A/N: Well. 4th chapter. Woohoo. Read it. Review it. Thanks.
Hermione sat at a table by a snow-covered window in the corner of the common room. She watched the drifting snowflakes as they tapped against the windowpane and slid down, melting as they touched the heated glass. She wished more than anything she could be one of those bunches of ice crystals. Hurling herself without a purpose towards the slick surface without direction or a plan for the future. It seemed like a simple life free from any of the cares she felt now, free from worries about the Arithmancy test she had the next day, free from the things she felt, all the emotions that tore through her heart every day.
Why was love invented? It seemed like the only thing it ever brought was confusion. She brushed a stray strand of hair out of her eyes. That day in class, she had looked at Malfoy, and at that moment, she realized that he would never lover her like she loved him. She knew it deep inside her heart, deep inside her brain. It was the deepest truth and she knew it like she knew her own heart. It was like the ringing of the school bell, clear and firm, the ringing of the truth.
The knowledge stung her soul. It was like poison had been placed there and she had just now discovered its presence there. Even as she sat staring out the window, she felt her soul shriveling into a creature that she couldn't name, that she didn't want to name. She stared down at her fingers as they rested in her lap. They looked dead, curled around each other. She could not stand to look at any part of herself.
She stared at the unopened envelope lying on her lap, addressed to her in that same cursive that she had come to love. It was pointless, really, to hope that it was from Malfoy...after all, she had just figured out that he was in love with another – and she wished him and Parvati the best, however much it hurt her to admit that she was not the object of his affections. She had seen him and Parvati off in a corner, giggling over something and she had brushed it off as something pertaining to school. Then in class, when Parvati had sat down next to Malfoy, and he had looked at her with the same longing that Hermione felt every time she looked at Draco, Hermione had realized that her fantasies were just that – fantasies. Draco had looked up at Hermione with only mild indifference yet when he turned to look at Parvati, there was something deeper there.
Parvati had deserted her best friend Lavender, to sit next to the most loathed Slytherin 6th year. There was something more there than a harmless friendship. Hermione stared once more at the window and saw the reflection of the fireplace floating on the frosted glass. She felt her fingers stiffen around the envelope as she tore it in half, into quarters, into eighths and she let the pieces float to the floor. She let her heart float down and down and down among the pieces of hopeful paper. Her heart landed on the cold ground and only she saw it drift to the snowy bottom of her soul. No one was there to pick it up, except for her, and she couldn't be bothered to pick up the remains of her tattered dreams just now. She watched the drifting snowflakes as they tapped against the windowpane.