Wow thanks for all the great reviews! Who knew all my silliness would be so
enjoyablet. One of you asked what I was on when I wrote this and my answer
is absolutely nothing, yeah scary I know. I actually think these things up
when I drive to and from work.
So I hope you enjoy this new installment, it's a bit odd, and Alucard acts a bit childish but I still think it's funny!
Read Enjoy Review!
Alucard quietly shut the door behind him, and crept down the stairs. Just as he was at the bottom, he heard light footsteps walking down the hall on the floor above him. Melting into the shadows, he waited until he heard the door open, and close above.
What he had done was wrong....horribly, horribly wrong.
Once he was sure the coast was clear he re-appeared, and walked down the hallway towards the basement. The further away he was when things went down the better....
***
Integral sat down in her chair, she had been in meetings all day. She was tired, and in desperate need of a break. Propping her feet up on her desk, she took a deep breath, and lit one of her cigars.
She inhaled deeply, enjoying her addiction.
***
Alucard was halfway down the hallway, when he ran into Walter. On any other day Walter was always good for a nice chat to pass the time. But today was not that day.
"Hello Alucard, I'm glad I ran into you. I've been looking for you I wanted to tell-"
"Can we talk later Walter, I'm actually very busy I-" Alucard tried getting passed him, but Walter stood his ground.
"It is very important that I speak with you, it's about a new weapon I've been designing. I'd like to get your opinion on it if I may."
Alucard nodded, "Sure Walter, but not now I really have to go-"
KABLAMM!! Ahhhhh!
What sounded like a small explosion came from the second floor. Walter was sure it was another invasion. He turned towards Alucard.
"Alucard, you must...."
Alucard had vanished. Walter quickly made his way to the second floor, expecting Alucard to already be at the scene protecting his master.
"It must be a hit of some sort." Walter thought to himself. Sir Integral had, had a few assassination attempt made on her through the years. He hoped that once again luck would be with her, and she would be unscathed.
He opened the door, and walked into a thinning cloud of light smoke. Integral's chair was turned away from him. Walter feared the worst.
"Sir Integral?" he paused, "are you all right?"
Slowly, the chair turned around. Walter's jaw dropped.
"Sir Integral! What happened?"
***
Seras Victoria was on her bed, lazily flipping through a magazine. She barely batted an eyelash when her Master slammed the door to her room. She glanced up at him, and gave him a "what is it now" look.
He giggled maniacally, and slapped a hand over his mouth, trying to suppress his crazed laughter.
Seras went back to her magazine, completely unphased.
A few seconds ticked by before Alucard heard the doors slamming upstairs.
"ALUCARD! You fucking corpse, don't you dare hide from me! I swear I'll kill you when I find you!" Integral screamed.
Alucard clutched his sides, trying to hold in his laughter.
"I told you not to do that Master." Seras said, still reading her magazine.
Integral was barreling down the stairs now, with Walter following behind her. She knew he wouldn't be dumb enough to hide in his own room. But maybe in his little pets room. She banged on Seras' door.
Seras pushed the still laughing Alucard out of the way and opened it. Never in her life (or un-life) did she every dream of seeing what stood before her.
Integral stood in the doorway, covered in black soot. Her glasses were still firmly pressed to her head, but the lenses had been shattered. Her once pristine blonde hair, flailed out in all directions and the ends were slightly singed.
Seras was about to pleaded her innocence, but was abruptly pushed aside. Integral stepped towards Alucard, who at seeing his dishelved master burst out into cackling fits of laughter.
"Is this a new look Master?" he snickered.
Integral was livid. She gritted her teeth, and cocked the gun she had carried down with her.
"Now Sir Integral lets not do anything brash" Walter chirped , trying to be the voice of reason.
Integral ignored Walters pleads for proper decorum, and raised her gun shooting Alucard right between the eyes. He dropped into a heap of blood, and red fabric, his cheshire cat grin still glued to his face.
With that Integral holstered her gun, turned, and left a very stunned Seras behind.
Seras stood beside her Master, and tapped him with her foot, "She's gone you can come back now."
Slowly, Alucard pulled himself back together, the hole in his head eventually closing itself up.
"Well I hope your little prank was worth it Master. You're lucky she was using regular bullets on you."
Alucard groaned while he sat down on the bed, rubbing his head.
"I can't say I told you so." Seras said.
"Oh come on Police Girl one of us had to, and let's face it you were too scared."
"Scared? I was not, this was all your idea. I wanted no part in this whatsoever! I swear you're just like child." she yelled.
Alucard shook his head, trying to clear the fog.
"Give them to me." Seras ordered, holding her hand out towards him.
Alucard stared at her innocently, "There aren't any more."
"You're such a liar, hand them over."
Alucard grumbled something about the whole event not being fair, and that he was only playing around. He searched his pockets, and handed Seras a small rectangular card board box. Emblazoned in big yellow letters were the words.
"ACME Exploding Cigars! Trick Your Friends!"
Seras walked into the bathroom; snapped each of them and flushed them down the toilet.
"I know you're bored Master, but can't you just read a book or something? Do you have to resort to pranks"
Alucard shrugged his shoulders and began paging through her magazine, "I gave up on books centuries ago, Police Girl. They're dull, kinda like you."
Seras sneered at him, "I am not dull, and give this back." she grumbled snatching her magazine away from him.
Integral sat in her office, it had taken her almost an hour to clean herself up. She had thrown out her entire stock of cigars; she was sure he had tampered with all of them.
She wondered if maybe she should take up a new addiction, one that didn't involve lighting things on fire.
Okay so there's the second installment, once again it's complete silliness. Don't ask me why Alucard is constantly picking on Integral, she just seems so easy to provoke. I'm currently toying with Alucard doing something to Seras but not sure what yet. Hope you enjoyed it.
So I hope you enjoy this new installment, it's a bit odd, and Alucard acts a bit childish but I still think it's funny!
Read Enjoy Review!
Alucard quietly shut the door behind him, and crept down the stairs. Just as he was at the bottom, he heard light footsteps walking down the hall on the floor above him. Melting into the shadows, he waited until he heard the door open, and close above.
What he had done was wrong....horribly, horribly wrong.
Once he was sure the coast was clear he re-appeared, and walked down the hallway towards the basement. The further away he was when things went down the better....
***
Integral sat down in her chair, she had been in meetings all day. She was tired, and in desperate need of a break. Propping her feet up on her desk, she took a deep breath, and lit one of her cigars.
She inhaled deeply, enjoying her addiction.
***
Alucard was halfway down the hallway, when he ran into Walter. On any other day Walter was always good for a nice chat to pass the time. But today was not that day.
"Hello Alucard, I'm glad I ran into you. I've been looking for you I wanted to tell-"
"Can we talk later Walter, I'm actually very busy I-" Alucard tried getting passed him, but Walter stood his ground.
"It is very important that I speak with you, it's about a new weapon I've been designing. I'd like to get your opinion on it if I may."
Alucard nodded, "Sure Walter, but not now I really have to go-"
KABLAMM!! Ahhhhh!
What sounded like a small explosion came from the second floor. Walter was sure it was another invasion. He turned towards Alucard.
"Alucard, you must...."
Alucard had vanished. Walter quickly made his way to the second floor, expecting Alucard to already be at the scene protecting his master.
"It must be a hit of some sort." Walter thought to himself. Sir Integral had, had a few assassination attempt made on her through the years. He hoped that once again luck would be with her, and she would be unscathed.
He opened the door, and walked into a thinning cloud of light smoke. Integral's chair was turned away from him. Walter feared the worst.
"Sir Integral?" he paused, "are you all right?"
Slowly, the chair turned around. Walter's jaw dropped.
"Sir Integral! What happened?"
***
Seras Victoria was on her bed, lazily flipping through a magazine. She barely batted an eyelash when her Master slammed the door to her room. She glanced up at him, and gave him a "what is it now" look.
He giggled maniacally, and slapped a hand over his mouth, trying to suppress his crazed laughter.
Seras went back to her magazine, completely unphased.
A few seconds ticked by before Alucard heard the doors slamming upstairs.
"ALUCARD! You fucking corpse, don't you dare hide from me! I swear I'll kill you when I find you!" Integral screamed.
Alucard clutched his sides, trying to hold in his laughter.
"I told you not to do that Master." Seras said, still reading her magazine.
Integral was barreling down the stairs now, with Walter following behind her. She knew he wouldn't be dumb enough to hide in his own room. But maybe in his little pets room. She banged on Seras' door.
Seras pushed the still laughing Alucard out of the way and opened it. Never in her life (or un-life) did she every dream of seeing what stood before her.
Integral stood in the doorway, covered in black soot. Her glasses were still firmly pressed to her head, but the lenses had been shattered. Her once pristine blonde hair, flailed out in all directions and the ends were slightly singed.
Seras was about to pleaded her innocence, but was abruptly pushed aside. Integral stepped towards Alucard, who at seeing his dishelved master burst out into cackling fits of laughter.
"Is this a new look Master?" he snickered.
Integral was livid. She gritted her teeth, and cocked the gun she had carried down with her.
"Now Sir Integral lets not do anything brash" Walter chirped , trying to be the voice of reason.
Integral ignored Walters pleads for proper decorum, and raised her gun shooting Alucard right between the eyes. He dropped into a heap of blood, and red fabric, his cheshire cat grin still glued to his face.
With that Integral holstered her gun, turned, and left a very stunned Seras behind.
Seras stood beside her Master, and tapped him with her foot, "She's gone you can come back now."
Slowly, Alucard pulled himself back together, the hole in his head eventually closing itself up.
"Well I hope your little prank was worth it Master. You're lucky she was using regular bullets on you."
Alucard groaned while he sat down on the bed, rubbing his head.
"I can't say I told you so." Seras said.
"Oh come on Police Girl one of us had to, and let's face it you were too scared."
"Scared? I was not, this was all your idea. I wanted no part in this whatsoever! I swear you're just like child." she yelled.
Alucard shook his head, trying to clear the fog.
"Give them to me." Seras ordered, holding her hand out towards him.
Alucard stared at her innocently, "There aren't any more."
"You're such a liar, hand them over."
Alucard grumbled something about the whole event not being fair, and that he was only playing around. He searched his pockets, and handed Seras a small rectangular card board box. Emblazoned in big yellow letters were the words.
"ACME Exploding Cigars! Trick Your Friends!"
Seras walked into the bathroom; snapped each of them and flushed them down the toilet.
"I know you're bored Master, but can't you just read a book or something? Do you have to resort to pranks"
Alucard shrugged his shoulders and began paging through her magazine, "I gave up on books centuries ago, Police Girl. They're dull, kinda like you."
Seras sneered at him, "I am not dull, and give this back." she grumbled snatching her magazine away from him.
Integral sat in her office, it had taken her almost an hour to clean herself up. She had thrown out her entire stock of cigars; she was sure he had tampered with all of them.
She wondered if maybe she should take up a new addiction, one that didn't involve lighting things on fire.
Okay so there's the second installment, once again it's complete silliness. Don't ask me why Alucard is constantly picking on Integral, she just seems so easy to provoke. I'm currently toying with Alucard doing something to Seras but not sure what yet. Hope you enjoyed it.