A/N: In the previous chapter I had Jean thinking that it was her fault she was raped. I do NOT agree with this. I put this in because the victims often blame themselves as I know too well. I think men who rape should be shot (just to clarify that) I also know that victims often get angry with everyone because they can't be angry at the attacker, Jean will be a little bit more bitchy in this story.

Chapter 3

Jean entered the dinning room cautiously, stopping for a moment by the door to watch her friends and the students, most of whom had become friends to her also, interacting with one another. Everyone seemed so happy, no one could guess looking upon such a scene that there was such evil in the world. Spotting an empty chair beside professor Xavier, Jean slid into it and turned to the older man preparing herself to take up the mindless chit chat she had become accustomed to since the attack. She could no longer open up to anyone, not even the one person she normally told everything, the person she had come to think of as a father figure. She had even put up a mental barrier that would deter Charles, even if it would not stop him if he really wanted to read her mind, it would dissuade him. And the Professor would not go into her mind if she had put a barrier up. It was a clear signal to all telepaths that this person does not want their minds read.

As Jean settled into the topic of anti mutant rallies, that were springing up all over the country, with the Professor, she caught Storm looking at her from across the room. Storm's face, that had shown her emotion of worry, quickly went blank and she turned to carry on a conversation with Rogue.

Shit! She saw the knife didn't she? She knows! No, calm down Jean, she can't know what your going through no one does! Silly bitch! She thinks she can read my mind? I'm the damn telepath!

As Jean became more and more wound up Storm's napkin, that Jean was staring at, started to shake. It moved so very slightly. Storm's eyes shot to the napkin, and then straight to Jean's eyes. Looking straight into those deep brown eyes, Jean's rush of thoughts stopped and the napkin became still.

"Jean? Jean?" The Professors voice broke though her thoughts and she snapped her head around to face him.

"Are you already Jean? You seem a million miles away." That look of pity that Jean despised so much crossed the Professors face. Feeling sick again Jean knew she needed to get out there.

"I'm fine, really I'm." How many times was she going to have to say that and not mean it?

"I'm just a bit tired I guess, I'll be fine, I think I might go for a walk actually." Jean had managed to control her emotions enough to cover her face with a fake smile. As Jean stood up the Professor laid one hand on hers.

"If you need any time off, just tell me. You've been working harder than anyone these past 2 weeks." He patted her hand reassuringly.

"No, no I'll be fine." The last thing she needed was more time to think.

"I'll just go and get some fresh air, I'll be fine really!" And keeping the big, fake smile on her face she raced out of the room.

The Professor looked across at Storm and shared a worried look with her, both looked down at the plate full of Jean's untouched meal, and back up to each other, worry lines deep in both foreheads. They both sighed and turned away to their own conversations. Both deciding they would wait to see if there was anything they could do to help Jean.

As Jean wandered across the silent gardens, her mind wandered back to the object in her room, the object she was trying hardest to not think about. Why had she taken it? What was she going to do with it? She was still not sure she had the courage to go through with what the knife showed her mind when she picked it up. Would fear win and she would go on living this hateful life in the hope that this feeling of being violated would fade? Or would she take that step to end it all?

God! I'm so confused!

Fin

So there you have it, the third chapter of my story. I have now decided that Scott will be in it, but only as a friend for the simple fact that I don't think Jean would be feeling all that romantic at this moment, giving the circum stances, and I want for her to be able to keep it a secret from everyone. This would be hard if she couldn't bare Scott touching her. Does that make any sense? Please complain if I'm doing some thing wrong, but sorry I just can't make Scott her saviour, he annoys me too much! hides before all the Scott lovers come and beat me up!