(A/N): Well, here's chapter five! Sorry it took me so long to update this time. My parents banned me from the net for a few weeks because I "challenged" them. And I was right too! I shouldn't have to clean my room. I live in it and if I feel more comfortable with it junky then I ought to be able to leave it junky. When I said that though, they just said that my room wasn't just junky, it was hell with fuzzy pizza boxes... I named one if them Henry!! He's cute! At least I think it's a he. The good part about that was that I got to write more. I got three and a half chapters finished! Oh, I'm having some trouble with the symbol thingies too. You know, with the stars and faces with the things? Yeah, they don't want to show up in the final product. Could someone tell me what the problem is if they know? Please? Cause I love my little face thingies... Anyway, I've noticed that a lot of people format their actions a different way, so till I figure out what the problem is, my actions will be formatted like this: ::action:: I hope it works out...

SweetestReject: Haha Well here's the next chappy just for you! Thanks for reviewing! Much appreciated! ::grins broadly::

Serena Tasneem: Ok, updated now. Didn't do it that soon, but I got it done. ::cheers::

SwEeT-sHoRtEy: lol Thanks! I learned how to use Spell Check, so hopefully I'll start using better grammar and spelling and stuff. And I promise to try to write longer chapters. Hehe No promises though! ::winks::

Lilly: There's a reason she didn't actually look at her body. It will be explained in this chapter though. And Suze will eventually go mad with grief (not literally) over her own death. But that comes later. Thanks for the tips!! ::gives Lilly a pretty flower:: hehe It's a lilly. The flower I mean. Cause your name is Lilly. Get it?

Dark-Killer: Glad you like it! ::grins::

DancinSweethart: lol You're right! Hehehe No, Paul's not going to do that. He's not that evil. Or I don't think so at least... ::looks at Paul's Evil Meter:: Nope, not that evil.

Chapter five: Truly Hell

I immediately ran into a problem though. I didn't know how to de- and rematerialize. But it couldn't be that hard right? Jesse did it like it was nothing. Of course, he had been doing it for 150 years...

"Shit!" I said with feeling. How the hell was this going to work? Did I just picture the place I wanted to go and poof? It made a strange sort of sense I guess. And it was supposed to work for shifting.

I tried it. I closed my eyes and thought of Father D's office. I thought of the big oak desk and the white walls with the picture of the angel and children behind the plush rolling chair. ((I know Father Dom's office doesn't really look like this, but I've misplaced my copy of Shadowland where I think it is described. But this is close enough for right now)) I opened my eyes and I was still in Paul's room. Damn!!

I tried it again and this time thought of Father D. sitting in that plush rolling chair. When I opened my eyes this time, I was standing in front of the big oak desk and Father Dominic looked like he was going to have a heart attack!

Note to self, I thought, when trying to materialize somewhere else, think of person you are looking for.

Another note to self, warn the person you are looking for before popping up in front of or behind them.

I took a step toward the father and gently eased my hands up in the universal gesture meaning I come in peace. His eyes were as big as saucers and he was shaking so hard he looked as if he would fall out of his chair.

"Father D, it's okay. I'm fine. No need to have a stroke."

"FINE? FINE Susannah?! You are DEAD!!!"

I'd never seen him this upset before, but he'd have to calm down soon or someone would hear him and think he was screaming at himself or something.

"Calm down Father. It's not as bad as it looks." Stupid thing to say.

"NOT AS BAD AS IT LOOKS?"

"Um..."

"How did this happen?"

"Um..."

"How Susannah?

Well, there was no way I was telling him the whole truth. He was a priest for god's sake! How would he react if I told him that I was making out with Paul Slater, then Jesse—who I wasn't supposed to have feelings for—showed up all emotional and started a fight with Paul, causing a ghost to show up, knocking me, literally, dead! I wasn't sure which would upset him more, the violence or the... sexual-ish... stuff. Probably both. But I could probably get away with a sort of half truth.

"Mediator stuff gone bad." I said. And I guess it was true. I mean, I went to Paul's house strictly for mediator business. Stuff had just happened.

"Well, why are you here? Shouldn't you have moved on?" He seemed to almost choke on those words. It sent a sharp dagger through my heart to see how hard it was for him that I was dead. It had been a mistake coming here. I shouldn't have hurt him like this.

"I don't know."

"What aren't you telling me?"

"Nothing."

"You're lying."

"I am not."

"Yes you are. Tell me exactly what happened."

I closed my eyes and went back to Paul's house. I wasn't going to tell him. No way. I wouldn't have gone back there, but I didn't know of anywhere else to go. I couldn't go back home because seeing Mom, and her not being able to see me, would have shattered my careful control. I couldn't go to Adam or Cee Cee's house for the same reason. And going to the graveyard—where I normally go to think—would have meant seeing Jesse's grave, which would have made me think of my grave, which would have also sent me over the edge. Paul's house, however, made me feel empty. Which wasn't really a lot better than going crazy, but still. It was something.

Ironic. The place that I would have normally dreaded to go had become a sort of safe haven. And it didn't bother me. I should have been upset that the demon's lair was my harbor. But it didn't. It really didn't. I mused over that for a while.

Paul hadn't brought Jesse back yet. His body was on the floor, slumped just where he had left it. Thinking of Paul's body made me think of mine. I had been too worried about Jesse when I had first come back from the Shadowland to notice it. But I was dead, so my body aught to be around here somewhere. But I didn't see it. I had been over by the bed when Biker Bob had hit me. I looked in that direction. It wasn't there. Oh, god.

"Paul! Paul, please, I need you for a second!" I knew he couldn't hear me, but I still had to try.

I busied around the room, looking in the closet and under the bed to see if it had been shoved there. It hadn't. Ohshitohshitohshit!

Just as I was about to run out of the room to check other places, Paul's body tensed and somebody grabbed me around my waist and lifted up in a hug from behind. If you've never been hugged from behind, I don't recommend it. It feels really weird to be hugged when you couldn't see who was holding you. Although, I didn't have to see him to know it was Jesse.

With Jesse's arms around me I instantly relaxed a little. But I was still worried about my body. I still wanted a proper burial. I didn't want to be shoved somewhere where nobody could find me and I would be listed as another missing person. Huh-uh. No freakin way.

"Jesse, I can't find myself!" Stupid. He looked at me kind of funny, then seemed to realize what I was saying. He looked over at Paul, who was still on the floor, but he was sitting up now. He was also cradling his head in his hands.

Jesse was about to say something, probably accus him of hiding my body from me, but I cut him off.

"Paul, what's the matter?"

"Shifting always gives me a headache. And I just shifted three times in a row. My head feels like it's going to explode!" He groaned in pain.

I pictured his kitchen and was instantly there. Looked like I was getting the hang of the whole thing. I found a bottle of Tylenol, which was sitting on the counter, but when I tried to pick it up, my hand went right through it. What the...

Oh, that was right, I would have some trouble touching stuff for a while. Jesse popped in beside me.

"Here, let me help," he said, and easily picked it up. ((Does anyone know if ghosts can materialize with stuff in their hands? Cause in Darkest Hour Maria came into Suze's room with a knife, but I didn't know if she brought it with her or if she got it from the kitchen or something. Did it say anything about it? And I couldn't find any other instances where ghosts used something that hadn't just been lying around. Anyway, if anyone knows, tell me please.)) We went back up to Paul's room and I gave him two of the pills. He took them dry and stood up. They couldn't have worked that fast, but he must have been used to the pain by now since he obviously shifted so often.

"Now," I said, "do you know what happened to my body?"

"No. Sorry, but I really don't."

"Well do you think Biker Bob might have carried it off to have fun with or something?"

He looked horrified for a moment, but quickly recovered. "I doubt it." I noticed that he didn't correct me on calling the guy Biker Bob. Maybe that was his real name? Nah, he probably just didn't remember it. I wouldn't have doubted it for a second. That he didn't know the guy's name I mean. Although I also wouldn't have doubted that Biker Bob had taken my body to get his jollies with. But he better not have. Because if her did, he was SO DEAD!! Or... SO DEADER... or whatever.

"What do you mean?" This from Jesse, who was standing beside me, looking at us like we were talking a foreign language. "How could he have fun with a dead body?" He said the last carefully, as if he were afraid that saying the words dead and body would kill me. Again. But I was hung up on the other part. How could he not know what we meant? Well, there was no way I was going to explain it to him. I mean, gross!

Paul looked as if he were about to explain though. But I stopped him with a quick elbow to the gut. He made a strange noise somewhere between a grunt and a whine and doubled over on the floor.

"We just meant that he would... um... hide it. So no one would find it. And it would be entertaining or something. I mean who knows with freaks like him, right Paul?"

He quickly nodded, still crouched close to the ground, as if he would throw up. I took a step away from him. I didn't want the contents of his stomach on my Jimmy Choos.

I suddenly realized something. I would have to wear what I died in for the rest of my unlife. That meant wearing the torturous shoes forever! An eternity of pinched and blistered toes!

"Susannah, what is the matter? You look like you swallowed a bee." Jesse gently eased a muscular arm around me. Oops, he thought I was thinking about being dead or something. And I was thinking about shoes. I felt a little guilty about letting him hold me for a while, but I was feeling miserable. Just not for the reasons he thought. Besides, nobody could resist letting those wondrous arms encircle their waist. Well, maybe Paul. But besides him, no one.

You know, I thought, maybe this being dead stuff won't be all that bad...

(A/N): So, this one was longer. Almost five pages, single spaced, on Word. All the others have been about two or three pages. Anyway, wadda ya think? Do you think Biker Bob is gonna rape Suze's dead body? EWWWW! And why the hell do you think Jesse is so clueless? Hehe! I thought that was pretty funny myself. And poor Suze is gonna have to spend forever in those damned shoes!! ::shudders:: Now that is truly hell.