Everlasting Battle For Live
Part I: The Brotherhood
Written by: Kalinenaka
Cold that's how it feels. Cold and empty. Like this night in February. You can feel the chilly wind through your clothes. Even if you try to hide from it. But you can't hide, it's impossible. The wind will catch you. And if he doesn't, then the darkness of the night will. They always work together, as a team, a brotherhood. The wind with his coldness' and the night with his emptiness'. Together. Ever.
But brotherhoods can be broken....
It may be cold and empty outside. But it's nothing compared with my feeling inside. It's been a long time ago since my heart felt warm, safe and beloved.
To be precise it's been 2 and a half years ago. But I can remember that day as yesterday. It follows me ever since.. The nightmares I had, the cold and empty feeling in my heart, the death of two off my friends, the members of the Ministry of Magic who asked me all those questions, and off course the full moon nights. Which have been nasty lately. It all has to do with that single day in August.
Since that day my life changed much, to much.
I remember once that we sat under a tree in our seventh year. We discussed our future. I still had faith in the future, then. 'What do you expect from life Padfoot?' Peter always asked those questions.
'I mean, next year you can't beat the Slytherins anymore.' 'Yeah, I know Wormtail. Then I just have to do it with my dear family.' The black haired boy answered him with a small smile. 'What about you?' The boy with the messy hair and glasses asked. ' To be honest Prongs, I want to have power. You know, standing above others. That type of stuff' 'Why would you dominant about other people?' James asked him in return, looking confused. 'Why not, what's the point in being low in rank?' Peter asked him back. 'Then what do you want to do?' Sirius asked James. 'I don't know for sure, but I'm thinking of becoming an Auror. He Moony, you're being far to quiet. How about you?' I looked up from my book, only to find out that all the three faces were turned to me. I thought about it for a moment. 'I don't know what I should become. With my condition and everything. I only want to know is that we keep together.' I said. Nobody said something for the next few minutes. James stared to the ground and Peter stared to him. Only Sirius kept looking to me. Like he was searching for something beneath. 'Let's go back to the castle.' James offered. We stood up and walked back. The rest of the day Sirius was absent-minded. He didn't say much. And when somebody asked what was bothering him he just said that there was nothing going on. And that they shouldn't pay attention to him. Not even James. Later that night, when we were asleep. I heard a voice calling me. 'Moony, are you awake?' 'Yes Padfoot, I am.' I turned to face Sirius, who has standing in his T- shirt at the edge of my bed. A few minutes later. 'Are you want to keep standing there or what?' I asked him, looking slightly confused. But I already knew what was bothering him. 'Moony.. Can uhm... Can I... May I..' 'Yes, come in Paddy. Can't sleep?' 'No, not really' He looked at me with a small smile as he walked to the bed. 'What's bothering you Padfoot?' I asked as soon as he was under the blankets. He turned his face and looked to me with his pale blue eyes right into mine. 'I just keep thinking of what you said under the tree. You know I would never leave you, right?' He said very quietly, I almost didn't hear it. 'Yes Padfoot, I know.' I answered him, before I even knew what I had said. We both fell asleep in my bed soon after.
If Sirius only didn't betray James and Lily, then it could be a hole lot different. Why did he betray them anyway? Did he got a huge offer, or did he get tired working as a spy? Or did he do it just for fun, just like he sometimes would beat the shit out of the Slytherins?
O yeah, the Slytherins where his pray, no doubt about that. Every time I thought that it couldn't become any worse, that it was the last drop for the teachers, James and Sirius proved me wrong. It must have been the dog inside of Sirius what made it possible for him to do all that stuff without getting caught. Well, there were times that we got caught, and that we suffered in detentions and stuff. But even then we were still together. Also thanks to the magic mirror from James and Sirius. I don't know what we used more; the mirrors, the Marauder's Map, James' invisibility cloak, or our wands.
I think it was in our fifth year, just after our O.W.L's. We were sitting in front of the fire, in our common chairs. Everybody was asleep, except the three of us. James and Peter were playing magic chess, and I was reading a new book I got. Sirius was in detention, 'cause professor McGonagall found out that he had dyed Snape's hair red. And she wasn't too happy about it. He had two weeks of detention and there were 30 points taken from Gryffindor the next day. But what she didn't know was that Sirius hadn't dyed Snape's hair. I did, and Sirius just accepted his punishment. He didn't betray me. I almost finished reading my book, when the portret swung open. 'THAT STUPID GIT!!!!!' Sirius yelled. 'I CAN'T BELIEVE IT' He kept yelling as he walked his way towards us.. 'Relax Padfoot, why don't you just tell us what's happened.' Sirius stopped a few metres from us. He thought about it a minute, and then said. 'I don't know if I should, 'cause it isn't a pretty picture.' 'Padfoot, we're your friends. If you don't tell us what's wrong, I will dye your hair green.' I said to my angry friend. He looked at me with an expression on his face I never saw before. Fear.
'I don't know if you should hear it Moony, I don't think you should.' He said, still standing a few metres away. 'Look mate.' Peter began. 'Just sit down here, and start your story. Moony will let us know if it's to much for him.' 'That's right Wormtail, Padfoot just sit down.' I said facing Sirius. 'I don't know.' 'Padfoot, sit down please.' It was James who finally said something. 'All right then, but only if you tell when it's to much, even if you're a Marauder Moony.' 'Off course Padfoot. You know I will.' 'Now your sitting, tell us what happened.' James spoke again. 'Look, I was walking towards McGonagall's office for my detention. And when I almost got there I walked into Malfoy and Snape. I planned to ignore them, but Malfoy said that he knew why you were always gone Moony.' Sirius stared to the ground. 'Tell me what he said.' I began to shake a little bit. He looked into my face and said; 'He told me that you were a Death Eater, Moony, I'm sorry.' It was quiet for a minute. For James spoke. 'Well, look who said it. Malfoy. That should explain everything. I bet he is.' 'Yes. That's true.' I managed to say. 'But still, he said it.' Padfoot shuggered. 'Well, what can we do about it?' I asked. It was than when there came a big smile on Sirius' face. 'I am glad you asked Moony.' 'Oh no. Padfoot, you have detention already.' Peter said, fearing for the same thing as I. 'Oh yes Wormtail, I am.' 'And I will help' James said immediately. 'We never let a Marauder down.' 'So, that's settled then. Wormtail and I will also help you out.' 'Well, OK then.' Wormtail said facing Prongs. 'Got something in mind Padfoot?' James asked. 'Yes. I might have. But this time I want to do this huge. So they will not forget it. And so they will never say something like that again. I thought off changing the hole Slytherin dungeon into the Gryffindor common room. And by that I literally mean everything. The tables, the chairs, the bookcase, even the password.' After Sirius' speech it was quiet for a moment. 'That's brilliant Padfoot. But how are you going to do that.' I asked. 'That part I didn't found out yet. It's up to you and Peter to think of something. After all, I'm in detention, and James got Quidditch practice.' 'Great.. leave it to the wolf and the rat to find everything out.. Thank you, world biggest prat.' Sirius looked to me. 'You're welcome Moony.' 'By the way, what did you do to Malfoy when you heard it?' 'To be honest Prongs, I turned his hair pink..' 'HAHAHAHA.' The three of us roared with laughter after hearing that. 'And what did McGonagall said to you when she found out?' James somehow managed to ask Sirius, while he put his glasses back on his nose. 'Ooh, that. Between the steam from her ears I think she said something of another two weeks of detention.' Sirius said dryly. And again the Gryffindor common room was filled with laughter. 'What?! It's not funny guys!!'
The following two weeks the Marauders were very quiet. We were busy planning the Slytherin-movement. That's how we called it. It took all our free time. But that was worth it. We planned to do it on a Sunday evening. Very late in the evening..
That night we kept sitting in our chairs as the rest of the Gryffindors went to bed. When it was half past one in the evening Sirius spoke. 'James, have you got the cloak?' He asked. 'No, I left it upstairs, I'll get it.' 'Take the Map also, would ya.' James run away. A minute later he got back. 'Look I got everything. Let's go now.' 'Yes.' I said. We crawled with the four of us under the cloak, and climbed out of the common room. 'Who is there? I can't see you, but I know you are there somewhere.' The Fat Lady said half asleep. 'Let me see the map Prongs.' I asked him. 'We must go to the left.' 'Where are Filch and Mrs Norris?' Peter asked 'Filch is in his room. And Norris is outside the castle' I answered him a moment later. 'We must walk to the Library first. So we don't walk into Peeves' 'All right, let's do that.' James whispered. We walked about this way for about 40 minutes. Then we had finally gotten to the Slytherin portret. 'He Wormtail, what's the password' Sirius asked. 'It's full-blood.' 'How do you...?' I began before he spoke again. 'Heard Malfoy saying it.' And the portret swung open.
'Every time I get here I start to shiver.' Peter spoke. 'Quiet, you might wake them!' I whispered in his ear. 'Let's do it fast and get over with it.' 'Yeah, my idea.' So we started working. We started on the Girls rooms at first. We worked fast and quiet.. Still all together under the cloak. With our wands out. Peter got the map in his pocket. We changed everything. The bed, their clothes. Even their pillows.. When we were ready with the girl rooms we went to the boys. 'He let's put the boggart in Malfoy´s closet, than we can really laugh.' Sirius said half sneering. 'Good one Padfoot. Let's do that.' I whispered back in his ear. 'Who may have the honour?' Peter asked 'Moony off course, he's the one why we're doing this.' 'Well, what are you waiting for Moony, we haven't gotten all day.' James gave me the boggart we put in a bottle. I carefully set the bottle in Malloy's closet, and made sure that if he opened the door, the boggart came outside. 'This is going to be fun' Peter said with a huge smile across his face 'Come, we're ready with the boy rooms.' James said. 'OK. Now the biggest part, the common room.' It took us a compete hour to change the common room. We were thrilled with the result 'One thing left. The password.' I announced 'Yeah, what should be the new one' James asked 'That may Moony decide. What's it going to be Moony?' Sirius looked at me with those pale grey eyes again. 'I don't know yet... How about 'mobile phoon'?' 'Moony that's brilliant, noone will know that. Let's take that one.' 'Yeah, I agree Prongs.' And so it was.
It took us a quarter of an hour to change the password. After we had done that we were ready with our mission. We crawled under the cloak again, and walked our way back to our common room. When we were halfway back. 'I'm hungry, let's go to the kitchen first.' 'Yeah, good one Prongs, I'm hungry to.' Sirius reported to us. 'If we eat quick then we're back on time.' I was kind of hungry to. I always have a great apathy when the full moon comes along. 'Well, where are we waiting for then?' So we did. We walked to the kitchens.
'Chocolate frog.' James said when we got by the portret The house-elf's where glad to see us, and they made our favourite food. They even dropped food for later in our pockets.
An half hour later we decided to go back to our beds, we hadn't slept all day. So we were pretty tired. At least I was, I don't know about the others. We thanked the house-elf's, ('Oh no masters, it was our pleasure!!') and crawled under the cloak again. We were just out of the hallway before Sirius froze still. And I crashed onto his back. 'Shit, Norris.' He managed to say 'Keep still, then she won't spot us.' James whispered 'Mrs. Norris may not see us, but she may smell us or the food.' Peter said with a high voice 'If we turn around, and walk away silent, then she won't spot us.' And they did what I told them. Mrs. Norris followed us for the first ten metres, but then she just turned her back to us, and walked away.
'Moony, you're the best!!' Peter cheered as soon as we where out of her reach. I couldn't help but to smile, and I saw that Sirius started smiling to, although I don't know why. 'Let's take this stairway, then we cut off half of our way back' 'OK Prongs' I heard Peter say
And from that moment it all happened so quick. We were just walking down the stairs, when Peter stumbled over the invisibility cloak. He fell against me. And I tried to remain standing. But in my effort to keep standing I grabbed Sirius' arm... which I better hadn't done... The three of us fell down the stairs.......
And every time someone hit the stair there was a loud bang... It looked to me that we couldn't stop falling...
We fell off the stairs and on the ground. We finally stopped falling as we collapsed to the wall across from it. And that was the biggest bang I ever heard...
Once we lied down on the ground my head felt like shit, and my stomach felt upside down.. I heard James call us. 'Are you OK, you three just felt like hell?' 'Yeah really Prongs, I am OK. I just fell of that cursed stair, what do you think I am!!' I could hear the sarcasm in his voice 'Well, Sirius you seemed to enjoy the trip..' 'BLAST YOU WORMTAIL!! It's all your fault!!' 'Let me help you up, OK?' James asked the now very angry Sirius. 'Yeah, all right then.' He didn't thanked James for doing so. Peter was the next to stand up, I was still sitting on the ground. 'You look sick Moony.' When I opened my eyes, I saw a worried Padfoot sitting in front off my nose. 'I'm OK Padfoot, just a little bit tired of tonight. That's all.' 'Look.' James began 'If we don't go now, Filch will find us. And I don't know about you, but I don't want another detention with him ever again.' But just as he said that, we heard a voice above us....
'Well well well... look who it are.' It was the voice off the devil himself. 'Peeves don't, please don't.' Peter began. 'What shouldn't I do?' 'Please don't tell anybody that we're here.' James begged Peeves 'Ooh... the Quidditch champion is begging. But not near enough..' 'Peeves, please let us go.' I asked the ghost, while I stood up. 'Loony, Loopy, Lupin,' Peeves sang; 'Loony, Loopy, Lupin-' 'Shut up Peeves! You have no right to call Moony that!! You only bring trouble to us!!' 'STUDENTS.. STUDENTS OUT OF BED... HERE ARE STUDENTS OUT OF BED!!!!!' 'RUN!!' James yelled. And that was my signal to go. In a reflex I saw that James grabbed the invisibility cloak from the ground and we ran away. We ran down the hallway, and as it couldn't be any worse, we saw Filch coming at the end of the hallway running towards us. 'SHIT, TURN....' Sirius yelled. And so we all did. We ran under Peeves again and ran onto the stairs were we fell off... 'Hey Loony Loopy..' Peeves started again, but he couldn't sing any further because he was busy avoiding an apple Sirius threw. So from that moment we had two followers behind us. 'Not so fast please..' I heard Peter saying behind his puffs. 'Let's split up' 'I go with Moony, you take Wormtail and the invisibility cloak.' 'All right, see you in the common room.' 'See you soon.' I yelled to the others as soon as we came across an other door. 'Last one in the Gryffindor tower is an rotten egg!!' I hear Sirius yelling to the other ones. James and Peter went in the direction of the astronomy tower. Sirius and I ran back to the Slytherin dungeons.
'Shit. Filch is following us instead of Prongs and Wormtail..' Sirius said to me, while we began to run even faster. 'Let's go upstairs.. ' I suggested. 'All right.'
I don't know for how long we kept running. It seemed to me like ages. We ran straight past professor Binns with Filch on our tail.. 'Hey professor. Your test was an easy one!' Sirius yelled to the ghost as we ran past him. 'Well thank you, mister Black..' He yelled back to us. 'What the hell was that?' I asked him when we ran on an other stairway 'Ooh, I needed to say that anyway.' He answered with a smile. 'Your crazy, you know?' 'Why thank you dear Moony.' He said still sneering
'Doesn't that old man ever get tired' I asked while we kept running.. 'Neah, I think not.' Sirius said.
'I wish he stopped following us..' I said when we came across the D.A.D.A room. 'I know what you mean.' Sirius said between his breaths
'I'm getting tired off running..' I complained when we ran in an other hallway 'Where do you think James and Peter are?' 'I think that they are save and well sleeping in there beds by now.' I said again. 'Yeah, that's what I thought to.. They always have it easier, why does Filch always follow us?' 'Because you kicked Mrs. Norris remember..' I said to my confused friend. 'That was because that stupid cat walked in my way.' 'And because you wanted to kick her anyway' I said sneering. 'Maybe just a little bit.' He answered also sneering.
We sped up our running, and we made distance between us and Filch. If we just could find a hiding place, we were save.
To my relief I saw a door, and from experience with James I knew we where save in there.. 'Let's go in there, he won't look for us there.' I told Sirius 'All right then, if you say so.' And so we ran towards the door which I opened. First I walked through the door, followed by Sirius. 'So, we're save and well.' He turned to me, just after Sirius shut the door. 'What!! Are you kidding me!' He looked at me angry. 'We're in the girls toilet.' He said as I looked confused. 'Yeah, I know. But Filch won't look for us in here.' 'And what if a girl comes here, what do you say then ''we lost our way'' or something like that.' 'Ha-ha, no Padfoot. Girls don't come here. I promise.' He looked at me confused. 'How can you tell.' 'Padfoot, don't you know where we are?' 'No, should I.' 'Come on Padfoot, from all the people I know...' 'What..' he began to say, but before he managed to make his sentence there was an other voice.. 'Hello there. What are you doing there?' The voice came from above us. But I already know who it was, Sirius seemed rather misunderstanding..
'Did isn't ugly Myrtle's pee, is it?' He asked me in disbelief. 'Wheeeeeeeee..' 'Look what you did!' I said to him as Moaning Myrtle began to cry. 'What did I do this time?' He said angry looking to Myrtle.. 'I'm sorry for you hearing this Myrtle. Please forgive my stupid friend. He doesn't know any better.' I began. If She kept screaming and crying we would still be found... 'Ooh it's you Remus. Off course I will. Just because of you. Are you hiding again?' She asked me. 'Yes Myrtle, and if you don't mind we would like to stay here for a while.' 'Off course you can, but I don't know about him.' And with that she gave a wink to Sirius. 'He is my friend, he would like to stay here to.' I said and by that Sirius looked angry at me to. 'No, I would not like to stay here with this ugly ghost thank you.' He said. Making a mistake, a big mistake..
And then it happened again.. She start crying again... The door swang open, and we ducked away.. When I looked up, I saw Filch standing in the door opening. I could count all his yellow teeth, so huge was his smile. 'Well well well, it looks like I finally got you after all.' He said.. 'Follow me, and don't do anything stupid now, I got you anyway.' 'We know the way to professor McGonagall's office.' Sirius said rather rebellious. 'Haha. No, we aren't going to professor McGonagall. I better take you to professor Dumbledore, then I can make sure that you'll pack your suitcases this afternoon. Come on now, don't look sad, nobody is going to miss you.'
And so after an complete hour running, he still managed to get us. I was a bit scared, I didn't want to go home. I liked it here. And at home certainly not. We didn't say anything the rest of the way. I only heard Filches happy mumbling...
'You are in trouble now, you wish you hadn't done that. Well it's to late for that now...' 'Password?' asked one of the gargoyles 'Bertie Bott's Every Flavour Beans.' Filch said when we got to professor Dumbledore's office. The door opened, and the staircase emerged. 'Step in.' And we did what Filch told us to do. Just because we wanted to get over it. Soon as we stood on the stair, it began to move. I know where we went. Sirius seemed to know to. That staircase took us to another door. And just behind that door there was professor Dumbledore's office. 'Walk in, I'll just stay here..' That was the last I expecceted to hear from Filch. Sirius opened the door, and walked in. I followed him.
'Hello, that took you two long enough.' I heard a voice saying. I saw that professor Dumbledore was sitting in his chair behind his desk. He looked at us with an amused expression on his face. I also noticed that we weren't the only two students there. 'What are you two doing here?' Sirius asked in disbelieve to James and Peter. 'It seems that we have a little reuning here.' Professor Dumbledore said still smiling. 'Have a seat.' And with that he sketches two new chairs. Sirius and I sat down. 'I was just asking these two what they where doing tonight out off bed. Before the both of you entered. I suppose you can tell me more than what they did.' 'I don't know what they already said to you sir. So I don't know if I can tell you more then you already know.' Sirius began. 'You're a smart boy Mr Black. So far I am told that you just went to the kitchens to grab something to eat.' 'That's true professor.' I said a little bit smiling. If we could make professor Dumbledore believe that, then we might be able to stay here anyway. 'And Peeves can prove that.' Sirius whispered in my ear. 'Yes, it seemed to me that Peeves is a little bit upset about an flying apple.' And Sirius started blushing a bit. 'And why were you going to the kitchens?' 'Because I was hungry sir.' James said. 'And you woke up the other three, I suppose.' 'No sir, I couldn't sleep, Sirius was hungry to, and Remus well you know with his condition and all.' It was peter who saved us many times. He just made people believe him. He had his way with words. 'Yes, very well then. So you went to the kitchens and what happened then?' He asked us. I noticed that some of the people in the portrets were looking at us. I didn't feel comfortable by that. 'We asked if the house-elf's could make something for us, and after we ate we went to our beds again. That's all.' James said. 'Ah, and that's when you saw Filch and ran away.' Dumbledore said still smiling. 'And you didn't thought of telling him the truth, did you?' After that it was silent for a while. 'Let's talk about Peeves. What happened between him and the four of you?' 'He was calling us names sir.' James said 'So, he is after all a poltergeist, you should know better then that.' Dumbledore said coldly. 'So I threw an apple at him sir.' Sirius said as coldly as professor Dumbledore. Dumbledore looked at Sirius and Remus with an almost funny look on his face. 'What's wrong sir?' Sirius asked him after a while. 'Nothing Mr Black, just nothing.' I didn't like that answer, neither did Sirius. 'But why are you smiling like that at us?' Peter asked the professor. 'You reminded me off something I said earlier.' He said, still smiling silly. 'I'll contact McGonagall for this. By now you all know that it's not allowed to walk through the school at midnight.' 'But sir, I'm in detention already.' Sirius began 'Yes I know, she told me already.' 'But sir.' 'No Mr Black. Go back to your beds now.' 'All right then.' And so we stood up, and walked our way back to the Gryffindor common room. With Mrs Norris and Filch on our tail, just to make sure that we didn't get other plans I think. 'Knut' I said 'Finally, I began to worry about you all. I saw Peeves flying here.' The Fat Lady explained as we climbed in. We walked directly to our beds. Didn't say anything to each other. We changed in our nighties also quiet. After an hour, I still couldn't sleep. Peter was asleep, I could hear his snoring, but then I heard Sirius talking to James. 'How long where you in professor Dumbledore's office?' 'About half an hour I think.' 'Oh.' It was silent 'He didn't say anything then, just that we had to wait for you and Moony.' 'How did you got caught anyway?' 'We ran straight into Hagrid. And from there there is no running away.' Again it was quiet for a wile. 'What did professor Dumbledore mean?' I heard James ask Sirius. 'About what?' 'You know Padfoot, when he was looking to you and Moony?' 'I don't know, ask him instead of me.' Sirius said annoyed. Again there was a silence. 'Goodnight Prongs.' 'Yeah, you to Padfoot. And thanks for helping me earlier.'
The next morning we all woke up at the same time. We changed in our school robes and when we walked down stairs we were in heaven, that's how Peter always called it..
'There are our night walkers!!' Somebody said. 'Hey good one.' An other one said. 'Yeah, this time you did a record!!' It kept going on for a wile, until.. 'What do you think you were doing!!' And that was Evans. She was the only Gryffindor that didn't like our jokes very much. 'What did we do?' Sirius asked the red head. 'What do you think. Are you so stupid? Why don't you leave them alone?' She now was angry at him. 'Who do you mean?' Sirius asked her, although he did know what she meant. I could tell that. It's just the look on his face. He knows. 'I will, if you go out with me.' And there was James, always trying to get Evans out on a date. It was a common knowledge that James loved Evans. It was also a common knowledge that Evans hated James. 'Leave them alone, your not God.' And with that she turned around and climbed out of the room. 'Let's go.' I said. And we also climbed out of the room. 'You are accepted by professor Dumbledore's office. I looked up and saw Nearly Headless Nick.' 'What do you mean?' James asked the ghost. 'I just told you, go to professor Dumbledore's office. And by that I mean right away.' 'But why?' I asked. 'That he didn't say. He just asked me to get you.'
So there we went again. 'I think he finally got a punishment for us.' Peter said while we walked to professor Dumbledore. 'I hope it's not that bad. He doesn't know about our other thing.' Sirius said in return. 'I think that he did have a clue, to be honest' I told them, when I saw a Slytherin look very angry at us. Too angry even for his normal doing.
'Oh, you four again. Password' one of the gargoyles said 'Bertie Bott's Every Flavour Beans.' I looked Sirius in disbelieve, how did he know the password of professor Dumbledore's office.. 'What, I heard it Filch saying yesterday.' He said when he saw me. The four of us walked on the stair again, and we came again by the door. But this time the door was open, and professor McGonagall was there too, talking with professor Dumbledore. 'Sit down.' She said sharply to us. And we did. But before we could go on, the Bloody Baron came flying through the wall. 'Sir Dumbledore, I need to speak to you.' The gost said. 'About what?' He asked the ghost 'It seemed to me that there is a small problem with the Slytherin common room.' He said angry looking at us. I saw that Sirius and James were trying to suppress there laughter. Although it didn't work very good. That made me and Peter laugh to. 'What's the problem?' McGonagall asked us. 'Nothing professor. Don't mind us.' James said sneering and laughing at the same time. 'What do you mean?' professor Dumbledore asked the ghost another question. 'There hole room is changed into the Gryffindor common room sir. And there clothes are changed into muggle ones. And every one is locked outside because the password is changed to.' It took some time for professor McGonagall and professor Dumbledore to understand what the ghost just said. Now the four of us roared with laughter. We just couldn't stop ourselves. 'And I must believe that?' McGonagall asked the ghost in disbelieve. 'Yes professor McGonagall. It's true' 'Do you think I have time for jokes like that?' The now angry professor said. 'If it was a joke, but it isn't.' 'You mean all that is true?' 'Yes, that's what I've been saying the past few minutes.' And then it was quiet for a moment, well not quit quiet. We kept laughing very heard. Professor McGonagall made a chair on her own and sat down too. 'You may go now.' Professor Dumbledore finally spoke to the ghost. 'Yes sir.' He went, and moments after that we became a little bit ourselves again. Professor McGonagall still looked shocked. 'And? What do you have to say for yourselves?' Professor Dumbledore asked us. 'Well, nothing sir. We don't even know when it happened.' James managed to say. 'Last night I believe.' McGonagall seemed to be over her shock, and already made a decision about this all. 'I suppose that you four made the change in the Slytherin room.' She continued. 'No, Professor. We didn't. We just grabbed some food last night.' 'Do you think we believe that?' She said. 'I don't know professors, all I know is that we didn't do that. At least not last night. Or any night before. But I must say that it is a good idea for the next time.' That made professor Dumbledore laugh too. 'Do you have proof that you didn't do it?' professor McGonagall asked us disbelieving. 'But on the other hand, you have no proof that we did do it.' Sirius said being the smartass he was. 'Well, professor, it's like this. Last night Moony didn't feel very good. So that kept Sirius awake for a long time. He looked after Moony. James was Hungry, and wanted to eat something. And I can tell because I couldn't sleep from the sound from his stomach. It's a miracle Moony sometimes fell asleep. Although it didn't last very long.' Peter said. Both the professors were silent after hearing that. 'So that's our story professor.' Followed a moment later. 'Yes, very well then. I just assume that you're innocent this time. But I would recommend you not to do such thing, Mr Black and Mr Potter.' 'No sir.' James said. 'We won't sir. ' Sirius said following James. 'And about yesterday.' McGonagall began. 'The four of you have one week detention, that means you to Mr Black. I just keep counting. Starting today.' 'You may go now.' Professor Dumbledore said, still smiling at us. We stood up and walked away. At least that's what I tried to.. 'But that's not fair, We didn't do anything!!!..' Sirius said to both the professors. 'Keep dreaming Padfoot!!' I whispered to my friend who blocked my way..
Yes, it was a nice time then. They made my life look worthy. They were my only friends I ever had. My only friends who ever knew me the way I was. The only ones who made me believe I wasn't a monster.
At that time my heart felt warm, safe and beloved. But everything has an end. And so did my friendship. I only never thought it would end like this. Two of my friends dead, the other one still alive. Living in a rotten cell in Azkaban. Living with the knowledge of betraying his friends.
Now a days my heart stopped loving. I can only feel cold and emptiness in me. But I don't care. I don't want to feel love and friendship of something like that anymore.
I'm scared my heart will break again if I do. I'm scared for feeling a friendship, for being a friend. I'm scared I might be loving a murderer again.. I failed once being a friend, I will not fail again. Even if that means I can not feel it anymore. Even if that means I must give up everything I got.
What will they do if they find out that I'm a monster. That I can kill them every month. Will they become an animagus also. Will they change into an animal just for me. To make sure that I'm all right in the night, I can kill them easily. Will they ever do that? Just for me?
No, because nobody wants to be a friend with a werewolf. A monster. Even not the people I thought they were my friends. They didn't like me. They just liked to say that they had a werewolf as a friend.
Neither my love nor friendship lasted very long.
My brotherhood is indeed been broken..
Part I: The Brotherhood
Written by: Kalinenaka
Cold that's how it feels. Cold and empty. Like this night in February. You can feel the chilly wind through your clothes. Even if you try to hide from it. But you can't hide, it's impossible. The wind will catch you. And if he doesn't, then the darkness of the night will. They always work together, as a team, a brotherhood. The wind with his coldness' and the night with his emptiness'. Together. Ever.
But brotherhoods can be broken....
It may be cold and empty outside. But it's nothing compared with my feeling inside. It's been a long time ago since my heart felt warm, safe and beloved.
To be precise it's been 2 and a half years ago. But I can remember that day as yesterday. It follows me ever since.. The nightmares I had, the cold and empty feeling in my heart, the death of two off my friends, the members of the Ministry of Magic who asked me all those questions, and off course the full moon nights. Which have been nasty lately. It all has to do with that single day in August.
Since that day my life changed much, to much.
I remember once that we sat under a tree in our seventh year. We discussed our future. I still had faith in the future, then. 'What do you expect from life Padfoot?' Peter always asked those questions.
'I mean, next year you can't beat the Slytherins anymore.' 'Yeah, I know Wormtail. Then I just have to do it with my dear family.' The black haired boy answered him with a small smile. 'What about you?' The boy with the messy hair and glasses asked. ' To be honest Prongs, I want to have power. You know, standing above others. That type of stuff' 'Why would you dominant about other people?' James asked him in return, looking confused. 'Why not, what's the point in being low in rank?' Peter asked him back. 'Then what do you want to do?' Sirius asked James. 'I don't know for sure, but I'm thinking of becoming an Auror. He Moony, you're being far to quiet. How about you?' I looked up from my book, only to find out that all the three faces were turned to me. I thought about it for a moment. 'I don't know what I should become. With my condition and everything. I only want to know is that we keep together.' I said. Nobody said something for the next few minutes. James stared to the ground and Peter stared to him. Only Sirius kept looking to me. Like he was searching for something beneath. 'Let's go back to the castle.' James offered. We stood up and walked back. The rest of the day Sirius was absent-minded. He didn't say much. And when somebody asked what was bothering him he just said that there was nothing going on. And that they shouldn't pay attention to him. Not even James. Later that night, when we were asleep. I heard a voice calling me. 'Moony, are you awake?' 'Yes Padfoot, I am.' I turned to face Sirius, who has standing in his T- shirt at the edge of my bed. A few minutes later. 'Are you want to keep standing there or what?' I asked him, looking slightly confused. But I already knew what was bothering him. 'Moony.. Can uhm... Can I... May I..' 'Yes, come in Paddy. Can't sleep?' 'No, not really' He looked at me with a small smile as he walked to the bed. 'What's bothering you Padfoot?' I asked as soon as he was under the blankets. He turned his face and looked to me with his pale blue eyes right into mine. 'I just keep thinking of what you said under the tree. You know I would never leave you, right?' He said very quietly, I almost didn't hear it. 'Yes Padfoot, I know.' I answered him, before I even knew what I had said. We both fell asleep in my bed soon after.
If Sirius only didn't betray James and Lily, then it could be a hole lot different. Why did he betray them anyway? Did he got a huge offer, or did he get tired working as a spy? Or did he do it just for fun, just like he sometimes would beat the shit out of the Slytherins?
O yeah, the Slytherins where his pray, no doubt about that. Every time I thought that it couldn't become any worse, that it was the last drop for the teachers, James and Sirius proved me wrong. It must have been the dog inside of Sirius what made it possible for him to do all that stuff without getting caught. Well, there were times that we got caught, and that we suffered in detentions and stuff. But even then we were still together. Also thanks to the magic mirror from James and Sirius. I don't know what we used more; the mirrors, the Marauder's Map, James' invisibility cloak, or our wands.
I think it was in our fifth year, just after our O.W.L's. We were sitting in front of the fire, in our common chairs. Everybody was asleep, except the three of us. James and Peter were playing magic chess, and I was reading a new book I got. Sirius was in detention, 'cause professor McGonagall found out that he had dyed Snape's hair red. And she wasn't too happy about it. He had two weeks of detention and there were 30 points taken from Gryffindor the next day. But what she didn't know was that Sirius hadn't dyed Snape's hair. I did, and Sirius just accepted his punishment. He didn't betray me. I almost finished reading my book, when the portret swung open. 'THAT STUPID GIT!!!!!' Sirius yelled. 'I CAN'T BELIEVE IT' He kept yelling as he walked his way towards us.. 'Relax Padfoot, why don't you just tell us what's happened.' Sirius stopped a few metres from us. He thought about it a minute, and then said. 'I don't know if I should, 'cause it isn't a pretty picture.' 'Padfoot, we're your friends. If you don't tell us what's wrong, I will dye your hair green.' I said to my angry friend. He looked at me with an expression on his face I never saw before. Fear.
'I don't know if you should hear it Moony, I don't think you should.' He said, still standing a few metres away. 'Look mate.' Peter began. 'Just sit down here, and start your story. Moony will let us know if it's to much for him.' 'That's right Wormtail, Padfoot just sit down.' I said facing Sirius. 'I don't know.' 'Padfoot, sit down please.' It was James who finally said something. 'All right then, but only if you tell when it's to much, even if you're a Marauder Moony.' 'Off course Padfoot. You know I will.' 'Now your sitting, tell us what happened.' James spoke again. 'Look, I was walking towards McGonagall's office for my detention. And when I almost got there I walked into Malfoy and Snape. I planned to ignore them, but Malfoy said that he knew why you were always gone Moony.' Sirius stared to the ground. 'Tell me what he said.' I began to shake a little bit. He looked into my face and said; 'He told me that you were a Death Eater, Moony, I'm sorry.' It was quiet for a minute. For James spoke. 'Well, look who said it. Malfoy. That should explain everything. I bet he is.' 'Yes. That's true.' I managed to say. 'But still, he said it.' Padfoot shuggered. 'Well, what can we do about it?' I asked. It was than when there came a big smile on Sirius' face. 'I am glad you asked Moony.' 'Oh no. Padfoot, you have detention already.' Peter said, fearing for the same thing as I. 'Oh yes Wormtail, I am.' 'And I will help' James said immediately. 'We never let a Marauder down.' 'So, that's settled then. Wormtail and I will also help you out.' 'Well, OK then.' Wormtail said facing Prongs. 'Got something in mind Padfoot?' James asked. 'Yes. I might have. But this time I want to do this huge. So they will not forget it. And so they will never say something like that again. I thought off changing the hole Slytherin dungeon into the Gryffindor common room. And by that I literally mean everything. The tables, the chairs, the bookcase, even the password.' After Sirius' speech it was quiet for a moment. 'That's brilliant Padfoot. But how are you going to do that.' I asked. 'That part I didn't found out yet. It's up to you and Peter to think of something. After all, I'm in detention, and James got Quidditch practice.' 'Great.. leave it to the wolf and the rat to find everything out.. Thank you, world biggest prat.' Sirius looked to me. 'You're welcome Moony.' 'By the way, what did you do to Malfoy when you heard it?' 'To be honest Prongs, I turned his hair pink..' 'HAHAHAHA.' The three of us roared with laughter after hearing that. 'And what did McGonagall said to you when she found out?' James somehow managed to ask Sirius, while he put his glasses back on his nose. 'Ooh, that. Between the steam from her ears I think she said something of another two weeks of detention.' Sirius said dryly. And again the Gryffindor common room was filled with laughter. 'What?! It's not funny guys!!'
The following two weeks the Marauders were very quiet. We were busy planning the Slytherin-movement. That's how we called it. It took all our free time. But that was worth it. We planned to do it on a Sunday evening. Very late in the evening..
That night we kept sitting in our chairs as the rest of the Gryffindors went to bed. When it was half past one in the evening Sirius spoke. 'James, have you got the cloak?' He asked. 'No, I left it upstairs, I'll get it.' 'Take the Map also, would ya.' James run away. A minute later he got back. 'Look I got everything. Let's go now.' 'Yes.' I said. We crawled with the four of us under the cloak, and climbed out of the common room. 'Who is there? I can't see you, but I know you are there somewhere.' The Fat Lady said half asleep. 'Let me see the map Prongs.' I asked him. 'We must go to the left.' 'Where are Filch and Mrs Norris?' Peter asked 'Filch is in his room. And Norris is outside the castle' I answered him a moment later. 'We must walk to the Library first. So we don't walk into Peeves' 'All right, let's do that.' James whispered. We walked about this way for about 40 minutes. Then we had finally gotten to the Slytherin portret. 'He Wormtail, what's the password' Sirius asked. 'It's full-blood.' 'How do you...?' I began before he spoke again. 'Heard Malfoy saying it.' And the portret swung open.
'Every time I get here I start to shiver.' Peter spoke. 'Quiet, you might wake them!' I whispered in his ear. 'Let's do it fast and get over with it.' 'Yeah, my idea.' So we started working. We started on the Girls rooms at first. We worked fast and quiet.. Still all together under the cloak. With our wands out. Peter got the map in his pocket. We changed everything. The bed, their clothes. Even their pillows.. When we were ready with the girl rooms we went to the boys. 'He let's put the boggart in Malfoy´s closet, than we can really laugh.' Sirius said half sneering. 'Good one Padfoot. Let's do that.' I whispered back in his ear. 'Who may have the honour?' Peter asked 'Moony off course, he's the one why we're doing this.' 'Well, what are you waiting for Moony, we haven't gotten all day.' James gave me the boggart we put in a bottle. I carefully set the bottle in Malloy's closet, and made sure that if he opened the door, the boggart came outside. 'This is going to be fun' Peter said with a huge smile across his face 'Come, we're ready with the boy rooms.' James said. 'OK. Now the biggest part, the common room.' It took us a compete hour to change the common room. We were thrilled with the result 'One thing left. The password.' I announced 'Yeah, what should be the new one' James asked 'That may Moony decide. What's it going to be Moony?' Sirius looked at me with those pale grey eyes again. 'I don't know yet... How about 'mobile phoon'?' 'Moony that's brilliant, noone will know that. Let's take that one.' 'Yeah, I agree Prongs.' And so it was.
It took us a quarter of an hour to change the password. After we had done that we were ready with our mission. We crawled under the cloak again, and walked our way back to our common room. When we were halfway back. 'I'm hungry, let's go to the kitchen first.' 'Yeah, good one Prongs, I'm hungry to.' Sirius reported to us. 'If we eat quick then we're back on time.' I was kind of hungry to. I always have a great apathy when the full moon comes along. 'Well, where are we waiting for then?' So we did. We walked to the kitchens.
'Chocolate frog.' James said when we got by the portret The house-elf's where glad to see us, and they made our favourite food. They even dropped food for later in our pockets.
An half hour later we decided to go back to our beds, we hadn't slept all day. So we were pretty tired. At least I was, I don't know about the others. We thanked the house-elf's, ('Oh no masters, it was our pleasure!!') and crawled under the cloak again. We were just out of the hallway before Sirius froze still. And I crashed onto his back. 'Shit, Norris.' He managed to say 'Keep still, then she won't spot us.' James whispered 'Mrs. Norris may not see us, but she may smell us or the food.' Peter said with a high voice 'If we turn around, and walk away silent, then she won't spot us.' And they did what I told them. Mrs. Norris followed us for the first ten metres, but then she just turned her back to us, and walked away.
'Moony, you're the best!!' Peter cheered as soon as we where out of her reach. I couldn't help but to smile, and I saw that Sirius started smiling to, although I don't know why. 'Let's take this stairway, then we cut off half of our way back' 'OK Prongs' I heard Peter say
And from that moment it all happened so quick. We were just walking down the stairs, when Peter stumbled over the invisibility cloak. He fell against me. And I tried to remain standing. But in my effort to keep standing I grabbed Sirius' arm... which I better hadn't done... The three of us fell down the stairs.......
And every time someone hit the stair there was a loud bang... It looked to me that we couldn't stop falling...
We fell off the stairs and on the ground. We finally stopped falling as we collapsed to the wall across from it. And that was the biggest bang I ever heard...
Once we lied down on the ground my head felt like shit, and my stomach felt upside down.. I heard James call us. 'Are you OK, you three just felt like hell?' 'Yeah really Prongs, I am OK. I just fell of that cursed stair, what do you think I am!!' I could hear the sarcasm in his voice 'Well, Sirius you seemed to enjoy the trip..' 'BLAST YOU WORMTAIL!! It's all your fault!!' 'Let me help you up, OK?' James asked the now very angry Sirius. 'Yeah, all right then.' He didn't thanked James for doing so. Peter was the next to stand up, I was still sitting on the ground. 'You look sick Moony.' When I opened my eyes, I saw a worried Padfoot sitting in front off my nose. 'I'm OK Padfoot, just a little bit tired of tonight. That's all.' 'Look.' James began 'If we don't go now, Filch will find us. And I don't know about you, but I don't want another detention with him ever again.' But just as he said that, we heard a voice above us....
'Well well well... look who it are.' It was the voice off the devil himself. 'Peeves don't, please don't.' Peter began. 'What shouldn't I do?' 'Please don't tell anybody that we're here.' James begged Peeves 'Ooh... the Quidditch champion is begging. But not near enough..' 'Peeves, please let us go.' I asked the ghost, while I stood up. 'Loony, Loopy, Lupin,' Peeves sang; 'Loony, Loopy, Lupin-' 'Shut up Peeves! You have no right to call Moony that!! You only bring trouble to us!!' 'STUDENTS.. STUDENTS OUT OF BED... HERE ARE STUDENTS OUT OF BED!!!!!' 'RUN!!' James yelled. And that was my signal to go. In a reflex I saw that James grabbed the invisibility cloak from the ground and we ran away. We ran down the hallway, and as it couldn't be any worse, we saw Filch coming at the end of the hallway running towards us. 'SHIT, TURN....' Sirius yelled. And so we all did. We ran under Peeves again and ran onto the stairs were we fell off... 'Hey Loony Loopy..' Peeves started again, but he couldn't sing any further because he was busy avoiding an apple Sirius threw. So from that moment we had two followers behind us. 'Not so fast please..' I heard Peter saying behind his puffs. 'Let's split up' 'I go with Moony, you take Wormtail and the invisibility cloak.' 'All right, see you in the common room.' 'See you soon.' I yelled to the others as soon as we came across an other door. 'Last one in the Gryffindor tower is an rotten egg!!' I hear Sirius yelling to the other ones. James and Peter went in the direction of the astronomy tower. Sirius and I ran back to the Slytherin dungeons.
'Shit. Filch is following us instead of Prongs and Wormtail..' Sirius said to me, while we began to run even faster. 'Let's go upstairs.. ' I suggested. 'All right.'
I don't know for how long we kept running. It seemed to me like ages. We ran straight past professor Binns with Filch on our tail.. 'Hey professor. Your test was an easy one!' Sirius yelled to the ghost as we ran past him. 'Well thank you, mister Black..' He yelled back to us. 'What the hell was that?' I asked him when we ran on an other stairway 'Ooh, I needed to say that anyway.' He answered with a smile. 'Your crazy, you know?' 'Why thank you dear Moony.' He said still sneering
'Doesn't that old man ever get tired' I asked while we kept running.. 'Neah, I think not.' Sirius said.
'I wish he stopped following us..' I said when we came across the D.A.D.A room. 'I know what you mean.' Sirius said between his breaths
'I'm getting tired off running..' I complained when we ran in an other hallway 'Where do you think James and Peter are?' 'I think that they are save and well sleeping in there beds by now.' I said again. 'Yeah, that's what I thought to.. They always have it easier, why does Filch always follow us?' 'Because you kicked Mrs. Norris remember..' I said to my confused friend. 'That was because that stupid cat walked in my way.' 'And because you wanted to kick her anyway' I said sneering. 'Maybe just a little bit.' He answered also sneering.
We sped up our running, and we made distance between us and Filch. If we just could find a hiding place, we were save.
To my relief I saw a door, and from experience with James I knew we where save in there.. 'Let's go in there, he won't look for us there.' I told Sirius 'All right then, if you say so.' And so we ran towards the door which I opened. First I walked through the door, followed by Sirius. 'So, we're save and well.' He turned to me, just after Sirius shut the door. 'What!! Are you kidding me!' He looked at me angry. 'We're in the girls toilet.' He said as I looked confused. 'Yeah, I know. But Filch won't look for us in here.' 'And what if a girl comes here, what do you say then ''we lost our way'' or something like that.' 'Ha-ha, no Padfoot. Girls don't come here. I promise.' He looked at me confused. 'How can you tell.' 'Padfoot, don't you know where we are?' 'No, should I.' 'Come on Padfoot, from all the people I know...' 'What..' he began to say, but before he managed to make his sentence there was an other voice.. 'Hello there. What are you doing there?' The voice came from above us. But I already know who it was, Sirius seemed rather misunderstanding..
'Did isn't ugly Myrtle's pee, is it?' He asked me in disbelief. 'Wheeeeeeeee..' 'Look what you did!' I said to him as Moaning Myrtle began to cry. 'What did I do this time?' He said angry looking to Myrtle.. 'I'm sorry for you hearing this Myrtle. Please forgive my stupid friend. He doesn't know any better.' I began. If She kept screaming and crying we would still be found... 'Ooh it's you Remus. Off course I will. Just because of you. Are you hiding again?' She asked me. 'Yes Myrtle, and if you don't mind we would like to stay here for a while.' 'Off course you can, but I don't know about him.' And with that she gave a wink to Sirius. 'He is my friend, he would like to stay here to.' I said and by that Sirius looked angry at me to. 'No, I would not like to stay here with this ugly ghost thank you.' He said. Making a mistake, a big mistake..
And then it happened again.. She start crying again... The door swang open, and we ducked away.. When I looked up, I saw Filch standing in the door opening. I could count all his yellow teeth, so huge was his smile. 'Well well well, it looks like I finally got you after all.' He said.. 'Follow me, and don't do anything stupid now, I got you anyway.' 'We know the way to professor McGonagall's office.' Sirius said rather rebellious. 'Haha. No, we aren't going to professor McGonagall. I better take you to professor Dumbledore, then I can make sure that you'll pack your suitcases this afternoon. Come on now, don't look sad, nobody is going to miss you.'
And so after an complete hour running, he still managed to get us. I was a bit scared, I didn't want to go home. I liked it here. And at home certainly not. We didn't say anything the rest of the way. I only heard Filches happy mumbling...
'You are in trouble now, you wish you hadn't done that. Well it's to late for that now...' 'Password?' asked one of the gargoyles 'Bertie Bott's Every Flavour Beans.' Filch said when we got to professor Dumbledore's office. The door opened, and the staircase emerged. 'Step in.' And we did what Filch told us to do. Just because we wanted to get over it. Soon as we stood on the stair, it began to move. I know where we went. Sirius seemed to know to. That staircase took us to another door. And just behind that door there was professor Dumbledore's office. 'Walk in, I'll just stay here..' That was the last I expecceted to hear from Filch. Sirius opened the door, and walked in. I followed him.
'Hello, that took you two long enough.' I heard a voice saying. I saw that professor Dumbledore was sitting in his chair behind his desk. He looked at us with an amused expression on his face. I also noticed that we weren't the only two students there. 'What are you two doing here?' Sirius asked in disbelieve to James and Peter. 'It seems that we have a little reuning here.' Professor Dumbledore said still smiling. 'Have a seat.' And with that he sketches two new chairs. Sirius and I sat down. 'I was just asking these two what they where doing tonight out off bed. Before the both of you entered. I suppose you can tell me more than what they did.' 'I don't know what they already said to you sir. So I don't know if I can tell you more then you already know.' Sirius began. 'You're a smart boy Mr Black. So far I am told that you just went to the kitchens to grab something to eat.' 'That's true professor.' I said a little bit smiling. If we could make professor Dumbledore believe that, then we might be able to stay here anyway. 'And Peeves can prove that.' Sirius whispered in my ear. 'Yes, it seemed to me that Peeves is a little bit upset about an flying apple.' And Sirius started blushing a bit. 'And why were you going to the kitchens?' 'Because I was hungry sir.' James said. 'And you woke up the other three, I suppose.' 'No sir, I couldn't sleep, Sirius was hungry to, and Remus well you know with his condition and all.' It was peter who saved us many times. He just made people believe him. He had his way with words. 'Yes, very well then. So you went to the kitchens and what happened then?' He asked us. I noticed that some of the people in the portrets were looking at us. I didn't feel comfortable by that. 'We asked if the house-elf's could make something for us, and after we ate we went to our beds again. That's all.' James said. 'Ah, and that's when you saw Filch and ran away.' Dumbledore said still smiling. 'And you didn't thought of telling him the truth, did you?' After that it was silent for a while. 'Let's talk about Peeves. What happened between him and the four of you?' 'He was calling us names sir.' James said 'So, he is after all a poltergeist, you should know better then that.' Dumbledore said coldly. 'So I threw an apple at him sir.' Sirius said as coldly as professor Dumbledore. Dumbledore looked at Sirius and Remus with an almost funny look on his face. 'What's wrong sir?' Sirius asked him after a while. 'Nothing Mr Black, just nothing.' I didn't like that answer, neither did Sirius. 'But why are you smiling like that at us?' Peter asked the professor. 'You reminded me off something I said earlier.' He said, still smiling silly. 'I'll contact McGonagall for this. By now you all know that it's not allowed to walk through the school at midnight.' 'But sir, I'm in detention already.' Sirius began 'Yes I know, she told me already.' 'But sir.' 'No Mr Black. Go back to your beds now.' 'All right then.' And so we stood up, and walked our way back to the Gryffindor common room. With Mrs Norris and Filch on our tail, just to make sure that we didn't get other plans I think. 'Knut' I said 'Finally, I began to worry about you all. I saw Peeves flying here.' The Fat Lady explained as we climbed in. We walked directly to our beds. Didn't say anything to each other. We changed in our nighties also quiet. After an hour, I still couldn't sleep. Peter was asleep, I could hear his snoring, but then I heard Sirius talking to James. 'How long where you in professor Dumbledore's office?' 'About half an hour I think.' 'Oh.' It was silent 'He didn't say anything then, just that we had to wait for you and Moony.' 'How did you got caught anyway?' 'We ran straight into Hagrid. And from there there is no running away.' Again it was quiet for a wile. 'What did professor Dumbledore mean?' I heard James ask Sirius. 'About what?' 'You know Padfoot, when he was looking to you and Moony?' 'I don't know, ask him instead of me.' Sirius said annoyed. Again there was a silence. 'Goodnight Prongs.' 'Yeah, you to Padfoot. And thanks for helping me earlier.'
The next morning we all woke up at the same time. We changed in our school robes and when we walked down stairs we were in heaven, that's how Peter always called it..
'There are our night walkers!!' Somebody said. 'Hey good one.' An other one said. 'Yeah, this time you did a record!!' It kept going on for a wile, until.. 'What do you think you were doing!!' And that was Evans. She was the only Gryffindor that didn't like our jokes very much. 'What did we do?' Sirius asked the red head. 'What do you think. Are you so stupid? Why don't you leave them alone?' She now was angry at him. 'Who do you mean?' Sirius asked her, although he did know what she meant. I could tell that. It's just the look on his face. He knows. 'I will, if you go out with me.' And there was James, always trying to get Evans out on a date. It was a common knowledge that James loved Evans. It was also a common knowledge that Evans hated James. 'Leave them alone, your not God.' And with that she turned around and climbed out of the room. 'Let's go.' I said. And we also climbed out of the room. 'You are accepted by professor Dumbledore's office. I looked up and saw Nearly Headless Nick.' 'What do you mean?' James asked the ghost. 'I just told you, go to professor Dumbledore's office. And by that I mean right away.' 'But why?' I asked. 'That he didn't say. He just asked me to get you.'
So there we went again. 'I think he finally got a punishment for us.' Peter said while we walked to professor Dumbledore. 'I hope it's not that bad. He doesn't know about our other thing.' Sirius said in return. 'I think that he did have a clue, to be honest' I told them, when I saw a Slytherin look very angry at us. Too angry even for his normal doing.
'Oh, you four again. Password' one of the gargoyles said 'Bertie Bott's Every Flavour Beans.' I looked Sirius in disbelieve, how did he know the password of professor Dumbledore's office.. 'What, I heard it Filch saying yesterday.' He said when he saw me. The four of us walked on the stair again, and we came again by the door. But this time the door was open, and professor McGonagall was there too, talking with professor Dumbledore. 'Sit down.' She said sharply to us. And we did. But before we could go on, the Bloody Baron came flying through the wall. 'Sir Dumbledore, I need to speak to you.' The gost said. 'About what?' He asked the ghost 'It seemed to me that there is a small problem with the Slytherin common room.' He said angry looking at us. I saw that Sirius and James were trying to suppress there laughter. Although it didn't work very good. That made me and Peter laugh to. 'What's the problem?' McGonagall asked us. 'Nothing professor. Don't mind us.' James said sneering and laughing at the same time. 'What do you mean?' professor Dumbledore asked the ghost another question. 'There hole room is changed into the Gryffindor common room sir. And there clothes are changed into muggle ones. And every one is locked outside because the password is changed to.' It took some time for professor McGonagall and professor Dumbledore to understand what the ghost just said. Now the four of us roared with laughter. We just couldn't stop ourselves. 'And I must believe that?' McGonagall asked the ghost in disbelieve. 'Yes professor McGonagall. It's true' 'Do you think I have time for jokes like that?' The now angry professor said. 'If it was a joke, but it isn't.' 'You mean all that is true?' 'Yes, that's what I've been saying the past few minutes.' And then it was quiet for a moment, well not quit quiet. We kept laughing very heard. Professor McGonagall made a chair on her own and sat down too. 'You may go now.' Professor Dumbledore finally spoke to the ghost. 'Yes sir.' He went, and moments after that we became a little bit ourselves again. Professor McGonagall still looked shocked. 'And? What do you have to say for yourselves?' Professor Dumbledore asked us. 'Well, nothing sir. We don't even know when it happened.' James managed to say. 'Last night I believe.' McGonagall seemed to be over her shock, and already made a decision about this all. 'I suppose that you four made the change in the Slytherin room.' She continued. 'No, Professor. We didn't. We just grabbed some food last night.' 'Do you think we believe that?' She said. 'I don't know professors, all I know is that we didn't do that. At least not last night. Or any night before. But I must say that it is a good idea for the next time.' That made professor Dumbledore laugh too. 'Do you have proof that you didn't do it?' professor McGonagall asked us disbelieving. 'But on the other hand, you have no proof that we did do it.' Sirius said being the smartass he was. 'Well, professor, it's like this. Last night Moony didn't feel very good. So that kept Sirius awake for a long time. He looked after Moony. James was Hungry, and wanted to eat something. And I can tell because I couldn't sleep from the sound from his stomach. It's a miracle Moony sometimes fell asleep. Although it didn't last very long.' Peter said. Both the professors were silent after hearing that. 'So that's our story professor.' Followed a moment later. 'Yes, very well then. I just assume that you're innocent this time. But I would recommend you not to do such thing, Mr Black and Mr Potter.' 'No sir.' James said. 'We won't sir. ' Sirius said following James. 'And about yesterday.' McGonagall began. 'The four of you have one week detention, that means you to Mr Black. I just keep counting. Starting today.' 'You may go now.' Professor Dumbledore said, still smiling at us. We stood up and walked away. At least that's what I tried to.. 'But that's not fair, We didn't do anything!!!..' Sirius said to both the professors. 'Keep dreaming Padfoot!!' I whispered to my friend who blocked my way..
Yes, it was a nice time then. They made my life look worthy. They were my only friends I ever had. My only friends who ever knew me the way I was. The only ones who made me believe I wasn't a monster.
At that time my heart felt warm, safe and beloved. But everything has an end. And so did my friendship. I only never thought it would end like this. Two of my friends dead, the other one still alive. Living in a rotten cell in Azkaban. Living with the knowledge of betraying his friends.
Now a days my heart stopped loving. I can only feel cold and emptiness in me. But I don't care. I don't want to feel love and friendship of something like that anymore.
I'm scared my heart will break again if I do. I'm scared for feeling a friendship, for being a friend. I'm scared I might be loving a murderer again.. I failed once being a friend, I will not fail again. Even if that means I can not feel it anymore. Even if that means I must give up everything I got.
What will they do if they find out that I'm a monster. That I can kill them every month. Will they become an animagus also. Will they change into an animal just for me. To make sure that I'm all right in the night, I can kill them easily. Will they ever do that? Just for me?
No, because nobody wants to be a friend with a werewolf. A monster. Even not the people I thought they were my friends. They didn't like me. They just liked to say that they had a werewolf as a friend.
Neither my love nor friendship lasted very long.
My brotherhood is indeed been broken..