Terra touched her tender cheels, "Why does she hate me so much?" she murmured to the wall.
"Because you betrayed us," the sullen girl's voice came from the rising shadows.
"I was lost-"
"No excuses, Terra. You-"
"-Did what I thought was right!"
"Trying to kill us was right?" Raven sat down at the end of the bed.
"He gave me a home. He told me he loved me..."
"Slade?" Raven's eyes widened.
"He told me he was the only one who understood my pain. Fed me some bull shit about how he'd never hurt me, yet pain was all I got from him," Terra glared at the girl across from her, "but I don't want your pity- I want your-"
"Trust is earned."
"-friendship," Terra said with force, "I just want to be able to be your friend."
"Then tell me why?"
"Why? Why what?"
"Why'd you do it? Why Slade?"
"Slade had spoken to me, he lied to me. He used my past against me," she closed her eyes, "The pain...the pleasure..." her eyes snapped open and she covered her opened mouth.
"Pleasure?" Raven stood up, "You're nothing but a whore and that's how you'll die."
And with that she left the room, her boots click on the way down the hall.
"It's true...." she whispered to the green figure entering the room, " I am a whore, aren't I?"
"Terra, no!" he hugged her, "You're anything but."
"I have no modest, no shame..."
"But you have your vi-"
"No," she shook her head, "No, I don't."
"But it's not your faul-"
"Yes!" She rasped out. She wanted to scream, rip apart the room with frustration.
Beastboy stood up, "Who?" he asked, his voice distorted with mixed emotion.
She opened her mouth, but was cut off.
Beastboy ran his finger down the scar on her chest, "Don't say it. I know who," his finger traced the delicate "s" before leaving the room.
Terra winced internally. His words cut her more than Slade ever did.
The pain was refreshing. It was like waking her up entirely.
She shook her head as morbid thoughts ran through her head. She could feel the blood pulsing through her wrists. Her eyes, glazed over in a dull gray, scanned the room for anything sharp.
They stopped on the dresser. The mirror box Beastboy had made her lay shattered on the wooden table.
That would give a message.
If he even cared.
She quickly stood up, picking up a glass shard. She let it touch the skin on her wrist, pausing- was this really the right way?
Her once-master had done it, why shouldn't she? This was something she could actually control. Her pain couldn't control her.
It wouldn't any longer.
She let it sink in, but not too deep. Just enought for the small, crimson bubbles to form across the cut.
Terra sighed, almost missing Slade.
Then she snapped back- Slade was a manipulative snake who used her.
Another cut.
He didn't want her- just like the others.
Criss. Cross. Red tears.
It felt good in a bad way.
She let the glass fall to the floor and climbed into bed, stripping of her clothes.
It scared her how aroused the pain made her, but in her mind she wasn't alone.
It was Slade tormenting her. Cutting her wrists, taking all of her.
A finger went in.
It was him, making her moan out in pain and pleasure until she climaxed, red and white....
Then black...all black...
‡‡‡
"Terra?" a voice purred.
"Ah! SLADE!" she sat up immediately. Her eyes opened, "Robin?"
She looked around the room and it was only Starfire, Robin and Cyborg.
"Why'd you do it, kid?" Cyborg asked softly.
"I was afraid..."
"Of what, my dear friend?" Starfire chimed in.
"Everything...." she let her eyes fall to the ground, "I don't know...something just came over me...I could feel him..." she shivered, her nipples hardening at the thought. Then she realised she was dressed in a robe, her wrists heavily bandaged.
"Let me help," Robin offered.
"You don't understand!" she shouted.
"I do- I was his apprentance once."
"You weren't there willingly. You weren't there because you thought you belonged."
"Do not linger in self-pity," Starfire said, her anger taking a hold, "It will not permit you to heal. It is done and over."
Terra remained silent, tired of everyone lecturing her.
"Get some rest," Cyborg said, giving her a quick smile.
If only Beastboy would come in and tell her it's alright.
She looked at the window- glass was sand and sand was earth....
Terra held out a open palm to the window. The frame glowed yellow as the glass hovered by her feet.
She put a foot on it, testing, then stood on it- her powers enchanced its strength. She shed the robe and pulled on the white dress and ducked out the window.
And again Terra was free.
"Ahaah!" she doubled over in pain, clutching her scar as she fell towards the ground.
She raised a hand and the glass shattered on the damp ground was replaced my a bigger, stronger clod of dirt. She sat on it as it zoomed out of town, gasping for breath.
Terra was weak, out-of-shape.
Finally she came to her destination- the cave she lived in, the cave she died in, the cave she had made love in- her home.
She picked up a piece of shattered stained glass. She'd built this cave with her own hands.
A stream was there, a make-shift bed was there. Then Slade moved in.
The stream was gone, a real bed fit for a queen, where things happened in the dark of the night.
She saw the bed was still there, like a stone statue.
Terra absentmindedly kicked a stone.
Anger took a hold of her- Slade took everything she had.
"I HATE YOU!" she yelled, the cave echoing her words, and with a small groan she pulled the bed apart, piece by piece, followed by cried of remorse.
"Terra...." a voice purred, "My dear Terra..."
"Slade?!" her voice was anger mingled with fright. She attacked the luming form only to realize it was her shadow.
"Terra," a soft, kind voice echoed.
"Beastboy?" Terra looked up, her face covered in tears and dirt.
"I'm sorry. You were confused and I udnerstand," he hugged her.
"Oh, BB..." she accepted the embrace fully.
Beastboy forced smiled; she felt so right in his arms- why did it feel wrong then?