Secret Window
Chapter 3
The Wilderness suxs
WE FIND OUR PSYCHO FRIENDS OUT IN THE WILDERNESS....ALONE, HUNGRY, AND THEY HAVE TO PISS.....
Mort: I wish I would have brought my bathing suit, I would have gone swimming......
Alter Ego: (carving lines into a rock) SHUT UP! I'm trying to leave a message in the rock so that years from now people will know how stupid you are, and they will tell my sad story for years to come.
Mort: Wow, that's deep my alter ego friend, but I really don't care.....i just want food....
Alter Ego: Well, you ate all the shit, so that's gone, and our corn is gone, so lets try to get some food, and maybe build a shelter.
Mort: Cool! I'm excited! I feel like Lewis and Clark, except they where 2 different people, your just a figment of my imagination..
Alter Ego: NOOOO, I'm real, you're fake...
Mort: Noooo......
Alter Ego: Yessss......oh what ever.....We need food, and a pace to sleep..
And so began the psycho's adventure, when a man who has gone nuts and tries to live for himself, it ain't pretty.....
Mort: OK, we have to get off our rock I guess....
Alter Ego: Yaa...that would definitely be a start...
Mort: OK...err....lets build a raft! See! I am smart!
Alter Ego: Out of what oh smart one? (bowing)
Mort: Oh...right....ok...I guess we'll have to swim..
Alter Ego: Good observation Einstein! I say, you really are the smartest dumbass I've ever seen!
Mort: Thanks! Wait! GRRRRRRRRRRRRR.....
Alter Ego: Wow...ok....on the count of three, JUMP! 1 2 3 JUMP!!!!!
AND THEN BEGAN THE SWIM, A PERILOUS ADVENTURE THROUGH TREACHEROUS WATERS, THAT WAS KNEE DEEP....
Mort: Keep swimming! We have a long way to go!
Alter Ego: Well, it looks to me tat we are almost there..... Mort: No...that's just lannnn.........ohhhhh land....right...I get it...
Alter Ego: Life must be really be hard for you...I feel bad, I've been a let down on my alter geo duties, which are to at least keep His alter ego sane, and with it, but it seems to me you lost it a long time ago....I'm sorry my friend, but you need help...
Mort: Sorry what was that, I was gettin' somin' out of my teeth....
Alter Ego: We officially aren't related...and will have no contact for the remainder of the time that we are out here....
Mort: I don't understand big words, but I think I follow your drift dude, I think you said that we aren't friends anymore, and that's hurts me....*sniff* I think I'm gonna cry...I am now...brainily damaged.....wahhhhhhh!
Alter Ego: Would you like to draw attention to all the living creatures in the world?
Mort: You hurt my feelings! And yes, even though I killed my wife, and her husband, and my friends, and the sheriff, and the dog, I STILL HAVE FEELINGS!
Alter ego: Yeaaahhh, I bet ya do...
Mort: Hmmppfff.....Fine, be that way,,TURD!!!!!!!!
Alter Ego: Oooohhhh, you called me a turd, I'm scared! Mort: I still have that screwdriver buddy, so watch out!
Alter Ego: Sit down friend, we need to talk before we go any further. Now listen, I know it's hard for you, but listen, You, as in YOU, and I as in ME, are the SAME person, do you understand? What you do to me, you do to yourself!
Mort: Ohhhh
Alter Ego: We have a very long way to go....
WE FIND OUR PSYCHO FRIENDS OUT IN THE WILDERNESS....ALONE, HUNGRY, AND THEY HAVE TO PISS.....
Mort: I wish I would have brought my bathing suit, I would have gone swimming......
Alter Ego: (carving lines into a rock) SHUT UP! I'm trying to leave a message in the rock so that years from now people will know how stupid you are, and they will tell my sad story for years to come.
Mort: Wow, that's deep my alter ego friend, but I really don't care.....i just want food....
Alter Ego: Well, you ate all the shit, so that's gone, and our corn is gone, so lets try to get some food, and maybe build a shelter.
Mort: Cool! I'm excited! I feel like Lewis and Clark, except they where 2 different people, your just a figment of my imagination..
Alter Ego: NOOOO, I'm real, you're fake...
Mort: Noooo......
Alter Ego: Yessss......oh what ever.....We need food, and a pace to sleep..
And so began the psycho's adventure, when a man who has gone nuts and tries to live for himself, it ain't pretty.....
Mort: OK, we have to get off our rock I guess....
Alter Ego: Yaa...that would definitely be a start...
Mort: OK...err....lets build a raft! See! I am smart!
Alter Ego: Out of what oh smart one? (bowing)
Mort: Oh...right....ok...I guess we'll have to swim..
Alter Ego: Good observation Einstein! I say, you really are the smartest dumbass I've ever seen!
Mort: Thanks! Wait! GRRRRRRRRRRRRR.....
Alter Ego: Wow...ok....on the count of three, JUMP! 1 2 3 JUMP!!!!!
AND THEN BEGAN THE SWIM, A PERILOUS ADVENTURE THROUGH TREACHEROUS WATERS, THAT WAS KNEE DEEP....
Mort: Keep swimming! We have a long way to go!
Alter Ego: Well, it looks to me tat we are almost there..... Mort: No...that's just lannnn.........ohhhhh land....right...I get it...
Alter Ego: Life must be really be hard for you...I feel bad, I've been a let down on my alter geo duties, which are to at least keep His alter ego sane, and with it, but it seems to me you lost it a long time ago....I'm sorry my friend, but you need help...
Mort: Sorry what was that, I was gettin' somin' out of my teeth....
Alter Ego: We officially aren't related...and will have no contact for the remainder of the time that we are out here....
Mort: I don't understand big words, but I think I follow your drift dude, I think you said that we aren't friends anymore, and that's hurts me....*sniff* I think I'm gonna cry...I am now...brainily damaged.....wahhhhhhh!
Alter Ego: Would you like to draw attention to all the living creatures in the world?
Mort: You hurt my feelings! And yes, even though I killed my wife, and her husband, and my friends, and the sheriff, and the dog, I STILL HAVE FEELINGS!
Alter ego: Yeaaahhh, I bet ya do...
Mort: Hmmppfff.....Fine, be that way,,TURD!!!!!!!!
Alter Ego: Oooohhhh, you called me a turd, I'm scared! Mort: I still have that screwdriver buddy, so watch out!
Alter Ego: Sit down friend, we need to talk before we go any further. Now listen, I know it's hard for you, but listen, You, as in YOU, and I as in ME, are the SAME person, do you understand? What you do to me, you do to yourself!
Mort: Ohhhh
Alter Ego: We have a very long way to go....