Zander knelt down beside the grave, he didn't really know what to say. He had never been so inclined to go to visit someone's grave before, even his own mother's. He was feeling so much guilt about what he had done eight years ago, he felt so much sorrow, his conscience was letting him be at peace with what he had done. "I am so sorry, Em. I didn't mean for any of this to happen to you, I tried so hard to protect you, to love you and my anger got the better of me and took it all away from you and from me." He wiped the tears that fell against his cheek, just as a very cold breeze brushed against the back of his neck, it sent a chill straight down the bone. He looked up quickly to make sure he was alone, because he certainly didn't feel that he was.
The fog began to lift off the damp ground as he knelt there with her. He reached into his jeans pocket and pulled two gold wedding bands from it. He held them in his hand as he looked down on them and remembered what he and Emily had shared together, he sniffled back the tears as he laid the two bands together on the base of the stone. It was his final farewell and though he didn't want to, it was time he left go. He chuckled to himself as he remembered a funny moment he had with her, he wiped a tear from his cheek and smiled. All he kept in his heart were the good memories of the time they shared together. "Do you remember the time .. " he chuckled to himself as he remembered another funny moment .."when your Grandfather caught us in bed together in your room, the first time? I thought I really was a goner, Em .. he was seeing red. Of course the mass hysteria from your family saved my hide that day." he said to her, hoping she was listening to him from beyond the grave. He never really believed in that stuff, but in that moment, it felt good talking to her. "Oh, and remember that day at the park, when I ran the Breast Cancer course twice! Boy was Eddie fuming that day, he didn't think I could do it, but I did it Em. I showed him and everyone else .. yeah that was a good day." his words drifted off as he remembered. "Now it's all gone, all but a memory for me, cause I took it all away in one precious instant.
The cool wind rustled the trees and startled him from his thoughts. He felt a warmth in his heart that he had never felt before and he knew she was there with him. He closed his eyes as the tears streamed down his cheeks, "you're here with me, aren't you...." he whispered to himself as he placed his hand on the front of the small monument her name was engraved on. "Zander .. I'm always with you." a soft voice said from behind him. He quickly turned to see who was there with him but saw no one. He brushed it off like he didn't hear what he thought he had heard. It was crazy to think that it was Emily, she was gone and there was no bringing her back to him. He felt a warm hand on his shoulder that startled him as he quickly got up from his knees and backed away from the grave site. "No .. this isn't happening." he said to himself as he wanted to explain what just happened as his imagination playing tricks with him. He felt again the warmth that surrounded his heart and then heard the voice again. "I'm proud of you Zander .... and I love you...." the words drifted off to be heard no more.
An overwhelming feeling of comfort over came him has he made his way towards the black iron gate. He turned and glanced once more at the gravesite, perhaps hoping what he felt inside him would some how become real. That she really would be standing there for him to take her in his arms and never let go. He hung his head in sadness when that didn't happen, he sniffled back the tears and said a final goodbye. He pushed against the gate to leave, and he felt a sense of relief, like so much had been lift off of him. He stepped through to the other side and closed the gate, just like he had found it. He stared at her grave from a distance, only to remind him of what could of been and now he could never have.
He walked back towards his car to find his brother standing there waiting for him. "I knew you'd be here." Ric said as Zander approached wiping the tears from his eyes. "What? You were following me?" Zander accused as he opened the driver's side door of his car. "No, I was concerned. Brother's are allowed to be concerned, right?" Zander patted him on the shoulder. "Thanks but I'm fine. I just needed to see her, I guess to rid me of the demons." "Did it help?" Ric asked. "Yeah, I guess it did." "I'm glad, I hope this can all be put to rest now. I think we all need to put what happened behind us. It's time to move on and to let go." Zander got in his car and closed the door. Letting go had been the hardest part for him, he had been guilt ridden for some time, but he didn't feel it anymore. "Let's hope so." Zander replied as he turned the ignition and started the car.
"I'll meet you back at the PCPD. We got a criminal to catch remember?" Zander gave him a nod and pulled away. He looked down on the seat beside him, he didn't know why, he just felt the urge to and he noticed two gold wedding bands laying together side by side. An overwhelming feeling of emotion rushed over him, he reached for them and took them in his hands. In that moment, he knew what had happened back at the grave site was not his imagination. He looked up and thanked her, as a tear trickled down his cheek.