Everlasting Battle For Live

Part III: After the nightfall

Written by: Kalinenaka

186 Magnolia Close

Driffield 34JP11

England, North Yorkshire.

Home. House. Maybe both. That's how I am supposed to call this place.

But it are just some words. Without a meaning. But if you wonder. Yes I had a home once. And a nice one to. But Sirius took it with him after he was sent to Azkaban. Just like he took the rest out my heart. Now it are just some walls. Closing in every breath I take. Locking the doors of my life. Capturing me, even it is him the one who's locked up. I'm the one who's suffering.

I find myself standing in the living room off my new house. A few days ago I ran away from my old house. And surprisingly enough I ran straight into professor Albus Dumbledore.

We talked about my situation. Or at least he did. I mostly listened. I said that it didn't matter what had happened. It's not about yesterday. It's about tomorrow.

'Then where will tomorrow take you then?' He asked me.

'To a place where I have no memories. To a place where pain doesn't exist. Where I can be alone. Away from my hole shit life.' I didn't attended to say that, but the words just came out.

We didn't said anything from that point on. I think this silence went on for nearly ten minutes. I think that he knows I was about to kill myself.

Dumbledore must had known that I made up my mind. But he still tried to change it as he spook again.

'A place without memories is a bad choice Lupin. I thought you knew better than that.

You will have no good memories either.' I looked up at him, but not meeting his eyes. Though I knew that they were angry looking, because that's what my eyes were.

'All my good memories turned into bad ones. I made up my choice. I'm leaving. That house, it torn my heart long enough right now. I will not go back!'

'Then what will you do about your stuff?' He asked me.

'Most things I leave behind to. Only the expensive ones, which I can't afford will go with me.'

'Then tell me. What have you in mind for Harry Potter?' I met his eyes. He got the nerve to ask me that. 'I tell you what I think off Harry.' I said standing up. Slamming my hands on his table. But in the mean time I angered myself for what I let happen to Harry.

'I will leave him behind to. He doesn't want to know me, and the other way around either.

He will be better off without me.'

I could tell that Dumbledore was shocked by hearing this. I could see it in his eyes.

'He Needs You. And the other way around most defiantly.'

'I will go now. I've got better things to do right now. If you still want to help you know were to find me. If you not want to, then don't bother trying.'

I turned around and walked away.

I don't know why I got so angry at him just by mentioning Harry. I didn't mean to scaring him the way I did. But I did had a reason for that.

One single reason.

Just for being who I am. A monster, loving the murderer who killed his parents. Yeah I can really see me introducing myself to him.

'Who I am? Oh, just a werewolf, how happened to be your parents friends, who also just happened to be in love with the murderer off your parents. Small world isn't it. How I am you ask? Still in love.'

Ya right. No he would be better off without me. And I would be better off without him.

He will just bring up memories I try to forget. Even though he would not even now it.

It's just that he looks so much like James did, and thinking off James, makes me think off Sirius. I can't bear that right now. I can't bear to be with Harry.

Maybe when he is older and when he looks different. I might be able to see him. But not now, not now when I feel so vulnerable.

It's a small house I'm going to life in. In the cellar there's my shed. Every full moon I am going to spent in there. It's made off some kind off stale, with makes it hard to brake down.

I only can unlock the door when I'm in human form. My paws aren't able to do that.

Further there's a small living room, which I'm still standing. A small bedroom. A small kitchen, a small study room and a small bathroom to. Not much, but it's big enough for me.

Just enough for one single person.

When I talked to Dumbledore a few days ago. We also talked about the shed.

He didn't liked it when I mentioning that. And he still doesn't.

He thought it was to dangerous. Not for my neighbours or other people though.

But it was for me. During the full moon, the wolf can and will damage me much.

It's possible that I can lay for days there on the cold ground. Just because I are not able to stand up. Which also means I can't heal myself. So I can bleed there to death. He told me.

Well to tell you the truth. I DON'T CARE MUCH ANYMORE, DO I!!

If I will die there, then nobody will miss me. And if I don't, well you know. Better luck next time.

All right maybe that did sound rude, but look at me.

What I am, what can I become, what can I mean to others. Nothing!!

I am a monster, in love at the murderer who killed 15 people, if not more.

In fact in the time that James and Lily were alive, they all suspected me. Just because I was a werewolf. Although they have never admitted it in my face. Sirius did that for them.

I can remember one particular night very good.

That night was one of the hardest. And it wasn't a full moon evening. I just had a row with Sirius.

I'm sitting in the darkness off the living room. In the old house off course. It's very late in the evening, and Sirius hasn't came home yet.

I didn't knew where he went. I wasn't aloud to know that he always told me. Although I made my one theory about it. I snapped out off my thoughts as I heard someone's muttering. Sirius must have came home.

Our house was protected my several spells. He unlocked the door and came into the living room. He didn't say anything to me, although he did noticed me sitting in the chair.

I felt so angry. He could have called me or something. He should have said something. He should say something right now but he didn't.

'Where have you bin?' I asked him trying to sound normal, probably failing though.

'It's late, I'm going to bed.' He said. Still not facing me. 'No you're not.' I inform him.

He looks to me. 'Where Sirius?' I ask him again. 'Goodnight.' He says, turning around, and walking away. I can hear him slamming the bedroom door close.

I waited for more then fifteen minutes before I went to. If Sirius really is as tired as he says so, then he wouldn't notice my presence. I open the bedroom door only to find his already asleep. Well not for long anymore. I made up a very good plan while he was away.

Tonight he is going to talk, even if he doesn't like it. One thing I learned from him is making your way everyone's way. Sirius may like a bed, but it will be a cold bed then. I mutter the spell, and turn around.

I'll be waiting for you Black. I say, as I close the door.

I Walked back to my chair where I'll wait for his presence. I waited the hole night, these last few minutes I can handle easily. It shouldn't take him that long. About five minutes at most.

In the mean time I make myself at home, grapping a bottle butterbeer and some food.

Bang. That was the bedroom door. He's awake. Only 7 seconds for him to come down. 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.

'WHAT THE HELL IS THAT ALL ABOUT!!' He yells to me. He's in. I could not help but to grin a lot. He had so much snow in his hair. I bed he even turned into Padfoot trying to get his sleep.

'Could not sleep well?' I ask him. Sounding very normal. He grumps to me. 'Don't make me come over.' He threatens me.

'Now you're awake me might as well have a little talk, don't you think?' And again I sound normal. I'm good in this. I should do this more often. I kind of like it. Seeing him so upset. While I have the upper hand.

'No.' He says. 'Yes Sirius, we will talk right now. Where have you bin?' I ask him again.

'Non off your business.' He answers me. 'No, wrong answer. Normal people give a good and proper answer if there supposed to answer a question. I've asked you one, so you're supposed to give me a good and proper answer.'

'Remus, Remus my dear friend. Why don't you turn off the snow, get back with your fucking nightlife, and leave me peacefully asleep and well in bed.' Now I must say he sounds both angry and sarcastic. I can do that to..

'Because Sirius, dear friend, I asked you a simple question. You're not having a secret I don't know about do you?' I ask him back. Right to the point.

'Well Remus, what would you do if I have?'

'I would ask you a question, and you would answer him.'

'If you really insist. If been at work all day.' Even in the dark I can see that he is lying.

I stand up and walk to him. I only stop when I am an inch from him away.

'No, you haven't. I checked on you Sirius. You weren't at work all day.' I whisper in his ear

'You really did it, didn't you?' He asks me back.

'Yes friend I've..' However I couldn't finish my sentence as he slapped my face with the back of his hand one quick motion.

I must say that although it wasn't the first time he hit me, every time it came as a surprise.

I place my hand on my left cheek, were Sirius hit me. I looked him in the eyes, shocked. He looked back, but he had a different look. Like someone who just saw a murder, and is determined to catch the murderer.

I took several steps back.

'I was fucking waiting for you here and you weren't there. You say you were in your office, but how can I believe you? You keep lying to me.' I yell to him.

'You should not have checked on me.' He yells back.

'If you didn't lie, I wouldn't check you.' I yell back. He took two steps to me, and I took two steps back.

'You want to knew were I was? well do you?' I never saw Sirius looking so angry and tired at the same time.

'I was by James and Lily. All the time I was with them. There moving again that's why.'

I was unable to say anything back at the moment. I just mutter some words I don't even understood.

'But.. Why.. I don't.. Understand.... But ... Why haven't they.... WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!!'

I couldn't help but to scream. I looked to Sirius for an answer. Then it hit me in the face.

'No no no, it can't be. It's not me. Why don't you believe me.'

I turned around and start shaking all over my body. Why didn't James and Lily suspected me? What's wrong with them? I would never betray them, I love them to much for that.

'Remus.. I'm sorry.' Sirius says to me.

'But.. Why.. It's not me..' As I walk to a chair I crash into few things.

'Remus..' But Sirius is unable to make his sentence complete as I sank to the ground. Unable to move. If I didn't went unconscious right then, I might have noticed that two arms caught me on the movement and broke my fall. They took me up, and carried me to the bed

'Hush Moony, It's going to be all right. No one will ever harm you while I am around. Do you remember the time when we met each other at the train to Hogwarts....'

I saw many memories of us that night. Eventually I slept peaceful in Sirius arms.

Un aware that it was Sirius who confronted me that night.

The next morning I was lying in my bed. I didn't remember how I gotten there. Must have gotten drunk some point yesterday. I confined myself that what happened yesterday only was a bad dream.

So I woke up rather peaceful. I looked around for Sirius, but he wasn't here. Strange, Sirius was never a morning type. I made a mental node to ask him about this.

I pulled on my clothes and walked to the kitchen. I was about to make my breakfast when I saw a note lying on the table. I looked at it. The letter was from Sirius, I remember his handwriting always.

My Dearest Remus,

You probable just woke up, only to find my part off our bed empty and untouched.

I don't know if you even bother to read this letter. But that didn't hold me back to write it.

I just hope that there is still a little place in your heart that remembered me as your lover, as your friend. And if that is, you might be reading this.

You are probably really confused by now. And you have no idea were this letter while take you. But I know you'll understand when I explain.

I knew that you loved me. And that I meant much to you. I only wish that I could say that this feeling went the other way around as well. I am sorry to say this Moony. But you must let me go. Don't go looking for me. Don't even think off me. Forgive me and forget me. Life your live. We will never see each other again. I am sorry that I felt in love with you.

You don't know how hard it is for me to leave you.

You will be in my thoughts ever.

Sirius Black

And again in twenty-four hours I collapsed to the ground again. But this time there were no arms who kept me for hitting the ground. 'He left..' was the last thing that I can remember before my head hit the ground heard, and start bleeding.

This all happened a month before Sirius betrayed James and Lily. I never saw him during that time. And I never heard anything from James, Lily or Peter from that point on.

It torn my heart. My only friends in my life killed by my ex-lover. And it still does.

I still am standing in the living room. Unpacking all my stuff.

'Damn it's already past 8 hours. I must go down now.' I muttered.

I left my stuff for what it's worth.

I walked to my fireplace. There I pushed three particular stones. Dumbledore and I are the only one who know which stones that are. As a part off the wall disappears an old and small stairway takes it's place. I stepped in, and immediately the stones take there place back in.

I walked down the staircase. It was already dusty, cold and dark.

Just like I wanted it. Just like the wolf hated it.

When I finally came down I opened another door. This one was made off one particular steal, with a lock off silver metallic. I opened, and walked through. Then I turned and closed the door again. This was the last time I was able to touch it.

I looked around in the room. There were no windows, no lights, no blankets, no warm and safe places. Half the room was behind stealen bars, you can compare it with a cell.

The other half, where I am standing right now was for changing my clothes.

I locked the door and I turned towards my cage. I took off my clothes so that I don't ripe them. I have trouble enough with finding a job, let alone money and new clothes.

When I finished that, I walked towards the other side off the bars.

Making sure that the wolf didn't escape I even locked this stealen door. The time came near.

Suddenly there was an intense pain running through my body.

The change began. My bones grew shorter. My fingers and nails turned into claws.

My head became flatter and longer. A new fur covered my skin.

I kept biting and scratching myself during the change.

After that moment off intense pain I became a werewolf. I howled to the moon.

Then I looked around. There was no light sorse, but that didn't matter. I could see very clearly in the night. But then I smelled something, something very frightening. Silver.

I growled to the door and jumped in the farest corner. Tail between my legs.

I had to escape from here, I wanted out and away from the silver. So I crept forwards, laying flat in my stomage. When I reached the bar, I started biting in them. First one, then two.

An half hour later I gave it up. The bars where unharmed, and my mouth was sore.

I stood up and walked back in the corner. There must be a way to get out off here. But not through the bars. I looked around once more. The only option left was through the wall.

And so I did. I started throwing myself to the wall. The first toss wasn't that painful, but how longer I through myself to the wall, how pain fuller it became.

I also give in this. Clearly the human inside did everything to harm me here.

Time to pay him back. There was no flesh where I could set my teeth in, accept from me.

Soon enough blood was covered my greasy fur. But that didn't stopped me. I just kept biting and scratching me again. Painful it was, but who was going to stop me now my pack was gone.

In a thought that crossed my mind I saw those pale grey eyes again. For a moment I stopped scratching myself. Those eyes told me to stop hurting myself and go playing with him.

He barked playfully and jumped on the couch. Then he barked again.

/Are you going to catch me or not?/ The black dog asked me.

I looked at him. /No./ I said, and I continued with biting myself.

A deer came out the shadows, and walked over to me. Then he lowered his head, and start teasing me with his antlers.

I looked at him. He looked back. Then I grapped his antlers, and started biting them.

The deer had no problems with that, it actually looked like he enjoyed it.

I started to push him backwards. Starting to play. But I got no movement in the deer, he simply stood still. Then he started pushing me backwards, I tried to resist, but I couldn't.

The dog barked again, and jumped over to me. He also grapped the deer antlers, and pushed them backwards. The deer couldn't hold both off us, and went backwards. A small sound came from above, but no one paid attention to it and continued pushing each others.

The small sound came more urgent. We stopped our playing and looked up.

The rat was trapped on the closet. He made the funny sounds, and looked scary.

Then he jumped on the deer, who freighted from that. The deer kicked with his back legs to the couch, which flew against the wall. And also cosset that the rat went flying across the room. Gracefully landed on ground, and run under an other cupboard.

I walked over towards the cupboard and grapped the rat under it with my mouth.

He sat under dust so I liked him clean. Although he didn't liked it one bit.

He started to protest by making high sounds again. I simply shut him up by liking him again. Then I grapped him in my mouth again, and turned towards the deer and the dog again.

But they were gone. I couldn't see them, but I still could smell them. They were near.

I barked again, asking where they were. And the rat kept peeping, still locked in my mouth.

/Come outside, it's fun here./ The dog answered my calls.

I walked over, and jumped on the couth. Then I saw how they got out.

The couth cost a hole in the wall.

I crept through the wall hole, and once outside I saw the deer and the dog again.

Apparently the dog had ceased the deer, which explained why he was covered with small branches and leafs

Probably the deer jumped over a bush, and the dog tried to follow. Which made him jump right into the bush.

I let go off the rat and looked around. I sniffed the air. Finally outside.

All does different scents. Centaurs, unicorns, spiders it made me feel a werewolf again.

I howled.

The rat run towards the deer, and climbed on him. The deer didn't liked it much but didn't through him off again.

But the dog came closer to me as I howled. I looked at him, and he lowered his head.

The first time I met him I made it clear that I was the alpha. He never looked me in the eyes.

Then he through his head up and howled with me.

A moment later the four off us were walking through the forest. Just sniffing around.

When we heard something walking in front off us. I immediately stopped with walking and tried to track the creature.

The dog did the same, and went more to the front.

The creature was bigger then me, and healthy to. Not that very old, but not young either.

Man, I just love the scents creatures leave behind. Everything is written in it.

And it was probably thirty meters away.

I walked towards the dog, and mentioned to him that he must come with me.

We slowly crept towards the creature. Making no sound at all.

With every step the scent off the hunted came stronger, and I came more intense.

Now we were probably twenty feet away, when the dog mentioned a new scent.

The second scent was smaller then us. And very young to.

Ten meters.

It was close now. We both could here the hunted breath heavily.

Nine meters.

We lay flat down on the ground off the forest.

Eight meters.

The both off crept under a bush, not wanted to be seen.

Seven meters.

As silently as we could we crept forwards. The rat and the deer stayed far behind.

Six meters.

Through the bushes we saw something whitish. I never saw it before.

Five meters.

The dog and I hold our breath in. It look like the creature smelled us to.

Four meters.

One off the creatures is getting nervous. Walking around and scrapping on the forest ground.

Three meters.

We're very close now. And we could see the hunted creatures very good.

Two meters.

The old unicorn is very nervous, she doesn't know where we are. And the new born foal doesn't know that we're laying just two meters behind him. I can see the goldish fur very good as he breath in the air.

One meters.

Time to jump.

I jumped out the bush. But the foal had very good reflects, and run away.

Both me and the dog ceased him. But the old unicorn came behind us. She jumped over us, and kicked with were back legs. We were just able to avoid her legs.

I growled at her. Because off her the foal could escape, running away.

The unicorn turned around and lifted her front legs. She tried to stamp me.

Then Padfoot growled at her, seeing me in such a position.

The unicorn turned around again, and run over to Padfoot.

She held her head down, trying to stab my pack mate.

Padfoot tried to run away, but the unicorn was faster.

That's when I jumped up, and started to outrun the unicorn.

Although the unicorn could outrun Padfoot, Padfoot changed his directions often. Because he was lighter in weight then the unicorn he managed not to get stabbed for a while.

But the dog got too brave at a time, and made a mistake. He jumped left from the unicorn, and got two back legs right in his left side.

Which made him flying against a tree.

Now I was very angry at the unicorn. I bit the unicorn in his tail and with my weight, I could pull her down a bit. So far that she couldn't kick anymore.

Then the unicorn let a high braes, and a moment later an even bigger unicorn jumped out off the bushes.

I let go off the unicorn, and run towards Padfoot. There I turned around and growled to the two unicorns.

Both now were scrapping there hoofs at the ground, and waved with there horns.

At that time the deer galloped towards us. And stopped standing above Padfoot.

He to scrapped on the forest ground with his hoofs.

And the rat, as brave as he was, ducked under Padfoot for protection.

Who attacked first I don't know. But the deer and I were fighting the unicorns.

The deer made a pretty good fight. With his antlers and strength he was almost as strong as the unicorn. But me, that was a different story. A werewolf is no match for an unicorn.

But I couldn't let them go with this.

Once again I managed to grab the unicorn with her tail. This time I pulled roughly.

Which made her slip, and fall down. But somehow when I saw this, I didn't take advantage from it. I just let her go. Unable to stop myself for doing so.

Then another high braes was heard, and both off the unicorns turned around and run away.

I barked angry at them for hurting Padfoot.

Behind me Padfoot tried to stand up. He managed it a little bit. The rat peeped at him, for giving him no protection. The fight was over. Nobody won.

A while later we were again walking through the forest. At least the deer, the rat and me were. Padfoot was walking limp, and slowly. But that didn't hold him back for being a strange and happy dog.

Every change he got, to start a hunt again.

So now and there when a owl flew light he tried to grab them.

One owl he even managed to bit the feathers off his tail. Now he had all feathers in his mouth, and looked very pleased with it.

The three off us laughed at loud looking at the expression on Padfoot's half smiling face.

Then we stopped out tracks again. Every happy fought disappeared.

The unicorns we had fought before, when now fighting a pack off three werewolves.

With the little unicorns in the middle of the fight.

The other two were tired, from the battles before.

I couldn't let them get the unicorns. I battled them before, and I shouldn't have. They are noble and caring. So with a load growl I let the other werewolf know that they weren't welcome here. The deer to stepped next to me. Scrapping the ground, and waving with his antlers.

The werewolves didn't give it a second fought. They turned around, and just walked away. How we managed to get that I still don't know. I think it was that we outnumbered them now.

The unicorns didn't know what to think even. I looked at them.

Then I looked at the deer and told him that we are going back to our pack. We left the unicorns for that. When I saw Padfoot then he was completely healed.

I turned around, but the unicorns were gone. But I could swear that they did this.

All those memories made me even more angry then I already was. It was bad enough that my pack brothers left me. But why had they come back to molish me in my thoughts.

For the first time in my life I ignored the black dog.

I started biting myself again. Half off the night was gone, but there was still enough time left to do some serious damage.

Now most off my grey fur was covered with my red blood. Everywhere I could harm myself with I did. At a point biting myself was no longer painful enough. I started throwing myself against the wall again. This new pain pleased me. With my open wounds it hurt much more.

Blood dripped off my body, and I couldn't see very clear anymore.

But that didn't stopped me.

With this now found pain I hurt myself worse. A rib broke when I through my body against the bars.

Then a better way popped in my mind.

I could do myself really bad damage with the silver..

I rubbed my body against the silver. I bit it, and I scratched it. And with every contact I made with the silver my body hurt afoul. Breathing became very heard. Most off my senses were down. And I lost many blood tonight. And the human inside me didn't fight it. He wanted it.

The night was almost over but I continued my torture. Until the moment that an intense pain came back. My bones became longer. My claws changed back into fingers and nails. My head became shorter and thicker, and at last my skin came back. I couldn't bite myself anymore. I couldn't even move.

I became a human once more.

I laid there in the cellar. On the cold ground unable to move.

I breathed heavily. But with every breath I took the broken rib almost cut my longs.

With one hand I tried to cover op the worst wound, that run over my chest. Because I had no blankets I just laid my hand on it.

A thought crossed my mind. Is it worthy? All this pain? This suffering?

I opened my eyes slowly and looked at the cellar.

No it isn't worthy. And I could end it now. No more pain, now more suffering.

All my life I carried this. If I just could remember how it started.

Wasn't I at home then? With my twin brother?

No it wasn't, but he did this to me. He and my parents.

Since the day that my brother Romulus and I were born we always fought each other.

Most off the times Romulus won, just because he was a bit longer and stronger than me.

But I was the faster one. If space was given to me then I could easily escape my brother beatings. If it was given to me.

But if it doesn't then I had something coming.

Mostly I tried to ran away then. Up the stairs, off the stairs, and up the stairs, and off the stairs again. Or I ran to my mother. Mostly she would protect me, and punish my brother for doing so. But if she wasn't home, and that was a lot, then I stood there all alone for.

Yes indeed, I could run to my father. And then. He just would let my brother continue his hunting, if I was lucky.

If not, he made sure that I tripped or something. Then my brother jumped on me, and start punishing me in front off my father who did nothing but to watch us 'play'.

That's what he said to my mum when she asked how I got all those wounds on my face.

And if Romulus knocked off something then my father always blamed me for doing so.

But it all start with a bang, and it all ends with a bang. So in my life.

On a night in July when I was 7 years old.

It was about four o'clock when Romulus and I went home from school.

We always walked our way back. Although it was a walk five kilometres, we walked.

This was the only time Romulus and I got along with each other.

During the walk we talked to each other. Sometimes we talked about our parents.

Romulus and I noticed a while ago that I was different then Romulus and our father.

Once when Romulus didn't let me watch the television I got so angry at him that I expediently set the curtains on fire.

We're both scared at the moment that our father walked inside. Although Romulus sometimes liked him, he wasn't stupid either.

That week we both avoided our father. To the disliking from our mother.

She never told us. But sometimes when you're a young kid you can see thighs grown up people can't. And we saw this both.

My mother always played the mother hen she really was. The concerned one. If you like the rots in the bay when you're walking on a deserted beach.

But like I said. I could see her face through her mask. And so could Romulus.

And only during the walks we liked each other. Maybe because we were twins, I don't know.

This was the only time off the day that we listened to each other. We normally didn't talked about the pranks we pulled on each, but about our life. This was how brothers should get along.

So on this day we walked out way back to home to.

'You know, I really like it that our parents go away for a weekend.' Romulus said.

'Yeah, me to. I wonder what dad will say if we burn the house down.' I said half joking.

'Probably he's going to scream again, and then you just have to remind him about bubbles again.'

We both laughed aloud remembering that one. Last week our dad screamed at us for knocking something over that we didn't do. But I got so angry at him that I expediently let him grow bubbles out of his mouth. Every time he opened it bubbles came floating outside. It went on hole night long. That was why out mother took our father on a holiday for a weekend.

'He, do you think they are already gone yet?' I asked my only five minutes older brother.

'I don't know. Let's check it out. Last one home is a rotten egg!!' and we were both off.

We ran the last kilometre back to home. I won this game.

'HA, don't mess with the big guys brother.' I told him when he finally showed up.

'You wish little one. You just took a short cut.' He shot back.

'Besides I have the key.' We walked inside and called for our father and mother.

No answer..

'Looks like there gone.' And we both smiled.

'Wanna eat?' I asked my brother who turned on the radio.

'Yeah sure.' He turned the radio player on his maximum volume.

'What do you want?' I asked him.

'What?' He asked.

'WHAT?' I yelled him back..

'WHAT?' He yelled.

'EAT!' I yelled.

'WHAT?' he yelled back again.

'fish and chips' I muttered more to myself then to him.

'WHAT?' he yelled to me again.

I turned around, and walked into the kitchen. Not finishing our conversation.

There I grapped the deep-frying pan and put in on the table.

A moment later Romulus came walking into the kitchen. There he sat down and looked at me.

'Do you know how to cook?' He asked.

I turned around, and faced him.

'I fought you did.' I informed my brother.

'No, what makes you think that?'

'What?? You don't know?'

'We'll just have to try it.' He said. 'It can't be that heard, now can it.'

After about an hour thinking, waiting and talking we finally were able to eat burned fish and chips.

'Bread?' I asked, looking to my plate filled with the burned food.

'Yeah.' He said back, throwing it in a bin.

After we ate, we cleaned everything up. And decided to watch a movie, but just then when I wanted to grape a tape, the front door sprung open.

Our dad came rushing inside. Screaming something about freaks, knocking almost everything in his path over. Both Romulus and I stepped back aside.

'You.' Our dad said, pointing at Romulus.

'Go and pack.' He said very clearly.

I didn't know what to do. Nor how to react. Apparently Romulus didn't know either, because he didn't move.

'GO AND PACK BOY!' Our dad screamed, grapping him by his left arm, and throwing him towards the door.

I could hear Romulus hurrying upstairs, just then my fathers slapped the door close.

'And you.' He continued. I was unable to move, so paralysed with fear I was.

'You, you... you.' He kept repeating himself.

'You are a very nothy boy. I looked after you, took care for you. And this is how your paying me back.' He strode slowly towards me.

My father kept muttering something, I didn't heard it anymore. Never in my life I saw someone look so angry.

'Where is mum?' I asked him when he was already to close.

'You are a freak, just like your mother.' Then he stepped even closer, and slapped me right in the face.

I fell down really heard, my nose started to bleed. I crawl behind the couch, where my father was to big to come.

Apparently he didn't think so, and tried to crawl after me.

That's when I jumped up and run away. I jerked the door open, crossed the hall. Now I could here my father come to.

Again I jerked the door open, and run outside into the darkness.

I climbed over the fence, and run away from home. After about hundred meters I stopped running, and turned around.

Romulus and dad came walking outside, carrying a few bags. Both stepped in the car.

Dad looked angry, but Romulus very sad and horryfithed. He held his head down, and stepped without complaining inside the car.

I jumped behind a bush, just to see them leaving.

The car started and drove away. The car drove past me, and then I crawled out off the bush again, and looked as the car drove away.

Romulus turned his head, and looked at me back.

We kept looking to each as far as we could, I'll never forget his face.

So filled with fear, agony, loneliness', and death.

When the car was gone I turned around and strode into the near forest.

I never wanted to go back to my house, now my brother was gone.

I was tired and I didn't know were I went. I just kept walking, sometimes even running if my legs would carry me. For the first time I turned away from the past..

I didn't noticed where I was going until I heard a load howl.

I turned around. A wolf, he was here.

Again I began to run, but the howl didn't stop. Infact it even sound like it got closer.

I stopped my tracks, and looked behind me.

Nothing.

With a little relief I started running again. I just was fifty meters on the run again for that a huge animal jumped ten meters in front off me.

It faced me, looked directly into my eyes. It growled again, then it took a step forwards.

I turned as fast as I could around, and tried to run away.

But then I felt something hit me from in the back, and we both felt on the forest ground.

The wolf kept growling, and I stood up again. I turned around and run again.

I run as fast as I could. But I didn't hear him coming after me.

I stopped running, and looked back. The wolf was gone.

Not knowing were to go I just turned around once more.

There I stood, frozen and scared. Looking death in the eye.

The wolf stood just a meter from me, and looked directly into my eyes.

Now I noticed that it wasn't a regular wolf I ever saw on the television.

His nose was different, just like his eyes. They looked almost human.

I took a few steps back, but I tripped from the fear.

The wolf came near, growling as he did so.

I crept away, and the wolf just walked with me, baring it's teeth to me.

I crept against a tree.

Now the wolf licked his lips. We both knew that there was no way out for me.

He closed the distance. His breath was on my face. Still looking me in the eyes.

He placed his front paws on my chest, he lowered his face.

I could feel the cold nose against my cheek then he bit down hard in my neck.

His teeth broke my skin, and blood drooled out. He licked it up,

Then he bit down again, and he scratched with his paws my chest.

Soon blood covert most off my body, as I passed out on the forest ground. Not knowing that what happened next.

I closed my eyes in the cold cellar were I still laid down. Now I new how it started.

And now I new how it must end. In here, the cellar lying on the cold ground. Covered with blood and wounds. I slimed to myself. After all this time I was finally able to do it.

And people will just blame the wolf, not me.

But then I heard a song. A soft song, and I tried to open my eyes again, but I couldn't.

The song came closer, and stronger.

I heard it sometimes before. Fawkes. Bloody bird.

I heard a soft plop, and the Phoenix stepped beside me. He dropped a few tears on the worst couple wounds. Then someone placed a soft blanked offer me.

The old man hold on to me, as he took the port key out once more.

I didn't felt a thing off the trip. As I passed out.

The old man placed me in a soft bed, and called for Madame Pomfrey. A short moment later the woman too stood next to my bed, trying to heal the wounds.

'How bad is he Poppy?'

I heard a soft voice, speaking in a great distance. I knew that voice, but I don't remember were it came from.

Apparently they were talking about someone.

'He's bad. It's probably the worst transformation ever since he entered Hogwarts.'

An other voice said. This one was a bit closer. And also this on I remembered from something, although I don't know it either.

'Look. He's waking up.' The second voice spook after a while.

I blinked with my eyes a few times.

Then I opened them slowly. I saw a goldish thing hanging above my head. Also I didn't remembered that.

As my side came more clearly I saw that a old man was directly looking in my eyes.

How could I forget that annoying man..

'Dumbledore.' I tried to say, but only a soft whisper came out off my mouth.
Apparently he did heard what I said to him as he silent me with a finger.

'Don't speak, you're still to weak.' He said to me.

An wave off anger spilled over me.

'No, not.' I tried to speak again. And again only a whisper came outside.

Dumbledore looked me disbelieving in the eyes.

To prove that he was wrong I tried to lift my arm.

'Oh no you don't.' The second voice said.

I looked around. Madame Pomfrey stood at the left off my bed, with a cup in her hand.

'Drink this.' She said, moving the cup to my mouth.

'It will help against the pain, and make you sleep much better.' She explained as I drank it.

The room blurted out off my eyes, and a worm wave wormed my body. Again I fell asleep.

After what looked like days sleeping I opened my eyes once more.

This time I immediately fell much better, and much happier.

I turned to the right, and saw the old man sitting in a chear.

'Hello.' He said to me.

'Nice to see that you have finally waken up. I believe you slept for more then a day.'

He explanted to me ad I said up.

'Hoho take it easy.' He placed a blanked behind my bag, so that I rested against the headboard.

'Hogwarts.' I said.

'Yes, it is indeed. I figured out that the hospital was to far away.'

'Why did you came?' I asked him after a short silence. I looked to the blankets

Dumbledore didn't answered immediately.

'You almost killed yourself out there...'

'..And I couldn't bare it to lose you.' He said, as if this comment should change my foughts.

'It's all about you.' I muttered.

'No, it's about yours and Harry's live to.' He said then standing up.

'Then it's only for Harry then.' I said rebellious.

'A part is, yes. He wants to know you. You knew his father best, you owe him this.'

'Leave Harry out off my life. I don't want to know him.' I said finally looking up.

Madame Pomfrey came to us as she heard the commotion I made.

'I would appreciate if you didn't yelled mister Lupin. By now you should know the rules.'

She said standing at the left side again.

'I'm not a student anymore.' Again that rebellious voice off mine.

'And he started.' With that I pointed at Dumbledore. 'He talked first about the boy.'

'Let's leave Harry for what he is, shall we?' The woman said, now looking slight angry at the professor.

'I brought you some clothes from your home.' The headmaster spoke again.

'If you feel well enough you cane leave.' The healster said.

'Thank you.'

After three hours I was standing in my living room once more.

Some packing was left, but first I went towards my fireplace again. I pushed the three stones again.

Walking downwards I hold my breath. Was it really as bad as they all said.

I came across the door, which I opened too.

With my hand on the handle I moved the door. I looked inside

Blood, it was every were. Even in the part were the wolf wasn't supposed to come.

I looked to the ground. Even my clothes witch I left yesterday evening there were covered with blood marks.

I walked inside the cage. Here was far more blood, and at some places even my grey fur.

Then I turned my attention to the silver lock. It was covert with blood and bit marks.

Then my heart turned cold and angry, and I run up the stairs once more. Storming inside the living room I slammed my fists to the wall opposite.

Hate, anger, coldness, loneliness, and pain closed in my heart as I knew that I failed once more to end it. I was so close this time. So close, and yet I'm still here.

'NO.' I yelled, again slapping with my fists. 'I MUST DIE.' I screamed as I sank to the ground, still slamming to the wall. But I didn't know that there was a bird in this room too...

29

Everlasting Battle For Live

Part III: After the nightfall