Thanks for all the comments and thanks to the lovely Eljay as always

At noon the next day Ryan was helped in to the SUV. Despite his claims that that he didn't need help and with much rolling of eyes on everyone's part they were soon on their way back home.

Ryan was more tired than he would like to admit. It was the most moving he had done in a long time. He had to use a crutch but he could only use one since his other arm was in a sling. The Doctor suggested a wheelchair temporarily but Ryan vetoed that idea pretty quick. Like sicking a shrink on him wasn't embarrassing enough. Ryan leaned sideways resting his head on the nice cool passenger side window and watched the cars zoom by.

Sandy and Kristen were in the front and Seth sat beside him in the back. Seth had wanted to drive, but Sandy joked that he wanted to go home not have another trip to the hospital. Ryan managed to ignore their banter for the most part until Seth started nattering at him about something.

"So Ryan, Trey is your older brother right?"

Ryan barely mumbled a confirmation in reply.

"So you're like used to being the baby right?"

Ryan lifted his head and turned to Seth annoyed. "Seth what are you talking about?"

Kirsten turned around in her seat. "You two behave; don't make me stop this car," she teased.

Seth stuck his tongue out at her.

"No need." Sandy piped up. "We're home."

The SUV pulled in to the driveway. Seth quickly hopped out and got to Ryan's side before he had even removed his seatbelt. "Seth," the other boy complained lightly.

"Aw, common on Gimpy get a grip."

"I'm not a gimp." But Ryan smiled despite himself. Ryan handed Seth his crutch and then grabbed the youngest Cohen's shoulder using him for balance as he pulled himself out of the vehicle. Kirsten and Sandy stood nearby with confused but happy smirks on their faces. "What!?"

Sandy raised his hands in mock defense. Kirsten smiled and led the way in to the house. The family congregated in the kitchen and Ryan attempted to hobble out towards the pool house but froze at the door. He forgot that his pool house was actually by the pool.

The late afternoon sun glittered off the soft ripples off the eternity pool. Past the pool off in to the distance was the ocean, where the water seemed to go on forever. Ocean, sharks, no air... drowning. Ryan's breath caught in his throat. His good hand shook rattling the door handle, his stomach flipped in on itself and the edges of his sight grew black.

"Whoa, whoa, easy kid." Sandy grabbed his arm just as his knees started to buckle. "Let's get you on the couch in the living room okay?"

Ryan shook his head trying to clear his vision. He was sitting on the couch but he didn't actually remember moving there. It was more then a little disconcerting. Seth and Kirsten both stood in the doorway looking at him like he was about to sprout horns or something. Sandy sat on the edge of the coffee table looking at him concerned. "I'm fine." Ryan tried unconvincingly. His voiced even sounded shaky to him.

"You are anything but fine, Ryan. Care to tell me what happened there?"

Ryan's eyes darted between all those looking at him. He just wanted to disappear into the couch. He dropped his voice low, nearly a whisper. "I don't know. Maybe I'm just tired."

Ryan stared at the carpet but he could feel Sandy's eyes boring in to the top of his head. Finally, Sandy let out a sigh of resignation but Ryan knew Sandy wouldn't let it go.

"We'll talk about this later. For now, upstairs to rest."

Ryan looked up then. "Upstairs?"

"Kirsten and I talked about it, you just didn't give us a chance to tell you. You can stay in the guest room until you're better. Then we can talk about moving you in here permanently."

"But, why?"

Sandy laughed. "Oh so now you want to talk. Seth will help you upstairs."

Ryan wobbled to his feet with an arm out from Sandy and started to hop towards the stairs.

Seth met him at the stairs. "Want me to tuck you in to?"

Ryan just glared at him.

"I mean I feel it's my responsibility to watch out for you now," Seth commented as Ryan hopped unsteadily up the first couple of stairs.

"Seth, what the hell are you talking about?" Ryan huffed.

Ryan could see the evil glint in Seth's eye. He was totally up to something. "Ah, never mind for now, let's get you up stairs, squirt." Seth keep a steady grip on Ryan's upper arm.

"Seth, keep it up and I'll beat you with my crutch."

Seth's grin grew from ear to ear. "You'll have to catch me first."

It hadn't taken Ryan long to fall asleep. The room was dark with the curtains drawn, despite the fact that it was only the middle of the afternoon.

Ryan dreamed of the YMCA. Not the song by the gay guys in strange costumes but of the swimming lesson he took through a school program when he only seven. The other kids were all in the deeper end treading water but Ryan refused to get in. One of the boys in his class yelled at him, making fun of him. Others giggled and pointed. Ryan stood shivering, his toes gripping the rough edge of the pool. The water was deep here, but the instructor told him he had to get in or get out of the pool area. So he held his breath, held his nose shut with his right hand and jumped.

He burst through the water and he could feel the cool air disappear. He kicked his legs but found no purchase. He kept sinking. He wanted to yell for help but there was no air. He could see the pool's underwater lights flash blurrily in the distance. He kicked his legs and flailed his arms but everything he did seem to cause the opposite effect than the one he was trying to achieve. His chest hurt and things started to grow very foggy. His knees scraped the bottom, scraping and tearing... clouds of red pooled up beside him.

He opened his mouth and screamed, "NO!"

He shot upwards in his bed gasping for air. Pain lanced through his body and he couldn't seem to catch his breath. Suddenly there were arms and soft voices in his ears. His heart was still racing and he shook, fighting panic. "No," he gasped over and over again. "That never happened, that never happened."

Slowly he became aware of his surroundings. He was clutching on to Kirsten, who had pulled him in to her embrace. "Shh," she whispered quietly in to his ear. "Deep breaths; it was just a dream, just a dream." Her hand moved soothingly over the back of his head. Out of the corner of his eye he say Sandy in the doorway of the room as well.

Ryan tried to jerk back realizing what he was doing he was acting like a child. But Kirsten held on to him for a moment longer. She let go when Ryan was able to take a deep breath and wiped at the sweat that trickled down from his hairline.

"You okay now?" Kirsten whispered.

Ryan gave a quick nod as he lay back on the bed and turned his face to the wall unable to look at the concerned faces of his foster parents. He wasn't used to other's carry. This was all too much. If he could just ... maybe... He really wasn't sure what to do anymore. Everything was all mixed up.

Kirsten kept a motherly hand of concern on his side. "Was it just a dream? Do you want to talk about it?"

Ryan felt like a child. Then a horrible thought crossed his mind. "The last thing I remember was Seth and water." He couldn't control the involuntary shudder that ran through his body then. "The I woke up and Sandy was there ... he said I'd been really sick. Was I delirious? Did I say anything ...bad?"

"You woke up a couple of times in between. You don't remember that?"

Ryan shook his head.

Kirsten gave him a soft smile when he finally looked up at her. She reached forward and brushed his bangs of his face. "You could never say anything bad."

Ryan groaned inwardly. That always meant he did say something he shouldn't have. He closed his eyes in an attempt to control his run away emotions. Why did it seem like everything was so hard lately? "What did I say?"

Sandy's voice came from the doorway. "You said something about sharks. You called for Trey to help you and for Seth because you couldn't find him. That's it. Nothing incriminating. Was there something you wanted to tell us kid?"

Ryan shook his head again. He couldn't find words that would express how he felt any better.

"Well," Started Kirsten trying to lighten the mood. "Supper's about ready. How about Sandy helps you down stairs Gimpy you must be hungry."

Ryan raised an eyebrow at Kirsten. How did they do that? The Cohens had a way of disarming him at the best of times. He gave a small smile despite himself. "I'm not Gimpy but then I haven't eaten yet."

Kirsten punched him in the shoulder lightly. "Its take out."

Supper was relaxed. The Cohen's did their best to keep things light. He spent the rest of the night playing video games with Seth in the living room. Around midnight they threw a movie in the DVD player. Seth fell asleep half way through 'Hellboy' and frankly Ryan couldn't blame him. Stretching lightly Ryan grabbed his crutch and hobbled to the kitchen. His arm and knee were both aching despite the pain meds Sandy forced on him earlier.

Milk, he needed milk. He hopped over to the fridge. This lame duck thing was going to get old fast he sighed to himself as he awkwardly tried to hold the fridge door open while not to spilling the milk. Success! He pulled the milk carton from the fridge and put it on the counter.

A flickering light caught his attention and he turned. Moonlight streamed in to the darkened room glinting of the pool. He closed his eyes took a deep breath. He needed to get a grip. It was just the pool no sharks...lots of air. What was his problem? He could deal with this it was no big deal. He could control this.

Blinking he limped towards the door. His hand shook on the handle and he willed it to stop. He had to do this the Cohen's would never give him a moments peace if he didn't. It was just water. Seth and him had been floating in it with Summer and Marissa not all that long ago. It had been no problem then. He could do it now.

He took a couple of steps forward. Till his barefoot hit a puddle. He freaked.

The crutch went one direction he went another. He fell heavily on the concrete with a sickening crunch.

TBC