Chapter 23

The remaining two weeks until my birthday dragged by, more so because of my realization that Jem had lied to me. I lay awake at night wondering why he would do such a thing. I would never have expected that from him, but I supposed that's what every girl thought when this happened. He hadn't sent me another letter for days. But I didn't care. If I'd gotten one, it would've been thrown into the fire, unopened. The magic book lay on my bedside table. I was afraid it would show me more things I didn't want to see.

Mandy and Mother knew something was wrong. I wasn't eating properly and had lost too much weight in too little time. All my gowns were too big, and I had to get my dress refitted for the ball. I was always tired and cried myself dry every night. I tried to tell myself he wasn't worth it, but I couldn't. I knew he wasn't, but how could he write me a letter like that and then...

Morning of the last day before the ball dawned bright and cold. A harsh wind was blowing through the city of Frell. My chambermaid woke me as she usually did, but she didn't have to fight me to get up. I stood up in a stupor, and she kept glancing worriedly at me as she snapped the bedclothes. I dressed and walked to the kitchen.

Mandy persuaded me to eat some oatmeal, and the rest of the day was spent preparing the castle. The decorations were beautiful, but I barely noticed them. Millions of ribbons and ornaments were strung everywhere; on stair rails, walls, and even from the ceiling.

Getting dressed for the ball was torture. The seamstress pulled my corset so tight that I was thinner than I already was from lack of food, and the maids pulled at my hair to weave it into a complicated style. I was wearing one of Mother's old gowns, the one she wore on the night Father proposed to her. I didn't want to think of love and marriage, so I resented wearing the dress immediately. It was altered by Mandy, and it was very beautiful, but I didn't care. I wanted to get tonight over with.

But then I thought, why should Jem spoil tonight? If I had never met Jem, a ball would have been the greatest thing in the world to me. Now, I just wish I had never laid eyes on him.

The ball officially started at 8, and guests started arriving just as I was finished dressing. Mandy hugged me and told me I looked beautiful. For some reason there was a look of apology in her eyes. Mother was the same; like she had done something wrong. I figured if I was beginning to notice people's emotions again, I was recovering. This uplifted me slightly, and I entered the hall with my head held high and a semi-smile on my face.

I was announced and I walked down the staircase into the mass of chattering nobles. There were people of all ages, but the majority was around my age. Several eyes followed me across the floor, and I smiled and curtseyed to everyone. They all smiled and bowed or curtseyed back and I kept walking.

"El!" I heard someone cry.

Emily was standing with Chris a few feet away. She ran over and hugged me tight, and I hugged her back. I hadn't told her about Jem, but she didn't need me to say anything to know something was wrong.

"What is it? You're so skinny! How have you been turning down Mandy's cooking?" she asked. Chris looked me over and he started questioning me too. I waved their questions away like flies. It wasn't important, anyway. Jem was no longer a part of my life and it was time to accept it. Suddenly I felt ravenous. We left for the refreshment table and I loaded my plate. I saw Mandy and Mother exchange relieved glances from across the hall.

I was asked to dance by many, whether it was because I was a princess or because they genuinely wanted to dance was a mystery to me. All I knew was none of them danced as well as Jem.

Stop thinking about him, he's gone. He's not worth it.

Hours went by, and I truly enjoyed myself. Half the time I didn't even think of Jem, and when my thoughts turned to him I didn't get the pang of sadness I usually received.

It was half past eleven, and I was dancing with Chris. I remember because I was trying with all my might not to step on his feet (that would justify him in teasing me for the rest of my life).

BANG

I jumped and stood on Chris's feet, but he didn't notice. A cloaked figure was coming through the door. Everyone turned to see the man walking through the entrance.

Red hair was poking through the top of the cloak.

A/N: muahahaha yet another cliffhanger... read and revieeeeeew...