I'm so so sorry! But posts will have to be considerably shorter these days! I can't keep up! Argh! Losing concentration. Okay, don't complain this post is too short, I know it is. I know its shorter than my usually short posts compared to other ppls' posts. But it's either a short one everyday, or a long one during the weekends.

School work = torture.

Physics test tomorrow, Elementary Maths on Functions next week, English Oral on Friday. Okay, wish me luck.

Bye and enjoy what little I can provide. =)

Post 41

I had to make up my mind. I was aching so much inside and it hurts so bad. I have to fix everything, if not I'd surely break down.

"Sirius!" I called.

He stopped but didn't turn around. I saw James look at him and then nod. He continued down his way along the path and Sirius turned.

He plunged his hands into his pockets and raised his eyebrows every so slightly. I ran towards him, my heart beating thunderously against my chest. He was clearly avoiding my eyes. He looked every where else, his feet, the sky, the trees everywhere except me.

"Sirius, are you mad at me?"

He sighed deeply.

"I don't know... should I be?"

"Listen, I know you are," I said, my voice trembling. "But I need you to know something..."

"What?"

"Well... I love you Sirius, I still do. Believe me..." I said, my voice full of fear. "But my father doesn't like us together... so I had to, Sirius. There's nothing I can do to go against him... I can't."

"So your father means more to you than us then?" He replied roughly, his eyes boring into mine now.

I stared at him, frightened. "Sirius... it's not like that..."

I reached out to take his hand but he jumped back, snatching it away quickly. He stared at me as though I'd done something revolting and backed away.

"You said you still loved me," I said in a desperate call out to him.

He didn't even look back. He just jogged away and caught up with James. So much for righting the wrong that tugged so painfully at my heart. All it felt now was worse.

If only I hadn't listened to my father. But I couldn't be sure that nothing will happen to Sirius. Father has his way.

We were so happy and carefree then and how his feelings could've changed so drastically puzzled me. Well... if he didn't want me back, then fine. I tried to tell myself that. No use crying over a guy who doesn't appreciate you anyway. Forget about him and carry on with your life, you have much to live for.

My attention wasn't at all on the game. Father had dragged me up to the top box with the teachers, and Professor Dumbledore. I seriously wanted to be anywhere else but with him. I never spoke a word to him, and if I did it was just an abrupt reply.

The day finally ended. Father went home. I felt a strange weight lifted off my shoulders. But the heaviness of my heart lingered.