Hello, this is Bikky. I just wanted everyone to know that I have not dropped off of the face of the earth despite how it seemed last chapter. Sadly, I was not able to make it into that chapter and I would be back in school by the time of this chapter. I know, life sucks when I'm not around. And contrary to popular belief (promoted by the fact that I'm not in ANY of her stories) Storm Elf does love me, she just seems to forget about me because she is an idiot and as you can see, she cant make me sound in character and she thinks that not having me is better than having me out of character, not that it keeps her from having Dee and Ryo in her fics!

Dee laid on the couch, only half listening to the broadcast. Tiny sparkles of tears were in his eyes, but he could not bring himself to cry. He had canceled his plans for the night. Drake and JJ were going to take him out, try to get him to meet new people in hopes of sparking a love interest.

A knock on the door brought him back from his dreamlike state. He opened the door to find Ryo standing there, soaking wet with the rain that Dee did not know was coming down. At once he wanted to take him in but he also wanted to shut him out. Dee still loved him, but Ryo had done too much.

"What's wrong? Finally realize that you need me or did the bitch throw you out?" Dee asked, sneering the word "bitch."

Ryo looked down at his shoes, biting his bottom lip. He didn't know how to respond.

"I knew it wasn't the first one. Here is Drake and JJ's new address, go stay with them." Dee pushed a piece of paper in Ryo's hand and closed the door.

Ryo stood in the hall for a moment before falling to the ground, collapsing in tears that he had held back for so long. He held the paper up to look at it. It wasn't very far, he could walk there. He tried to fight back his tears again, to get control over his body.

He used the walls to help him stand, he could not do it on his own, crying as he was. He made his way slowly down the halls and stairs before reaching the street level. Once there, the cold rain washed the tears out of his eyes. He looked around and everywhere he looked he could find nothing but truth. It was not the gentle suburbs where everyone played nice. Here, if you hated someone you let them know. If you were abusive, your neighbors knew. They knew who did drugs, who didn't. No one hid behind picket fences, they left themselves exposed, not afraid to tell the world who they were. They were New Yorkers and damn proud of it.

He reminded himself that he was one of them, one of the tougher ones too. He was a cop, a detective. He tracked down murderers, he found the druggies and the abusers. He did not turn the other cheek like some wimpy suburb cop, not here. He was stronger than his neighbors in the suburb who would die if they were gossiped about. He didn't need some hollow dream to chase, he had love.

He chose to ignore the fact that love had just gotten him tossed out on the street twice in one day.

He made his way to Drake and JJ's apartment with a renewed purpose. He was reborn, in his eyes, and was better for it. True, he had had his pedestal kicked out from under him, he had been dragged through the mud, but now he had gotten back on his feet, dusted off that dirt, and was ready to start again. He had left Amy, that was the first step. Sure, Amy may have been the one doing the leaving, but no one needed to know that. He would say that on the way home, he realized just how important Dee was. When he got home, he broke off the engagement and rushed to Dee's apartment. It was close to the truth. It very well could have happened if Amy had been there when he got home.

It was Drake who opened the door. He took one look and Ryo and dragged him in. He knew that he didn't look too good, but he hadn't predicted such a strong reaction. Drake pushed him down into a chair and yelled for JJ to get a cup of tea while he found a towel.

"You look like a half drown rat, what happened?" Drake asked as soon as he had gotten a towel and pulled a blanket off of the back of the couch. He wrapped Ryo up in the blanket and began to dry his hair with the towel.

"Dee..." Ryo could not explain the situation, the words wouldn't come. He broke into tears again. It embarrassed him, but he couldn't help him.

"Get Dee on the phone, find out what happened." Drake snapped at JJ, who had already passed off the tea.

JJ did as he was told and after a minute he called for Drake to come into the kitchen. Ryo knew that they were talking about him. He pulled his legs up and threw his arms around them, hugging them close in an attempt to stop the tears where they were. All of the confidence he had gained during the walk over was gone.

"Ryo," JJ whispered, startling Ryo. He had not known that they were back in the room. He knew what would happen. Now that they knew how bad he had treated Dee they would ask him to leave. He didn't deserve to be in their company. Ryo was about to get up, figuring that it was better to leave than be thrown out, when he felt arms around him. He opened his eyes to find that he was trapped in a JJ hug.

"We went through the same thing" Drake explained. "Even after I knew that I loved JJ I still tried to date girls because I was afraid of being gay. It was a stupid fear, but it still scared me. Dee still loves you, he just has to cool down."

"Um, Drake," JJ whispered "Um, he is kinda headed over here."

"What?" Ryo screamed, standing up and knocking the blanket and JJ on the floor. "Why?"

"When I called him I said 'What the hell did you do to Ryo? He came over here looking like he has been through hell' he demanded a better description so I told him that you were crying so hard that you couldn't even tell us what happened. He gave me a quick run down and said that he was coming over." JJ bit his lip, not sure if what he had done was good or bad.

Ryo sat back down. He had managed to fight the tears from his eyes, he was in control again. Drake picked up the blanket and pulled Ryo to his feet.

"Come on, we cant have him see you like this. Go take a shower, you can borrow JJ's pajamas, he is about the same size as you. When Dee comes over we will talk to him first, make sure that he is here to help." Drake pulled on Ryo's arm, guiding him to their bathroom. Making sure that Ryo didn't see, he grabbed the razors and put them in his pocket. After working on suicide cases, he knew better than to leave any depressed person alone with anything sharp. He didn't think that Ryo would try anything, but that was also what most of the families said when they were being interviewed.

"Drake, could you call Bikky, let him know at least some of the things that have happened. His number is programmed into my cell phone. I think I dropped it in your living room. But don't tell him everything."

"Sure thing," Drake said with a forced smile. "Just take your shower and don't worry about a thing. Use JJ's shampoo," Drake pointed to a bottle that had JJ's name written on a piece of masking tape. "Mine is strange, it dries out everyone else's hair. You could still use it if you wanted to, but you would be sorry if you did."

Drake walked out carrying Ryo's cell phone, which had been in his pocket, not on the living room floor. He found Bikky's number and called him, hoping that he answered.

"Dad?" said a voice that Drake instantly recognized as Bikky.

"Nope, its Drake. Your dad is going through some tough shit right now. I haven't been able to get the whole story, but he is not living with Amy anymore. He is at my apartment right now cleaning himself up. He is a bit of a mess."

"But why is he at your apartment, shouldn't he be with Dee?" Bikky's heart skipped a beat, they had been getting along very well when he had last seen them.

"He went there but Dee didn't want to take him back. That might change though, Dee is headed over here. Keep some of your things packed, you might have to come home if this is as serous as I think it is. Could you tell me who I would have to call to get you sent home?" Drake pulled out a pen and paper and wrote down everything that Bikky said, including a message for Ryo. "Alright, thanks. Don't worry about this more than you have to, I'm sure that everything will work out."

"How did it go?" JJ asked.

"Pretty well. I think that he is a little in shock right now." Drake sat down on the couch, trying to relax. JJ climbed in his lap, putting his arms around his partner.

"Drake, are you alright?" JJ asked, placing a kiss on Drake's forehead

"I'll be fine, its just reminding me of how much I screwed up." Drake reciprocated the hug and the kiss before he heard a pounding on the door.

Before the pair of them could get up, the door opened and Dee stormed in, looking around for Ryo.

"He is taking a shower right now," Drake explained. "And I took the razors out of the bathroom."

"That bad?" Dee asked, his eyes widening.

"Probably not, but it is better safe than sorry. He was pretty shaken up about everything. If you think about it, there were two things he always thought that he could count on and now they are both gone, the biggest thing being your love."

"He doesn't deserve it anymore." Dee hissed, causing JJ and Drake to jump.

JJ pushed Drake, who was between him and Dee, out of the way and stood toe to toe with Dee, looking him right in the eye. With their noses only an inch away from touching, he began to scream at him.

"Did you come over here to help because you were worried about him or did you just want to make things worse? I know that you care about him, otherwise you wouldn't be here, would you? You just don't want to get hurt again, you want him but your too afraid of what he will do."

Dee backed away and fell into the chair that Ryo had been sitting in but JJ continued to advance, yelling all the time. He had Dee thoroughly frightened when Drake pulled JJ back. Neither of them had ever seen JJ like that and it frightened both of them.

"JJ, calm down," Drake whispered, rubbing his arms to try to get him to relax. When that did not work, he hugged him, rocking from side to side as though he was baby. "JJ, you aren't helping anything."

"Why is he doing this?" JJ asked, burying his face in Drake's chest.

"I don't know, but it will be alright, everything will turn out ok." Drake slipped his finger under JJ's chin and tilted his head up enough to look into his eyes, they were brimming with tears. Drake knew what was wrong. Dee was acting the same way that JJ had after Drake had cheated on him with a girl. It was bringing back bad memories. "Why don't you go lay down for a little bit, I'll handle everything."

"Alright" JJ muttered and pulled himself out of Drake's arms. Going down the hallway, he passed by Ryo, who was out of the shower. He was sitting on the floor with his knees pulled up around his chest. "How long have you been out?"

"Since he came." Ryo whispered.

"He doesn't mean what he's saying. I have been where he was, that's why I yelled at him. If he didn't love you, he would not even be here. I know that you don't believe me, but it is the truth." JJ dropped to his knees and put his arm on Ryo's back.

"Dee, I know that you are pissed, but this is not helping." Drake said from the other room. "Ryo is really messed up right now, he needs comfort. After he has gotten over the fact that he isn't with Amy anymore, then work this out."

"No!" Dee yelled, causing Ryo to wince in JJ's arms. "Screw him, he is the one who got himself in this mess!"

"Ryo," JJ whispered, getting to his feet. "Why don't you come with me."

"I don't want to go in there." He said, ignoring the hand that JJ had extended to help him to his feet.

"That's fine because I'm not going in there. I'm going into my room, you cant hear anything from in there." JJ smiled, keeping his hand extended. "I'll tell you a story, it might make you feel better."

"Alright, if it will help." Ryo took JJ's hand and stood up, almost falling down as the blood rushed to his head, making him dizzy.

"But first, I have to stop in the kitchen, you need something to eat." JJ took him to the room that he shared with Drake and instructed him to lay on their bed.

After making sure that Ryo would not leave, he walked out. When he passed through the living room he gave Drake a look. Drake seemed to understand what it meant and went back to calming Dee.

In the kitchen, JJ went to work trying to remember his high school cooking class. He regretted his attempts to forget everything from that class, he had hated the teacher with a passion that rivaled his former love of Dee.

"Fats, I think that's what he needs," He murmured. "and chocolate. I knew I should have taken notes on comfort foods. I remember chocolate, but I cant think of anything else. Maybe I should have paid attention, no, that would have confused me more." He shuttered at memories of how the teacher taught the class. One specific memory came to mind. "Now, when it is humid, you should add less flour to the dough. It is pretty humid out so you will need the maximum amount of flour..." (1)

He knew that he was only thinking of his teacher was only a way to avoid thinking about the situation at hand. He settled on a choice of hot chocolate and yellow cake with chocolate icing that was left over from Drake's birthday party. It had enough chocolate in it to help, but not so much that Ryo would catch onto his plans. He also knew that warm milk was comforting, especially if it was whole milk, which was all that Drake would drink. Most times, JJ complained because it wasn't as healthy as the watery skim milk that he drank, but in this case, it was perfect.

He put everything on a tray and carried it out of the kitchen. Drake glanced at him as he passed through the living room. If he hadn't known what was going on after his first pass through, he knew now.

"Ryo, I'm back. Could you open the door, my hands are full." JJ knocked on the door as best he could, using his foot instead of his hand.

The door swung open and JJ stepped in before it was closed behind him. He motioned for Ryo to go back to the bed and told him to pull the covers down. It was only once Ryo was propped up with pillows and covered up with the most comfortable blanket JJ had ever found that JJ put the tray over his lap.

"Eat up, I don't want to carry anything back other than dirty dishes, understood? Oh, I almost forgot to ask if you had a Tylenol, crying always gives me a headache and I don't know if it is just me or not." JJ sat on the bed next to him, careful no to knock the tray over. "Do you want to tell me what happened? I only heard Dee's side of it."

"When I came back to visit him, I knew that I loved him, I don't want to be without him ever again!" Ryo said a little too loudly. Realizing this, he took a sip of the hot chocolate and a deep breath. "I mean, after visiting him I realized that I loved him but it was too late. I had asked Amy to marry me. I don't know why I did it, it was stupid. But she found out about Dee and she left me, actually she told me to go home. I did, but then Dee threw me out."

"Do you want to know what he is going through?" JJ asked, careful to keep his voice neutral. Before now, he had not been mad with Ryo. He had thought that his story would prove that it was not his fault, that Dee had been over exaggerating the truth. Now he was pissed. "He loved you with his whole heart, you meant the world to him and then you just walked off. Worse yet, you recovered so quickly, he thought that you had never loved him. Then when he sees you, you run right back to him. He gets his hopes up, his love for you is renewed, then you go back to her. From what I have heard, it happened twice. He just doesn't want it to happen again."

"I know, but it wont!"

"That's what he thought last time!" JJ yelled back, not able to keep his temper in check. It was too much like what Drake had done. He took three deep breaths to control his temper. He reminded himself that the last thing Ryo needed was someone yelling at him. "ok, sorry, I'm better now. Sometime while you were away, Drake started cheating on me with some girl. He broke up with me for her and it was only after that that I learned about what they had done while he was still with me. I felt exactly like Dee feels right now, that I was just his sex toy, that the man I loved had no love for me. You need to talk to Drake about what he went through, I cant tell you the rest, not well enough anyway. Just know that it did work out."

"JJ." A knock on the door broke the soft conversation inside. "Can I come in?"

"Sure, we were just talking about you, but first, can I talk with you in the hall?" JJ opened the door to reveal Drake standing their, one of his shoulder's soaked.

"I just need a new shirt." Drake argued, trying to brush past JJ, who quickly moved to block him.

"You might need a new shirt, but I need you." The smaller of the two said through clenched teeth. Drake nodded and stepped back so that JJ could get into the hall and close the door behind him.

"Drake." JJ bit his lip and looked into his partner's eyes. He didn't have to say anything else, Drake scooped him up in his arms and hugged him close. JJ told Drake Ryo's side of the story and said that he couldn't help him any more.

"I know, baby, but it will be alright. If you go out there with Dee then I'll take care of him. You should have come out here before." Drake kissed JJ's forehead while he stroked his back slowly. "I love you, never forget that."

"I love you too." JJ whispered as he pulled from the embrace. "I had better go talk to Dee."

(1) This is an almost exact quote (there was a little that she said in-between) she is an idiot, I hate her!!!! GAH! ...sorry, she is one of the four or five teachers that I have come across that never should be in charge of the education of others.

OK peoples: I made this chapter extra long as a way to try to make up for that short chapter. The reason that last chapter was so sort was because it was an attempt to avoid a mean cliff hanger. Would you prefer that it ended with Dee closing the door on Ryo? See, I'm not all that mean! The reason for the Drake/JJ thing, I figured that someone's relationship had better be a good one! Do you like it or wish that they would go to hell? (not that it is going to change anything, I need them for a little longer.) sorry for making them so lovey dovey but knowing JJ...yeah, he is rather codependent.

YAY! I remembered Bikky, I think he is happy now. (Bikky: fuck you!) or not...

so anyway, there is one chapter left and an epilog. dun dun dun!