hello, remember me? yeah, i have an excuse again! I wanted to update last weekend but something happened, i went on (another) trip which turned into another vacation from hell. I need to find a better way to relax. Our hotel had a bar next to it so i was woken up three times by people screaming at each other (every other word was F)and a fourth time by dogs barking. there was puke in the parking lot (i'm scared of sickness!!! I was afraid to leave my hotel room!!!) but on the upside i got to jump on a water trampoline so it evened out in the end (except that i didnt have a swim suit so i got my I love Yaoi shirt wet) so there is my excuse!

I Dont remember if this matches up with everything in my story, i have re-edited it so many times. Yeah, Ryo's fist line makes this sound like a retarded soap opera but hopefully you will have forgotten about that by the end of the chapter.

Dee smiled and rolled off of Ryo, landing on a tangle of sheets next to him. "So, you are serious about coming back during the weekends. I'll go crazy if you don't." Dee ran his fingers through Ryo's hair, kissing his forehead.

"Dee, I asked Amy to marry me." Ryo bit his lip and looked down at the bed, tears in his eyes. He just could not hold it in any longer. "I don't know why I did it, it was stupid, I know."

"Get out." Dee let out a slow and steady growl "Get out of my apartment, now or I will not be responsible for what I do."

"I understand. I will love you forever, I just want you to know that." He got out of bed, body wrapped in a sheet, and began looking for his clothes.

"Good bye." Dee said, the growling tone gone.

Ryo's memory flashed back to the day he had left before. He had asked Dee to never say good bye to him. He knew that it meant, it was over. He sighed and grabbing his clothes, heading for the shower. He cleaned himself up and headed out the door.

He did not think the entire time that he drove to his house. Mindless songs played on the radio but he did not hear them. He did not see the young couples walking hand in hand down the street. He noticed the houses though, each one with a perfect picket fence, a golden retriever in the yard, maybe small children playing on the swing set put up in the back yard. Were their lives just as empty? The walls of the houses echoed with unspoken tales, abuse, alcoholics, rape, affairs, but the outside remained unaffected. They all appeared to be living the perfect life.

One tear fell across his face. That was the life he was submitting himself to. Now he could see that their lives were not as wonderful as they appeared. He realized that there were bodies impaled on their beloved fences. The great American dream...it was little more than a lie.

He pulled into the driveway, numb all over. Someone might have said hello to him, it was the neighborly thing to do, say hello no matter how much you hated someone. He didn't respond, he just walked to the door and went inside. He could hide in there, just like everyone else. He could hide his fear, his pain, retreat into the shell he had formed.

"Amy! I'm back!" He put a fake smile on his face, he had to appear happy. He reminded himself that he was now Randy, the suburban man who loved his wife. "Amy!" No response came. He walked farther into the house, deeply confused. She had sworn to be home when he got back, ready to welcome him back and discuss wedding plans. Figuring that she was taking a nap, he headed towards the bedroom.

He knocked on the door, calling out her name once more. When no one answered he opened it slowly as not to wake her. No one was in there. he spotted something on the bed and went closer to investigate.

It was a note in her handwriting, tears splattered over the entire paper, blurring the ink. "Go home Ryo." Next to the paper was five hundred dollars, the ring he had given her, and photographs of him and Dee.

He couldn't breath. He knew that she had been able to put the pieces together after she found the photographs. She knew why he had left to visit him, surly. A wide smile came over his face. He was free.

He grabbed his clothes and threw them in a suitcase, he took everything that he would need and packed it in the car. He was ready to joyously drive away when the remorse hit him. She had loved him just as much as Dee had. He got out of the car and went back inside. He found a piece of paper and wrote her a letter, she deserved an explanation, just as Dee had.

Amy,

Never doubt that I cared you. I'm sorry that I never told you about Dee, I didn't think that you would understand. When I invited him up I had no idea that this would happen. I ended up falling in love with him, I suppose I never got over him. I'm sorry that this had to happen but it is for the best. It would not be fair to either of us if we married. If you ever need any help, remember me. I will always be here for you.

Your friend,

Ryo

Satisfied with his note, he began to roll it up until it was thin enough to fit through the ring. He placed it back on the bed and looked down at it. She would be hurt, she would never talk to him again, but he had tried his best.

He went back to the car and drove off, back to New York, back to Dee.

IMPORTANT: this gives extra meaning to the note, Amy always called him Randy.