Disclaimer: This is fanfiction. I have no money, I make no money. Everything belongs to Tolkien/Tolkien Estate or Loius Macneige/Macneige Estate.

Prayer Before Writing

I am not yet written; O hear me.

Let not the bloodsucking Mary Sue or the noxious nuzgûl or the oblivious oliphaunt

or the club-handed fangirl come near me.

oooOooo

I am not yet written; console me.

I fear that the fanfiction writers may with foul files frame me,

with dreary dreams drain me, with loose lines lure me,

with rank reviews rack and ruin me, in the blood of their vile visions roll me.

oooOooo

I am not yet written; provide me

With splendid spelling to please me, good grammar to garnish me, style

to steady me, language to languish in, carefully constructed characters and

perfectly proportioned plot to pull me from your brain into your pc.

oooOooo

I am not yet written; forgive me

For the sins that in me the writer shall commit, her words

when she speaks me, her thoughts when she thinks me,

my treason engendered by ideas and nuzgûl beyond me,

my life when she murders Middle-earth by means of my

hands, my death when she lives me.

oooOooo

I am not yet written; rehearse me

In the poems I must possess and the prose I must prove

when

foolish fanfiction writers form me, betas beat me,

reviewers

rage at me, teenagers titter at me, the white

mountains call me to folly and Dagorlad calls

me to doom and the reader refuses

my gift and her husband hails me hilarious.

oooOooo

I am not yet written; O hear me,

Let not the writer who is whore to Word or who thinks she is

Eru come near me.

oooOooo

I am not yet written; O fill me

With strength against those who would freeze my

fantasy, would cage me into cold canon,

would make me a story id in an archive, a thing with

no title, a thing, and against all those

who would dissipate my dignity, would

mail me like mindless matter hither and

thither or hither and thither

like water held in the

hands would spill me

Let them not make me a stone and let them not spill me.

Otherwise kill me.

(a parody based on "Prayer before Birth" by Louis Macneige; italics indicate unchanged lines )

oooOooo

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Anything at all: If you noticed a typo, if you don't like a characterization or description, if you thought a line especially funny, if there was anything you particularly enjoyed … I am really interested in what my readers think about my writing.

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Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed this poem.

Yours
JunoMagic