The vision of Sirius' past that haunted Tonks' bedroom wasn't a
nightly occurrence. As far as she could tell, it happened randomly, with
no discernable pattern. Twice in the week since the initial appearance,
Tonks had been woken out of a sound sleep to view the apparition.
She was no longer frightened by it, more saddened, but it was still disturbing to witness. Tonight, she was exhausted, after putting in a double shift at the ministry and sitting through a long, tedious order meeting. She had dropped into her bed pausing only to tug off her robes and boots.
When the sounds of the ghostly beating woke her, she didn't even stop to think. She simply disapparated.
Stumbling as she apparated in Remus' room, she landed on her knees by the bed.
"Bugger." She hissed as she clambered to her feet, glancing at the empty bed. Where was he?
Then she heard a soft noise behind her. She turned freezing when she saw the enormous wolf lying on the hearthrug.
Bloody hell. The full moon.
"Remus?" She whispered.
The wolf ducked his head and his tail thumped the floor hesitantly.
Her heart ached for him. "Oh, Remus."
He lifted his head, golden eyes studying her. Then he slowly rose, padding close.
She stretched out her hand. "You can understand me, right?"
He inclined his head in a canine version of a nod, his ears flicking forward. He moved closer, his tongue coming out to lick her wrist.
"I know you didn't want me to be here tonight but that stupid ghost thing happened again and I didn't think I just apparated and ended up here." She said in a rush.
Head tilted, Remus let out a confused sounding whine.
Tonks crossed her arms over her chest. "That made perfect sense."
His tongue lolled out in a doggy grin.
She narrowed her eyes at him. "Are you making fun of me?"
He made a chuffing noise, as if he were laughing, and his tail waved back and forth like a plume.
"Ok, fine, dog breath. I'll leave if you want." She turned and started to the door. He leapt forward and caught her sleeve in his teeth, whining.
She stopped, glancing at him from the corner of her eyes. She knew that he had probably charmed the door to stop himself from getting out, which meant she couldn't leave that way either, but ignored that. "Do you want me to stay?"
He tugged on her sleeve, his golden eyes pleading. "Urf." She remained where she was, not quite looking at him.
Remus had never wished not to be wolf more than at that moment. He longed to be human, because he would have a voice then and could speak to her. He wanted to beg her not to leave him, to forgive him for teasing her and for not letting her be with him when he changed.
He longed to ask her if it was alright, him being a wolf, and could he please just sit with her?
But as a wolf, he couldn't speak, and had to settle for a swipe of his tongue on her hand and a noise somewhere between a growl and a groan.
She turned to face him. "Are you sure?"
He sank down on his haunches and stared at her.
"I'm not sure what kind of company I'll be. I'm worn out." She told him.
With a pointed look, he went to the bed and launched himself onto it with an easy leap. Then he lay down.
Tonks followed him, climbing onto the bed and sitting cross-legged beside him. She gazed at him for a while, biting her bottom lip. Then she spoke, her voice soft and uncertain.
"Can I... is it ok if I pet you?"
Was it ok? He wanted nothing more than to feel those slender hands on his fur. He inched closer to her on his belly as an answer, and huffed out a sigh.
He watched intently as she reached out her hand, her fingers brushing over the top of his head.
Then, both her hands were on him, fingers curled in his ruff, scratching luxuriously. He kept his gaze locked on her face, feeling a rush of warmth as her lips curved up in a sweet smile. Then she was smoothing her hands over his sides in long strokes. His tail thumped on the bedclothes.
This was much better than sleeping on the hearthrug all alone.
It felt good. He hadn't had any human contact as a wolf in a long time. Well, there had been Sirius, but he had preferred being a dog. And despite the urges of the wolf, which he felt, but was able to control, full moons were lonely for him.
It was a bit surreal, Tonks decided, to be petting Remus in his wolf form. True she wanted to get her hands on him as a man, but hadn't really thought about him as a wolf. It had always been an abstract concept. But when he was lying right in front of her in wolf form, she couldn't have resisted.
His fur was soft and thick, the same color as his hair, a golden brown threaded with silver. His eyes were a little more yellow as a wolf, but still held the same intelligence and humor as the man's.
She leaned down, bringing her face closer to his. "You're very handsome as a wolf, you know." She told him.
He blinked, his ears flicking forward.
She pressed a kiss on his muzzle, just above his nose.
He used the opportunity to graze her chin with his tongue.
Giggling, she shoved him lightly. "None of that, boyo! Behave yourself." But her voice held no annoyance. She yawned hugely, covering her mouth with the back of her hand.
"Sorry, Remus. I told you I was tired."
He inched closer.
She shifted, sliding her legs under the bedclothes. Lying on her side, the wolf in front of her, she resumed petting him.
He settled beside her, laying his head on his paws.
Shortly, she was sound asleep, the wolf watching over her.
Tonks woke early the next morning when Remus, still in wolf form, launched himself off the bed. Blinking blearily, she turned her head, peering at him in the predawn gloom.
He was crouched in the middle of the room, his ears back, his back arched. Then he lifted his head and let out a howl.
Tonks sat up, letting the covers fall away. "Remus?" She whispered.
He howled again, this time a terrible pain-filled sound that chilled her. She stared at him, horrified, as he began to change.
His howl became strangled, turning into a very human cry.
With a gasp, Tonks covered her face with her hands, unable to watch any longer.
His guttural screams tormented her. She wished there was something, anything that she could do for him. Then his voice died out, replaced by hoarse panting, and the dull thud of something hitting the floor. Tonks let her hands drop, tears springing to her eyes at the image that greeted her.
Remus was transformed, curled up naked on the floor, his skin glistening with sweat, his muscles quivering.
Sliding out of bed, Tonks went to him, dragging one of the blankets with her to cover him. She wrapped it around him as best she could without moving him, then knelt beside him, gently touching his shoulder.
"Remus?" She whispered, her voice small and timid.
There was a break in his ragged breathing, but he didn't speak. His face was twisted in an expression of agony.
Cautiously, she pushed him over onto his back, laying his head in her lap. He groaned softly, but opened his eyes.
She was crying, he realized. Tears running downs her cheeks leaving silver tracks.
"Tonks." He said softly, his voice a hoarse rasp. "Tonks, don't cry. I'm alright."
She brushed his hair away from his face. "God, Remus."
He lifted a shaky hand to wipe at her tears. "Tonks..."
"Do you need anything? Any potions or anything?" She asked, a catch in her voice.
"Tonks..."
"Maybe you should move to the bed..."
"Tonks..."
"Tea? Do you want tea?"
"Nymphadora." Exasperation colored his voice.
She stopped talking, and looked down at him.
"I love you." He whispered.
She was no longer frightened by it, more saddened, but it was still disturbing to witness. Tonight, she was exhausted, after putting in a double shift at the ministry and sitting through a long, tedious order meeting. She had dropped into her bed pausing only to tug off her robes and boots.
When the sounds of the ghostly beating woke her, she didn't even stop to think. She simply disapparated.
Stumbling as she apparated in Remus' room, she landed on her knees by the bed.
"Bugger." She hissed as she clambered to her feet, glancing at the empty bed. Where was he?
Then she heard a soft noise behind her. She turned freezing when she saw the enormous wolf lying on the hearthrug.
Bloody hell. The full moon.
"Remus?" She whispered.
The wolf ducked his head and his tail thumped the floor hesitantly.
Her heart ached for him. "Oh, Remus."
He lifted his head, golden eyes studying her. Then he slowly rose, padding close.
She stretched out her hand. "You can understand me, right?"
He inclined his head in a canine version of a nod, his ears flicking forward. He moved closer, his tongue coming out to lick her wrist.
"I know you didn't want me to be here tonight but that stupid ghost thing happened again and I didn't think I just apparated and ended up here." She said in a rush.
Head tilted, Remus let out a confused sounding whine.
Tonks crossed her arms over her chest. "That made perfect sense."
His tongue lolled out in a doggy grin.
She narrowed her eyes at him. "Are you making fun of me?"
He made a chuffing noise, as if he were laughing, and his tail waved back and forth like a plume.
"Ok, fine, dog breath. I'll leave if you want." She turned and started to the door. He leapt forward and caught her sleeve in his teeth, whining.
She stopped, glancing at him from the corner of her eyes. She knew that he had probably charmed the door to stop himself from getting out, which meant she couldn't leave that way either, but ignored that. "Do you want me to stay?"
He tugged on her sleeve, his golden eyes pleading. "Urf." She remained where she was, not quite looking at him.
Remus had never wished not to be wolf more than at that moment. He longed to be human, because he would have a voice then and could speak to her. He wanted to beg her not to leave him, to forgive him for teasing her and for not letting her be with him when he changed.
He longed to ask her if it was alright, him being a wolf, and could he please just sit with her?
But as a wolf, he couldn't speak, and had to settle for a swipe of his tongue on her hand and a noise somewhere between a growl and a groan.
She turned to face him. "Are you sure?"
He sank down on his haunches and stared at her.
"I'm not sure what kind of company I'll be. I'm worn out." She told him.
With a pointed look, he went to the bed and launched himself onto it with an easy leap. Then he lay down.
Tonks followed him, climbing onto the bed and sitting cross-legged beside him. She gazed at him for a while, biting her bottom lip. Then she spoke, her voice soft and uncertain.
"Can I... is it ok if I pet you?"
Was it ok? He wanted nothing more than to feel those slender hands on his fur. He inched closer to her on his belly as an answer, and huffed out a sigh.
He watched intently as she reached out her hand, her fingers brushing over the top of his head.
Then, both her hands were on him, fingers curled in his ruff, scratching luxuriously. He kept his gaze locked on her face, feeling a rush of warmth as her lips curved up in a sweet smile. Then she was smoothing her hands over his sides in long strokes. His tail thumped on the bedclothes.
This was much better than sleeping on the hearthrug all alone.
It felt good. He hadn't had any human contact as a wolf in a long time. Well, there had been Sirius, but he had preferred being a dog. And despite the urges of the wolf, which he felt, but was able to control, full moons were lonely for him.
It was a bit surreal, Tonks decided, to be petting Remus in his wolf form. True she wanted to get her hands on him as a man, but hadn't really thought about him as a wolf. It had always been an abstract concept. But when he was lying right in front of her in wolf form, she couldn't have resisted.
His fur was soft and thick, the same color as his hair, a golden brown threaded with silver. His eyes were a little more yellow as a wolf, but still held the same intelligence and humor as the man's.
She leaned down, bringing her face closer to his. "You're very handsome as a wolf, you know." She told him.
He blinked, his ears flicking forward.
She pressed a kiss on his muzzle, just above his nose.
He used the opportunity to graze her chin with his tongue.
Giggling, she shoved him lightly. "None of that, boyo! Behave yourself." But her voice held no annoyance. She yawned hugely, covering her mouth with the back of her hand.
"Sorry, Remus. I told you I was tired."
He inched closer.
She shifted, sliding her legs under the bedclothes. Lying on her side, the wolf in front of her, she resumed petting him.
He settled beside her, laying his head on his paws.
Shortly, she was sound asleep, the wolf watching over her.
Tonks woke early the next morning when Remus, still in wolf form, launched himself off the bed. Blinking blearily, she turned her head, peering at him in the predawn gloom.
He was crouched in the middle of the room, his ears back, his back arched. Then he lifted his head and let out a howl.
Tonks sat up, letting the covers fall away. "Remus?" She whispered.
He howled again, this time a terrible pain-filled sound that chilled her. She stared at him, horrified, as he began to change.
His howl became strangled, turning into a very human cry.
With a gasp, Tonks covered her face with her hands, unable to watch any longer.
His guttural screams tormented her. She wished there was something, anything that she could do for him. Then his voice died out, replaced by hoarse panting, and the dull thud of something hitting the floor. Tonks let her hands drop, tears springing to her eyes at the image that greeted her.
Remus was transformed, curled up naked on the floor, his skin glistening with sweat, his muscles quivering.
Sliding out of bed, Tonks went to him, dragging one of the blankets with her to cover him. She wrapped it around him as best she could without moving him, then knelt beside him, gently touching his shoulder.
"Remus?" She whispered, her voice small and timid.
There was a break in his ragged breathing, but he didn't speak. His face was twisted in an expression of agony.
Cautiously, she pushed him over onto his back, laying his head in her lap. He groaned softly, but opened his eyes.
She was crying, he realized. Tears running downs her cheeks leaving silver tracks.
"Tonks." He said softly, his voice a hoarse rasp. "Tonks, don't cry. I'm alright."
She brushed his hair away from his face. "God, Remus."
He lifted a shaky hand to wipe at her tears. "Tonks..."
"Do you need anything? Any potions or anything?" She asked, a catch in her voice.
"Tonks..."
"Maybe you should move to the bed..."
"Tonks..."
"Tea? Do you want tea?"
"Nymphadora." Exasperation colored his voice.
She stopped talking, and looked down at him.
"I love you." He whispered.