Chapter Fourteen: Dinner for Nine & Tobasco Sauce of Death

Will and Riley stood in the parking garage, looking at Robbie's car. "Dang that thing's nice," said Riley.

Indeed it was. It was a red, year-old corvette convertible. Robbie's baby, as he called it.

"Oh yeah," said Will, gazing at it in admiration. "Are you sure he wanted us to take it?"

"He said so himself, we've just got to be REALLY careful not to even put a tiny smudge on it. Believe me, he'll know. He'll spend hours in here cleaning it." There was a pause. "Well, let's get in," said Riley.

They did and followed the directions on the map to Robbie's cabin. During the car ride they hardly spoke at all. We're talking, like, a three-hour car ride upstate and about ten words total. Talk about an exciting ride. The only stop they made was to get some food for the cabin so as not to eat the sick, moldy, expired food that Robbie had no doubt left in there. They trudged into the cabin and threw the bags down on the counter, then Riley took a look around.

It wasn't so bad as she had predicted. Nice paint job, nice furniture, nice space; it wasn't small and cramped. But a blush started to creep up her face as she realized that there was only one bed, and it was big.

"Riley?" she heard Will call. She quickly walked out of the room and into the kitchen where Will was waiting. "Come on," he said. "Let's go for a walk."

"No way, Will, I've got a better idea. Let's go for a picnic. It's 6:00, I we haven't eaten, and I don't know about you but I'm about to eat the couch if I don't get some food soon."

Will grinned. "All right, let's go for a picnic."

…

Ten minutes later they were walking outside, Riley carrying the basket and Will chose a spot in a clearing in the woods outside the house. They spread out the blanket and were just about to get the food out when they heard a twig snap. Will looked up.

"Did you hear that?" he whispered.

"Yeah… and that didn't sound like an animal walking to me…"

Then, out of the clearing, armed with swords, stepped seven pirates, each with menacing grins of satisfaction on their faces.

"Uh, Will?" Riley asked, the pair of them standing up, not looking at each other. "Where's your sword and hatchet?"

Will didn't reply. She glanced at him. "In the house, with the rest of our stuff…" Her eyes widened. "But," he said quickly. "No need to worry," he gave a nervous laugh. "There's plenty of food for EVERYONE!"

With that, he grabbed the first thing his hand touched out of the picnic basket. He grinned when he saw what it was. Tobasco sauce. Bingo.

One pirate came charging at him. Will squirted it right at his face, hitting him straight in the eyes. He staggered backwards and dropped its sword, running around the clearing like a scared little newborn pony. "AAAAAAHHHH! MY EYES! I'M BLIND!" Will grabbed the pirate's sword and ran forward, tossing the tobasco sauce to Riley, who caught it, staring dumb-struck at what was happening.

The rest of the pirates all came charging at the pair of them, Will stabbing one in the stomach. He fell to the ground and burst into flame, then disappearing into a pile of ash, Will guessing that they went back to his time where they belonged. Another leaped in front of him and they started to duel with each other. The remaining four came onto Riley, who was still standing at the same place she had been when the fight began. All that was running through her mind now was Oh shit I'm going to die! Kick the bucket! Cash in! Snuff it!

"RILEY!" Will cried. This brought her back to reality. He gave a few more thrusts and killed his opponent, then literally leaping through the air and landing on top of one pirate advancing on Riley. She couldn't help but sigh. Hunky blacksmith with hair flying everywhere and fighting like no tomorrow really turned her on. "Use – what's – in – your – hand!" Will said, pausing between each word to punch the pirate below him.

She looked down at what was in her hand. The tobasco sauce. She looked back up at the three. "AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!" she yelled, squirting with all she had in her. Two she hit in the eyes, but before she could even get to the third one, the small bottle ran out. Uh oh. Curse her aim. The two she left for Will, but the other one was advancing on her. She was still holding the now useless bottle when she realized what they were both standing on. The picnic blanket.

She quickly backed off it and the pulled as hard as she could on the opposite end. The pirate flew back only to land on his own sword and die, going poof in a flame. However, when Riley had pulled the blanket up, the basket, still full of food went flying up. She looked up just in time to have the fruit salad smush into her face. The refried beans and guacamole for the tacos flew in the opposite direction and got Will.

"What the…" he muttered to himself. He put his finger in the glob of guacamole and tasted it. "Not bad," he said to himself as the last pirate came charging at him. His eyes widened and he snapped back and stabbed him. Geez this idiot must be a rookie, but then again, he did have tobasco sauce in his eyes. Rule number one about swordplay: Never hold your sword high above your head, revealing your stomach and chest as an open target.

When Will stabbed the pirate, he got too close, and when he burst into flame, it caught his arm. "AAAAAH!" he yelled out in pain.

Riley looked over, their jobs done, the pirates gone. "WILL!" she yelled back, running over to his side.

"It got me…" he said. "The flame…"

"Come on," she said, putting her arm around his waist. "Let's go back to the cabin and fix it up."

…

HOLEY MOLEY THAT'S A LOT TO DEAL WITH! Sheesh! Fun to write though, and hey, who needs sleep anyway? Okay now people, you KNOW what I'm going to say next, and you KNOW you want to… REVIEW and make my day! :D