The Reason
"I'm not a perfect person"
Kami knew he wasn't perfect. The blood of so many innocents rested
on his head. How many had he slain for his own gain, convincing himself it
was to protect his lands? He could lie to others but not to himself.
"As many things I wish I didn't do"
There was so much he regretted doing. How many nights had he lain
awake, wondering if he could ever be redeemed.
"But I continue learning"
She hadtaught him so much. She had stuck with him until his frozen heart
had finally melted. There was no way he could repay her.
"I never meant to do those things to you"
Why had he driven her away? He loved her. He was yokai enough to
admit that to himself. But why...
"And so I have to say before I go"
...why had he not been able to tell her? Maybe part of him still tried
to conceal his emotions behind that mask of nonchalance he had always
worn. She tried to change that but it was a hard lesson for him to learn.
"That I just want you to know"
He wanted so badly to tell her.
"I found a reason for me, to change who I used to be"
Whenever he was around her, he felt that maybe he could change.
"A reason to start over new"
He definitely wanted to start over. To... to build a new life with her.
He wanted to erase his past and build a future with her by his side.
"And the reason is you"
He knew what his reason was, but when would he be able to say it?
"I'm sorry that I hurt you"
Kami! He was so sorry! He had never meant to cause her pain of any
sort. How could he have been so blind?
"It's something I must live with everyday"
He had to live with the pain. Every second he felt the magnitude of
what he had done.
"And all the pain I put you through"
Now he knew that pain. She had spoken of it before. Now he knew. It
was like a thousand swords being driven into his heart.
"I wish that I could take it all away"
How he wished he could take back all the anguish he had caused her.
But there was no way. He had done what he thought needed to be done. He
should have realized to factor in his love for her. No, it wasn't carelessness.
He had honestly thought that he could live without her. He knew better now.
"And be the one who catches all your tears"
Tears...he had seen them in her eyes as he set her down outside the well-
house. He had heard them in her voice as she asked him why. And he had
felt them burn in the back in the back of his throat as he turned silently
away...leaving her with no answer.
"That's why I need you to hear"
Every fiber of his being wanted to tell her how he felt. He knew he
would suffer silently until he did...
"I've found a reason for me, to change who I used to be"
What had he been before her? An empty shell of a youkai. Before...
he thought he had no use for emotions.
"A reason to start over new"
He had become a new person. One capable of feelings...of love.
"And the reason is you"
He must tell her.
"I'm not a perfect person"
No, he wasn't perfect, but she had never expected him to be.
She...she had loved him anyway. No one but Rin had ever had that kind of
unconditional love for him.
"I never meant to do those things to you"
He had to make things right with her...before it was too late.
"And so I have to say before I go"
He couldn't hold back his feelings any longer. Her lesson had finally
sunk in.
"I've found a reason to show"
She would have no doubts.
"A side of me you didn't know"
He would finally let the whole world know how he felt...
"A reason for all that I do"
...the one thing he lived for...
"And the reason is you"