Disclaimer: All characters are registered and copyrighted to FUNImation, Akira Toriyama, or whoever the heck owns Drangonball Z. Any registered products or characters mentioned in this story do not belong to me.
A/N: Hey everyone! Hope you enjoyed the last chapter. This one is longer, and I think you'll like it. Please review!
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Piccolo flashed his fake I.D. with an air of casualness, entering Bob's Bar with little difficulty. Vegeta and Goku followed, but you wouldn't be able to recognize it was the two as themselves. Their new fake I.D.'s had been provided, with a little green 'persuasion', by Jack. (The Frat leader, to refresh your memory...) He had been confused at first by the request, because it was a very strange one indeed. However, they were able to convince him that it was for some friends, not themselves, and Jack had produced the I.D.'s with empty picture slots, so they could add the pictures themselves. They had just taken the picture that day, too.
Piccolo seemed to not even notice the two women trailing behind him as he walked in, both hands now casually in his leather jacket, his dark sunglasses making the dim light of the room even less noticeable. He took a seat at the bar, sighing slightly and rubbing his temples. The bartender was behind the bar, cleaning a glass with a small yawn, seemingly oblivious to the green man. Piccolo didn't care.
Meanwhile, Vegeta and Goku's attention was else were. They looked all about them, feeling very uncomfortable at the present moment. After scanning the bar completely, they took a seat at a table to confide with one another.
"Guess he's not here yet," Goku whispered, taking another glance around the room.
"Obviously," Vegeta growled. He wasn't in the best of moods.
"Vegeta?" Goku said, still in a whisper.
"What?" Vegeta asked, somewhat snappishly.
"This thing is riding up." Goku whined.
"Well what the hell can I do about it?" Vegeta rolled his eyes as Goku pouted slightly. Goku supposed that this was true, so he fell silent. Well, he fell silent for a while, anyways.
"Vegeta?"
"What?"
"Are you feeling as uncomfortable as I am?"
"What the hell do you think?"
There was a slight pause, as Goku tried to think of what he thought of. But, this concept was way beyond his conception, and he soon became confused with the entire idea of thinking about thinking.
"Could you repeat the question?" Goku asked after a moment.
"Shut the hell up." Vegeta growled.
Goku thought about how Vegeta kept managing to use "hell" in every sentence he had said so far. Oddly, he found this amusing. He decided to point it out to Vegeta. He opened his mouth, just to be cut off by Vegeta's disgusted remark.
"Damn! Close your legs, you moron!"
Goku blinked before pushing his knees tightly together, feeling himself blush. Vegeta seemed to be very disturbed; He kept rubbing at his eyes furiously as if to wash the image he had seen from them. Goku gave him a small glare, "Well, I'm not used to wearing these things!"
"Are you saying I am!?" Vegeta growled.
Goku forgot to whisper as he replied loudly, "Maybe. You probably dress up like a girl whenever you want in private, for all I know." Then, he felt the stares of many people around him and quieted his voice as Vegeta fumed in anger. "Oops," Goku said, in a whisper this time, "Sorry."
Vegeta just glared, then seemed to let it slide. Goku found this a big improvement, since Vegeta had a bad habit of holding grudges for long amounts of time. He didn't get to think about this wonder long though, because Vegeta threw him off his train of thought with his whispered announcement: "He's here."
Goku, remembering to stay casual, turned his head to the side to act as if he was looking at the TV, which now displayed the most recent professional football game. He didn't pay much attention though, because he took a long side glance toward the door, where none other then their coach, Mr. Titebutte, was standing. He was wearing casual clothes; Jeans and a T-shirt--An odd change from his usual sweat pants and worn coach jacket, which he had worn to every single practice they had so far.
Piccolo picked up his glass, freshly refilled, and took a small sip. He could see the unique reflection of his coach as he approached the bar, and then saw him out of the corner of his eye, as he sat a few stools down from him. He smirked slightly to himself as his hand disappeared into the front of his coat. He removed a small video camera, and sat it on the bar. It didn't look like a camera, though, for it was concealed in a small box, with a barely noticeable hole in it. He had to thank Bulma. Even if she could be a bitch, she was very nifty when it came to things such as technology. To a regular passerby, it might just look like a box for a ring.
This little black box hadn't been part of Chi-Chi's plan, in fact, it didn't really have any significance in the entire plan at all. However, Piccolo thought it was a nice touch. It would be a little souvenir from this whole thing. A memento, you might say. And as a plus, some nice blackmail. Call it what you will, Piccolo just knew that it would be something he had to have on film, and he was determined to get the whole thing. He opened the box only a little, his forefinger sliding into it and depressing a small red button that he could not see. He saw a small red light turn on inside, and then closed the box again, keeping it close to his outer arm as it rested on the table, hand entwined around his glass.
'This is gonna be great.' Piccolo allowed himself to turn his head a bit in the coach's direction, as if studying some of the various bottles of fine alcohols in that direction, yet his sunglasses hid his eyes, whose gaze were upon the coach, and also the two women approaching him from behind. Some very awkward women.
Goku walked along side Vegeta, feeling very strange and nervous. Yet somehow, he managed to mask these emotions, as he adverted his thoughts and concentration to walking; A task that was made difficult by the high-heels he was wearing. Already he had almost lost his feet (numerous times) and was being very catious to keep his balance. He managed to make the trip flawlessly from their table to the bar, where coach Titebutte sat. The man was oblivious to them, or seemed to be, as he studied the choices of beverages before him.
Standing behind him now, Vegeta looked at Goku, giving him a nudge with his elbow sharply. Goku nudged him back and pointed at him, then to the coach. Vegeta shook his head furiously, pointing at Goku feircely. Goku sighed quietly and adjusted his skirt in preperation, then tapped the man lightly on the shoulder, holding his breath.
As Titebutte turned, Goku forced his painted lips to stretch into a smile, hoping that Titebutte wouldn't somehow recognize him. Titebutte blinked slightly as he took in the 'woman' before him, giving him a sweeping up and down glance. He also realized Vegeta there, and gave him the same treatment. "Well," Titebutte started, quite breathlessly, "Hello."
Vegeta could feel his stomach churn in disgust. It reminded him of how he had felt when he had been forced into this whole get-up in the first place. He chringed at the memory.
FLASHBACK
"YOU ARE NOT GETTING ME INTO THAT THING!" Vegeta declared in rage, as Bulma approached him, holding the blue dress temptingly in front of him.
"Aw," She pouted slightly and dropped the dress to a one-hand-hold at her side, stepping closer to him. He felt his back touch the wall as he stepped back again to increase the distance of him and the horrid rag, and realized with dread he was cornered. "If you do, I promise we'll do something fun..." Vegeta felt his face run hot as Bulma winked at him, putting her free hand on his chest.
"I am not a woman! You can be the one that does this--you and Kakarot's girl! Why do the MEN have to do this!?"
"Because," Bulma said, with a firm knitting of her brows, "It's your coach, and therefore you get to do the dirty work!" Vegeta saw no logic to this reason what so ever, and began to argue, but stumbled over his words and ended up bursting out, "WHY CAN'T GREEN BEAN DO IT THEN!?"
Bulma's eyelids dropped half over her eyes as she looked at Vegeta, sweatdropping. "How many GREEN women do you see walking around in bars?"
"I don't make a good looking woman anyways," Vegeta changed the subject off of Piccolo, for in the corner of his eye Vegeta could see Piccolo looking severely annoyed at his name being brought up into the subject. "I'm sure you girls would attract him. Unless he likes muscular women." Vegeta cringed at the thought. Sure, a little muscle was fine, but for a woman to be buldging with them like he was would be a wrong sight to him.
Strangely, Bulma grinned. This wasn't the reaction Vegeta had expected. He thought she was going to blow up at him or something. However, she was grinning. Grinning a very strange grin.
"That's just the thing." Bulma stated grimly, still grinning. Vegeta blinked as she held up three magazines in the blink of an eye. The picture he met face-to-body and face with was that of a very extremely muscular man. He then realized that the man was wearing a bikini top to match his speedo bottoms, the trangles stretched taughtly over the man's broad chest. The next realization that came to Vegeta, was that this wasn't a man at all. But it was a woman.
Vegeta recoiled away from the front-page image with something that sounded like a yelp. He fell back, loosing his balance, and lie in stunned disgust. He soon roused, howerver, and sat up spinning his gaze to Bulma. "WHERE THE HELL DID YOU GET THOSE!?" Yes, "those," for it could not be a "that," since there were mulitple magazines in Bulma's grasp.
This is where Bulma's grin turned into a smug look that screamed "Smartass."
"Well?" Vegeta asked.
"Coach Titebutte's car." That was it. That's the smartass answer to why he, a well-fit, muscular MAN, had to dress up like a woman so he looked like a female body builder, because THAT was the kind of woman Titebutte liked. He trembled with disgust.
(A/N: No offense to any body builders.)
Before Vegeta could inquire how Bulma had gotten into the coach's car in the first place, she advanced on him, "So, you see now. You're the perfect girl for the job." She put an emphasis on girl, which Vegeta found quite evil of her, and smirked, sitting down upon his lap on the ground, holding up the dress again as her smirk broadened.
(A/N: I'm sure you are curious about how Bulma got into his car. No, you perverts, she just saw the name "TITEBUTTE" inscribed on the lisence plate, and noticed the window was wide open. She had looked inside to see them lying across the front seat. Taking them had been simple. )
"But--"
"BUT NOTHING! YOU'RE DOING IT WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT!"
END FLASHBACK
What toruture it had been; The dress being forced onto him, as well as the two melons in a bra he had been forced to wear as well; (A/N: Hey, they did it in Mulan! I just watched that movie a little while ago and got the idea. ^.^;) The application of the make-up (which he had struggled through the entire time, but an amused Piccolo had sealed his fate by holding him down for the girls to continue their work) which was so thick he felt as if he were truly wearing a mask; The high-heels had been hell to put on, not to mention WALK in; And the wig! Don't speak of it! There had been no way to keep on the wig unless they tied it on, which had ended up happening, and now the clear thread borthered his neck, and he was sure that Goku was annoyed by it as well. (Both he and Goku had too unruly of hair to have a wig keep down their hair on it's own.)
Vegeta's wig was so curly it could have been called an afro. The brown-copperish color of it seemed almost red in the dim light of the bar, and the light blue dress assentuated the hair-doo quite well. All the thick make-up made him look like some kind of hammered hooker. Goku looked similar, but he was a blonde. They looked like female body builders, with their broad chests, strong arms, and few curves.
To a mixture of Vegeta's disgust and relief, (for it showed the plan was working, so far) Titebutte was obviously entranced. Goku seemed more nervous then ever, though the coach seemed to take no heed.
"May I buy you a drink, ladies?" Titebutte asked, still staring at them with a weird look of happiness on his face. This scared Goku even more. Titebutte, SMILING?! As hard as it was for him to comprehend, he managed to not show his shock.
"Yes, please." Vegeta said, then realized his voice was way too deep to sound feminine. He cleared his throat and spoke again, this time his voice in a higher pitch. "Er, yes please." Goku tried not to laugh as he sat down on one side of Titebutte, Vegeta on the other.
"So," Titebutte steered the conversation, "What are your names?"
Goku and Vegeta froze, looking at each other across the coach. "I'm..." Goku started in a high pitched tone, irregular from his usual, "Go...ku..na...Ehehehe, yeah, Gokuna." Titebutte nodded, seeming satisfied, and looked to Vegeta. "Er, I'm...Ve..ga. Vega." He tried to smile, but he was sure it turned out odd. None the less, Titebutte seemed pleased. "I am Fredrick Titebutte. But, call me Fred. It is a pleasure to meet you both."
'Fredrick?' Vegeta thought, wanting to laugh a loud.
They just nodded, trying to make their smiles look natural. Fred nodded and turned to the bartender, Bob, who asked what they would take. As Chi-Chi had predeicted, he ordered a mild martini. Vegeta and Goku both settled for beer.
Piccolo, who had been observing the entire scene in amusement, realized this was his que. He coughed loudly, wincing. Bob turned from his work, where he had been mixing the martini for Titebutte. Piccolo then gripped his chest, grimancing, and suddenly fell back, off of his bar stool. Bob blinked and rushed to the edge of the bar, leaning forward and peering over it. "Brother, are you 'aight?"
Piccolo just lie gripping his chest, and twitched on the floor.
Titebutte, thankfully, didn't seem to recogize him as he watched in mild concern and wonder. Vegeta's eyes, however, weren't on the twitching Namekian. He saw the door to the kitchen open, and then watched as a girl with blue hair quickly exited and rushed to the lone martini. Goku watched too, as Bulma opened a small vile, and pour the contents into the drink. It was completely clear, and when she left again, the martini looked untouched.
FLASHBACK
"Are you sure this will get him drunk?" Chi-Chi asked, holding the small vile to the light to examine the clear water-looking substance.
"Positive. I created it myself. It's very strong, and the effects will take hours to wear off. And, even after they do, he'll be knocked out for atleast 13 hours straight."
"How do you know? Have you tested it?"
"Well..." Bulma grinned sheepishly, rubbing the back of her head. "Yes. I had actually created it before we had a plan to do all this, just for an experiment. I needed a human test subject, and well...I spiked Claire's beer because I was mad at her. She had been being a bitch all day."
"Oh, I see," Chi-Chi laughed, "Well, this is perfect for the job then. Thanks."
END FLASHBACK
Piccolo had been counting mentally as he spasmed randomly on the floor. After 15 seconds, he knew that the deed had been done and that the act could end. He coughed and sat up straight, rubbing his chest. "Damn," He coughed more, and stood up, a look of mild pain on his face. He shook his head and wiped his brow with the back of his hand. "Sorry about that." Piccolo sat down and lifted his empty glass to Bob. The dark man blinked at the sudden recovery, but decided a drink might do the green man some good after such a spell. He took it and filled it, then set it down in front of Piccolo, who (still looking a bit ruffled) gulped down the entire thing.
Bob laughed to himself as Piccolo seemed to feel better immediately, and returned to the martini. He began to stir it after adding another ingrediant, then picked it up, pausing for a moment. Piccolo watched though his shades, feeling his stomach turn. He felt as if his heart stopped beating as Bob lifted the drink to his fac,e giving it a curious sniff. Then he froze for a moment; Piccolo let out a silent sigh of relief as Bob seemed to recognize nothing new, turning to Titebutte. He delivered the drink, then poured the beers for Vegeta and Goku, then returned to work.
Vegeta watched Titebutte casually as he picked up his beer. Titebutte laughed a little, "Well, that was something else." He then brought the martini to his lips and tilted back his head, downing half of the drink. He set down the half-emptied glass, and immediately....hiccuped.
Goku blinked slightly, then looked across at Vegeta. Vegeta just watched Titebutte. The coach had a dazed smile upon his face, and stared blankly foreward. Vegeta cleared his throat some and took a drink of beer. "How's your drink?" He asked, remembering to keep his feminine tone. Titebutte looked at him, and Vegeta sweat dropped as his dazed smile turned into a crazed maniac-like grin.
"It's FABULOUS!" Vegeta and Goku almost fell back from shock at the loud exclamaition. Titebutte laughed loudly, and grabbed his glass so roughly Vegeta thought it might break in his grasp. He swung it up to his mouth and gulped down the rest of the drink. Goku sweat dropped as he watched with wide eyes.
Titebutte jumped to his feet, facing the two with a smile of pure insanity. Goku had thought a regular smile was scary from his coach, but this one gave a new meaning of fear to Goku. Titebutte grabbed both of their arms, catching both by surprise, with an enexpectedly strong grip, even to the two saiyans. He then yanked them out of their seats, dragging the stunned men, disguised as women, toward the dance floor.
This all happened so quickly Piccolo barely was able to turn the box in time to get it all on camera. He snickered inwardly as he watched the scene at a long side glance. Titebutte was acting crazy. He was attempting to swing both of them about, with little effect, since they were now aware and resisting with superior strength. However this resistance caused some wild fire to burn brighter within the coach, and he finally was able to force the two to dance with him. Piccolo grinned, 'Bulma must have put something STRONG in that martini.' He snickered loudly into his hand, unable to hold the laughter back.
Goku tried to act as if he was enjoying himself as he was swung about wildly. He was a bad actor though, and even worse when he was made to act while at the same time trying to stay on his feet; The high-heels sliding and slipping about wildly beneath him. He hoped the coach was to pass out soon--if he didn't soon he'd probably brake his neck in these shoes!
Vegeta semed very aggrivated at the whole situation, but the unfamiliar shoes were giving him the same trouble. He didn't bother to hide his annoyance. This didn't phase the coahc at all though, who was in a drunken state, eyes closed as he laughed heartily. Vegeta's eye twitched.
Goku looked like he was getting motion sickness. Vegeta was very tempted to knock out the coach on his own, when suddenly, Titebutte stood erect, saluted them both, then passed out on the floor limply.
"Finally," Vegeta growled, picking up the unconcious man with a grunt. The strange sight was watcvhed by many stunned bar-goers, as the muscular woman carried the full-grown man easily over her shoulder to his barstool, setting him down. He then looked to Goku, "Our jobs done, let's leave."
Piccolo grinned and picked up the box, which was still open and recording the entire scene, getting up from his seat. He walked to them, holding the box inconspiciously at his side. "Well, ladies, well done. You did your job well, even if you look...well...hideous." He burst out laughing, but remembered he was in a public place, and reduced the laughter to a faint snicker. Vegeta glared coldly at him as Goku pouted a little. "I didn't think I looked THAT bad..."
"I'd like to see how you would look in a get-up like this, Green Bean." Vegeta growled, then crossed his arms. "Can we leave now?"
"Yes, Ugly." Piccolo grinned as Vegeta's eyebrow twitches greatly, a vein in his forehead pulsing. Piccolo quickened his pace toward the door, Vegeta hot on his heels, going as fast as he could without making too much of a scene.
Goku sighed and stood, picking u his purse. He brushed off his skirt, straightened his back, lifted his chin, and walked after them, shaking his head. "Men."
~*~
Well, that was fun! ^.^ Not trying to turn Vegeta or Goku gay period, I just thought that last part was funny and a nice chapter wrap-up. Hope you all enjoyed! Please review! Uhh..next chapter update is TBA. ^.^;; This next week is going to be really busy, so don't get your hopes up.