Within

By: eScapefreak

Kathryn's sleep is interrupted by thoughts of Chakotay leaving her restless for a meeting at Star Fleet Headquarters...

This is a Kathryn and Chakotay fic, beginning about six months after Voyager's return to the Alpha quadrant. Once I started writing the story grew exponentially and even ended up having chapters, such an achievement for me! It may help when reading this story to have seen the sixth season episode 'Fair Haven' but it is not strictly necessary to enjoy the story.

N.B. In this story I am assuming that both Neelix and Seven stayed behind in the Delta Quadrant. This just prevents any further complications in the Seven/Chakotay/Kathryn triangle. I can't remember if Naomi Wildman's father was killed on Voyager or left behind on Earth so I went with the latter. I don't know what happens for sure anyway because I am still watching series seven and so have not seen it yet!

Rating: G

This is my fifth published fan fiction, but my first attempt at any Star Trek. All reviews are most welcome.

For: allie34 and neela who both write of Kathryn's love of coffee and Coral whose writing makes me laugh. Thanks for the great stories.

Disclaimer: I own heaps of Star Trek stuff but have no ownership over Voyager's intellectual property. Except for the things in my head I have no control over the characters or the show whatsoever. If I had, this story would not be necessary; they would have been together already! Star Trek: Voyager and its characters were created and controlled by others...

Within

Chapter One: Past.

Admiral Kathryn Janeway walked into Conference Room 1 at Star Fleet Headquarters and tossed her padds on the large table. She immediately made her way over to the room's replicator, "Hot coffee, black," she asked it in a weary voice. Later when the meeting began a real pot of coffee would be provided, but for now this would have to suffice. As she took her first invigorating sip she looked over to the pile of padds she had left on the table and sighed. Her sleep the night before had been less than restful. Her thoughts continually straying to the one subject she did not want to think about. Resignedly she pulled herself together. She had a lot of reading to do before the meeting began.

As the effects of the coffee became noticeable Kathryn, slightly more awake walked over and took her seat at the head of the table and began reading through the padds in front of her. Half an hour later she frowned down at the padd in her hand. The situation was much worse than she had previously thought. Many of the Federation's colonies had sub-standard medical facilities and due to the effects of the now over Dominion War essential supplies and basic technology had not been getting through. Today's meeting was to devise a new plan of attack. To supply these colonies with the medicines and technology that was needed to get them up to the usual efficient Federation standard.

Kathryn smiled to herself. The Doctor would love his new posting as Inter-Colony Chief Medical Officer and on their last view screen hook-up the Doctor had not been able to stop talking about his new position and the many plans he had for improvement of procedures and supply transport schedules. As always when embarking on a new project the Doctor had enthusiasm in abounds.

The last six months had been an interesting time for the Voyager crew. Adjusting to life back in the Alpha Quadrant had offered many challenges. The Doctor in particular had faced many confrontations, including the fight with Star Fleet Command to prove his usefulness here in the Alpha Quadrant and stop the permanent de-activation of his program. But when papers about the many medical and holographic related advances the Doctor had made in the Delta Quadrant were published the Federation was swayed to see what an asset the Doctor would be to them. Finally just last month he was given the new post and a much-deserved promotion.

Draining the last of her coffee from the cup Kathryn smiled to herself as she thought of the other members of what she still considered her crew. Tom and B'Elanna were ecstatically happy with their now six-month-old baby daughter Miral and were both working for Star Fleet. With his experience in the design of the Delta Flyer and what he had learned of Borg technology from Seven, Tom was working in ship design, while still going on the occasional mission as a pilot. B'Elanna, believe it or not, was teaching Engineering at Star Fleet Academy. The ex-Marquis was valued very highly among her new academic colleagues for her vast experience and quick mind. Her students loved her as a good humoured (well most of the time) but stern taskmaster who was always willing to help her students. In their last conversation B'Elanna had told Kathryn that Tom and herself were in talks with Star Fleet to begin work on creating the Federation's first trans-warp drive. Kathryn too was excited by the subject, even if she was somewhat jealous of Tom and B'Elanna's involvement in the project. As she stood up to refill her coffee cup Kathryn admitted to herself that was not the only element of Tom and B'Elanna's life that she was envious of, she too would have liked to have been in a loving relationship, to have children...

Returning to the table with her once again replenished cup Kathryn stifled the yawn that was threatening to overtake her. Determined not to dwell on the reason for her sleepless night Kathryn turned her thoughts to another member of her crew. Captain's Assistant Naomi Wildman had settled into life back on Earth better than anyone had ever expected, especially when you considered that she had been born on Voyager. Naomi was top of her class at school and was enjoying very much the time in getting to know her father. She had even hinted to Kathryn that she thought her mother and father may be thinking of having another baby after spending so many years apart. Kathryn was happy for Ensign Samantha Wildman. Sam had gone through a hard time with the birth of her daughter away from her husband in the Delta Quadrant. She deserved all the happiness she could get Kathryn thought to herself with a smile. Naomi had though admitted to Kathryn that she missed Seven and Neelix, they had been her closest friends and she was finding it hard to adjust to life without them.

'Seven and Neelix, the ones we left behind,' Kathryn mused to herself. She too missed these people who had become such an integral part of their daily lives out in the Delta Quadrant. Neelix always near with a gentle word, a kind ear or a pot of coffee in times of stress. The Moral Officer and unofficial Ambassador had been instrumental in the crew's mission to get home. 'Though if I never eat Leola Root Stew again it will be too soon', Kathryn thought wryly. And Seven the Borg Drone who had regained her humanity. In her struggle to become human again Seven had taught them all about their own humanity. Helping Seven learn and grow as a person was one of the biggest achievements in Kathryn's life, she was so proud of what the Borg had become. Part of this was letting Seven go, to find her own life away from the influence of Voyager's crew. Seven's contribution to Voyager's early arrival back in the Alpha Quadrant was so huge that even if she was here with them today Kathryn could never thank her enough for the number of times she had saved them from certain death or brought them closer to home. They would all be in Seven's debt forever. Kathryn just hoped that Seven realised how much the rest of the crew, especially herself loved and admired her.

'Harry Kim,' thought Kathryn. The always unlucky in love Ensign had met his match on the day after he had returned to Earth and after a beautiful wedding just a week ago was now on a month long honeymoon on Reisa with his new bride. On his return Harry now a Lieutenant would take up his post on the new starship Tranquillity, which was based at Star Fleet Headquarters here in San Francisco. She thought back to the young Ensign on his first posting on Voyager. He had been so keen, inexperienced and slightly naïve, but had proved himself many times over the years as a competent bridge officer. Kathryn's smile returned as she thought 'Great things will come from Harry Kim, mark my words'.

"Speaking of great things" Kathryn murmured as she took another sip of the now lukewarm coffee. Among the padds scattered on the table was a letter from Tuvok on Vulcan. Her dear friend wrote often and was enjoying his life back on Vulcan with his wife and the continuation of his Star Fleet duties. Well as much as a Vulcan could 'enjoy' life. As Voyager's Security Officer Tuvok had to do almost as much paperwork on return to the Alpha Quadrant as her Captain, but Tuvok was now settling in to his new position as Captain of the Vulcan ship appropriately named Logic. He was appreciating the new challenge and wrote that he found his new role 'stimulating'. 'Live long and prosper', Kathryn thought smiling as she took a moment to think of her remaining crew, both here and gone, Kes, Ayala, Vorek, the Delaney twins, Carey, Chell, Icheb... every member of her crew had a special place in her heart...

'Ah, Chakotay... always Chakotay', her First Officer, her confidante, her friend, her...

"No time to dwell on the past, time to get back to work". Kathryn spoke forcefully to herself as if a stern lecture would make her forget the indecision that had given her such a sleepless night. All of her thoughts had been on Chakotay and why she had let him go, what they could have had together. She now realised that she had loved him all along. Why had she let him leave? Why hadn't she gone after him? Even now why was she still sitting here when Chakotay could fulfil all of her dreams... friend, lover, family.

"No"! Kathryn said to herself, "Now is not the time". With that she cast all thoughts of her love out of her mind and picked up the last padd from her pile. 'Just time to read this one last statistical report before the meeting begins', Kathryn thought once again all business and decorum, the essence of the Star Fleet Captain and now Admiral the role she had played for more than seven years. Soon the catering staff would bring in the coffee, tea and breakfast Danishes for the 0900hrs start of the meeting.

The End of Chapter One – Past.

A/N: Stay tuned for Within Chapter Two – So Simple where Kathryn gets an unexpected visitor, hopefully coming soon. All comments most welcome.

Remember to keep reaching for the stars.

eScapefreak.