Author's note:
I have finally seen Mad Love so yay for me! It bothers me hearing Matt call someone else 'Matt'. When he first started calling the other dude 'Matthew' I was like 'Stop talking to yourself, Matty! People will talk!' I am a freak! Anyway, on with the story! Funerals for this chapter! It's all good. I wanna rape Randy and Stu.... Don't judge me on that! Usually (when I remember my medication) I'm quite the sane one.
"I am a TRL virgin!" Matthew Lillard
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"What is taking Sara so long?" Jenna wondered out loud in a worried tone.
Kayleigh glanced at her and answered with a shrug, "She's probably murdering Stu around now."
"I guess I'll get a room to myself then?" Chip asked hopefully.
That's when the door swung open and Sara skipped in happily. She smiled at everyone cheerfully which caused Jenna to ask in slight horror, "You didn't kill Stu, did you?"
"Sadly, no..." Sara glared darkly at the carpet as though it itself was Stu. She smiled again and said happily, "We're having a funeral, everyone!"
"Who died?" Kayleigh asked.
Jenna grinned and asked back, "Who hasn't died?"
"We are mourning the lose of Jenna's virginity. And...." Sara added dramatically, "The murder of Jenna's 13 Ghosts t-shirt."
She held up the torn shirt and Kayleigh gasped slightly. Chip glanced around the room uncomfortably until his eyes settled on Jenna. Then suddenly Sara turned to him and said quickly, "Of course you merit an invitation to the festivities, Chip!"
"Is Stu coming?" Jenna asked.
Sara laughed meanly at the question and replied, "Of course not, silly rabbit."
"Should I bring flowers?" Chip asked out of amusement.
Sara nodded in answer to his question then tossed the shirt to Jenna and said, "Find two caskets, Jenna! One for your purity and the other for the blessed shirt."
"Okay..." Jenna muttered slowly.
Kayleigh thought then wondered, "How the hell do we bury her virginity?"
"Put pure things and a casket that represent her better days and we'll bury it," Sara answered.
She turned toward the door and started walking toward it. When Chip asked where she was going she responded, "I'm going to invite Randy to the funeral. Oh! You guys need to wear all black! We must mourn."
"We have to wear black?" Chip repeated as Sara left.
Kayleigh and Jenna looked over each other's dark outfits and said together, "Done!"
"Does anyone have any caskets on them?" Jenna asked, looking specifically at Chip.
He chuckled and said, "I'm sorry. I left all my caskets in the back of my hearse."
"You have a hearse?" Jenna and Kayleigh asked with great interest.
"I was joking..." Chip laughed at their sudden interest. It fell silent for a moment and Chip blurted out in order to stop the awkward silence, "Huge appendages!"
The two girls near him sent him strange, confused looks. Jenna slowly in confusion asked, "Why did you just say that?"
"The truth hurts..." He answered and shrugged.
Kayleigh looked him over then laughed loudly. She quickly stopped her laughter and said, "You guys, we have a funeral to prepare!"
"Why must everyone torment me?" Jenna asked, whiningly.
"Because its fun!" Kayleigh answered happily.
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Sara walked into Randy's room without even knocking. She was happy to see that Brock wasn't there and thought Randy just looked so adorable as he slept. She took her trench coat off and dropped it on the floor carelessly. She sat on his bed gently, sitting beside him in great amusement and feeling somewhat sneaky for some reason. She had to bite down on her bottom lip to prevent herself from laughing. She poked Randy a few times until his eyes fluttered open. As soon as they opened she asked, "You wanna have sex?"
"What?" He sat up as his eyes widened in surprise.
"Let's have sex, Randy!" Sara insisted with a crazy look on her face.
"What? Why?" He questioned in confusion, rubbing the tiredness away from his eyes.
She laughed nervously and didn't want to give her motive away so asked back, "Why not?"
He looked to think all of this over, bewilderment still in his eyes as he stated, "We cant! We'll die."
"So? Jenna is going to die so I figured I go with her," Sara smiled innocently.
His confusion transformed into full fledged bewilderment as he asked, "Why is Jenna going to die?"
"God..." Sara said in annoyance, "I wanna have sex and all you can do is talk about Jenna. Damn you, Randy."
"Your the one who brought her up!" He defended.
She looked at him frustrated and asked in a tone to match, "Why are you sending accusations at me?"
"Sara, you need to stop mixing medications! Your crazy!" He shook his head in confusion.
"I see how you are!" Sara stood up and prepared to stomp away. Randy grabbed her by the wrist and pulled her backwards. She fell back on the bed and he kissed her roughly.
When she pulled away Randy eagerly said, "Okay, lets have sex!"
"I'm not in the mood anymore! You ruined the magical moment we could have had," Sara stood up again and was pulled back down. She rolled her eyes and said, "I'll just have to wait for someone else to kill me..."
"What?!" He questioned, jealousy and confusion in his tone.
"It was a joke," She kissed him on the cheek.
He rolled his eyes at her then asked, "Why must you offer sex then give me a weak kiss on the cheek? We are so boring!"
"Do you wanna burn each other? There is nothing boring about that!" Sara suggested.
He laughed then asked suspiciously, "Why suddenly did you want to have sex?"
"Oh!" Sara decided she might as well tell him. She spoke blankly, "Stu and Jenna had sex so Jenna is going to die and I'm going to die with her."
"No! NO! They didn't! They had sex? What? Doesn't Stu listen?" Randy rubbed his forehead tensely.
Sara sighed then said all excitedly, "Randy! Let's have sex!"
"Why?" He became confused again.
"You see, I'm such a good friend that I'm willing to die so Jenna isn't lonely in hell. Plus, it will be fucking great to torture Stu even while I'm dead!"
"You and your friends..." Randy shook his head in amusement.
"As the beautiful Shaggy once said 'Friends don't quit!'" Sara quoted. Sara thought then remembered the funeral and asked, "Hey, do you want to go to a funeral with me?"
"Who died?" Randy asked.
"You'll see," Sara replied menacingly, "Oh! You have to wear black!"
"Okay..." Randy said but he didn't move. He just stared at Sara for a moment, considering things he could do at that moment. He kissed her softly as he wrapped an arm around her.
Sara pulled away from him and stood up. She glanced toward the door and whined, "Let's go! Dead things don't bury themselves, you know."
"See? We're so boring!" He stood up as well and followed her to the door. She stopped, turned and looked at him and felt him kiss her while pulling her into him. She started kissing him back then stopped and said, "No! We have a funeral to attend!"
"I'm not going," Randy pouted and turned away from her and started lurking back to his bed. A devilish grin spread across Sara's lips as she crept up behind him. As he collapsed backward on his bed Sara crawled on top of him. His eyes were wide as she kissed him.
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Jenna found a couple of empty shoe boxes in the closet and questioned, "Do you think these are casket enough for our crazy blonde friend?"
"I guess so," Kayleigh shrugged, not really having an opinion on the subject.
Jenna sat down on the floor and set the boxes side by side after taking their lids off. She, without looking, raised a hand in Kayleigh's direction. With out saying anything Kayleigh handed Jenna her own mangled 13 Ghosts t-shirt. Jenna took the shirt and hugged and kissed it before putting it in one of the boxes. She sighed sorrowfully and said, "Tragedy has struck!"
"What happened to your shirt anyway?" Chip wondered.
Jenna blushed slightly as she lied, "Sara's SLC Punk t-shirt went on a killing spree and 13 Ghosts Shirt was the first to fall victim to it's attacks."
"In other words, Stu and her had crazy mad sex where he ripped her shirt to shreds...." Kayleigh summed up.
"She lies," Jenna instantly said in embarrassment as she avoided Chip's wandering eyes.
Kayleigh grinned slightly at Jenna's discomfort and tossed Jenna a black permanent marker while saying to her purple haired friend, "Well Jenna, if you have sex while being friends with crazy celibates your sex life becomes a major topic of discussion. You should have seen this coming."
"You all are celibates?" Chip's eyes widened slightly.
Jenna snorted then reassured, "No Chippo, we aren't celibates! It must be Kayleigh's word of the day or something. Sex is just frowned upon."
"Apparently," Chip muttered as he watched Jenna pull the cap off the marker.
Kayleigh looked at her bare wrist as though there was a watch there and wondered out loud, "I wonder what's taking Sara so long."
"Maybe Randy murdered her. What a pity...." Jenna said emotionlessly.
Chip laughed at her tone and asked sarcastically, "You can only hope, right?"
Jenna started laughing loudly then stopped suddenly when she saw the skeptical looks she received. She raised and lowered her eyebrows repeatedly then said in a deep voice, "Did anyone here order a Love Burger?"
Kayleigh joined in when Jenna started to laugh again and Chip just sighed as he thought, "Obviously someone forgot their medication!"
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Randy kissed her back and she pulled away. She grinned at him menacingly and said, "I'm no longer in the mood. Let's get to the funeral!"
"Don't do this to me, Sara," He whined as she got off of his bed.
Still grinning She replied, "Buy me something!"
"Okay! What do you want?" He asked eagerly, watching her as she grabbed her trench coat off the ground and put it on.
She laughed at him and insisted, "I'm kidding! I'm not a whore!"
She started moving toward the door, rolling her eyes at nothing in particular. She looked at him again and smiled as she reached in her coat pocket. She pulled the framed picture of herself that she had taken from Stu's room out of her pocket and tossed it on the ground. She shrugged and said, "Use it for voodoo or something."
He grinned as Sara continued to speak, "Put something black on and come over to my room when you're done. And just remember, you psychopath, chaos didn't kill the dinosaurs! Sex did!"
"Your the one who wanted sex!" He pointed out.
"We need to watch The Shining!" Sara said with a nod. When he asked her why she answered, rolling her eyes as though he should have known this, "You know! The dude tries to get fresh with the chick in the room and she turns into a decomposing ugly woman who's old!"
"Maybe that's the kinda thing I'm into," Randy joked, laughing at Sara's horrified expression.
Upon realizing he was kidding she joked back, "Then I guess things are over between us seeing as I can't give you what you really want."
"I guess we should end it. It was good while it lasted, Oh lady Scream Queen!" He blew her a kiss.
Sara laughed and opened the door. She didn't even look at him as she said, "Hurry up and prepare for the funeral!"
She left, closing the door behind her. Randy sighed and looked after her longingly. He thought out loud, "She's out of her fucking mind! I like that..."
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"So, your into horror movies, right?" Jenna asked Chip as she held the two shoeboxes in her hands.
Chip opened his mouth to answer but Kayleigh cut in, "Like Sara would invite him to stay here if he didn't. He is basically Randy."
"Why does everyone keep saying that?" He shook his head, not seeing any resemblance at all.
"You both are video store geeks," Kayleigh explained.
Chip pretended to be offended as he inquired, "How am I a geek?"
"Take it as a compliment," Jenna insisted as she stood up from the floor, setting the shoeboxes on the nearest bed.
As she stood the door swung open and Sara entered with goofily dreamy smile on her face. When she noticed everyone, especially Chip she frowned and asked, "Are you guys ready? Are you all wearing black?"
"You have eyes," Kayleigh pointed out as she eyed everyone's black outfits.
"Well, my dears, I shall change as well," She sighed and walked into the closet, closing the door behind her.
Jenna stared after her in suspicion and whispered to Chip and Kayleigh, "I think she and Randy were up to no good."
"I heard that!" came the muffled voice of Sara from the closet.
Chip grinned and commented, "You girls are very entertaining with your constant accusations."
"Well, you really wouldn't blame us if you knew us more," Kayleigh exchanged menacing grins with Jenna.
Sara walked out of the closet, buttoning up her trench coat quickly. Chip stared at her oddly then said, "That was quick."
"Yeah.... I'm as quick as the Flash," Sara got a childishly awed look in her eyes as she thought of the comic book super hero.
"Nerd..." Jenna commented with a shake of her head. She grinned then asked, "What are we going to do now?"
"We are waiting for Randy," Sara said, a cheerful smile taking over her face.
Chip rolled his eyes, immediately feeling dislike for Randy. Kayleigh noticed this and said, merely to spite his eye roll, "Randy rocks!"
"Its okay, Chippo!" Jenna said happily, "I'm sure you rock, too!"
"Drop dead!" Sara said suddenly, not even listening to what anyone was saying. They all sent her stares that told her she was crazy and she smiled innocently and said, "I have issues..."
"We all know," Kayleigh insisted with a slow prolonged head nod.
Chip grinned as he said with child like innocence, "If you have an issue, don't worry because so does everyone around you. If you have many issues buy yourself a box of tissues. You can't say tissue without issue!"
"Right..." Sara eyed him strangely then jumped slightly when she heard a knock sound from the door.
"A little jumpy, aren't we?" Jenna teased as she walked toward the door and opened it to see Randy.
He waved a silent greeting and peered into the room to see everyone ready to go. Sara smiled at him happily and said, "Your so slow, Randy!"
"Its not his fault! Not everyone can be as fast as the Flash," Jenna grinned as her blonde friend returned to her awed childish trance at the mention of her favorite hero.
Kayleigh rolled her eyes and asked, "What are we going to do with the deadness?"
"We're going to bury them, Silly!" Sara picked up one of the shoeboxes and started heading toward the door. She moved past Jenna and pushed Randy out of the doorway carelessly.
Kayleigh grabbed the remaining box and questioned, "Why are we burying them?"
"Because they are dead," Jenna answered as Sara opened her mouth to speak. Sara nodded happily then stopped and stared at her purple haired friend and asked in a paranoid tone, "Are you reading my mind again, clone person?"
"Yes, I am," Jenna replied sarcastically as she walked out of the room as well. She tried thinking of something witty to say and when it came to her she mocked, "There isn't much in there to read."
Sara sighed, disappointed at Jenna's slowness and said, "You guys really are no where near being as fast as the Flash."
Kayleigh left the room and Chip followed close behind her, closing the door behind them. Chip glanced around at everyone as they all began walking and asked, "Where are we going to bury the things?"
"Who died?" Randy asked as he eyed the shoe box Sara held. Then he guessed, "Did you guys have a pet hamster no one knew about or something?"
Sara glanced back at Chip and answered, ignoring Randy completely, "Well Chip, I think we'll bury them out side, in the earth."
"Who died?" Randy repeated after everything fell silent. He glared at Sara slightly for ignoring him. Sara just smiled at him sweetly, blew him a kiss then stuck out her tongue at him in silence.
Jenna rolled her eyes at them and answered, "In one box is my shirt that kind of ripped." She made it a point not to mention Stu as she continued, "In the other box is my lost innocence...."
"Sara already told me about you and Stu," Randy said once he realized who she avoided mentioning. Sara's eyes widened as she smacked Randy in the chest, mad at him for saying what he did.
"Sara, did you tell everyone?" Jenna asked in frustration. She then yelled loudly, "That's right people! IM A WHORE! Jenna Lively is a whore! Whore, whore, WHORE!"
Kayleigh pointed at Jenna as she laughed and teased, "Whore!"
"Whore? Me? IM A WHORE?!" Jenna questioned in a yell. Then she shrugged and said calmly, "Your right."
"I need to meet this Stu fellow," Chip commented as he walked along with them, slightly startled by Jenna's outburst.
Sara shook her head persistently and said, "No you don't! He deserves to BURN! Just like your cookies!"
"Cookies?" Everyone repeated in confusion.
Sara shrugged, "Cookies! You know, you bake them and eat them and puke them up because they're poisoned. You all are so perverted!"
"What kind of cookies are you baking?" Kayleigh asked.
"Apparently, poisoned ones," Chip commented.
They pushed through the doors when they arrived to them and left the building. Jenna sighed and asked, "Aren't we going to look suspicious burying something?"
"Hey, how the hell are we going to bury stuff? We don't have shovels," Randy added. Sara's eyes widened as she realized she forgot that minor detail as she muttered, "Ummm...."
"Never fear! I have just what we need," Kayleigh reassured, patting the pocket to her trench coat. Chip eyed her pocket skeptically, "Riiight..."
Cold wind whipped around them as they walked on the cement sidewalks, following Sara as she headed toward her ideal burial spot. She glanced at Randy, sending him devilish looks. He slyly placed his arm around her, which made Jenna roll her eyes at them. Then she teased, "I bet twenty bucks that you two end up dying just like me."
"Never!" They said in unison as they exchanged looks that agreed that they probably would. Kayleigh shook her head in disappointment and muttered, "We all are going to perish by the end of this semester, I bet...."
"So anyway," Jenna looked at Chip and asked, "Chippo, are you planning on running away from us out of fear?"
"I'm considering it," Chip replied with a grin. Randy just rolled his eyes and opened his mouth to say something cruel. Then Sara stopped walking and announced in a piratey accent, "Alas, my pirate mates! We have reached our destination! Below my feet lay a buried treasure!"
Everyone sent her odd looks and she tilted her head back and laughed insanely. Jenna looked to Kayleigh's pocket and said, "Okay Kay, what do you have that will dig a hole?"
"I have...." Kayleigh reached in her pocket and pulled out a set of silverware: a fork, spoon, and butter knife. Randy raised an eyebrow and asked, "Why do you carry around silverware?"
"I carry around silverware too, ya know!" Sara mentioned, patting her trench coat pocket. Jenna did the same, nodded and said, "We all carry around eating utensils of doom."
"That's quite strange," Chip commented then asked, "How are we going to dig with those?"
The three girls exchanged devilish looks then Sara looked at Randy and asked him, "Randy, will you be my slave?"
"Slave?" He repeated. Jenna and Kayleigh glanced Chip over then stared at each other questioningly. Kayleigh wiggled her eyebrows and Jenna sighed, rolling her eyes. Jenna looked at Chip and asked in a strangled voice, "Chippo, be my slave?"
"Yeah!" Chip answered immediately and impetuously. Jenna smiled and looked toward Sara and Randy expectantly. Sara kissed Randy on the cheek and asked again, "Will you be my slave, dork?"
"Why?" He asked. Sara reached into one of her pockets and pulled out a crumpled up dollar. She placed the dollar in his hand and said, "Fine! I'll buy you!"
"Okay...." Randy finally agreed, pocketing the dollar. Sara moved away from Randy, pointed to the ground and ordered, "Okay Slave boy, dig a hole!"
"What she said!" Jenna pointed to Chip the ground. Both Randy and Chip looked confused and questioned in unison, "Are you serious?"
"Fuck yeah!" Sara and Jenna answered together, nodding toward the ground. Kayleigh handed Randy a spoon and Chip a knife. They both just stared at the utensils until Jenna ordered, "Get to it, slaves!"
Randy shook his head, laughing as he got down of his knees and drove the spoon into the ground. Sara moved toward him and petted his head while saying angelically, "That's a good slave boy!"
"I think I'm going to regret this," Chip mumbled as he got down on the ground next to Randy, stabbing the ground with the knife.
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Stu hung up the phone and said as though Sara was there, "Fuck you, Sara!"
He laid back down, cracking his knuckles impatiently as he wondered when Jenna would be back. He smiled at the thought of last night then thought of what Randy would say. He probably would start ranting about how he was going to have to kill Stu and what not. Stu shook his head slightly, amusement in his eyes. He wondered what Jenna was doing right now.
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Randy and Chip stood up from the ground once they finished digging up two shallow holes. Randy stared at Sara for a moment then asked sarcastically, "Will that be all, Mistress Sara?"
"Fine, you big baby!" Sara rolled her eyes then looked toward Jenna and said, "We shall bury the shirt first because all shall miss it, you big whore!"
They had set the two shoebox caskets on the ground so Kayleigh now retrieved one of them. She handed it to Jenna and muttered, "God speed, wing commander!"
"I'm not on speed, I swear!" Jenna replied instantly as she accepted the box. Chip grinned and whispered to Randy, "Your lucky. Your mistress isn't taking speed."
Randy just stared at Chip in annoyance and moved away from him. Chip sighed and muttered to himself, "Tough crowd."
"Indeed," Kayleigh muttered back.
Jenna sighed and took a step toward the new hole in the ground and set the box in there. Not knowing what else to do she looked at Sara expectantly. Sara rolled her eyes and moved beside her while ordering everyone else, "Get over here! Show some respect to the dead!"
They all huddled around the hole, Randy standing next to Sara and having Kayleigh stand between him and Chip who gladly stood by Jenna. Sara eyed her own, Jenna's, and Kayleigh's trench coats and commanded, "Coats off."
Both Jenna and Kayleigh took off their coats and waited for Sara to do the same. Sara smiled a big, evil smile as she removed her coat to reveal a bright white outfit. Everyone glared slightly and Kayleigh questioned, "What's with the outfit? I thought we were all to wear black and mourn."
"As if I'm gonna be a sheep and do whatever everyone else does," Sara shrugged innocently then said, "Let's get to the funeral. You all can attack me later."
Everyone reluctantly stared at the ground in silence. Kayleigh bent down and took off the lid of the shoebox casket. She stood up straight and held the lid tightly in her hands. Everyone sent her questioning stares and she said, "I think the shirt deserves an open casket."
"Lets all say a few words starting with Jenna!" Sara suggested. Jenna nodded and said in a serious tone, "We are gathered here today to mourn the death of the greatest goddamn t-shirt there ever was-"
"My SLC Punk shirt is better," Sara cut in then silenced herself by placing a hand over her own mouth.
"Right," Jenna rolled her eyes at Sara than continued, "All I want to say to you, shirt, is that I'm sorry I can't sew."
After a moment of silence Kayleigh said in the same seriousness Jenna had, "We shall avenge your death."
"I loved you, shirt!" Sara said, "I loved you like you were my own. If you were I wouldn't have let this happen to you. I'm sorry I never got the opportunity to molest you."
Silence fell and Sara elbowed Randy to get him to talk. He thought for a moment then said with uncertainty, "I'm sorry I couldn't get to know the shirt better."
"What he said," Chip nodded. Randy glared at him while Sara said, "Onto Jenna's lost essence."
"Why are you here anyway?" Randy questioned Chip, dislike in his voice.
"What's it to you?" Chip asked back.
Randy glared and said, "I don't like you."
"Awww. Break my heart, why don't you!" Chip replied sarcastically.
"Gladly," Randy shoved Chip slightly. Chip, surprise on his face, shoved back. The three girls just stood there watching with amusement.
"Slaves, stop!" Sara ordered as Randy punched Chip in the stomach. Jenna rolled her eyes and wanted to leave before they buried her virginity. That's when she decided she would.
Kayleigh tried to break them up by slapping them both on their heads. Sara just stared at the two boys in annoyance. With her friends busy, Jenna decided that this would be the perfect moment for escaping. She started slowly backing away then just started running away with out anyone noticing.
"Stop it, losers or I'll rape you!" Sara said, saying the first thing that came to mind. Randy stopped what he was doing and turned to Sara. She raised an eyebrow at him, questioning why he stared at her.
"Are you going to rape me?" Randy asked, a smile appearing on his face. Sara winked at him and said in a slightly sarcastic tone, "Oh yeah, baby!"
"We're here mourning the death of Jenna's essence and you two just wanna have sex. Well, down with date rape!" Kayleigh shook her head in disappointment at the two.
"Hey!" Chip looked around then asked, "Where'd Jenna go?"
This made everyone look around in search of their purple haired friend. Sara snapped her fingers and said, "Damn it! She escaped!"
"Well?" Randy asked uncertainly, "Should we go after her?"
"She's gonna go see Stu, I bet," Kayleigh thought out loud. Sara looked to be thinking up until she said, "We'd best not. I for one don't want to walk in on those two whores doing whatever they do."
"Should we continue the ceremony without her?" Chip asked. Sara slowly nodded.
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Stu was about to doze off to sleep when he heard a knock at the door. His eyes shot open and he jumped up feeling kind of paranoid. Slowly he shuffled toward the door and opened it. When he saw who it was he smiled and said is an overly confident tone, "Hey Jenna! I see you came back for more."
"Whatever you say," She rolled her eyes and walked into the room. She stared at Stu for a moment and admitted, "Everyone knows."
"I figured as much when Sara tried to kill me," Stu nodded and closed the door behind him. He grinned at her eagerly and she just returned the smile in a shy way. He slowly crept toward her while asking, "Does Randy know yet?"
"Yep," Jenna nodded, sighing loudly. When he finally stood in front of her he wrapped his arms around her and asked, "How did you manage to sneak away?"
"I killed them!" She joked. He moved his face closer toward her's and muttered approvingly, "Good."
She stared into his eyes, wonderingly until they closed when he kissed her. He started moving her backward as they kissed until he moved her onto his bed. He felt her laugh through the kiss and asked, "What's so funny?"
"You are such a man whore!" She pointed out.
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Sara sat on the ground with the second shoebox on her lap. She opened the lid and tossed it aside. Randy stood as far away from Chip as possible after Kayleigh had separated them. Kayleigh stood over Sara, staring down at the box. She asked her blonde friend, "What's in there?"
"Drugs!" Sara lied as she lifted a white envelope out of the box. She ripped open the envelope and pulled out what was inside and saw that they were pictures of people she didn't recognize. Sara wondered out loud, "Who the hell are they?"
Both Randy and Chip came over to her and looked at the pictures. Almost in unison they both answered, "That would be the virgin survivor of Friday the 13th part five." They glared at each other for a moment then moved back to their separated spots. Sara stared at the picture and exclaimed, "You're right!"
She viewed all the pictures and pointed out, "These all are virgin survivors of horror movies!" When she came across a picture of Jamie Lee Curtis she waved it in the air and teasingly asked, "Hey Randy, do you want this since you love her oh so much?"
Randy squinted at the picture, grinned and replied sarcastically, "Oh yeah!"
"Fine!" She tossed the picture towards him but it didn't go very far. Sara returned the pictures to the envelope and set it off to the side. Kayleigh bent down and picked up the a video tape that was labeled 'Evil Porno' and laughed while saying, "Poor Jenna."
"What is it?" Chip questioned. Kayleigh grinned at him then Sara and answered simply, "Just a scary movie Sara made Jenna watch. It scared her out of sex for a long time."
"Porn does that, you know..." Sara grabbed a small leather black bible and gasped. She yelled for no reason, "Jenna owns a Bible! What is the world coming too?!"
"You know what," Randy began after a moment of silence. He stared up at the sky and said, "I bet it'll rain soon."
"Good," Sara and Kayleigh said simply.
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Jenna glared at the ceiling as Stu kissed her neck. Unable to resist she said seriously, "You owe me fifty bucks."
He stopped kissing her for a moment, pulled his head back and stared at her questioningly. He laughed unsurely and asked, "Why?"
"You owe me money for the shirt and the emotional trauma you've caused me," She answered, still serious.
"No!" He said simply.
"Come on, man whore!" She teased, "You owe me!"
"I'll get you the money eventually...." He rolled his eyes. She laughed and said, "Thanks, loser!"
He quickly returned to kissing her neck.
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They felt sprinkles of water fall from the sky after they had covered the now sealed shoeboxes with dirt. Kayleigh stared at Randy with surprise and asked, "Are you psychic?"
It quickly began to rain harder and Sara leaned on her back on the cool grass and let the rain fall upon her. She laughed happily and everyone stared at her in silence. Then she ordered, "Slave boy Randy, come here!"
He walked over to her with out resisting and stared at her questioningly. She patted the spot of grass next to her and he sat down beside her. She pulled him backwards so that he was laying down too. They stared at each other in silence.
"I'm melting!" Kayleigh shrieked. This didn't even get Randy or Sara's attention as he slowly kissed her. Kayleigh rolled her eyes and turned toward Chip. She said in annoyance as he watched them uncomfortably, "Chippo, we might as well return to the room before I melt away into nothingness."
"Okay," He agreed as Kayleigh started heading in the direction in which they came. Sara and Randy didn't even notice as they continued to kiss in the rain.
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Author's note:
Wow.... Long chapter. That probably sucked but never fear for I will edit it later on...
I have finally seen Mad Love so yay for me! It bothers me hearing Matt call someone else 'Matt'. When he first started calling the other dude 'Matthew' I was like 'Stop talking to yourself, Matty! People will talk!' I am a freak! Anyway, on with the story! Funerals for this chapter! It's all good. I wanna rape Randy and Stu.... Don't judge me on that! Usually (when I remember my medication) I'm quite the sane one.
"I am a TRL virgin!" Matthew Lillard
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"What is taking Sara so long?" Jenna wondered out loud in a worried tone.
Kayleigh glanced at her and answered with a shrug, "She's probably murdering Stu around now."
"I guess I'll get a room to myself then?" Chip asked hopefully.
That's when the door swung open and Sara skipped in happily. She smiled at everyone cheerfully which caused Jenna to ask in slight horror, "You didn't kill Stu, did you?"
"Sadly, no..." Sara glared darkly at the carpet as though it itself was Stu. She smiled again and said happily, "We're having a funeral, everyone!"
"Who died?" Kayleigh asked.
Jenna grinned and asked back, "Who hasn't died?"
"We are mourning the lose of Jenna's virginity. And...." Sara added dramatically, "The murder of Jenna's 13 Ghosts t-shirt."
She held up the torn shirt and Kayleigh gasped slightly. Chip glanced around the room uncomfortably until his eyes settled on Jenna. Then suddenly Sara turned to him and said quickly, "Of course you merit an invitation to the festivities, Chip!"
"Is Stu coming?" Jenna asked.
Sara laughed meanly at the question and replied, "Of course not, silly rabbit."
"Should I bring flowers?" Chip asked out of amusement.
Sara nodded in answer to his question then tossed the shirt to Jenna and said, "Find two caskets, Jenna! One for your purity and the other for the blessed shirt."
"Okay..." Jenna muttered slowly.
Kayleigh thought then wondered, "How the hell do we bury her virginity?"
"Put pure things and a casket that represent her better days and we'll bury it," Sara answered.
She turned toward the door and started walking toward it. When Chip asked where she was going she responded, "I'm going to invite Randy to the funeral. Oh! You guys need to wear all black! We must mourn."
"We have to wear black?" Chip repeated as Sara left.
Kayleigh and Jenna looked over each other's dark outfits and said together, "Done!"
"Does anyone have any caskets on them?" Jenna asked, looking specifically at Chip.
He chuckled and said, "I'm sorry. I left all my caskets in the back of my hearse."
"You have a hearse?" Jenna and Kayleigh asked with great interest.
"I was joking..." Chip laughed at their sudden interest. It fell silent for a moment and Chip blurted out in order to stop the awkward silence, "Huge appendages!"
The two girls near him sent him strange, confused looks. Jenna slowly in confusion asked, "Why did you just say that?"
"The truth hurts..." He answered and shrugged.
Kayleigh looked him over then laughed loudly. She quickly stopped her laughter and said, "You guys, we have a funeral to prepare!"
"Why must everyone torment me?" Jenna asked, whiningly.
"Because its fun!" Kayleigh answered happily.
#
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Sara walked into Randy's room without even knocking. She was happy to see that Brock wasn't there and thought Randy just looked so adorable as he slept. She took her trench coat off and dropped it on the floor carelessly. She sat on his bed gently, sitting beside him in great amusement and feeling somewhat sneaky for some reason. She had to bite down on her bottom lip to prevent herself from laughing. She poked Randy a few times until his eyes fluttered open. As soon as they opened she asked, "You wanna have sex?"
"What?" He sat up as his eyes widened in surprise.
"Let's have sex, Randy!" Sara insisted with a crazy look on her face.
"What? Why?" He questioned in confusion, rubbing the tiredness away from his eyes.
She laughed nervously and didn't want to give her motive away so asked back, "Why not?"
He looked to think all of this over, bewilderment still in his eyes as he stated, "We cant! We'll die."
"So? Jenna is going to die so I figured I go with her," Sara smiled innocently.
His confusion transformed into full fledged bewilderment as he asked, "Why is Jenna going to die?"
"God..." Sara said in annoyance, "I wanna have sex and all you can do is talk about Jenna. Damn you, Randy."
"Your the one who brought her up!" He defended.
She looked at him frustrated and asked in a tone to match, "Why are you sending accusations at me?"
"Sara, you need to stop mixing medications! Your crazy!" He shook his head in confusion.
"I see how you are!" Sara stood up and prepared to stomp away. Randy grabbed her by the wrist and pulled her backwards. She fell back on the bed and he kissed her roughly.
When she pulled away Randy eagerly said, "Okay, lets have sex!"
"I'm not in the mood anymore! You ruined the magical moment we could have had," Sara stood up again and was pulled back down. She rolled her eyes and said, "I'll just have to wait for someone else to kill me..."
"What?!" He questioned, jealousy and confusion in his tone.
"It was a joke," She kissed him on the cheek.
He rolled his eyes at her then asked, "Why must you offer sex then give me a weak kiss on the cheek? We are so boring!"
"Do you wanna burn each other? There is nothing boring about that!" Sara suggested.
He laughed then asked suspiciously, "Why suddenly did you want to have sex?"
"Oh!" Sara decided she might as well tell him. She spoke blankly, "Stu and Jenna had sex so Jenna is going to die and I'm going to die with her."
"No! NO! They didn't! They had sex? What? Doesn't Stu listen?" Randy rubbed his forehead tensely.
Sara sighed then said all excitedly, "Randy! Let's have sex!"
"Why?" He became confused again.
"You see, I'm such a good friend that I'm willing to die so Jenna isn't lonely in hell. Plus, it will be fucking great to torture Stu even while I'm dead!"
"You and your friends..." Randy shook his head in amusement.
"As the beautiful Shaggy once said 'Friends don't quit!'" Sara quoted. Sara thought then remembered the funeral and asked, "Hey, do you want to go to a funeral with me?"
"Who died?" Randy asked.
"You'll see," Sara replied menacingly, "Oh! You have to wear black!"
"Okay..." Randy said but he didn't move. He just stared at Sara for a moment, considering things he could do at that moment. He kissed her softly as he wrapped an arm around her.
Sara pulled away from him and stood up. She glanced toward the door and whined, "Let's go! Dead things don't bury themselves, you know."
"See? We're so boring!" He stood up as well and followed her to the door. She stopped, turned and looked at him and felt him kiss her while pulling her into him. She started kissing him back then stopped and said, "No! We have a funeral to attend!"
"I'm not going," Randy pouted and turned away from her and started lurking back to his bed. A devilish grin spread across Sara's lips as she crept up behind him. As he collapsed backward on his bed Sara crawled on top of him. His eyes were wide as she kissed him.
#
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Jenna found a couple of empty shoe boxes in the closet and questioned, "Do you think these are casket enough for our crazy blonde friend?"
"I guess so," Kayleigh shrugged, not really having an opinion on the subject.
Jenna sat down on the floor and set the boxes side by side after taking their lids off. She, without looking, raised a hand in Kayleigh's direction. With out saying anything Kayleigh handed Jenna her own mangled 13 Ghosts t-shirt. Jenna took the shirt and hugged and kissed it before putting it in one of the boxes. She sighed sorrowfully and said, "Tragedy has struck!"
"What happened to your shirt anyway?" Chip wondered.
Jenna blushed slightly as she lied, "Sara's SLC Punk t-shirt went on a killing spree and 13 Ghosts Shirt was the first to fall victim to it's attacks."
"In other words, Stu and her had crazy mad sex where he ripped her shirt to shreds...." Kayleigh summed up.
"She lies," Jenna instantly said in embarrassment as she avoided Chip's wandering eyes.
Kayleigh grinned slightly at Jenna's discomfort and tossed Jenna a black permanent marker while saying to her purple haired friend, "Well Jenna, if you have sex while being friends with crazy celibates your sex life becomes a major topic of discussion. You should have seen this coming."
"You all are celibates?" Chip's eyes widened slightly.
Jenna snorted then reassured, "No Chippo, we aren't celibates! It must be Kayleigh's word of the day or something. Sex is just frowned upon."
"Apparently," Chip muttered as he watched Jenna pull the cap off the marker.
Kayleigh looked at her bare wrist as though there was a watch there and wondered out loud, "I wonder what's taking Sara so long."
"Maybe Randy murdered her. What a pity...." Jenna said emotionlessly.
Chip laughed at her tone and asked sarcastically, "You can only hope, right?"
Jenna started laughing loudly then stopped suddenly when she saw the skeptical looks she received. She raised and lowered her eyebrows repeatedly then said in a deep voice, "Did anyone here order a Love Burger?"
Kayleigh joined in when Jenna started to laugh again and Chip just sighed as he thought, "Obviously someone forgot their medication!"
#
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Randy kissed her back and she pulled away. She grinned at him menacingly and said, "I'm no longer in the mood. Let's get to the funeral!"
"Don't do this to me, Sara," He whined as she got off of his bed.
Still grinning She replied, "Buy me something!"
"Okay! What do you want?" He asked eagerly, watching her as she grabbed her trench coat off the ground and put it on.
She laughed at him and insisted, "I'm kidding! I'm not a whore!"
She started moving toward the door, rolling her eyes at nothing in particular. She looked at him again and smiled as she reached in her coat pocket. She pulled the framed picture of herself that she had taken from Stu's room out of her pocket and tossed it on the ground. She shrugged and said, "Use it for voodoo or something."
He grinned as Sara continued to speak, "Put something black on and come over to my room when you're done. And just remember, you psychopath, chaos didn't kill the dinosaurs! Sex did!"
"Your the one who wanted sex!" He pointed out.
"We need to watch The Shining!" Sara said with a nod. When he asked her why she answered, rolling her eyes as though he should have known this, "You know! The dude tries to get fresh with the chick in the room and she turns into a decomposing ugly woman who's old!"
"Maybe that's the kinda thing I'm into," Randy joked, laughing at Sara's horrified expression.
Upon realizing he was kidding she joked back, "Then I guess things are over between us seeing as I can't give you what you really want."
"I guess we should end it. It was good while it lasted, Oh lady Scream Queen!" He blew her a kiss.
Sara laughed and opened the door. She didn't even look at him as she said, "Hurry up and prepare for the funeral!"
She left, closing the door behind her. Randy sighed and looked after her longingly. He thought out loud, "She's out of her fucking mind! I like that..."
#
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"So, your into horror movies, right?" Jenna asked Chip as she held the two shoeboxes in her hands.
Chip opened his mouth to answer but Kayleigh cut in, "Like Sara would invite him to stay here if he didn't. He is basically Randy."
"Why does everyone keep saying that?" He shook his head, not seeing any resemblance at all.
"You both are video store geeks," Kayleigh explained.
Chip pretended to be offended as he inquired, "How am I a geek?"
"Take it as a compliment," Jenna insisted as she stood up from the floor, setting the shoeboxes on the nearest bed.
As she stood the door swung open and Sara entered with goofily dreamy smile on her face. When she noticed everyone, especially Chip she frowned and asked, "Are you guys ready? Are you all wearing black?"
"You have eyes," Kayleigh pointed out as she eyed everyone's black outfits.
"Well, my dears, I shall change as well," She sighed and walked into the closet, closing the door behind her.
Jenna stared after her in suspicion and whispered to Chip and Kayleigh, "I think she and Randy were up to no good."
"I heard that!" came the muffled voice of Sara from the closet.
Chip grinned and commented, "You girls are very entertaining with your constant accusations."
"Well, you really wouldn't blame us if you knew us more," Kayleigh exchanged menacing grins with Jenna.
Sara walked out of the closet, buttoning up her trench coat quickly. Chip stared at her oddly then said, "That was quick."
"Yeah.... I'm as quick as the Flash," Sara got a childishly awed look in her eyes as she thought of the comic book super hero.
"Nerd..." Jenna commented with a shake of her head. She grinned then asked, "What are we going to do now?"
"We are waiting for Randy," Sara said, a cheerful smile taking over her face.
Chip rolled his eyes, immediately feeling dislike for Randy. Kayleigh noticed this and said, merely to spite his eye roll, "Randy rocks!"
"Its okay, Chippo!" Jenna said happily, "I'm sure you rock, too!"
"Drop dead!" Sara said suddenly, not even listening to what anyone was saying. They all sent her stares that told her she was crazy and she smiled innocently and said, "I have issues..."
"We all know," Kayleigh insisted with a slow prolonged head nod.
Chip grinned as he said with child like innocence, "If you have an issue, don't worry because so does everyone around you. If you have many issues buy yourself a box of tissues. You can't say tissue without issue!"
"Right..." Sara eyed him strangely then jumped slightly when she heard a knock sound from the door.
"A little jumpy, aren't we?" Jenna teased as she walked toward the door and opened it to see Randy.
He waved a silent greeting and peered into the room to see everyone ready to go. Sara smiled at him happily and said, "Your so slow, Randy!"
"Its not his fault! Not everyone can be as fast as the Flash," Jenna grinned as her blonde friend returned to her awed childish trance at the mention of her favorite hero.
Kayleigh rolled her eyes and asked, "What are we going to do with the deadness?"
"We're going to bury them, Silly!" Sara picked up one of the shoeboxes and started heading toward the door. She moved past Jenna and pushed Randy out of the doorway carelessly.
Kayleigh grabbed the remaining box and questioned, "Why are we burying them?"
"Because they are dead," Jenna answered as Sara opened her mouth to speak. Sara nodded happily then stopped and stared at her purple haired friend and asked in a paranoid tone, "Are you reading my mind again, clone person?"
"Yes, I am," Jenna replied sarcastically as she walked out of the room as well. She tried thinking of something witty to say and when it came to her she mocked, "There isn't much in there to read."
Sara sighed, disappointed at Jenna's slowness and said, "You guys really are no where near being as fast as the Flash."
Kayleigh left the room and Chip followed close behind her, closing the door behind them. Chip glanced around at everyone as they all began walking and asked, "Where are we going to bury the things?"
"Who died?" Randy asked as he eyed the shoe box Sara held. Then he guessed, "Did you guys have a pet hamster no one knew about or something?"
Sara glanced back at Chip and answered, ignoring Randy completely, "Well Chip, I think we'll bury them out side, in the earth."
"Who died?" Randy repeated after everything fell silent. He glared at Sara slightly for ignoring him. Sara just smiled at him sweetly, blew him a kiss then stuck out her tongue at him in silence.
Jenna rolled her eyes at them and answered, "In one box is my shirt that kind of ripped." She made it a point not to mention Stu as she continued, "In the other box is my lost innocence...."
"Sara already told me about you and Stu," Randy said once he realized who she avoided mentioning. Sara's eyes widened as she smacked Randy in the chest, mad at him for saying what he did.
"Sara, did you tell everyone?" Jenna asked in frustration. She then yelled loudly, "That's right people! IM A WHORE! Jenna Lively is a whore! Whore, whore, WHORE!"
Kayleigh pointed at Jenna as she laughed and teased, "Whore!"
"Whore? Me? IM A WHORE?!" Jenna questioned in a yell. Then she shrugged and said calmly, "Your right."
"I need to meet this Stu fellow," Chip commented as he walked along with them, slightly startled by Jenna's outburst.
Sara shook her head persistently and said, "No you don't! He deserves to BURN! Just like your cookies!"
"Cookies?" Everyone repeated in confusion.
Sara shrugged, "Cookies! You know, you bake them and eat them and puke them up because they're poisoned. You all are so perverted!"
"What kind of cookies are you baking?" Kayleigh asked.
"Apparently, poisoned ones," Chip commented.
They pushed through the doors when they arrived to them and left the building. Jenna sighed and asked, "Aren't we going to look suspicious burying something?"
"Hey, how the hell are we going to bury stuff? We don't have shovels," Randy added. Sara's eyes widened as she realized she forgot that minor detail as she muttered, "Ummm...."
"Never fear! I have just what we need," Kayleigh reassured, patting the pocket to her trench coat. Chip eyed her pocket skeptically, "Riiight..."
Cold wind whipped around them as they walked on the cement sidewalks, following Sara as she headed toward her ideal burial spot. She glanced at Randy, sending him devilish looks. He slyly placed his arm around her, which made Jenna roll her eyes at them. Then she teased, "I bet twenty bucks that you two end up dying just like me."
"Never!" They said in unison as they exchanged looks that agreed that they probably would. Kayleigh shook her head in disappointment and muttered, "We all are going to perish by the end of this semester, I bet...."
"So anyway," Jenna looked at Chip and asked, "Chippo, are you planning on running away from us out of fear?"
"I'm considering it," Chip replied with a grin. Randy just rolled his eyes and opened his mouth to say something cruel. Then Sara stopped walking and announced in a piratey accent, "Alas, my pirate mates! We have reached our destination! Below my feet lay a buried treasure!"
Everyone sent her odd looks and she tilted her head back and laughed insanely. Jenna looked to Kayleigh's pocket and said, "Okay Kay, what do you have that will dig a hole?"
"I have...." Kayleigh reached in her pocket and pulled out a set of silverware: a fork, spoon, and butter knife. Randy raised an eyebrow and asked, "Why do you carry around silverware?"
"I carry around silverware too, ya know!" Sara mentioned, patting her trench coat pocket. Jenna did the same, nodded and said, "We all carry around eating utensils of doom."
"That's quite strange," Chip commented then asked, "How are we going to dig with those?"
The three girls exchanged devilish looks then Sara looked at Randy and asked him, "Randy, will you be my slave?"
"Slave?" He repeated. Jenna and Kayleigh glanced Chip over then stared at each other questioningly. Kayleigh wiggled her eyebrows and Jenna sighed, rolling her eyes. Jenna looked at Chip and asked in a strangled voice, "Chippo, be my slave?"
"Yeah!" Chip answered immediately and impetuously. Jenna smiled and looked toward Sara and Randy expectantly. Sara kissed Randy on the cheek and asked again, "Will you be my slave, dork?"
"Why?" He asked. Sara reached into one of her pockets and pulled out a crumpled up dollar. She placed the dollar in his hand and said, "Fine! I'll buy you!"
"Okay...." Randy finally agreed, pocketing the dollar. Sara moved away from Randy, pointed to the ground and ordered, "Okay Slave boy, dig a hole!"
"What she said!" Jenna pointed to Chip the ground. Both Randy and Chip looked confused and questioned in unison, "Are you serious?"
"Fuck yeah!" Sara and Jenna answered together, nodding toward the ground. Kayleigh handed Randy a spoon and Chip a knife. They both just stared at the utensils until Jenna ordered, "Get to it, slaves!"
Randy shook his head, laughing as he got down of his knees and drove the spoon into the ground. Sara moved toward him and petted his head while saying angelically, "That's a good slave boy!"
"I think I'm going to regret this," Chip mumbled as he got down on the ground next to Randy, stabbing the ground with the knife.
#
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Stu hung up the phone and said as though Sara was there, "Fuck you, Sara!"
He laid back down, cracking his knuckles impatiently as he wondered when Jenna would be back. He smiled at the thought of last night then thought of what Randy would say. He probably would start ranting about how he was going to have to kill Stu and what not. Stu shook his head slightly, amusement in his eyes. He wondered what Jenna was doing right now.
#
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Randy and Chip stood up from the ground once they finished digging up two shallow holes. Randy stared at Sara for a moment then asked sarcastically, "Will that be all, Mistress Sara?"
"Fine, you big baby!" Sara rolled her eyes then looked toward Jenna and said, "We shall bury the shirt first because all shall miss it, you big whore!"
They had set the two shoebox caskets on the ground so Kayleigh now retrieved one of them. She handed it to Jenna and muttered, "God speed, wing commander!"
"I'm not on speed, I swear!" Jenna replied instantly as she accepted the box. Chip grinned and whispered to Randy, "Your lucky. Your mistress isn't taking speed."
Randy just stared at Chip in annoyance and moved away from him. Chip sighed and muttered to himself, "Tough crowd."
"Indeed," Kayleigh muttered back.
Jenna sighed and took a step toward the new hole in the ground and set the box in there. Not knowing what else to do she looked at Sara expectantly. Sara rolled her eyes and moved beside her while ordering everyone else, "Get over here! Show some respect to the dead!"
They all huddled around the hole, Randy standing next to Sara and having Kayleigh stand between him and Chip who gladly stood by Jenna. Sara eyed her own, Jenna's, and Kayleigh's trench coats and commanded, "Coats off."
Both Jenna and Kayleigh took off their coats and waited for Sara to do the same. Sara smiled a big, evil smile as she removed her coat to reveal a bright white outfit. Everyone glared slightly and Kayleigh questioned, "What's with the outfit? I thought we were all to wear black and mourn."
"As if I'm gonna be a sheep and do whatever everyone else does," Sara shrugged innocently then said, "Let's get to the funeral. You all can attack me later."
Everyone reluctantly stared at the ground in silence. Kayleigh bent down and took off the lid of the shoebox casket. She stood up straight and held the lid tightly in her hands. Everyone sent her questioning stares and she said, "I think the shirt deserves an open casket."
"Lets all say a few words starting with Jenna!" Sara suggested. Jenna nodded and said in a serious tone, "We are gathered here today to mourn the death of the greatest goddamn t-shirt there ever was-"
"My SLC Punk shirt is better," Sara cut in then silenced herself by placing a hand over her own mouth.
"Right," Jenna rolled her eyes at Sara than continued, "All I want to say to you, shirt, is that I'm sorry I can't sew."
After a moment of silence Kayleigh said in the same seriousness Jenna had, "We shall avenge your death."
"I loved you, shirt!" Sara said, "I loved you like you were my own. If you were I wouldn't have let this happen to you. I'm sorry I never got the opportunity to molest you."
Silence fell and Sara elbowed Randy to get him to talk. He thought for a moment then said with uncertainty, "I'm sorry I couldn't get to know the shirt better."
"What he said," Chip nodded. Randy glared at him while Sara said, "Onto Jenna's lost essence."
"Why are you here anyway?" Randy questioned Chip, dislike in his voice.
"What's it to you?" Chip asked back.
Randy glared and said, "I don't like you."
"Awww. Break my heart, why don't you!" Chip replied sarcastically.
"Gladly," Randy shoved Chip slightly. Chip, surprise on his face, shoved back. The three girls just stood there watching with amusement.
"Slaves, stop!" Sara ordered as Randy punched Chip in the stomach. Jenna rolled her eyes and wanted to leave before they buried her virginity. That's when she decided she would.
Kayleigh tried to break them up by slapping them both on their heads. Sara just stared at the two boys in annoyance. With her friends busy, Jenna decided that this would be the perfect moment for escaping. She started slowly backing away then just started running away with out anyone noticing.
"Stop it, losers or I'll rape you!" Sara said, saying the first thing that came to mind. Randy stopped what he was doing and turned to Sara. She raised an eyebrow at him, questioning why he stared at her.
"Are you going to rape me?" Randy asked, a smile appearing on his face. Sara winked at him and said in a slightly sarcastic tone, "Oh yeah, baby!"
"We're here mourning the death of Jenna's essence and you two just wanna have sex. Well, down with date rape!" Kayleigh shook her head in disappointment at the two.
"Hey!" Chip looked around then asked, "Where'd Jenna go?"
This made everyone look around in search of their purple haired friend. Sara snapped her fingers and said, "Damn it! She escaped!"
"Well?" Randy asked uncertainly, "Should we go after her?"
"She's gonna go see Stu, I bet," Kayleigh thought out loud. Sara looked to be thinking up until she said, "We'd best not. I for one don't want to walk in on those two whores doing whatever they do."
"Should we continue the ceremony without her?" Chip asked. Sara slowly nodded.
#
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Stu was about to doze off to sleep when he heard a knock at the door. His eyes shot open and he jumped up feeling kind of paranoid. Slowly he shuffled toward the door and opened it. When he saw who it was he smiled and said is an overly confident tone, "Hey Jenna! I see you came back for more."
"Whatever you say," She rolled her eyes and walked into the room. She stared at Stu for a moment and admitted, "Everyone knows."
"I figured as much when Sara tried to kill me," Stu nodded and closed the door behind him. He grinned at her eagerly and she just returned the smile in a shy way. He slowly crept toward her while asking, "Does Randy know yet?"
"Yep," Jenna nodded, sighing loudly. When he finally stood in front of her he wrapped his arms around her and asked, "How did you manage to sneak away?"
"I killed them!" She joked. He moved his face closer toward her's and muttered approvingly, "Good."
She stared into his eyes, wonderingly until they closed when he kissed her. He started moving her backward as they kissed until he moved her onto his bed. He felt her laugh through the kiss and asked, "What's so funny?"
"You are such a man whore!" She pointed out.
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Sara sat on the ground with the second shoebox on her lap. She opened the lid and tossed it aside. Randy stood as far away from Chip as possible after Kayleigh had separated them. Kayleigh stood over Sara, staring down at the box. She asked her blonde friend, "What's in there?"
"Drugs!" Sara lied as she lifted a white envelope out of the box. She ripped open the envelope and pulled out what was inside and saw that they were pictures of people she didn't recognize. Sara wondered out loud, "Who the hell are they?"
Both Randy and Chip came over to her and looked at the pictures. Almost in unison they both answered, "That would be the virgin survivor of Friday the 13th part five." They glared at each other for a moment then moved back to their separated spots. Sara stared at the picture and exclaimed, "You're right!"
She viewed all the pictures and pointed out, "These all are virgin survivors of horror movies!" When she came across a picture of Jamie Lee Curtis she waved it in the air and teasingly asked, "Hey Randy, do you want this since you love her oh so much?"
Randy squinted at the picture, grinned and replied sarcastically, "Oh yeah!"
"Fine!" She tossed the picture towards him but it didn't go very far. Sara returned the pictures to the envelope and set it off to the side. Kayleigh bent down and picked up the a video tape that was labeled 'Evil Porno' and laughed while saying, "Poor Jenna."
"What is it?" Chip questioned. Kayleigh grinned at him then Sara and answered simply, "Just a scary movie Sara made Jenna watch. It scared her out of sex for a long time."
"Porn does that, you know..." Sara grabbed a small leather black bible and gasped. She yelled for no reason, "Jenna owns a Bible! What is the world coming too?!"
"You know what," Randy began after a moment of silence. He stared up at the sky and said, "I bet it'll rain soon."
"Good," Sara and Kayleigh said simply.
#
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Jenna glared at the ceiling as Stu kissed her neck. Unable to resist she said seriously, "You owe me fifty bucks."
He stopped kissing her for a moment, pulled his head back and stared at her questioningly. He laughed unsurely and asked, "Why?"
"You owe me money for the shirt and the emotional trauma you've caused me," She answered, still serious.
"No!" He said simply.
"Come on, man whore!" She teased, "You owe me!"
"I'll get you the money eventually...." He rolled his eyes. She laughed and said, "Thanks, loser!"
He quickly returned to kissing her neck.
#
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They felt sprinkles of water fall from the sky after they had covered the now sealed shoeboxes with dirt. Kayleigh stared at Randy with surprise and asked, "Are you psychic?"
It quickly began to rain harder and Sara leaned on her back on the cool grass and let the rain fall upon her. She laughed happily and everyone stared at her in silence. Then she ordered, "Slave boy Randy, come here!"
He walked over to her with out resisting and stared at her questioningly. She patted the spot of grass next to her and he sat down beside her. She pulled him backwards so that he was laying down too. They stared at each other in silence.
"I'm melting!" Kayleigh shrieked. This didn't even get Randy or Sara's attention as he slowly kissed her. Kayleigh rolled her eyes and turned toward Chip. She said in annoyance as he watched them uncomfortably, "Chippo, we might as well return to the room before I melt away into nothingness."
"Okay," He agreed as Kayleigh started heading in the direction in which they came. Sara and Randy didn't even notice as they continued to kiss in the rain.
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Author's note:
Wow.... Long chapter. That probably sucked but never fear for I will edit it later on...