Okay, this post sucks! I don't like it... Ahhhh

But it's here then.. sorry for posting so late!

Post 55

"Reine are you okay?" Asked Sirius.

"What? Yes... I guess..." I murmured. I looked down and didn't mention it until I saw her again. And that disturbing feeling in my heart heightened. Maybe... She looked a lot like... Could it be?

Her hair was a copper brown streaked occasionally with white, and slightly curly. She was around her early forties, with a special twinkle in her eyes every time she laughed. I watched her surreptitiously when all of us were hanging out in the living room.

I realized I had to get it out of my mind, or I'll go crazy.

"Sirius... who's that woman?" I asked looking over towards her.

Sirius frowned slightly and shrugged. "Not sure... a member of the Order I guess."

"Would James know her name?"

"Possibly..." he replied.

I nodded and headed towards James who was hanging out with Lily. She had arrived earlier that morning and James had had her with him the whole time.

"James?"

He turned around and grinned. "Yeah?"

"Do you know who that woman is? Just there..." I said.

"Hmm... I think that's Marlene Garner," she replied. "Why?"

"Marlene?"

"Yeah, if I'm not mistaken..."

That name struck against my heart like a dart. Marlene. My mother. Could it be her? But father said she had passed away. He couldn't have lied to me... could he? Why would he anyway? Or maybe it was someone else named Marlene. Many people were named Marlene, I was sure.

But she did look an awful lot like the pictures of my mother. Just older. But I couldn't really be sure. I wondered if I should ask her. And make a fool of myself... My head was reeling with thoughts. Mother was dead... how could she be here? Or maybe, a hopeful thought struck me... or maybe she never was dead.

The whole day, my mind was reeling with thoughts. What should I do? I can't just go up to her and say 'Hello, are you my mother?'. No, she'd think I was crazy! But she'd be going back tonight... and I might never ever see her again.

That made up my mind. It was now or never. Anyway, if she wasn't, then I could just lock myself in my room until everyone leaves. I took a deep breath, heart drumming against my chest, I lifted myself from the seat and walked over to her. Armed with a plan, which was to casually create conversation and then tell her my name, I strode over to her.

"Hello," I said meekly. She turned around and her eyes twinkled as she smiled.

"Well, hello," she replied, still smiling as broad as ever.

"How are you tonight?"

"Good," she replied, nodding slightly. "You?"

"I'm just great," I replied nervously. "I'm Reine McKinnon."

"Oh, well, my name is er... Marlene," she faltered with a smile.

I tried to look at her but she had turned away. She headed towards the bowl of fruit punch and poured a cup for herself. I followed her.

"Um..." I started tensely but she suddenly whipped around and fixed with me anxious eyes.

"Reine?" She asked anxiously, her voice weak. I looked back at her. "Is... is it really you?"

"Mother?" I gulped.

And then suddenly she wrapped her arms tight around me. Feeling shocked for just a moment, I felt the emotions taking over me. My eyes suddenly became wet with tears as I held her for the first time in 17 years. We hugged each other tight, all those years without each other all trying to fill into this short space of time.

"Why did you leave us, Mother?" I sniffled as we finally let go.

She wiped a tear from her eye and smiled. "There's so much for us to talk about..." she choked putting a hand around my shoulder.

We went into a quiet corner by the window and sat down on the sofa.

"I can't believe it's really you," I whispered, just looking at her.

She smiled and reached out a hand to tuck a stray strand of hair behind my ear. "My darling child... you've grown up to be so beautiful..."

"Why did you leave us?" I asked again.

"I'm surprised your father hasn't told you that yet," she replied, looking away and her voice getting slightly cold.

"He did... I just wanted to know you're side of the story."

"I was young... and I had just had you for a few weeks then... when we started living together, I found out about his late night wanderings. I found out he was a Death Eater. I couldn't take it. We argued when I confronted him about it. That's when we decided to go our separate ways."

"Why didn't you take me with you?"

"The thought of raising a daughter by myself frightened me so," she said. "I couldn't do it."

"You never thought of coming back?"

"Well sure I did... you didn't know how bad I wanted to see you... but something just held me back and finally I just let it go," she replied sadly.

"But why did father tell me you were dead...?"

She looked down at her fingers. "We promised not to see each other anymore... He probably doesn't want you to know I'm still here."

"I really needed a mother..." I told her. "Father... well, he hasn't been the most loving of parents. We got into a fight."

"Why?"

"You see, father is forcing me to marry someone I don't love," I said.

She frowned.

"How can he do that?"

"He's obsessed with his career. Always have been. My whole life."

"Sorry to hear that darling... but there's nothing I can do..."

"Why don't you and father meet again?" I asked hopefully.

She gave a weak laugh and looked away. "It won't work."

"Please... give it a try," I begged. "For me."

"We've sworn to go our own separate ways."

I realized there was nothing I could do to bring them back together.

"Listen, I have to go soon," she said suddenly. "It's been like a miracle meeting you finally... keep in touch."

And she was gone before I knew it. I wished we could've talked more. There's so much I wanted to know, so much to ask.