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Post 66

"Dance?" I asked.

"I don't know how to, really..."

"Come on, everyone in the magical world knows this dance!"

"I'm not good at it..."

"Follow the rest, c'mon!"

I pulled him roughly towards the couples dancing all in sync to the faint magical tune of Cavatina. The girls unwound themselves from their dates' arms and twirled as they slid gracefully across the dance floor.

I joined in and jumped into the next step. I turned around once and raised my arm for him to take it. He didn't, so I grabbed his hand instead. I stepped out once, then in and spun him and myself in a circle.

"Come on, Sirius," I urged, grinning as I glided one step out into a turn and he stood stock still. "You turn now."

He turned hesitantly, just like I did. I raised my arm, still holding his and swept my other arm out then twirled myself in until I wrapped myself around his arms.

"Please, Sirius... for me?" I begged with a smile.

"Oh well..." He sighed, giving in. I grinned as I stepped out and took a large step to the right, as he did to his right, hands still connected, one over and behind our necks, and slid three steps in a circle. Then we moved closer to each other and stepped swayed slowly around. Three steps left... and turn... three to the right... and turn... then we swung our arms outwards, two turns later, I was back in the embrace of his arms.

"See? You could do it after all," I grinned.

He smiled back, shrugging.

I felt a certain tranquility that I've never really felt before. And the longer the time since Harry had left, the less I remembered about him. Strange.

But a thought bugged me... father.

"What happens after we graduate?" I asked Sirius conversationally.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean my father."

"Oh..." said Sirius with a note of dejection in his voice.

"Maybe I can make him realize that we're in love?"

"Like he'd care."

As horrible as the truth might sound, I knew he was right.

"I could threaten to kill myself," I suggested half jokingly.

Sirius looked at me probably trying to tell whether I was serious or not.

"Well no, maybe not..." I said my voice lowered. "He is not a man of his word. Whatever happens, do take care around him..." I pleaded.

"What's the most he could do?" Scoffed Sirius.

"Sirius, you've already seen what he could do." I said seriously with a face to tell him that I wasn't joking. "Sirius... He was a Death Eater," I said in a whisper.

"What?"

"That was why... why Voldemort took me," I said. "He wants to kill my father. Because he betrayed him. He stopped being a Death Eater but I doubt the Death Eater in him is truly gone..."

"Clearly..." muttered Sirius under his breath.

"So I'm trying to get you out of his way."

"You think he's going to murder me?" Sirius asked incredulously, as though such a thing was so impossible.

"Well, he might! A desperate attempt to pull us apart!"

"He'd be arrested."

"You'd be very surprised to know what a whole lot of gallions can do, and he has that."

"Alright fine," said Sirius resigning. "I don't want to talk about him anymore... Do you wanna go out to the garden?"

"We can go out?"

"Sure, a ball is not a ball if you don't go out to the dark rose bushes to make out!"

"What?"

"Nah, I'm joking..." he laughed. "No wait, actually not really..."

But he was already pulling me through the crowd of people and soon we were out through the great double doors. We walked out through the lonely corridors of the courtyard and walked towards the garden under the perfectly cloudless sky that was scattered with millions of winking stars.

The garden, which I had never been to before, was the most magical garden I've ever seen. A crooked path swerved and snaked through the bushes and bushes of roses, patches of daisies and carnations that were probably charmed to bloom the whole year. Several moving lights were zipping from one flower to another. Fairies. A few couples were seated on benches scattered around.

"It's beautiful," I crooned as I took in the sight of it.

"Isn't it? Especially at night."

"Wow," I gaped in awe as we sauntered leisurely along the path. "I never knew it was this beautiful... I would've gone here more often."

"Well... it's not always this beautiful... the fairies are just let loose here for Valentine's... and the flowers can't really be seen in the dark. I would've brought you here just now if it wasn't for... some things," he said. Which brought me to remember Remus' diary. I had a feeling I should tell him. After all, we have no secrets right? And I needed to get the guilty feeling out of my chest.

"About Remus' diary..." I started but Sirius interjected almost immediately.

"How did you know about his diary?"

"Um... well, I found it."

"You did? Did you... read it?" he asked carefully.

"Well..." Say no, say no, cried one part of me. Diaries are private, what would he think if you read it? A nosy, conniving Slytherin? Furthermore, its contents weren't the usual recordings of daily activity you see in most diaries... I can't admit it. I can't... "Yes."

"You what?!" he asked in shock.

"I'm sorry!" I said quickly and looked up at him expectantly and hopefully.

"So you know..."

"Remus is... a werewolf..."

We settled on an empty bench that was surrounded by pink and white fluffy carnations. I settled comfortably in his arms, just enjoying the moment.

"You can't tell anyone..." he warned.

"I won't! Of course, I won't," I said truthfully. "Poor Remus..."

"Yes..."

"I won't breathe a word..." I promised. "I kept the diary locked in my trunk. I'd return it tomorrow..."

"Okay," said Sirius with a sigh. Of relief?

"Why don't you like Harry much?" I asked, changing the subject.

Sirius frowned as he thought for a while. "Who's Harry?"

I too furrowed my eyebrows in concentration. Who was he? Why did I bring up a subject about someone I didn't know? I didn't seem to have any memory about this boy, whoever he was.

"Uh..." I whispered slowly. "I dunno...really... I thought- It was just at the back of my mind... I knew- but then I sort of forgot-."

Suddenly, his lips locked with mine, soft and sweet at first, probably eager to stop my ranting. I could feel his warm breaths against my cheek as his hands caressed my shoulders gently like a passing wind.

I wound my arms around his neck and deepened the kiss. His kisses had always been soft, but it seemed to have a new fervor now. Seemed more passionate... filled with more desire? I was unsure but I felt wanted more than I ever felt before. Someone in this world actually cared for me.

Other than the house elves at home.

We broke away. I suddenly felt overwhelmed with feelings. Happy at the thought that I was loved for once in my life... but mingling with the growing depression that my father never could give me this feeling. And he never will. Devastated at the life I could have had, but didn't have. The wasted years of my childhood, which should have been the sweetest moments of my life, spent alone in a large empty mansion that was never a home... it was just a house. And when I spoke, my voice was hoarse and frightened. "I-I'm cold."

"Maybe we should go back?" He asked warmly, and I could sense too his anxiety.

I nodded stiffly and his arm slowly, very slowly extended invitingly, yet cautiously. I took it and with a soft smile, he brought me away. As we walked back, silence fell upon us again and I caught myself drifting wherever Sirius took me, not concentrating exactly of going back to the Entrance Hall. Half my mind focused on walking while the other was lost in thought.

"I'm sorry," I said softly.

"For what?"

"Everything."

I didn't think he knew what everything was. Everything was about me, my confused feelings, my father and all my problems that were now his. But he simply kept quiet.

I stared at the sandy stoned path as we trudged back into the welcoming golden light that was shimmering through a small gap in the great double doors. It had just started to drizzle when we stepped in. I felt much warmer now and the strange tingles had all faded away now though the shadow of his fingers still seemed to linger.

Not feeling like I wanted to eat and dance some more, I said, "I think I'll turn in for the night."

Sirius nodded. "Right... I'll bring you to your common room?"

I nodded vaguely and we headed left down a flight of stone gray steps and through an iron gate which was the entrance to the dungeons. We walked in the deathly silence down a large chamber where the walls were sticky with slime and down a set of spiral steps.

And suddenly a scream pierced the air.