-- This Chapter was updated 9-1-2008 --

Huminshou

By Zelia Theb

Disclaimer: Yu Yu Hakusho is the property of Yoshihiro Togashi. Mario is a popular character from Nintendo, so he's not mine either.

Hiei woke up from the sound of his own cough. Cough? Hiei didn't cough. Maybe the detective was smoking again. Yusuke wasn't anywhere to be found, at least from his view from the detective's bed. The demon tried to sit himself up and felt a slow pain creep up his back and into his neck and shoulders. His muscles ached all over, and his ankles were numb from lack of circulation.

His shoes were still on?

He kicked them off then flopped back into the mattress. He quickly tugged the blankets around him; since when does Yusuke have air conditioning in his room? It felt like winter! He shivered then jumbled himself out of the bed (after tripping due to his own mistake of wrapping himself in sheets like a present). He made it to the door and opened it, then leaned on the frame and coughed again.

"You're coughing?" Yusuke questioned, looking up from his newly formed breakfast making duties.

"You must be smoking again," Hiei defended.

"You don't look so good," Yusuke said, turning off the burner of the stove that he was working with and coming over to Hiei.

"I tire of hearing you humans call me ugly," Hiei retorted. He hadn't even done anything, as usual, and Yusuke was already insulting him!

"I don't think that you're ugly," the boy assured him, placing a hand on Hiei's cheek. "You're really hot, eerm, I mean warm."

"What did I say, Detective?" Hiei scowled. "You're pushing it." Who said that he could just touch him like that? Wasn't it obvious that a fire demon would be warm?

But he was cold!

"Are you sick?"

Hiei blinked. Of course he wasn't sick! He was coughing from the cigarette smoke (of which there was none lingering), cold from the air conditioning (which Yusuke didn't have), and aching from all those strange sleeping positions (which is Yusuke's fault because he owned a bed).

"Go take a bath," Yusuke commanded, as if Hiei was actually going to listen to him. "I have to get the laundry from the basement."

"Hn. Since when do I bathe on your command?" Hiei snided, ending the statement with a cough.

"First of all, you're sick, so you need to take a warm bath." The boy's chocolate orbs narrowed as his voice became angrier. "Second of all, you pissy ungrateful demon, I'm going out of my way to make you food and take care of you, and all you do is complain. I even tried to get you out of the building last night and you didn't even want to do that! So shut up, get in the bath, and wait for me to get you clean clothes and finish cooking breakfast!"

"You can't make me do anything!" Hiei yelled back (which wasn't a good idea; his throat was becoming raw from the coughing, and it only caused him to cough again).

"You're the idiot who let Kurama flirt with you so much that Koenma had to make a bet on it with some assistant guy! If you didn't do that, or STEAL stuff to begin with, maybe you wouldn't be here!"

"I DO NOT LIKE KURAMA!"

"I know!" Yusuke informed him. "But that doesn't mean that this whole thing isn't your fault, stupid! I mean, damn, Hiei! Don't you think this whole punishment pisses me off too?"

"So I'm an inconvenience?"

Yusuke's face did more gymnastics. If his overwhelming desire to give the sick demon a hug wasn't there to hold him back, he swore that he could strangle him right then and there.

"Fine," Hiei said, his eyes showing hurt but his face only expressing pain during his coughing fits. "You know, I could kill you now and then I'd never have to listen to you again." Yes, that ought to shut the detective up. Fear the… his thoughts were interrupted by the spasms in his chest …great…Jagan…

"Ah yes. Then Yukina comes up to you crying, asking why you murdered the person who saved her from the bad guys. Yes, what a nice brother you are." The vibrating sound of a string was heard echoing through the apartment, much like when the hammer of a piano comes crashing down. Yusuke had just struck a nerve.

"Shut up. You have no idea what you're talking about, so just shut up!" Passion and anger were more prominent in the short demon's voice now. It was clear that he was probably going to lose it (his marbles, not his voice, though he was close to losing that as well).

Yusuke growled, "Just go take that damn bath! I'll be right back!"

Moments later, Hiei found himself sitting in a tub of hot water. Could he admit that the boy was right? Maybe. It did warm him up, and it eased the pain in his muscles, not to mention the effect that the steam had on his lungs. He sneezed, the reaction causing his body to jerk and slip completely under the water. His hair was limp from the weight of the scented water. It fell to his shoulders neatly, with strands of white and black framing the sides of his face.

How did he get himself into this mess? Was it really all his fault? Sure, the whole 'Let's steal Enma's Artifacts of Darkness' plot was his idea, though it was foiled by Yusuke (on sheer luck, no less). Then again, Kurama was the idiot master thief who betrayed him in the first place. He could have easily disposed of Yusuke, and not been so willing to help the delinquent out.

Kurama could have also laid off on the touching, the smiles, the random comments which alluded to the (untrue) fact that he would know Hiei better than anyone. As if. As a matter of fact, the one who probably knew him the best was the one he despised the most, the carrot-top Kuwabara. Hiei blew bubbles out of his mouth in disgust (the water came up to the top of his nose).

The detective was partially right; it was Kurama's fault for getting him into this mess. And now he had a human cold on top of it all! What could be worse…. Hiei thought himself into a spiral. He knew that Yusuke would turn to Kurama for help on curing him. Not only would the fox be spurring more rumors (and that is all that they were; rumors), but he would have to watch those sickening green eyes of his play elevator with Yusuke. He had no idea when Kurama had decided to be so flamboyant about his feelings toward the detective, but it was disgusting.

Of course, if Hiei had just pretended to be with Kurama, then perhaps Koenma would have released him from this concrete and steel prison. He wouldn't have to let the detective trick him into sleeping in his bed anymore, and he could forget all of the human thoughts and feelings that have been going through his head for the past few days. The worst of them all was the dream he had last night. Yusuke had kissed him, and Hiei wanted to return it, but Yusuke was soon swallowed up by a giant marshmallow which insisted on dancing with cheerleaders. Ugly cheerleaders. It was still a far better dream than he had been having (when he did have them). A lot less nightmarish.

"I'm back, Hiei," Yusuke called through the door after knocking, "and I have clothes for you…so…umm…"

Hiei hugged his knees, trying to cover himself up, then replied, "Just come in." He didn't want it to seem like he was hitting on Yusuke by flashing him, though it would be blurred by the water.

The door cracked open a bit, and Yusuke asked, "Is it safe?" The last thing that the teenager needed was to let Hiei catch him staring. It was bad enough that he was attracted to him and stole a kiss last night.

"It's fine." Yusuke let out his held breath and walked in with folded pajamas in his hands. He set them down on a dry basin next to the towels, then turned to Hiei to speak.

"These should…" he cracked a smile, "keep you comfortable."

"What are you smiling about?" Hiei asked. He had to ask again because he realized that the boy probably couldn't hear him through the water.

"I wish that I had a camera!" he joked.

"Why? Is demon pornography a hot seller on the black market?" Hiei glowered at him.

"No, your hair. I didn't think that it was possible!" It made him appear less…evil.

"Hn. Get out."

"Fine, fine, fine. Don't get your wards in a bunch," Yusuke taunted, picking up the old clothing from the floor. "Just let me take these so I can do the next load of laundry." Someone had to do the chores around here!

Hiei perked up, unfolding his legs (a knee-jerk reaction), and protested, "Uh…No! Leave them here."

"Eer…okay." Yusuke dropped them back to the floor and left. Hiei sighed in relief. The last thing he needed was for the boy to check his pockets. On the other hand, the most recent last thing he wanted was for Yusuke to not see his… oh well, the boy probably didn't see anything anyway.

"Yes, it's just a cold, or some sort of influenza." Kurama turned back to Hiei (who was laying vulnerably in the cursed sheets of evil) and told him, "Just drink that tea and you should be better by tomorrow, maybe even tonight."

"Whatever," Hiei curtly replied.

"Thanks for coming over Kurama," Yusuke said from his position at the foot of his own bed. It really couldn't be considered the foot of the bed this time; Hiei's feet hardly reached the edge.

"Oh, no problem," Kurama answered with a wink. "I'll call to check up on him tomorrow." The two teenagers left the room, closing the door behind them.

Hiei rolled his eyes as he sipped at the medicinal beverage. At least he didn't have to see any more displays of horrid affection, though he desperately wanted to go out there and prevent it. Yusuke liked Keiko, right? So there was nothing to worry about. But what about Keiko? So there was something to worry about after all. Like nothing, absolutely nothing. He could care less.

Because he could care less, he reached down and pulled a familiar photograph out of the pocket of the jeans he wore earlier. He stared at it intently, wondering how Botan had gotten something like that. He was happy that he had managed to steal it without her knowledge. Now it was time to destroy it. He held it above the sheets and used all of his will to ignite it.

To… ignite it.

He growled at the peaceful faces in the picture. Ignite, damn it!

"Why won't you BURN!" Hiei roared quietly. The pupils of his eyes went small as he widened his eyelids.

BURST INTO FLAMES!

Nothing. It was no use, there must have been some part of him that was holding back his attack. He trusted that it was the fault of the cold that he didn't have. Meanwhile…

Yusuke sat down on his familiar couch, bored out of his mind. He hadn't been to the arcade in days, and he couldn't leave Hiei alone. He sighed loudly, spurring Kurama (who was hesitantly gathering his bookbag to leave) to speak up.

"What's wrong, Yusuke?"

"I'm bored, that's all," the addressed boy answered.

"I think that I may have a cure for that as well…" Kurama smoothly uttered with that same flirtatious smirk he adorned his face with the previous night. Yusuke froze, hoping that Kurama had an arcade in his bookbag, and not some groping tricks up his sleeve.

"We can play a game!" the redhead declared cheerfully. He opened his bag and pulled out a game console, two controllers, and a few wires (which were wrapped neatly in small coils).

The Universe didn't hate the human boy all that much.

Ditching all doubt out the window (not forgetting the bungee cords; they had to spring back into his head eventually), Yusuke anxiously waited as Kurama connected the console to his television. The partial demon had brought three games, a martial arts tournament type, a Mario game, and a puzzle game. Naturally, Yusuke reached for the fighting game cartridge and inserted it into the machine.

After fighting several rounds (and only winning one out of every four), Yusuke set the controller down and offered, "Want something to drink?" Kurama nodded as he set his own controller down to stretch. His posterior was growing sore; there was something about video games which made normal people choose the floor over a regular seat. He stood and maneuvered himself over to the sofa, and Yusuke returned with two cans of pop.

The short-haired one began massaging his thumbs, remarking, "Man, just shows how long it's been since I've done any hard-core gaming." He sat down on the couch next to Kurama, unaware that he was about to be pounced.

"Let me fix that for you…" Kurama boldly took Yusuke's hands and took over the job of masseuse, being cautious not to lose his fixation on the shocked brown eyes (the bungee cord finally snapped back).

"Ku…Kurama…what are you doing?" Yusuke stammered, thinking of different ways to get out of the situation. See, his problem wasn't just Hiei or Keiko, but the fact that if Kurama were to make some sort of move on him, he probably wouldn't resist. This was all based on the fact that he was young and anxious for some physical affection (once he had a taste, he couldn't go back, though it was a shame he couldn't remember her name…), and the fact that he did think Kurama was rather…feminine and quite attractive for a guy.

"I'm flirting with you," the fox (yes, a double meaning indeed) replied honestly.

"S…since when…do you…" Yusuke fumbled with his speech again as Kurama inched closer, beginning to loom over him.

"Since always." He followed the whisper by licking his lips, letting Yusuke know that there was no escape.

Or was there?

"Detective."

Leaping up, nearly saying, "Oh thank heavens you came to my rescue my fair prince!" but didn't, Yusuke ran over to Hiei and felt his head for a temperature. A short distance behind him, Kurama shot an incredibly nasty glare straight through his crush's head and into Hiei.

"Oh, your temperature dropped! That's good," Yusuke spoke quicker than Hiei could run, "Yes, very good, don't you think so Kurama? Yes," he answered for the demon. "Very good. You do a good job…eer…you make good medicine, and he got better really fast!" Yusuke finally ended his overly embarrassing tirade by laughing hysterically.

"Looks like there's no need to check up on me tomorrow, fox," Hiei stated clearly. The tension in the room was quite dense; not even a fog expert from London could have navigated their way out of it.

Hiei was absent for another week. He took flight after having woken up next to Yusuke the morning after he recovered. That boy would be his undoing (of many things: his mask, his demon side, and possibly his pants). He never returned for another short nap, he had taken a liking to the roof, or sometimes on cold nights, the floor of the laundry room in the basement, especially when someone had a dryer turned on. He loved sitting near that vent. He'd find himself sneaking into the empty apartment on the top floor at times to use the shower. If there was one thing that he liked about the human world, it was the invention of the shower.

Yusuke decided to go to school for a few days. His mother finally came home, announcing that she had a new boyfriend, so she would probably be gone for most nights. He hadn't talked to anyone lately, except Keiko and Kuwabara, though he tried his hardest to avoid the girl. Keiko was no longer on the top of Yusuke's 'To Do' list, but he wasn't ready to tell her.

He was taking his usual lunch break, a dish of tobacco with a side of nicotine, on the school roof. That's when Botan flew in, wearing her own blue school uniform.

"Hello, Yusuke!" She hopped off her oar as it dematerialized.

"Great, what now?" Yusuke asked. He flicked some ashes on the ground despondently. He didn't want to talk to anyone.

"Nothing…I just came to tell you that Hiei's sentence is up." Yusuke's jaw dropped into his lap (if only; that was merely a dream that certain men had).

"You mean…he's back in the Demon World now?!" Yusuke shouted, his distress apparent.

"Oh! No!" Botan quickly corrected herself, "I mean that he is back to his regular probation now." That was…better. She continued, "So you can tell him after school." Yusuke picked his jaw back up. He wasn't gone yet.

"Well, at least Koenma got his stupid act straight," Yusuke remarked.

"Oh, well…he didn't exactly…" Yusuke's eyebrows moved up curiously. Yes, age-defying cream was a must on the five-finger discount list. The apparition explained, "Well, he ended up winning that bet."

"Huh? How?" Did Koenma dig through all of his old tapes or something?

"Well, two days ago, Kurama visited Hiei…" Botan let out, realizing that perhaps the Spirit Detective didn't want to really hear the reason, "and he returned his cloak to him. I don't know…"

"But," Yusuke faltered, "Hiei says he doesn't like Kurama, and Kurama likes…"

"I know. Well, Kurama's communicator must have slipped on or something, because Koenma witnessed him kissing Hiei's neck, and calling him little words like 'love' and whatnot. Hiei didn't seem to pleased with the whole ordeal, and it almost looked like Kurama had done it on purpose. But that was enough for Koenma."

"Oh…"

"What's the matter? It's not a big deal," Botan noted.

"Well, Kurama doesn't like Hiei either, and Hiei can't like Kurama…"

Botan's tone of voice changed swiftly. "What about Keiko, Yusuke?"

"What do you mean what about Keiko?" Yusuke inquired, taking down a dense gulp of air.

"She's a nice girl!" Botan scolded him, shaking her index finger, "Don't you go breaking her heart!"

For once in his lifetime, Yusuke actually felt like attending class. He stood up and ditched his shortened cigarette, allowing it to burn away, and yelled ,"Just leave me alone, okay!"

He started at the basement and worked his way upwards. Finally, he was at the roof, and he found him.

"I…I know that Kurama found your cloak," Yusuke stated, watching the cloak flow in the breeze as Hiei stood with his back turned to the boy, glancing out over the city.

"He did." His voice was being carried off by the ominous wind, becoming of a storm.

"Well, because of that," Yusuke stated jealously, "You're back to your normal probation. Botan told me earlier today."

"Hn. Good," Hiei remarked as he leapt off the roof of the building in a black flash, illuminated by the lightning that had just streaked through the sky at the same moment.

Nothing could wake him up. Not the pounding of the rain against his window, not the crashes of violent thunder, not the footsteps in his room, not even the thud of a wet cloak on his floor, accessorized with the sound of shoes being kicked off and a shift in the weight on the bed.

He didn't even wake up when his body was pushed to the side and fell off the bed (well, the pusher had managed to catch the pushee at the last moment with his wet hands). It wasn't until morning that he woke up, having turned on his side during the night and finding Hiei in his arms once more. It was rather agitating, and embarrassing, but neither of them had ever deeply discussed the fact.

He smiled, staring at the boyish look on the shorter one's face. He brushed a misplaced strand of ebony hair back behind his ear, unafraid of perishing. The notion that Hiei had picked his room to sleep in of all places in the city that night brought him great happiness, easing the fears that Kurama's stunt had given him.

He couldn't describe the new wave of emotion that came over him. It was like that second time he stole a naughty magazine; he knew that he could get away with it, and that made him want to do it again. What could he say for himself; he was a bad kid with good intentions. So naturally, he gave in to his rebellious teen urges and placed another innocent kiss on the sleeping one's lips. Unfortunately, this time he was a little too close to being caught.

"Hn…" Hiei groaned, stretching his legs and opening sixty-six point six six six six six six (and so on) percent of his eyes.

"Hey," Yusuke uttered, "are ya hungry?"

"No." There were a few instances of silence as both of them wondered who would be the first to get out of bed.

"Why did you come here instead of going to Kura…" He was cut off as Hiei jerked away at the near mention of the other demon's name. Hiei jumped up and reached for his cloak. Upon picking it up, he quickly dropped it, because it never dried.

"I'll clean that for you!" Yusuke exclaimed, his voice apologizing for his earlier remark.

"Fine," Hiei agreed, swiping one of his other hand-me-down tees off the floor, "I'll come back for it tomorrow and that's it." 'That's it' referring to the last time he'll ever visit Yusuke's apartment. He quickly exited through the overused window.

The detective stuck by his philosophy. At least he had gotten his chance. He let his bare feet fall to the floor as he stood to close the window. He began gathering the laundry for the week, and checked all the pockets (just in case the Universe decided to hand him some miracle en). Out of habit, he even checked the seamless pockets of the soaked black cloak, and was surprised when he felt a piece of paper inside. He pulled it out and uncrinkled it, then flipped it over as the side he was previously viewing was blank white (more off-white as it was wrinkled and dirty and the edges were somewhat torn).

It was Botan's blackmail photograph. Why had Hiei kept it? He knew that he must have had it for a while, because Botan would never have allowed it to get into such a condition. Hiei should have destroyed it, but he didn't. A new array of questions bombarded Yusuke's mind (no mind's were hurt during the arrival of such queries). He stuffed it in his own pocket, anxious yet extremely nervous to ask Hiei how he had gotten it, or why he had held on to it.

To Be Continued...

Author's Note

Thanks for all the reviews again! I keep telling myself that I shouldn't update so quickly so that I can rack more of 'em in (tee hee…), but oh well.

-Zelia Theb