beer.

Chuckling, AJ patted Harm on the back, then grabbed his shoulder comfortingly. He wasn't going to leave any of his people alone when they needed him the most. "Harm, I am going to be your lawyer so while we are not around the office or the usual venues, it's AJ not sir."

Harm looked over and offered a half smile. "Alright, AJ."

"So, how are you and Mac, doing?" AJ knew he was traipsing into dangerous waters the moment Harm grasped the beer bottle with two hands.

The younger man's eyes went skyward and then down to the ground, seemingly in embarrassment. "Haven't seen her since I got back. .. not sure if she wants to see me." He said, sighing deeply at what Mac would think once news got to her. Hell, he knew that news had to have reached her by now, he imagined it would be the end of them.

"It'll pass. . . But, I don't want the two of you consorting too much at ops." AJ replied in a stern tone. It was more of a precaution than anything. "For that matter, don't consort too much with anyone."

Defensively, Harm cast the Admiral a look and angrily tightened his jaw at the implication. "We've never carried ourselves improperly at ops, sir."

"No, you haven't. . ." AJ agreed, "But I don't want to give the prosecution any suggestions on who to put on the stand. . . I want to keep as much of the staff out of this as possible."

Harm nodded, he agreed with AJ's logic. Any witness, even those of the defense, could have their words used against them and essentially against him. "And I want to keep Mac out of it, if at all possible sir."

"We're on the same wavelength then." AJ reached into a small cooler he'd brought out earlier and fished out another beer. Cracking it open, he offered it to Harm.

"So who is prosecuting?" Harm took the proffered bottle and placed the other, empty bottle next to him.

AJ cracked open another bottle and sighed. It was always amusing just how quickly our normally slow legal system worked when they had an axe to grind. The prosecution was probably set up even before AJ had a chance to request defense. "Well you are going to love this. . . Teddy Lindsay." He had vivid pictures of Lindsay probably sitting around waiting for the right moment to pounce all over a case of this magnitude. The fact that it was against one of the JAG crew, must have had Lindsay salivating.

"Lindsay? He'll come at us with guns a blazing." Nervously, he began ripping off the label of the bottle, wadding it up and tossing it into the empty.

That couldn't be denied, however the Admiral was having some sort of pleasure at going up against Commander Lindsay. Through the years the man had been a thorn at his side and a man that didn't deserve to wear the uniform on his back. "Oh, I have a few tricks of my own. . . but seriously Harm. . until it's all over, you and Mac."

"Sir, we've never carried ourselves in any manner but professional . ." He reiterated. "Even more so since we've been together. . . On investigations the Colonel and I have stayed in separate quarters in VOQs, ships, even civilian hotels . . . The only times we've been out as a couple has been to dinners and we never go out wearing our uniform." It was the truth, since they'd been going out, Harm and Mac had opted to keep a low profile. At first, it was just because they'd wanted to enjoy time together without anyone else knowing, there was a rush in the thrill of being caught in an intimate setting. Then, it was just to keep problems at work and within the chain of command to a minimum.

"Harm I am not judging your relationship. . . and I don't want Lindsay to use her knowledge of you against our case."

"Knowledge, sir. . Uh, AJ?"

Ever since the wheels of the case against Harm started churning, AJ could imagine the types of things the prosecution would bring up. They had a lot of ammo, if 'ZULU' had any validity to it. "You told me that ZULU was basically about your life with Mac, correct?" At Harm's nod, AJ took a breath an continued. "Then that episode, when Sam tries to avenge her ex-lover's death. . .Did it happen?"

"I. . ." In shame, Harm hung his head low. Would he have killed Holbarth? He still didn't know, but was glad Mac was there to save him. "Yes. . . it happened."

"But Mac stopped you." AJ knew that the two always had quite the history, but to this extent, it surprised him. Very few people would do so much to keep the other safe.

Harm understood what AJ was suggesting. That due to the intimate knowledge Mac knew about him, she would be the prime witness. It would make things that much more tricky if she was. Would she lie on the stand to protect him? "I see what you are getting at. . . the prosecution will try to find a pattern of irregular behavior and then use her intimate knowledge of my life to incriminate me."

"Exactly. . ." The Admiral finished off his beer and went to offer another to Harm who showed him a half-full bottle. There was one bit of light at the end of the tunnel. "Seeing as no one knows where they got the information, the Navy is going after Taramount and as a result, the show's been cancelled with no chance of getting renewed. . . There are some episodes that were already filmed, but they are being reviewed before airing. . . Yours and the Colonel's records are so sealed that not even the President can look into them. . . within a few weeks all of this should fall by the wayside."

Harm extended his hand to AJ. "AJ, thank you. . . for everything."

"Leaving already, Commander?" He shook Harm's head and patted him on the back.

"Need some sleep sir. . ."

AJ stood and walked Harm over to his SUV. "Well it's the weekend. . .try to get some rest and I'll see you on Monday morning."

"Aye aye, sir. . . and thank you."

0320 Zulu
Harm's Apartment
North of Union Station

Harm was mildly surprised that he didn't have to run into any news reporters in order to get into his apartment. Still, he was looking around, being very cautious as he went up the elevator and walked into his haven. He was too wired to sleep and though he was exhausted, the place needed a bit of a clean up, so he got to work. Anything that kept him busy prevented him from driving himself crazy thinking about the case. So, he changed into a pair of oversized, comfortable jeans and an old 'FLY NAVY' t-shirt and began to clean.

It was nearly ten thirty, when a knock at his door brought him out of him methodical cleaning and into the real world. He was seated on the floor, just in front of the kitchen island, tightening the screws in the legs of his barstools. Harm cringed the second time he heard a knock and was tempted to yell at whoever it was at the other side to just go away. He had nothing to say to anyone, especially the media. Standing, he placed the screwdriver on the island, dusted his hands over his jeans and headed towards the door. In a slight fit of annoyance, he yanked it open, determined to tell whoever it was to back off. "Don't you guys have better things to. . ." His words were cut off completely as if someone had knocked the wind out of him. He stared out as if seeing a ghosts and was readying himself for an onslaught when the person on the other side, crashed into his arms.

Mac had been standing outside of his door for a good twenty minutes before she had the nerve to knock. Inside she would hear him rummaging through things, cursing loudly when whatever he was doing wasn't going his way. She should have stayed home and just waited for him to come to her, but she couldn't and she wouldn't. She needed to see him, to know he was safe and sound. When he opened the door, she felt such a wave of emotion in knowing he was alive and well that any speech she had prepared flew out the window. She needed to feel his arms around her, so she moved into his arms and searched his lips out with her own.

They kissed, long and passionately as if they were starving and that was the only form of nourishment. Harm's strong arms wrapped around Mac's body, crushing her close to him. Somehow, he managed to close the door with his foot and not interrupt his welcome home. Breaking apart, Mac looked up at him with a bit of awe in her eyes, though they hadn't been apart for too long, she realized how much they needed each other. "I've missed you, terribly."

Leaning down, he kissed her again, refusing to let her out of his arms. "I've missed you too, Sarah. . . Let's forget about what happened, please?" In the time away, he'd thought long and hard about what to do or what to say when he bumped into Mac, everything came to a halt when their lips met. Truthfully, he didn't' want to be angry and he was too tired to care about what had happened in the past. Reluctantly, he let her go, following her with his eyes as she walked towards his computer and flipped it on. "How are you?"

Mac looked over at him and shrugged. "Not well, actually. . .I need to show you something."

"And I need you to know something."

"I need you to see this first, Harm. . .It's important, very important." He was going to tell her about the accusation and how their large problem had become an extra large one. But, there seemed to be something more important on her mind, so he decided to forget about it for the moment. Mac waited patiently for the computer to boot up then slipped a CD into the CD tray. Selecting the correct folders, she stopped and turned to Harm who was eyeing her suspiciously. "Please, come here."

There was a sadness in the tone of her voice that matched the look in his eyes causing him to pale and feel sick. With a mild trepidation, he grabbed one of the chairs from the kitchen table and placed it next to his desk chair. He lowered himself into the chair, watching carefully as Mac selected a folder labeled '2001.'

That folder opened up another series of folders that started with 'January 2001' and made it's way to 'May 2001' where the folders ended. "What is this?"

Mac sighed nervously, looking anywhere but towards Harm. "My diary."

"Diary?" Harm was now totally confused, what was so important about a diary?

"It's a bit silly, but I started keeping one as a project for law school and ever since then It's been like a friend. . ." Mac had detailed every day of her life since law school, missing only a few entries when it had become completely impossible to type in anything. She'd kept the diary in floppy discs at first, but then copied everything onto CDs where a higher volume of information could be kept. They'd always been well kept, hidden from prying eyes and password protected, just in case. But, it was the week of her wedding, long before Harm's quals or her investigation came up, that she'd made a copy.

"I don't understand, Mac."

"You will." She double clicked the 'May 2001' folder and then on a file labeled 'May 12th – Engagement Party.' "Read this." Standing, Mac walked away from the computer and towards his kitchen. For some reason, she didn't want to be around when he read it, so she decided to make coffee.

Harm waited for his computer to open up the file and then started reading. 'What am I going to do? Tonight was my engagement party at the Admiral's. It was a nice party, well, was supposed to be a nice party but something happened and I don't know how to feel about it.

Harm and I spent the evening outside talking about nothing and everything. I am not sure, but I think, in a round about way, he told me that he loves me. Can you believe that? I am marrying another man and NOW he hints his feelings towards me.' Harm swallowed hard, thinking about how idiotic he had been with Mac through the years. He could have had her rather than let her go off with Brumby.

Glancing towards the kitchen, he saw Mac busing herself, obviously this was too much for her to be witnessed to and soon, he read why. 'We kissed. . . deeply, passionately, like if it was the end of the world, earth shattering kinda kiss. And the moment we broke away, I felt my heart shatter into a million pieces. I don't know what to tell Mic, or if I should tell Mic. And I have no idea what I should say to Harm on Monday. . . All I know is that, we kissed and I wanted it, and he wanted it. Damnit, but why now? Now I am so confused and I know those feelings are dangerous. Should I marry Mic? Should I call it off? What about Harm? What about his girlfriend? What about me? As much as I want to deny my feelings for Harm. . . I'm in love with him and always will be. . . always. God help me.' It really wasn't anything that Harm didn't already know. He figured as much that she'd always been in love with him, but, to see something written by her on that day tugged at his heart strings.

Glancing up he found a freshly brewed cup of coffee on his desk and Harm seated next to him. She had a frightened expression as if she'd divulged too much too soon. When he continued to look at her in confusion, she clarified. "There are a lot of things like that in there, Harm. . . the kiss at Norfolk, me falling off the wagon. . . Australia. . ."

Then it dawned on him. "THIS is how she found out?" Mac nodded slowly, biting her lower lip in hopes that he wouldn't jump all over her indiscretion. "How? How'd she get it."

"I was angry that you wanted to fly rather than be there on a day that I really needed you there." She took a sip of her coffee, receiving some warmth. "The day we left for the carrier, I placed a copy of that CD with this note in the top drawer of your desk."

"Why?"

"Because I wanted you to know the feelings I had for you." She stood abruptly, pacing wildly across his hardwood floors. "I loved you so much, yet, so much had gone so wrong. . . I don't know I was hoping that you would understand. You looked so sad that night of my engagement party, but you weren't the only one sad, Harm. . . I knew the moment I said 'I do' that our friendship would be over. And that is the price I paid, if it meant that Mic could help me get over you. . .But it didn't work and the night we kissed. . . Damnit, For the first time in my life, I had the only man I'd ever really wanted with every fiber of my being." Done wearing out the floors she stopped and turned to him. "In some, stupid, last minute attempt, I wanted to do something. . . I was hoping you'd stop me from marrying him." She walked towards him, exhaustedly sinking into the chair. "I was too weak to stop it myself and too strong to admit that I couldn't stop thinking about you."

Harm looked away for a moment, thoughtfully recalling one tiny detail. "I never saw that disc, Mac. . . nor any letter from you."

"The night we went down, everyone wet over to ops in order to keep track of the SAR crew's progress. . . according to Harriet, Renee was in your office the whole time." Mac tightened her jaw. "Don't ask me if I am sure, because I am. . .the things on the episodes, nothing ever came from just Sam's standpoint. It was always something that she and Hawk did together. . .and there were things, personal things that I described in the journal that NO ONE knew about, yet they appeared on screen." Mac noted Harm turning away from her, his eyes taking that thoughtful look again. The silence, from his end, was killing her. "Harm, talk to me please."

"What do you want me to say, Mac?. . ."

"Anything. . . even if it's to say that you hate me."

Harm turned to her and sighed. "I don't hate you. . .I don't think I am capable of hating you. . . I am just. . . pissed off with this. She crawled into our lives and we couldn't do a damn thing to stop it. . . do you realize how vulnerable I feel?"

"Just as vulnerable as I feel, Harm. . . if I wouldn't have placed that CD in your desk. . ."

Harm stopped her, placing his hand gently on her shoulder. "Don't do that. . .She had no business going through my desk."

Mac felt the lump in her throat, and tried to swallow it down, but it was no use. "I want this to end, Harm. . . I want us to be okay."

Instinctively, he brought her into his arms, rocking her gently, feeling her tears wet his shirt. "Mac. . . shhh."

Sniffling she looked up at him and smiled softly. "Some Marine I am, huh? Crying like that."

"You're a Marine, but you're human first, Sarah. . . we're allowed to cry, you know?"

Mac nodded, there was no denying that he was right about that, but it still bothered her to break down, it was something that she'd left behind the day she became a Marine. "I guess I'd better go." She tried pulling out of his embrace, unsure at just how things would work between them now. Inside, she hoped he'd ask her to stay, but would he?

"Stay, I need you to stay." Smiling softly, he motioned towards his bedroom. "You left your cowboy jammies here."

Mac couldn't help but laugh. "Yea, I know. . .I was hoping they wouldn't become a parting gift."

"Never." With that, he kissed her and somehow felt a force between them that was much stronger than Renee and her stupid show and accusation. "C'mon, Mac. . . I'm beat."

Not much was really said while they readied themselves for bedtime. Harm was laying in bed, waiting for her to finish getting ready. She did wear the Cowboy jammies and he laughed at how cute she looked in them. "What are you laughing about, flyboy?"

Harm shrugged innocently. "You look cute in those." He raised the comforter up so that she could slid into bed with him and once she did, their lips met in another kiss. It felt like forever since they were last like this, just being Harm and Sarah. The outside world didn't matter to them at that moment, nothing did. It was the one time when no one could touch them. But even then, as they were innocently kissing each other goodnight, someone's evil ways was threatening to destroy the moment.

Mac's hand had wandered from Harm's cheek, down his throat and towards his chest. He'd shuddered slightly at her touches, but she made nothing of it. It was, as she lifted his t-shirt to touch his bare chest that Harm pushed her away from him and bolted upright. He slid away slightly, placing his head in his hands as he breathed erratically. Mac was confused, terribly confused, had she done something wrong? "Harm? . . Harm, what is it?" She made to place a hand on his shoulder to soothe him, but the action made him jump when she made contact. Something was definitely wrong. "Harm?"

Harm just sat at the end of the bed, trying to stop his head from spinning. Everything had been find with him and Mac until the moment her hands moved to his chest. It was then that the raw emotions started to overwhelm and choke him. He wasn't in his bedroom anymore, but back on the Henry, Renee, straddling him, her nails digging into his flesh leaving marks that would toss him into a nightmare. "I'm. . fine." He barely managed to choke the words out, emotion had taken control of him. Without him even knowing how it happened, he was sobbing lightly. "Damnit . . she's even destroying THIS."

Mac tried placing her hand on his shoulder again and breathed a sigh of relief when he let her. Slowly, she slid herself to the end of the bed and wrapped her arms around him. "What's going on?"

He turned to look at her and she could see the tears running down his cheeks. "I knew you were going to find out eventually. . . but, I didn't want to ruin spending time with you to night. . . I didn't want to tell you."

"Tell me what?" No more surprises, she dreaded anything that he had to say simply because everything was spinning so out of control that she couldn't get a handle on it. What else was she going to have to deal with?

Harm took a breath and moved himself backwards, leaning against the wall behind his bed. He looked at her as he raised his t-shirt up, showing her the angry red marks that hadn't yet started to heal.

Mac furled her brow then it dawned on her, those were marks made by someone's nails. She'd left similar ones on his body before, but they would normally be gone by morning. What she was seeing now, made her sick to her stomach. "She did this?"

"Yes." Harm sighed deeply, looking away in shame. "She did this and when I woke up the next morning. . .I was taken into custody because she claimed that I. . ."

Mac didn't allow for him to finish his sentence because she knew too well what had happened. Now, the voracity of Renee's revenge angered her beyond belief. The normally level-headed Colonel was thinking of plotting her own form of vengeance. "How could she do this to you!" She moved towards Harm, sitting next to him in angle where she could see the wounds much better. The woman, she deduced, must have used all of her force to cut him in such a brutal way. She willed down her anger as much as possible, before looking into Harm's eyes. "Have you put anything on it?"

"Neosporin. . ."

Mac frowned. "Does it hurt?"

"When I shower, sometimes it bothers me when I move."

"When I touched you?"

"It didn't hurt, the wince was just. . . like a reaction." Reaction was right, though it would have happened with anyone that touched him in that area.

Noting the tube of Neosporin by his side of the bed, Mac reached over and took it. She squeezed a generous amount on her fingers and began gingerly applying it to the cuts. "Has anyone seen this?"

"Yes, and it's been photographed to be used as evidence." Harm stopped Mac's hands and waited for her eyes to meet his own. "I didn't do it. . . I couldn't do that, to anyone."

"I know." She said in a soft voice. "I believe you, Harm. . ." She stopped herself from stating the obvious, that with wounds like that it was going to be a bit more difficult to present a good defense for him, but she knew that he knew. The only thing left was to figure out who was on his side. "Who's defense?"

"Chegwidden." He flinched as she went over a particularly sore area and then frowned slightly. He had to tell her the rest, that, as of Monday, they couldn't see each other until the trial was over. "Mac, there's something else. . ."

---------------
Christina - I doubt she would have gone THIS far, but yea, I'd totally she her go friggin nuts.

XBlue - Mallet's won't work. :::Wispers::: She's over there!! ::Points wildly:: Psyche!!! AHAHA. :::runs for her own life::

ashnic - Ask and thou may receive. ;)

maiden - LOVE the way you think! Where canI purchase such devices? Wholesale prices please, migh need to buy a dozen and hand them out to other readers. ;)

joanoa - Vodka or tequila would be wonderful, thanks. Actually, I'd go fora Cosmo haven't had thatin aaaaaaaaaages. ::hands over a $20::

Everyone wanting to kill Renee, I'll put a raffle up, whoever wins gets to kill her, deal? ;)