A/N: Whew! Here is chapter three! You will all notice many similarities between this and Order of the Phoenix which is, of course, intentional... mostly. As I'm sure you've noticed I tend to blend J.K. Rowling's ideas with my own. (Insert disclaimer here; the characters I create are mine.) I do want to say that there's a little scene with Tonks at the end of the chapter that is very similar to the book but was unintentionally made so. I didn't realize how much it was like the book until I opened it up to check something and ran across it. Oh, well – I'm leaving it as is for the moment. I'll probably change some details later; that's all I think I'll need to do.
I hope I'm not in the doghouse with too many readers; I seem to have lost some of my more faithful reviewers.
athenakitty: A wand holster? Heh – that's actually a pretty fun idea. :-)
procrastinator: You know, getting it all planned out is a lot harder than I thought it would be!
InfiniteThinking: Wow, I think it's great that someone actually checked out the changes! Here's your next chapter, and thanks for the review!
capncrunchnotthecereal: Will this chapter be really good or not any good? I guess that's up to you. I'm really glad you're still with me!
Jemma Blackwell: Aw, another great reviewer who's still around! And I completely agree – keeping Harry in the dark is what made him surly in Phoenix in the first place.
Rob: I hope this was quick enough for you, and good luck with the exams!
padfootfe: Thank you so much! I hope you enjoy!
Chapter 3: A Happy Boyhood Home
Harry, Ron, and Hermione sat down on the old wooden staircase in defeat. Fred leaned forward and put his ear against the crack between the doors to the drawing room. "Nothing," he said unhappily. "They've put up a Silencing Charm."
"Try this," said George, pulling a long piece of flesh-colored string from his pocket.
"I don't think it'll work, but…" said Fred, putting one end of the string in his ear and the other up against the space between the bottom of the door and the floorboards. "No – there's nothing," he said, pocketing the string.
"I see the need for a second version of this product," said George.
"What is that thing?" said Hermione.
"Extendable Ears," said Fred. "A recent invention of ours."
"You've invented something that works?" she said, perking up a bit.
"It didn't work," Ron said smugly. "They couldn't hear anything."
"Oh, they work," said Fred. "They let you stand in one room and hear a conversation in another. It's like leaving your ear behind, you see. They just can't hear through any of those annoying spells that block sound." He gave the closed doors a black glare.
"So they're made for eavesdropping," said Harry.
George winked at him. "Brilliant, Holmes."
Ron shook his head with an expression of wonder. "You're really serious about this, aren't you?" he said.
"About the joke shop? Of course we're serious," said George. "We've been scouting for locations in Diagon Alley. We've actually found one we think will work; it's near Eyelops Owl Emporium. I expect we'll be snapping it up soon enough."
Harry, Ron, and Hermione all made exclamations of excitement. Harry was especially happy; he considered this an especially good use of his Triwizard Tournament winnings. "Wow," said Ron. "My brothers, the entrepreneurs."
"Don't tell Mum," Fred added. "We're going to spring the news on her when it's too late for her to do anything about it. Maybe by then she'll have warmed up to the idea."
"Fat chance," Ron muttered.
"I hope you don't find this question too rude," said Hermione, "but where did you get the money for this? I don't think property in Diagon Alley is cheap."
"We have an investor," said George.
Harry frowned slightly. Investor? He had meant the thousand Galleons for a gift. He knew a little bit about investing from being forced to listen to Uncle Vernon dominate the dinner conversation for fifteen years; investors put money into a company expecting it to make a profit. Then the company paid their investors a portion of their earnings. Dividends, wasn't it? thought Harry. In any case, the Triwizard Tournament prize was blood money as far as he was concerned. His parents had certainly left him enough to get started in life, so he wasn't at all tempted to keep even one Knut of that prize. He made a mental note to talk to the twins about the matter as soon as possible.
"An investor?" Ron said incredulously. "How'd you get someone to invest when you haven't got a product yet?"
"Well, we've got these fantastic Extendable Ears," said Fred. "But that's not the only thing we've been working on, little brother."
"All right, then. What else have you got?" said Ron, crossing his arms.
"As certain as we are that you would never reveal our trade secrets –"
"- not even under torture –"
"- we're not going to tell you," said George. "Projects in development remain strictly between us until we're ready to test them."
"Well, wait a minute," said Fred. "Maybe we could tell him about the S.S's. We're about ready to declare them fit for human consumption, right?"
"Fit for human consumption?" said Hermione in horrified tones.
"S.S's?" said Harry.
"I suppose we could spill the beans," said George. "But Ron has to swear he won't go tattling to Mum and Dad. Or any adult," he amended.
"I think Hermione should swear too," said Fred. "Remember how she got Harry's Firebolt confiscated because she thought it came from the mass murderer Sirius Black?"
"I don't tattle!" Ron said indignantly just as Hermione said, "It did come from him! I was right! He just wasn't a mass murderer is all."
"Yeah. A minor point," Harry teased.
"How come you're not getting on Harry's case?" said Hermione.
"I think Harry appreciates the value of a good joke," said George, winking at Harry.
"Hold on, here. I grew up with you two lunatics," said Ron. "If anyone can appreciate the value of one of your jokes it's me, especially since you used to use me as your guinea pig!"
"You didn't find the teddy spider very funny," said Fred. "That was one of our best efforts."
"It gave me a phobia!" said Ron.
"Which is just why I'm thinking we were right not to tell you our secrets," said George. "You're obviously gunning for some payback."
"Oh, I am," Ron said darkly, "but I'm not going to screw up your business to get it, so you can go ahead and tell me."
"What about you, Hermione?" said Fred. "Can we trust you?"
"This smacks of making a deal with the devil," she said suspiciously.
"Miss Granger," George said solemnly, "we would never make anything to cause people harm."
"Well, not serious harm," said Fred.
"Fred!" Hermione cried in exasperation.
"Look, it's just that when you make something edible you have to make extra sure that it's not dangerous. That's what I meant by the whole 'fit for human consumption' thing," said Fred. "Our products won't hurt people, we swear."
Hermione sighed. "Oh, all right. I won't go telling anyone about your joke. So what is it?"
"They're Skiving Snackboxes!" George said triumphantly. "Stuck in a tedious History of Magic lesson? Don't feel like slaving over a stinking stew in Potions? Skive off with a Snackbox."
"So far we've got Nosebleed Nougats, Puking Pastilles, and Fainting Fancies," said Fred.
"What?" said Hermione, plainly shocked.
"How do they work?" said Harry, intrigued.
"Well, take the Nosebleed Nougat, for example," said George. "Chew it up and swallow it down and in ten minutes you're guaranteed a nosebleed."
"Bloody brilliant!" said Ron. "Ha – that's a pun, isn't it?"
"That's horrible!" Hermione exclaimed.
"You'll make a fortune," said Harry.
"That's what we're counting on," said Fred.
"How can you be sure you won't make someone bleed to death?" Hermione demanded. Harry was fairly sure that she was regretting her promise already.
"Didn't we tell you they wouldn't do serious harm?" said George. "It's a very minor bleed. It stops after five minutes."
"Getting it to work properly was a little tricky, though," Fred admitted.
"Filch will have them banned before you can say 'detention'," said Hermione.
George shrugged. "Maybe. But I'm sure they'll have a glorious run at Hogwarts before the teachers catch on!"
They talked about the twins' ambitions and their inventions until the subject wore out. As they stopped contributing to the conversation, one by one they became aware of the dead silence around them. In the quiet moment that followed everyone strained to catch the faintest sound from behind the closed doors, but there was nothing. Hermione yawned and leaned her cheek against the carved wooden poles that supported the banister. Harry was feeling very sleepy himself; even without tussling with Madeleine Jenkins it still would have been a long day.
"I wonder how long they're going to be," Hermione said wearily.
"Yeah. If we were inside I'd say let's go on all night, but as it is..." said George.
"If only they hadn't kicked us out," Ron sighed. "Now it's midnight, we're stuck in a creepy old house, and we've got nothing to do because we can't eavesdrop."
The light of inspiration dawned on the twins' faces at the same moment; it was almost comical to see. They turned to look at each other with broad grins on their faces. "Midnight in a creepy old house? Someone tell me exactly what's boring about that," said Fred.
"Come on – let's have a look around," said George.
Harry felt himself wake up a bit. The twins were right – there was probably a lot to see here, especially since it didn't look as if the house had been cleaned properly in some time. It would certainly be a lot more entertaining than just sitting on the stairs and waiting for Sirius and Lupin to come out of the meeting. Then again, Harry had no idea how Sirius would feel about their poking around. Based on his reaction to the house in general, it could go either way.
Ron perked up at the twins' suggestion while Hermione had reservations. "I don't know," she said. "By the looks of things, Sirius' parents were Dark wizards. Who knows what kinds of nasty surprises are lurking in their cabinets?"
"Well, let's not open the cabinets, then," said George. "There's no harm in just looking. Besides, how often do you get the chance to explore a Dark wizard's house? It'll be like snooping around Malfoy Manor."
Hermione had to admit that it was a unique opportunity. Harry, who found his curiosity getting the better of him, began to think that just looking couldn't possibly do any harm, and he agreed to an expedition.
"Well, you sure don't have to go far to get started," said Fred, walking over to the display case in the corner. "Look at all this weird stuff!" The others, feeling more awake now that they had something to do, followed quickly.
"What's it all for, do you think?" said Hermione.
"Ugh, is that blood?" said Ron, looking at the crystal decanter.
"Who knows," said George. "Going by the rest of this house, though, it wouldn't surprise me."
"The writing on the boxes is Cyrillic," said Hermione. "Unfortunately, I can't read it."
"Cyrillic?" said Ron.
"Russian," Hermione clarified.
"What, Vicky didn't teach you any?" Ron sniped.
Hermione turned up her nose. "He taught me how to say a few things. Reading Russian is another matter entirely."
"I'll bet the rings are cursed," said George.
"Want to find out?" said Fred.
"No!" Harry and Hermione shouted together.
"Seriously," said Harry, "there's one thing in that case that I know is bad. Don't open it."
Ron gave his friend a quizzical look and turned to scrutinize the objects inside. When his eyes fell on the shiny collar they widened in surprise. "Where did they get that?" he said in awe.
"What?" Fred said eagerly.
"The Constrictor," said Ron, pointing at the object in question.
The twins' smiles vanished. "No kidding?" George said quietly.
"That's what Lucius Malfoy had at Professor Thornby's hearing," said Ron.
"If the Order is having meetings here, why don't they get rid of it?" said Hermione in disbelief. "Why would they want to take the chance that someone else could get their hands on it?"
"They don't think anyone else will," said Harry, and he told them what Lupin had said.
Hermione and Ron exchanged a critical glance. "I don't know," said Hermione. "This thing is evil. How could the Order even consider using it on anyone?"
"Don't you think a Death Eater Singer would deserve it?" said Ron. "With this thing we could be guaranteed that they wouldn't hurt anyone else."
Hermione shook her head. "Using this on someone – no matter how wicked they were – would be like using the Dark Arts," she said. "Think about it. If Dumbledore had used the Unforgivables to defeat Grindelwald all those years ago, how would he be any better than a Dark wizard?"
"He wouldn't have enjoyed using the Unforgivables, that's how," said Ron.
"Maybe, but there's a reason the Dark Arts are called by that name," said Hermione. "They're all about having control over other people. I think that once you get a taste of that kind of power it's hard to let go of it. It poisons you."
"You sound like a philosopher," said George.
Hermione shrugged. "History is littered with people who meant well but thought that the ends justified the means. I think that no matter how good your intentions are, the Dark Arts get the best of you in the end."
No one said anything. They all looked at the Constrictor, so simple and unassuming in its glass case. At first glance it looked harmless – just two coppery waves forming a circle. It could have just been an odd piece of jewelry to the untrained eye. But then Harry thought of Professor Thornby's reaction when confronted with it. Before that day he'd seen her sad, angry, and coolly standoffish, but never afraid. She had been afraid that day. The longer Harry looked at the Constrictor the more sinister the glinting metal became. When push came to shove, it was a tiny little cage just waiting to ensnare another victim.
"They can't use it," Hermione said stubbornly. "It's evil. It'll just make more evil unless it's destroyed."
"Come on," George said quietly. "Let's go look at something else."
Everyone was more than happy to leave the collar behind in search of something else, and they wandered into a sort of sitting room with several straight-backed chairs and a molding chaise-lounge. Just like in the dining room the chandelier was hung with cobwebs.
"Look at this door handle," said Fred. "It's a snake's head!"
"How much do you want to bet that Sirius comes from a long line of Slytherins?" said Ron.
Harry looked around the dark room and shuddered. Ron had been right in his first assessment of the house – it was creepy. Harry couldn't imagine growing up in a place like this. If he'd had the choice between Number Twelve, Grimmauld Place and Number Four, Privet Drive, he would have taken Privet Drive.
Fred and George had lit their wand tips in order to see better. Harry didn't have a wand and Ron and Hermione weren't allowed to use theirs outside of school, so the twins picked up some tarnished candlesticks and lit the tapers they held. Hermione immediately began peering at an iron bookstand that held a heavy old tome while Ron joined his brothers in peeking into shadowy corners. Harry simply stood in the middle of the room and looked about uneasily until something on the far wall caught his eye. At first he thought it was just wallpaper, but as he moved closer the flickering light from his candle revealed writing. A huge tapestry was stretched from the ceiling to the floor. There were names all over it connected to each other with golden thread. At the very top were the words "The Noble and Most Ancient House of Black – Toujours Pur".
"Hey, look!" said Harry. "It's Sirius' family tree!"
The others crowded around with their candles and glowing wands. "Wow," said Fred, leaning in closer to look at a name. "This family goes back for centuries!"
"Have you found Sirius?" said Hermione. "He'd be near the bottom, I think."
Everyone bent down to look. The last name in the lower right-hand corner of the tapestry was Regulus Black, to the right of which were two dates, apparently birth and death. Gold thread ran up and to the left of the name, connecting it to other people. Above Regulus were the names Rigel Black and Furia Macnair, who were connected by a double gold line and were also deceased. The line to the left of Regulus, however, ended at what appeared to be a large burn mark.
"That's funny," said George. "It looks like there used to be a name here, but I don't see Sirius anywhere."
"There are other burns on the tapestry," said Hermione. "Here, see? Next to Rigel." She ran her fingertips swiftly over the woven surface. "And here's another, next to… oh, my!" she exclaimed.
Everyone looked where her hand had stopped. There were several names in line with another burn mark – Bellatrix Black, who was connected with two gold lines to Rodolphus Lestrange, and Narcissa Black, who was linked to Lucius Malfoy. Beneath Narcissa and Lucius was Draco's name.
The group took in the names in stunned silence. Harry thought he was beginning to understand why Sirius loathed his family so much. Whether his name was on the tapestry or not, he was related to some of the most horrid people in the wizarding world.
As he looked at the damning evidence a memory came floating back to Harry. "You know that Bellatrix stabbed Sirius, right? At the execution," he said quietly. The others nodded. "She called him 'cousin'."
Ron and Hermione's mouths fell open. "Why didn't you tell us?" said Ron.
Harry shook his head. "I forgot," he said. "I mean, I was surprised enough at the time, but two seconds later I had bigger things to worry about, like the fact that I was completely at Bellatrix's mercy. And you know what happened after that."
"I think I see what's going on here," said Hermione. "The double lines mark a marriage. A single line marks family by birth. Children go below the parents. So if Sirius is Bellatrix Lestrange's cousin that would put him… here." She pointed to the burn mark. "He's been removed, and Regulus must have been his brother. But Regulus is dead, and so are his parents," she finished softly.
"Sirius never mentioned a brother," said Harry in wonder. "Of course, he's never mentioned the rest of his family, either."
"But who would take his name off his family tree?" said Ron.
Hermione shook her head. "I don't know."
"Well, Sirius obviously isn't a typical Black, is he?" said Fred. "If his Death Eater relatives are still there, then it sure says something about whoever burned Sirius' name off."
"This place is one big barrel of laughs, isn't it?" George said dryly.
"Come on, let's keep looking," said Ron. "At least it'll help us stay awake."
They didn't dare going upstairs after what they had already seen, so the five explorers kept moving in the same direction. They found a kitchen which was refreshingly unremarkable save for the layers of grime and a teapot that rattled ominously from its place on the hearth. There was a reading room with more molding upholstery and a few low bookshelves; only Hermione took much interest in the titles which she described as "very unpleasant". They found a painting of a stern-looking man that, unlike most portraits in the magical world, was not moving. He had a bony face, black hair streaked with gray, and sharp, dark eyes. His mouth was twisted just enough to give the suggestion of a sneer. The frame was as dusty as the rest of the house, and Fred had to rub his finger along the bottom to reveal the nameplate – Rigel Black.
Easily the most gruesome discovery they made was that of a row of stuffed house-elf heads hanging on plaques on a wall. The twins looked thoroughly repulsed while Hermione gasped and covered her mouth with both hands. She looked nearly ready to cry. Harry and Ron exchanged unhappy glances, feeling certain that this would mean a rebirth of S.P.E.W. Though the display of taxidermy was pitiful, neither had the desire to listen to another treatise on the rights of house-elves.
By the time they came to the dining room with the fireplace for traveling, everyone was feeling more than a little bit downhearted. He knew it was childish, but Harry couldn't help thinking that some nasty Dark creature was lurking in the shadows just waiting to leap out at them all. The whole house gave him the shivers.
"Maybe it's not so bad in the daytime," said Ron, looking nervously at the long, dark table with the clawed feet.
"Maybe," George said dubiously, "but I'm starting to think that even Draco Malfoy would find this place depressing."
"He's family," Fred snorted. "I think he'd be just fine here."
Suddenly Hermione jumped a foot into the air. She stared around the room with wide eyes, clutching her hand to her chest. She made Harry think of a cat with its tail gone all bushy. "I heard something!" she exclaimed.
"I think we need to get you back to the stairs," said Fred in a tone of voice usually reserved for the very young.
"No – there's something here!" she insisted. "There, in that corner!"
"O-kay. This house is getting to all of us," said George. "Now we're jumping at shadows –"
"What's that?" Ron gasped.
Fred rolled his eyes. "Oh, no. Not you too," he said. "Is oo afwaid of the dark, Ickle Wonniekins?"
George laughed and seemed about to chime in when he froze and his eyes opened wide. Fred and Harry went still as stone, for they heard it, too – a rustling sound in the far corner of the room. They waited in silence, ears straining for the faintest whisper, unable to move. Harry could feel blood pounding in his ears.
"Mistress is not wanting the infidels touching her things…"
The raspy voice that suddenly sounded from the corner shocked them all to the core. Harry heard the sharp intake of breath around him which was sure to be followed by the sound of terrified shouting in a split second…
A loud crash suddenly sounded out in the hall followed by a woman's piercing shrieks. "FILTH! SLIME! HOW DARE THESE ABOMINATIONS SULLY MY HOUSE!"
The loud noises broke the spell and Harry, Ron, Hermione and the twins practically fell out of the dining room and into the hall.
"Oh, Tonks, for heaven's sake!" Moody's voice boomed.
"I'm sorry!" Tonks cried. "I tripped!"
"QUIT MY DOMICILE AT ONCE, YOU CONSPIRING RATS –"
"Cover it up!"
"Tonks, get out of the way!"
"Aaugh! My foot's caught in the door –"
"THE FAMILY HAS BEEN BESMIRCHED BY THIS TRESPASS! FILTHY HALF-BLOODS!"
The shrieking was coming from a life size portrait of a wild old woman that Harry hadn't noticed before. It hung at the end of the hallway just outside the doors to the drawing room where the meeting had been taking place. Tonks was sprawled on the floor; Sirius and Kingsley were struggling to get past her.
"YOU!" the woman screeched when Sirius staggered in front of it with a snarl on his face. "YOU DISGRACE TO THE NAME OF BLACK, HOW DARE YOU ENTER THIS HOUSE, YOU ARE NO SON OF MINE –"
"Shut up, Mother!" Sirius bellowed. He seized two black velvet curtains that hung on either side of the portrait and yanked them shut. The woman's shrieks immediately ceased.
"Tonks, that is the last time you open the doors," sighed Professor McGonagall.
"If I hadn't tripped on the floorboards it just would've been something else," Tonks said ruefully. "A vase, an umbrella stand, my own feet…"
"She's a bit of a klutz," explained grizzled Mundungus Fletcher, seeing the five shocked students at the other end of the hall. He bent to help the fallen Auror to her feet.
"Yes, and it's not a trait one wants to have as an Auror," Tonks added. "Oooh, I'm going to have a nasty bruise tomorrow."
"Who… who was that?" said Harry, the first of his group to find his voice.
"Mommie Dearest, that's who," said Sirius, giving the covered portrait a venomous glare. "We don't much care for one another."
"Does she always do that?" Hermione said breathlessly.
"Yes," Sirius said matter-of-factly. "That's why we keep her covered up."
"Why don't you take her down?" said Fred.
"We think she used a Permanent Sticking charm to keep herself there," said Mrs. Weasley, coming out into the hall. "Of course you know all about Permanent Sticking charms, don't you, boys?"
The twins grinned impishly at one another. "We can't imagine what you mean, Mum."
Mrs. Weasley raised an eyebrow but had no chance to reply as the rest of the Order was filing out into the hall and Disapparating. Lupin made his way over to Harry and his friends. "Well – time to go," he said wearily.
"Just like that?" Fred muttered.
"It's one o'clock. We don't much feel like lingering," said Lupin. Sirius and the Weasleys joined the group and herded everyone back to the fireplace in the dining room. Sirius, who seemed especially impatient to leave, picked up a pot of Floo powder and thrust it into Harry's hand.
"Wait a minute!" said Ron. "When are we going to get to see each other again? If it's going to be weeks then this is kind of rushed, don't you think?"
"Soon," said Mr. Weasley. He yawned copiously behind one hand. "Just take our word for it, son."
Harry gave Ron and Hermione a helpless look, reached into the pot, and pulled out a handful of powder. He knew they felt as he did – they wanted to know about this strange old house and all the things they had seen. There was no telling when they'd be coming back to what was apparently the Order headquarters. It seemed to Harry that every time he got one question answered it generated a dozen more.
"I guess I'll see you when I see you," he said to his friends.
"Write as soon as you know something," Hermione said quickly, and the Weasley children nodded emphatically. The adults gave them a collective look of confusion, but none of the students elaborated. Harry knew what Hermione meant - write as soon as you've gotten some answers out of Sirius.
Harry flung the Floo powder into the fireplace. "Alverbrooke!" he said, stepped into the green fire, and vanished.