Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
Author's Note: I wrote this about two years ago during a very long rehearsal for my school's production of The Wizard of Oz. It's got no plot, and it's horribly written, but I still prefer it to JKR's OOTP.
Harry Potter walked into a place. The place was a room. It was really dark and stuff. Suddenly, Harry heard a noise. It smelled like phoenix droppings. The room did, not the noise.
Suddenly, the room was no longer dark. Harry saw that there were fifteen phoenixes sitting on perches. These phoenixes were unusual in that they had numbers on their wings.
"PUT US IN ORDER!" they shrieked, rising into the air and flying crazily around, crashing into things like thestrals after too much alcohol.
"The Order of the Phoenix!" Harry cried. "I get it!" He looked around the room and pointed to the first perch. "Phoenix one!" he shouted.
The phoenix whose wings were painted with the number one flew over and sat on the perch that Harry had indicated.
"Phoenix two!" Harry shouted, pointing to the second perch. The second phoenix swooped down and landed.
Harry pointed to the third perch. "Phoenix…wait, I know this…um…six?"
"You suck!" shrieked the phoenixes. "Get out of our room!"
Harry felt the floor disintegrate beneath him, and he plunged a thousand feet to his untimely death.