Realization

Disclaimer – This mostly contains original things except the fact that it is a fanfiction that is based on RO. That is all.

A/N: Thanks for a wonderful time in Iris Kairi21 or was it Kirameku, Hikari. Don't know. This is a one shot concerning me and my teen angst. I'm not really sure if I'm going to continue this afterwards because it can stand alone as a one shot. Now, I'd like to present to all of you in my other self, Gabriel Heavenborn(don't know why? Read "a novice's life") to present this fic set in the RO world. You might not understand it at first but trust me, look at the deeper side of this fic and you will get it. WARNING: this can have spoilers you know since ALL my fics are interlocked to each other.

Father Azecolt opened a portal in front me. With rosary in hand, I stepped on it. My hair blew upwards; a fast wind came from the portal. Within a few seconds I was gone. This was it, the time I've been waiting for. I came to a dark space. Nothing, absolutely nothing was there; Just me and my rosary. It was dark, nothing. Was I dead? I could still here myself breathe slowly. I was still alive. I crawled myself into one corner; If such a thing excited in that realm. I began to examine my thoughts, so deep yet so meaningless.

Death

This might be the only meaning for now. Everything that is happening for the past 16 years of my life was for nothing. Is this the truth to reality? What must one do to survive in a world where he is rejected for the person that he is?

Love

It is the weakness of the human soul and mind. The ultimate deceiver lies within the person that is loved. A weakness maybe, but still strong inside one's mind. Is there really a thing that controls these emotions within each of us?

Hope

The constant fading light that shadows itself whenever I need it. A pure nothing is within it. All those who ask for it depend on it. They lose themselves to the thought of Hope existing. But whatever we do, this never comes.

Fear

It is the thought of something that hinders the human mind. A strong sensation that flows within us comes whenever "this comes". Something that awakens at the time of near death can be said. It is the shadow that lurks behind the mind, whispering lies of deceit.

Hatred

It is the burning idea that rages the mind. It controls us for something we wish to do but have no courage to do it. It turns us into beasts of war and bloodshed. Using us as tools of carnage to spread the word of "It".

Sorrow

Nothing ever comes to this. It reaches no end; neither good nor bad. It is that pain that we feel upon ourselves. We feed out soul to it. It slowly shatters the sanity within us. It is this that blocks our way to happiness

Joy

This is the sweet sensation that our mind feel. It feeds our minds with the small things in life that make it worthwhile. A secret to content is what it holds. It is the key to a brighter future –if such a thing ever existed-.

Darkness

The symbol of nothingness resides within this one. They see this is the evil that dictates our vile actions. But those who say that are too shallow to understand. It is that continuous voice that heeds to corrupt us but in turn help us understand who we really are.

Pride

Let nothing before you be greater than this. This is another one of meaningless thoughts. We let ourselves be controlled by something so useless in this blackened world. The actions we do during these times…they are worth nothing for they do not need praise to stand.

Faith

Keep these thought to yourself for it differs in each person. It has no exact form; it changes in each and every one of us. It is the feeling that we must believe in a thing that we cannot sense. It is the trust we engrave on the mind of others.

I was back in the chapel, in front of Father Azecolt. He grabbed my hand and pulled me up. He gave me a look in the eye, a stare into the eyes of a priest who has done all he can. He whispered onto my ear.

"Gabriel, you realized that there is nothing in this world that we humans must exist. That nature can stand alone without us. But because of that, you realized why you wished to be an acolyte. You were tasked by god to spread his will. His indomitable will that resides within a few of us. It is true that we are useless in nature. But because of this, we yearn to survive."

It came to me; everything that I said when I was back there. It all now came into perfect harmony. Death, Love, Hope, Fear, Hatred, Sorrow, Joy, Darkness, Pride and Faith: They were the aspects of life. Why we exist is because of these simple thoughts. If we were to live now, we must accept who we were created to be. Whether or not we exist to destroy or heal, we must accept ourselves and go change. Not ourselves, but the community that is bound to us.

As I left the chapel, I looked back at Father Azecolt smiling. I smiled back at him. He was able to change who I was and what I wanted to do with my life. I cannot forget his last words to me: "We might not meet again, nor could you remember me. But always keep in mind that you are tasked with something now. You are now an acolyte"

The day was about to end. I sat down on the walls of Prontera and saw the sun at its fall. In the background is the place where all this came from; a place where I met friends as well as enemies. Some say its just nothing but for me, the Academy might be the most meaningful place that I will always remember

The End