GAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Runs around room in a frantic search for the right chapter) GAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (holds up a paper, huggles paper) found it!

extreamly sorry about that! It was late when i updated it and you see i was at Otakon recently and i was still sleepy because of that, i supose i shouldnt have made use of so many of those hug me signs it could have made me sick and then that would have only made it worse. (yes, i realize that i am babbeling like an insane idiot but this is what i do when i am frantic.)

so sorry, so sorry, so sorry!!!!!! only my compleat inaptitude (sp?) as a writter could have resulted in this! or my extream lack of attention span, i think that i was telling someone about how i was in a crowded elevater with Pocky Man. either way, the RIGHT chapter is up now. (now they have another reason to kill me...oh no)

Before you read: don't kill me. It gets pretty bad. I was about to kill myself after I read over it (not in a suicidal way, the same way that you will want me dead by the end.)

"You never told him that you weren't staying at a friend's house, did you?" Dee asked Bikky as he threw his luggage in the back of Dee's car and came around the front to the passenger side and got in.

"You're a friend. Besides, what does it matter, you aren't even talking to him anymore. He said that you got in a fight or something. What did you do anyway? Try to rape him?" Bikky snorted and glanced over at Dee, whose fingers were tightening their grip on the steering wheel.

"That isn't even funny." Dee fought to keep watching the road, not thinking about what he had to do to get his life back on track. He had to apologize to James, even though he did not love him. He had to prove to himself that he was not so easily dismissed. He needed stability, even if it was faked stability.

"You did, didn't you? I knew that I couldn't trust you, you..." Bikky's words stopped as Dee slammed on the breaks, pulling sharply to the side of the road.

"I don't need to have this conversation right now, got it? I have been through too much stress and dealt with too much lately so just lay off, alright? I went through hell with Ryo, ended up getting my heart broken again, and to top it all off now James wont talk to me. I am not in the best of moods right now so just let the conversation drop." Dee sucked in a deep breath and flipped on the radio. The normal crap filled with ideas about how love triumphed over everything belted out of the stereos. "I wish that were true" Dee thought to himself. He searched through several radio stations looking for something focused on something other than the matters of the heart. It was hopeless. Every song dealt with breaking up or getting together with someone. He ended his search by turning off the radio and cursing all of the idiots who wrote music.

The arrived at Dee's apartment on time and they climbed out of the car. Dee gave Bikky the key and the number and told him to go eat whatever was in the fridge, call Ryo, or do whatever he had to do. There was something that Dee had to take care of.

He got back in his car and drove to James's apartment complex, ignoring everyone around him. He climbed the stairs in silence, listening for anything that sounded remotely like James's voice. He could hardly keep himself from running down the hallway before reaching the door.

He was greeted with a type of coldness that he was not used to, he felt compelled to explain himself but unable to do so. He knew that he would not be so quick to warm up to him, but the chilled fire in James's eyes had been unexpected to say the least. "James, I am really sorry and I..."

"Don't even bother. I already asked around town, found a few of your friends. I figured that I had better find out something about your Ryo. I found out more than I had expected to. I found out that you were close to asking him to move in with you before he left you, just got up and left. I also found out that you couldn't even date from then until you found me. After that, I got one little tidbit that sickened me. You don't even love me, you never did. You think that Ryo hurt you? I never want to see you again, I never want to talk to you again, and your damn lucky that I have some restraint or you would have a black eye by now!" James slammed the door and the sound echoed though the halls. Dee dropped the flowers hidden behind his back and walked off. He didn't have the energy to fight.

He drove back to his apartment and collapsed in his bed, numb to everything around him. He had lost everything. Ryo. James. "Oh god." He whispered to the night. A sob wracked his body and a pitiful sound escaped his mouth, muffled by the pillow he clutched to his face. Everything was over, there was no point to it anymore. Even if he had not truly loved James he certainly hadn't hated him. He still had an attachment to him, and now that was gone.

He thought of friends to call. Ted, no. Ted was understanding about his relationships with men but made it very clear that he didn't want to hear about them or witness them. Drake had pulled away from him ever since he had begun going out with JJ. He had no one to talk to, he was alone in an empty house.

"Dee?" A voice called from his door. Dee threw the pillow off of his face and saw a round face framed with blond hair, Carol. He remembered that Bikky had come over to stay and wherever Bikky was found Carol would soon be there. "What's wrong?"

"Everything," Dee began to explain everything to her, not holding back. His pride had taken enough hits, now it had to bleed. He needed someone to know about everything that had happened, someone to understand how he felt, but mostly, he just needed to get everything out of his system. "I'm sorry for taking so long, go spend some time with Bikky, I need to be alone anyway."

Dee sat alone for over an hour, listening to the boring droning of one of Ryo's old CDs. He hadn't liked the music when her first heard it but it had grown on him until he was no longer willing to let it go. In the past, he had played it when he was lonely, now he used it to help him think.

He rolled over in his bed, closer to the phone, and picked it up. He dialed Ryo's phone number. He needed something to keep his mind off of James and telling Ryo about Bikky would provide that. He had the perfect excuse, one that Ryo could see through but it would not be transparent. He listened intently to the many rings before Amy picked up. "Hey, is Ryo there, I need to talk to him."

"He said that he didn't want to talk to you, just what did you do to him?"

Dee turned uncomfortably and took a deep breath. "Tell him that I really need to talk with him and that it has nothing to do with my visit, can you do that for me?"

Ryo's voice soon sounded over the phone, sounding hushed. "What do you want?"

"I thought you should know that Bikky is staying with me for spring break. I told him to tell you but then he didn't so I figured that I would do it myself. Now that we have that out of the way, I just wanted to apologize again. I know that it doesn't matter what I say, but I just thought that I would mention it again." Dee held his breath, hoping that Ryo would not just hang up.

"Thank you for telling me about Bikky and I'm sorry that I said that I hated you. I don't hate you but um, you went a little too far with that. I'm not forgiving you, I'm just saying that I don't hate you. I would still like to spend some time with you, if you want to that is." Ryo bit on his lip, knowing that Dee would take it as more than it was. He was willing to give him another chance but that was all. He knew that he no longer harbored feelings for the man, not after what happened.

"I would take you up on that offer, but I have a better one. How about you come down here and visit. You can come down while Bikky is here that way you get to spend some time with him, some time with me, and then you can also catch up with everyone over here. You are still the precinct idol, you know that right? The chief still talks about you. I swear he wants to adopt you or something!" Dee let out a forced laugh, attempting to lighten the mood.

"Sounds like a good idea, I would like to talk to Drake again, and everyone else. I would also like to meet James. Just swear that you will behave and I'll come." Ryo pleaded into the phone, already knowing that Dee would agree. The only thing he didn't know was if that would actually be the case.

"I swear that I will. Oh, and I'm sorry, you wont be meeting James. Its over. I was stressed out and ended up telling him everything that happened while I was down there. After that, well, he wouldn't believe I word that I said. I went to his apartment to apologize and he slammed the door in my face. Sorry you wont get a chance to meet him, you would have loved him." Dee hid his pain as best he could but a single tear streamed down his face. He took a deep breath, he had to get off of the phone before he cried, he could not let Ryo know about it. "I have to get off, Bikky needs something. Bye."

Ryo sighed. It wasn't as though he didn't want to meet Dee again, he just didn't want to do anything to hurt his relationship with Amy. As it was, he was more unsure of himself than ever. He shook his head to be free of all of the thoughts floating around in his head. He reminded himself that he as saving money to buy Amy a ring, he would soon be engaged to her.

He grabbed his coat and headed out the door. He had saved up enough money, he had some shopping to do. Soon they would be married and they would no longer be the biggest scandal in the neighborhood. He could relax and prepare to spend the rest of his life keeping up with the Jones's next door.

Jewelry store after jewelry store had poor selection and high prices so he continued his search. He eventually found a ring, but it was not the perfect one. The silver band, Amy had always liked silver better, was tarnished. The stone was not as big as he would have liked, and the design was not the one. It was not the perfect design that he had envisioned in his head for years. Still, it would have to do. He brought the ring home and looked it over again. Amy had some silver polish that would make quick work of any tarnish that clung to it, but it would never be the perfect ring.

He decided to ask her two days before he left for the city. He still had a few days to plan the perfect way to ask her. Moonlit on the beach would have been perfect, but there were no beaches around. A fancy restaurant would work, but it was too common, too expensive, and too far away. He settled on a romantic night at home, disappointed. Disappointment had become a large part of his life.

Ryo added the final touches to the beautiful meal that he had cooked while Amy's friends kept her out of the house. He had already given them the cell phone call that was the signal that he was ready for her. He knew the plan.

They would take her out for a nice evening, girls night out. They would buy her a new dress and insist to buy it for her as a group present, Ryo had given them the money. After buying the dress they would continue to shop around the mall until the call was made. Amy's friend would make the excuse that her husband called and their two year old was sick and they needed to go home. The girl who drove would take her to her own house and get her ready to stun Ryo with the new dress. After she was dressed up they would head off to Amy's house.

Ryo heard a car drive off and he knew it was time to finish the final touches. He stood next to the table with a bottle of wine in one hand and two glasses in the other. He was dressed in his best clothes, Amy had been with him when he bought them.

Amy opened the door to find a silk ribbon laying on the floor, leading to the kitchen. Dark rose petals were scattered around it, sparking her interest. She followed them into the kitchen which was lit only by two candles burning above a table full of food. Her eyes traveled around the table, the fine china, the polished silverware, the meals cooked to perfection, before moving up to see Ryo holding the red wine. He smiled and handed her a glass of wine.

"Before this night goes any further, I just want to ask you something." Ryo went down on bended knee and took her hands in his own, handing her the box. She opened up the lid and looked down at the beautiful ring. "Will you marry me?"

"Randy, I don't know what to say except yes!"

AAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!! (runs and hides!!!!!!) DON'T KILL ME!!!!!! THIS IS NOT THE END! I REPEAT! NOT THE END!!!!!! (dodges several objects, many of which are extremely sharp) PLEASE DON'T KILL ME!!!! (makes use of the rubber shelter. Several objects bounce off the side) um, I'll post soon and everything will be cleared up. and this time i'll even post the right chapter too! so please dont kill me. if you do then i will never get a chance to perfect my Haru costume (note to others at Otakon-if you saw a Haru without a coat, that was me. if you kill me then i can never acheive my dreams of doing a decent cosplay)