:: II :: What Lies in the Heart
The next day the five - Cloud, Tifa, Barret, Elmyra and Marlene - travelled early with the Kalm miners to the Mythril Mines. The miners all seemed to know the safest way through the swamps without disturbing any of the feared Midgar Zoloms, so the group was quite safe.
"Not that we'd have had any trouble, even if we did encounter one of those monsters." Cloud said to himself. Barret stared at him.
"What do you mean?"
"Well, what with my sword skills and strength..." Cloud began slyly.
"I thought you'd given that up." Barret was wide-eyed.
"I like to keep up a little practice." Cloud shrugged. "Otherwise my body gets all sore."
"It does, you know," Tifa confirmed knowingly, with a secret little smile.
They passed without trouble through the shining Mythril Mines and marvelled awhile at its splendour. It seemed a bit strange at first to have none of the other two original members with them; and, surprisingly, it seemed a bit strange not to have any unpleasant encounters with the Turks!
After plenty of jokes from Barret about the 'old times', they finally made it back to normal ground. The next stop was to be Junon Harbour.
Never had a village looked so different. The once stifling, polluted town had almost been cleared up entirely of the rubbish and fumes, even though the town still rested in the shadow of the airport above.
"When we first came here," Barret was patiently telling his daughter, "the Shinra had left this place to rot in a layer of waste from Junon Airport. It was a sickening sight, I can tell you."
While Marlene had been listening with wide eyes, Cloud and Tifa were giggling at Barret's wild retellings.
"You know," Tifa smirked "I think Barret should write children's books."
They had been walking down the broadway, when a voice suddenly hailed them from a nearby house. Turning, Cloud saw that it was an old woman who had been calling to them. He recognised her at once.
"Forgive me, sir," she apologised breathlessly. "But I couldn't help but recognise you and some of the others in your party. We met last time you were here. It must have been about three years ago."
"Yes, I remember." Cloud nodded. "You thought I was from SOLDIER."
"That's right." The woman beamed. "Things have changed since then."
"You're tellin' me," Barret grinned.
"So," the woman continued, almost shyly, "how about having a place to stay for the night?"
"We'd love to," Cloud replied.
It was at noon that Cloud decided to take a breath of fresh air (and this time it really was fresh air!). He wandered down to the beach almost aimlessly, though this was only because he was deep in thought. Things had inevitably changed in the years that had passed since they had all come together last, and yet some things still seemed to be the same. It was very strange, yet Cloud knew it to be true. It was almost as if the Planet were trying to send a message to them, by repeating some of the things that had happened before.
Having reached these conclusions, Cloud was not surprised to see a faintly familiar figure in the distance as he turned the corner to the beach. The person was standing in the shallow end of the water, and beside her was the huge frame of a large, yet graceful-looking dolphin. Cloud walked down the soft sand and pebbles until he stood beside the young girl in the water.
"Hello." he said, simply.
The girl turned quickly, and as she looked at him, her eyes widened, and she blushed. She, too, had changed. She was much taller, and her chest and hips had filled out a little. She was pretty, in a regular, unexceptional sort of way, and she had a becoming sort of shyness about her.
"I seem to remember you, sir." she told him as she told him, as she looked him up and down with pale blue eyes.
"Yes. We met some years ago." Cloud answered smilingly. The girl's eyes opened wider.
"Mr. Cloud, is that really you?!"
"Just call me Cloud, Priscilla."
She grinned "All right, Cloud."
They turned back to look at the silvery dolphin prancing up and down amongst the waves. The beautiful creature seemed to canter almost playfully about the two, and Cloud fancied it recognised him.
"Is that Mr. Dolphin?" he asked. Priscilla laughed.
"Poor Mr. Dolphin died last year. This is his son."
"What do you call him, then?" Cloud asked jokingly. "Dolphin Junior?"
"I'm a bit too old to give them names now," she replied almost loftily. Cloud stifled a laugh, and nodded. He remembered the slippery, silky feel of the dolphin as he'd climbed on its back, and the unity he'd felt with nature in that magnificent moment. He savoured the memory until Priscilla broke the silence.
"Cloud, you saved my life," she said, not looking at him. "You don't know how much I'm grateful. Everyday the importance of what you did looms larger. Thank you so much."
"Oh, it was only a little thing I did for you," he replied a little wistfully.
"Little?" There was a testy note to her voice.
"You should have seen the other things I did," he sighed.
"You're a hero, Cloud," she said firmly.
"No, I'm not."
"Yes," she retorted, "you are."
He didn't like to contradict her.
"Cloud," she ventured after a short silence, "are you...married?"
He was half-shocked by the question. "Very nearly," he replied, unable to think of a way out of it.
"Oh." There was a sort of disappointment in her voice. She looked up. "Who is it? The girl with green eyes?"
Cloud began to laugh helplessly, and Priscilla was startled.
"What is it?"
He checked himself. "Oh nothing. No, it isn't her. I haven't seen her for a long time. It's the other girl. The one with brown hair."
"What's her name?"
"Tifa."
"Oh yes. I remember. Tifa."
Cloud looked carefully at the pretty-faced girl, and noticed that her lower lip was trembling. In a low voice, he tried to speak kindly to her.
"Priscilla, what's wrong?"
She said nothing for a long while; and then suddenly, she flung herself into his arms and buried her head into his chest.
"Oh Cloud." she wailed "Oh Cloud!"
He gently patted her head.
"It's all right, Priscilla. It's all right."
They were taken by boat to Costa del Sol the very next morning. The ride was long, and then the tropical heat waves suddenly appeared on the horizon from the distant landmass. They docked in at the bay, and walked out into the sweltering heat. As usual, the resort was buzzing with tourists, and as usual, the air-conditioning did nothing to fight off the heat.
"You don't know how happy I am to be back here," Tifa sighed, going off into transports of delight.
"I take it you're going off to the beach." Cloud spoke wryly.
"Why not?" Tifa rose an eyebrow at him. "Aren't you coming?"
"I think I'd better book a hotel room first," he said sarcastically.
"What a good idea," Barret added.
"Well I don't care," Tifa retorted. "I'm going."
With a toss of her dark hair, Tifa had turned and was walking back down the beach. Once she was out of earshot, Barret spoke.
"Does she often do that to you?" he asked Cloud curiously.
"It's a habit of women, I suppose," Cloud shrugged.
Barret shivered.
"You know, I'd almost forgotten what it feels like. Kinda makes me think twice 'bout gettin' married again."
"Why, were you planning to?" Cloud asked slyly.
Barret glared at him, in much the way he used to before.
"Shuddup, Cloud. You're the one who should be plannin' marriage, boy. I mean, you and Tifa are as thick as thieves together. You should be thinking about settling down with her for real."
"Can you imagine a person like me 'settling down' just like that?" he replied "It'll take me many long, hard years to shake down to normal. You see, I was born to be an adventurer. I was born to do stupid, crazy things."
"You're tellin' me," Barret said under his breath.
"He's right though, you know," Elmyra added.
Later on, after Tifa had finally returned after her evening bath to wash off the salt water of the day, Cloud informed her that he wouldn't mind going to the beach after all.
"What, when darkness is falling?! I've just had my shower you know!"
"It'll be a lot more peaceful at this time of the evening." Cloud informed her "All the tourists will be getting ready for bed."
"And so should we." Tifa returned crisply "It's no time for wandering down the beach."
"Why not? We'll have the whole place to ourselves."
Unsurprisingly, this observation changed Tifa's attitude drastically. It was not long before they were both standing bare foot on the warm, wet carpet of sand, gazing out over the sea to the last flicker of orange light in the distance. The stars were already beginning to peep out from the slowly blackening sky.
"Do you still wonder if the stars can hear us?" Cloud asked her, as they sat down on a low slope of sea-grass and sand granules.
"It's funny you should ask." Tifa replied airily, "I was just wondering exactly that."
"I thought you might be."
"So, Cloud," she said after a short silence during which the sun had disappeared behind the ocean "are you having any regrets about this so far?"
He thought about it for a while, then shook his head.
"No. It's been all right so far. In fact, it's actually been pretty good. It's true that it's brought back all those painful memories, but they're kind of...What's the word...?"
"Bittersweet." Tifa supplied. "Yes, I know the feeling."
There was another quiet, and no sound could be heard, except for the soft swishing of the indigo waves at their feet. Then Tifa spoke again, a long finger curling a lock of her chestnut brown hair.
"Cloud," her voice was very small and tiny "do you love me?"
He decided that she was being playful with him.
"Of course I do!" he cried, almost depreciatingly. She stared up at him, and her face was serious.
"No, I mean, do you really love me?"
He gazed back at her, wondering about her question and how he should answer it.
"Yes." he answered finally. "I do."
"Really?" she persisted, her voice quite earnest, but not pleading.
"Yes." he repeated. "Why? Are you worried about something?"
"No. It's just that it's nice to hear you say it once in a while."
"Oh, come on, Tifa, do you expect me to buy that?"
She passed him a wry grin "I guess you know me better than I thought you did."
"Of course." he replied as patiently as he could "Now tell me what's on your mind."
"It's just that..." she exhaled slowly, and seemed to be thinking about her words carefully "sometimes I wonder if what you feel for me is as complete as it should be."
"What do you mean 'complete'?" he was genuinely puzzled.
"Well, you see," she hunched her knees up to her chest, "sometimes it feels as if you only love me as second-best."
He stared at her in disbelief.
"Tifa, that's a horrible thing to say!"
"But it's true, isn't it?"
Cloud was still in a state of momentary shock. He managed to shake his head. "No, it isn't. What made you think that?"
Tifa bit her lip and looked out to sea.
"When we last went to the City of the Ancients, you said you saw her again.
I know it sounds stupid, but if she's alive then...I'm afraid that..."
"So that's what this is all about." Cloud murmured half sulkily.
"Why, aren't my feelings justified?" Tifa probed him.
Cloud picked up a nearby pebble and threw it into the sea. The ripples shattered the image of a perfectly pearly reflection of a full moon, then were eaten up by the waves.
"Maybe." he finally replied.
"Maybe?"
"Yes...it's hard to say." He felt suddenly cold, and it was as though the temperature had suddenly dropped. "Yes, she's still alive and I still love her, in a way. But if I ever saw her again..." he lowered his head, "...I think we'd have changed too much to feel anything meaningful for each other anymore. What I feel for her is an emotion locked in a past self that no longer exists. And she probably feels the same way too. Do you understand that?"
"I think so," she replied, and her voice was very quiet.
Cloud remained silent. It had cost him a lot to say all that he had, and he wasn't too keen to elaborate on it. He could find no words to explain the relationship he had had, and still had, with that enigmatic girl, for it was, in truth, still a sort of mysterious relationship that they shared.
Tifa suddenly moving to lean against his shoulder interrupted his thoughts, and he could feel her soft hair on his cheek as she spoke.
"I know you can't feel the same for both her and I," she whispered, a hint of sadness in her voice. "But I forgive you."
Feeling peculiar about it, Cloud was touched by her words. Reaching out an arm, he drew her to him and kissed her softly. She clung to his jacket hard, and he noticed that she shivered a little. Yes, it was getting a little too cold for comfort. When at last they broke free from each other, Cloud found her arms even more tantalising in their welcoming warmth.
"It's hard to believe that we hardly knew each other, even in the old days," he mused to himself as he held her tight to him.
"What made you say that?" she asked, her breath on his neck.
"I don't know. I never used to know you, and it's strange, that's all."
"You do now, and that's all that matters," she replied.
"I suppose you're right," he conceded.
Much later, and when it was even darker, Cloud pulled away from Tifa's arms, kissed her, and realised he didn't want to stop.
Barret had been in a jumpy mood for some time now, and this failed to improve as the small company travelled from the tropical resort and through the soaring mountain range towards Corel. In fact, his frame of mind seemed to worsen. He refused to stop talking, and kept his companions in fits of annoyance during the whole trip down to the newly built village.
It was high noon by the time that they arrived in Corel. It still remained in its small valley a little way from Mount Corel, and still the welcoming smoke-trails exuded from the new homes. Cloud was amazed at the difference nearly three years and Barret's handiwork had given the old coal-mining town. The whole site looked brand-new, and nothing seemed to resemble anything of the previous Corel. Small, yet neatly bricked and inviting houses were scattered round about on the golden, sunburnt surface. Children ran about with smiling faces, men walked about with their tools with expressions of complete contentment, and the village elders sat, watching over their new town with satisfaction in their bright eyes.
"Wow, this place has sure been given a face-lift," Cloud murmured, looking about in amazement. Barret looked proudly at the others.
"Beautiful, isn't it?" he grinned "A lot of hard work's gone into this little baby."
" 'Little baby' you call it?" Tifa repeated, amused.
Barret shrugged modestly "Well, it's been growing as slowly and steadily as one." he turned round to pick up his young daughter, and tenderly placed her on his broad shoulder "Well, Marlene, this is our home, our real home. Kinda makes me proud to be givin' you a place like this at last."
Marlene gazed down at him with gentle eyes.
"I love you, daddy," she whispered, and kissed his head neatly.
Elmyra too had been jittery ever since she had arrived in Corel. Cloud, sensing this, and even expecting it all along, avoided her , hoping not to provoke her mood even further.
"It's wonderful, Barret!" she enthused after an evening walk through the village. "A work of art!"
Barret beamed proudly, but said nothing.
Cloud took a look round at the now picturesque setting of Corel, musing at its resemblance to an old Western-style homestead. In the distance, the sun was setting behind a tawny desert mountain, filling the earth with its last vestige of warmth.
"I take it Corel is going back to its roots," Cloud said to Barret.
"Yup," the bigger man agreed. "It's back to coal-mining for Corel. You wouldn't believe the demand for the stuff after Reeve's Mako-reduction plan. Corel's gonna be doin' well now, I'm glad to say."
"Dyne would be pleased," Tifa said, after a momentary pause.
"Yeah." Barret nodded, and his eyes were faraway. "Dyne would be so happy to see Corel like this at last."
About an hour later, while Elmyra was seeing Marlene off to bed, and while Tifa was enjoying one of her daily showers, Cloud and Barret went out on to the veranda of Barret's ranch-style house, and watched the crested eagles flying back home across the peaks of Mount Corel against the indigo sky.
"Kinda makes me sad, you know Cloud." Barret sighed, after a long silence during which they'd been taking in the nighttime scenery. Cloud turned to gaze at him questioningly.
"What does?"
"All this. Corel." The large man sighed again, picked up a small pebble nearby, and threw it into the distance. When it landed, Cloud could not see it for the darkness. Barret continued slowly "I suppose it's just that all the others - Myrna, Dyne, Eleanor - they've never got to see any of this...they never will. All my sorries have come a little too late."
"Better late than never." Cloud quoted softly.
"Yeah, well," Barret replied sombrely. "It's time I did somethin' for them anyways. You don't know how guilty I've been feelin' inside myself for all these years. Kinda scary when you think about it."
Cloud nodded sympathetically, then decided that he'd ask a question he wouldn't normally have dared to.
"Barret," he began carefully "can you tell me what's going on between you and Elmyra?"
Surprisingly, Barret didn't even flinch.
"Elmyra and me?" he grinned a little "Well, let's see...I like her, and she likes me, and that's about all there is to it."
Cloud raised an eyebrow "All there is to it? Barret...?"
"Okay, okay!" the older man looked a little defensive. "Look, I like Elmyra a lot and I've been planning to propose to her. Satisfied?"
Cloud was astonished for a moment; then he gave Barret a slap on the back.
"Barret! I wouldn't have thought it of you! You sneaky devil!"
"Hey, this is serious!" Barret rebuked him "No need to make it into a big joke!"
"Now you're sounding like Cid." Cloud remarked comically, then he turned more pensive "So what made you decide?"
Barret shrugged and continued to look out on to the horizon.
"Several reasons really, including the obvious ones. The truth is, Cloud, I sorta miss havin' a woman around, and Marlene needs a mother: and as luck would have it, she seems kind of attached to Elmyra. I know that Myrna would have wanted me to marry again, if it would give me happiness..." he exhaled, and there was sadness on his face "I've thought about it, and the more I do, the more it makes sense. Elmyra and I need each other. She's been pretty cut up after losin' Aeris, and I need to make a fresh start. So..."
He gave Cloud a look that suggested finality, and the younger nodded. Barret was right. He and Elmyra did need each other.
Elmyra refused to move on with the others, even though Cloud knew that she did not like to be parted from Barret.
"I'd rather stay with Marlene in Corel." she insisted "I don't think I could bear going on this 'excursion' of yours - not now anyway."
One and all understood why Elmyra would give up the trip, even if it meant giving up being with Barret.
"You will join us in the City of the Ancients later on?" Barret asked her eagerly.
"We'll see," she finally said, and that was that.
Next: The return of Reeve/Cait Sith, and Cloud comes to terms with a part of his past…